FEBRUARY 22ND MMXII

FRIDAY STARTED WITH A BANG, A WHITE AND RED WINE TEXAS HOLDEM HANGOVER QUICKLY CURED WITH 45 MINUTES ON THE ELIPTICAL. I GOT HOME, DOWNED 2 RED BULLS AND STARTED ON DESMOND'S 45PISTOL/SKELETON HAND FOREARM TATTOO THAT TURNED OUT SUPER GOOD, I TOOK A NAP AND WAITED FOR MY DATE WITH SALMA (STAR) WALTER WAS LATE TO PICK ME UP AND HAD NO IDEA HOW TO GET TO THE WATERFRONT. WHICH IN TURN MADE ME 45 MINUTES LATE...NO RESPONSE TO MY TEXTS SO I JUST SAT DOWN AT A NICE RESTAURANT, HAD A COUPLE OF SCOTCH ROCKS BEFORE DECIDING TO EAT WITHOUT HER I ATE CALAMARI & BIG STEAK, HOPING FOR WILD CALAMARI DREAMS. WHILE I WAS EATING ON THAT WHITE TABLECLOTH SURROUNDED BY DISAPPOINTMENT AND STRANGE TOURISTS AND ODD LANGUAGES IN THE AIR I COULDN'T HELP BUT THINK OF CORALIE, THAT SWEET GIRL-WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE FOR A FEW MORE NIGHTS WITH HER IN PARIS OR SOMETHING. SHES SO SHELTERED IN HER CORSICAN LIFE, MAKES ME WANT TO DRAG HER OUT OF IT AND SHAKE THE TREE, AND BLESS HER WITH MY BASTARD CHILD. SAME WAY I FEEL ABOUT MY GIRLS BACK HOME I GUESS. AFTER THIS TRIP IS DONE I DONT THINK ANYTHING WILL EVER BE THE SAME, HOME WILL BE DIFFERENT, FRIENDS WILL SIT IN A DIFFERENT VIEW, AND ILL HAVE AN UNQUENCHABLE HUNGER FROM TRAVEL THAT WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED. I HAVE A STRANGE FEELING THAT THIS TRIP MAY NEVER END, I MAY MAKE IT HOME BUT IF I DO I HAVE A FEELING THAT THE ROAD WILL CALL ME RIGHT BACK OUT TO THE ADVENTURES IVE COME TO LIVE FOR. IM HOPING DESPERATELY TO GET A JOB IN CYPRUS, I LONG FOR THE MEDITERRANEAN LIFESTYLE AGAIN, THE FOOD AND WOMEN, WHAT BLISS. I GOTTA MAKE IT HAPPEN, ONE MORE MIRACLE TO PERFORM BY ST ED. FACT IS, IF I DON'T, I'LL BE SLEEPING ON THE STREETS OF ALEXANDRIA TRYING TO FIGURE OUT MY NEXT GAMBLE. I BOOKED MY TICKET FINALLY IN ANOTHER GAMBLE, SPENT MOST OF MY MILES TO GET FROM ZIMBABWE TO CAIRO IN MY LITTLE CAPE TO CAIRO YORKATRONIC VERSION. THAT MEANS I WILL HAVE TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD THE TICKET FROM LONDON TO NEW YORK WHICH I HAVE A FEELING, IS GONNA GET INTERESTING. SO INSTEAD OF HEADING HOME WITH MY TAIL BETWEEN MY LEGS, I CALLED DES AND HIT THE TOWN. WE WENT TO A COUPLE CLUBS, BUT THE FEZ CLUB DOWNTOWN WENT OFF, I WAS DOING COKE BY THE GRAM IN THE BATHROOM WITH SOME NIGERIAN DUDE AND PUTTING DOWN BOURBON COKES LIKE THE SHIT WAS GOING EXTINCT. FAST FORWARD, I GET HOME AROUND FOUR, THE THING ABOUT COCAINE IS THAT EVERBODY ACTS LIKE ITS GLAMOROUS, NO ONE EVER ILLUSTRATES SITTING FOR HOURS AS THE SUN COMES UP WISHING YOU COULD SLEEP, THAT YOU WOULD'VE DRANK WAY MORE IN ORDER TO PASS OUT AND YOUR JAW TIGHTENING UP IN THE SILENCE AS YOU WAIT FOR IT TO WEAR OFF....SATURDAYS HANGOVER WAS BUSINESS AS USUAL, I LAID AROUND ALL DAY READING AND FUCKING OFF BEFORE ALL OF CHADS FRIENDS SHOWED UP FOR POKER. I BOUGHT IN TWICE BUT STEADILY KEPT WINNING, DRANK 3 BOTTLES OF WINE AND GOT STONED, I REMEMBER WONDERING HOW I WAS SO FUCKED UP ONLY DRINKING WINE, AS THE NIGHT GOT MORE DEBOUCHEROUS I BROKE UP A FIGHT WITH TWO OF CHADS FRIENDS AND KICKED THEM OUT OF THE HOUSE, LAME, AFTER THE SCUFFLE WE ALL DETERMINED IT WAS TIME TO GO TO BED. SUNDAY HURT, WE WERE ALL USELESS WITH THE HANGOVERS. STAR GOT AT ME WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR DATE, SHE NEVER GOT MY TEXTS EVEN THOUGH I HAD HER NUMBER RIGHT…THE CONVERSATION EVOLVED INTO WHEN I WAS LEAVING AND THAT SHE WOULD BE HAPPY TO BE "MY CAPE TOWN FLING" WHAT FUN, IF ONLY I HAD THE MONEY TO AFFORD TO TAKE HER OUT. SIGH. PIPER IS GONNA BE HERE IN A WEEK AND FOUR DAYS, I GOTTA PUT THE MONEY TOGETHER FOR A TICKET TO ZIMBABWE, A YELLOW FEVER SHOT, MALARIA PILLS AND TAKING HER AROUND IN CAPE TOWN. AT LEAST IVE GOT RITA AROUND MY NECK AGAIN, SHES BEEN MISSING FROM MY NECKLACE SINCE ONE OF MY GIRLS BIT IT OFF ME IN MY ROOM IN CORSICA. IVE PUT UP MORE ADS ON THE TATTOO FORUMS AND HOPING FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE PITY ON ME IN CYPRUS, IN MALTA OR CRETE…SOMEPLACE I CAN REACH WITH A SHORT CHEAP FLIGHT FROM EGYPT. THE CAPE WIND WOKE ME THIS MORNING, AS I STRETCHED AND WONDERED THE TIME, THE WIND REMINDED ME THAT I HAVE DEVELOPED IN A VERY SHORT TIME "CAPETONIAN EYES" ITS PRETTY COOL, ALL THE LOCALS ARE UN-EFFECTED BY THE WIND AND THE ENDLESS DEBRIS THAT IS ALWAYS BLOWING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES DOWN HERE. I NO LONGER DODGE, FLINCH AND CLOSE MY EYES. MY STRESS HAS BECOME A USUAL THING ON THIS TRIP, IM SICK OF IT, BUT AM JUST LOOKING FORWARD WITH THE KNOWLEDGE I CAN HANDLE IT, HOME ISNT AN OPTION JUST YET, GOTTA MAKE MONEY OR DIE TRYING.

FEBRUARY 13TH MMXII

LAST WEEK WAS LONG AND BY SUNDAY THINGS STARTED TO LOOK UP. FRIDAY I SPOKE WITH MY SISTER AND SHE WILL BE HERE ON THE 3RD OF MARCH. SPOKE TO LAURA, SHES MEETING ME ON THE 6TH IN CAIRO THEN WE ARE HEADED TO THAT WEDDING IN ALEXANDRIA (FATE). FRIDAY AND SATURDAY I DID A COUPLE OF FREE TATTOOS HERE AT THE HOUSE ON CHAD AND ALEX TO SEE IF I COULD GET THE BALL ROLLING, A COUPLE OF FACEBOOK POSTS LATER AND SUNDAY THE HOUSE WAS FULL WITH PEOPLE WANTING TO GET TATTOOED, I WAS UNDER CHARGING BUT STILL PUTTING A LOT OF MONEY AWAY. I DID 2 BIG TATTOOS AND A SMALL ONE AND MADE ABOUT R4500 ABOUT $500 USD. LITTLE BIT OF RELIEF FROM MY STRESSES ABOUT MONEY IS CERTAINLY WELCOME, BUT I STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO. I SPOKE WITH BRADLEY ABOUT MY GUEST SPOT IN HARARE ZIMBABWE, ITS A GO FOR MID MARCH, JUST GOTTA RAISE ENOUGH FOR THE $400 TICKET TO GET THERE. THEN THE SOONER THE BETTER RAISE ENOUGH FOR THE $800 TICKET TO EGYPT, IM SECRETLY HOPING I CAN BUM MILES FROM SOMEONE BACK HOME...WHO KNOWS. I GOTTA DO THE RESEARCH TO SEE WHAT KIND OF WEIRD INJECTIONS ILL NEED TO GO TO ZIMBABWE TOO, HOPING ITS JUST MALARIA SO I DONT HAVE TO SHELL OUT THE R1000 RAND TO GET A YELLOW FEVER SHOT. MY MOM AND DAD SENT ME A VIDEO THEY PUT TOGETHER OF THEM BUILDING OUR CABIN, IT MADE ME CRY, NOT SURE IF ITS BECAUSE I MISS THEM SO MUCH OR BECAUSE I DONT GET THERE AS OFTEN AS I WOULD LIKE TO WHEN I AM HOME. IT WAS AMAZING AND FUNNY THAT THEY SENT IT TO ME HERE SINCE ITS ONE OF THE FIRST PLACES I WILL GO ONCE THIS RIDICULOUS JOURNEY IS OVER. ITS FUNNY THAT I HAVE THE FIRST COUPLE WEEKS MAPPED OUT IN MY HEAD AFTER I GET HOME, WHETHER IT BE MONTHS OR YEARS FROM NOW IM NOT SURE BUT I DO KNOW WHAT I MISS THE MOST ABOUT HOME. I MISS MY MOM AND DAD, OUR CABIN, THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE THAT MAKE IT FUN. I CERTAINLY DONT MISS THE PEOPLE THAT DONT, THERE WILL HAVE TO BE A CHOPPING BLOCK ONCE IM HOME, THOSE PEOPLE THAT ARENT REAL JUST WONT BE ABLE TO STAY ANY LONGER, LIFE IS JUST TO SHORT AND SINCE IVE BEEN GONE I BELIEVE I HAVE BECOME SOMETHING THAT I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE, MORE REAL THAN I WAS, MORE COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN AND A SOLID BELIEF THAT WHO I AM HAS A VALUE THAT CANT BE RIVALED.

FEBRUARY 9TH MMXII

THEY SAY WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOURE YOUNG HAUNTS YOU AS YOU AGE.

THEY SAY EVENTUALLY YOULL FIND THE RIGHT ONE AND SETTLE DOWN.

THEY SAY A LOT OF SHIT TO PLACE THIER RULES ON YOU.

LATELY I FEEL LIKE THE GOOD PART OF ME IS PINNED UNDERNEATH THE EVIL BOOT OF THE REAL ME. CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE CHANGED TO DESPERATE. I CHECKED MY CARD TODAY THAT HOUSED THE MONEY MY COUSIN DONATED TO MY CAUSE, FROM 500 USD IT MAGICALLY DEPLETED TO $133…HOLY FUCK, COMBINE THAT  WITH THE 3500 RAND THAT I HAVE REMAINING IN THE CASH RESERVE AND OLE SAINT ED HAS TO PROVE HIS WORTH. PIPER IS COMING IN LESS THAN A MONTH, I GOTTA BE IN EGYPT ON THE 6TH AND SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN RAISE MORE THAN $1300 BUCKS TO FUCKING FUND THIS OPERATION, JUST TO SURELY GO BROKE IN EGYPT JUST TO FACE IT ALL OVER AGAIN. ITS TAKING ALL THAT I HAVE TO NOT TURN AND STUFF DRUGS INTO MY FACE TILL MY CHEEKS ARE FULL. CURSES WRATH!!! SO HERE IS THE CLUTCH, THIS IS WHERE I LIVE, THIS IS WHAT I DO, WHAT OTHERS CANNOT. I CAN TURN THIS INTO A MIRACLE, I CAN TURN THIS INTO SOMETHING NO OTHER PERSON ON THE PLANET COULD DO, IM GONNA PULL IT THE FUCK OFF. 

FEBRUARY 8TH MMXII

ITS NICE TO HAVE SOME DAYS OFF, BUT THE ANXIETY IS BEGINNING TO GROW IN ME. FRIDAY MY SISTER IS GOING TO GET BACK WITH ME AND WE WILL DETERMINE IF SHES GONNA MAKE IT DOWN TO HEAD TOWARD ZIMBABWE. SINCE I QUIT AT SKINCORE IVE BEEN SENDING OUT EMAILS DAILY, NETWORKING AND MAKING APPEARANCES AT THE SUPPLY HOUSES TO REMIND THEM IM AROUND. SO FAR NOTHING BUT A COUPLE EMAILS TO SHOOT ME DOWN FROM FULL TATTOO SHOPS. THE GOOD IN THIS IS IVE BEEN ABLE TO READ ALOT, GORDONS WIFE INADVERTENTLY GAVE ME THE FIRST BOOK OF THE HUNGER GAMES, I FINISHED IT IN ABOUT A DAY, IT WAS VERY GOOD AND NICE TO BE SUCKED INTO A DIFFERENT WORLD DURING THAT TIME. ITS FUN TO READ SOMETHING AND UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING THATS HAPPENING ABSOLUTELY, A FAR CRY FROM MACHIAVELLI AND HOMER, I STARTED THE ILIAD AGAIN AND AM THRILLED TO BE READING IT, FEELING LIKE IM REVISITING MY OWN NATURAL HOMERIC VALUES OF HONOR AND MY DREAMY VERSIONS OF HOW MY LIFE COULD PLAY OUT. I SIGNED UP AT VIGIN ACTIVE FOR THE MONTH, ITS AN AMAZING GYM AND PROBABLY THE NICEST ONE IVE EVER BEEN IN, A LOT DIFFERENT THAN THE COLD DRY WAREHOUSE GYMS BACK HOME, THIS PLACE HAS ALL THE FINISHES AND PHOTOS OF RICHARD BRANSON EVERYWHERE. IT FEELS GOOD TO BREAK A SWEAT AND TRY TO BURN SOME OF THE WEIGHT IVE GAINED SINCE I GOT TO SOUTH AFRICA, CORSICA WAS SO GOOD FOR ME, I WAS THIN AND HAPPY WITHIN A COUPLE WEEKS OF MY ARRIVAL, THE OPPOSITE HERE AT THE END OF THE WORLD. IVE BEEN CANCELING BACK AND FORTH WITH SALMA, THE GIRL THAT LOOKS LIKE STAR FROM THE LOST BOYS, IM PRETTY SURE WE ARE BOTH OVER CHASING EACH OTHER AROUND, BUT YOU NEVER KNOW, VALENTINES IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, ITS EDMONDS UNBIRTHDAY AFTER ALL. WISH ME LUCK, IM DOWN TO LESS THAN R4000 RAND AND HAVE A LONG WAY TO TRAVEL BETWEEN NOW AND APRIL. I BOUGHT SOME DISPOSABLE TUBES AND SHIT SO I CAN TATTOO A FEW PEOPLE HERE AND THERE THAT I CAN LURE INTO THE WEB, NO LUCK SO FAR BUT IM WORKING IT. TATTOOING AT HOME MAY BE MY ONLY SAVING GRACE.

FEBRUARY 6TH MMXII

FEBRUARY 3RD MMXII

THE STRAW HAS FINALLY BROKE THE CAMELS BACK. YESTERDAY IN THE SHOP 6 DIFFERENT PEOPLE CAME THROUGH FOR THIER APPOINTMENTS AND WHEN THEY LEARNED THAT CHRIS WASNT HERE, THEY LEFT TO GO TO HIS HOUSE TO GET TATTOOED. HE WAS CHARGING HALF THE SHOP RATE, WHICH IS WHAT HE WOULDVE GOTTEN ANYWAY IF I WOULD HAVE DONE THE TATTOOS. IVE DECIDED (WITH THE HELP OF A FACEBOOK POLL, YES IM A NERD) THAT IM GONNA SPLIT TODAY AFTER THIS TATTOO. TOO MUCH WEIRD SHIT IS GOING ON AT THIS SHOP, CHARGING APPRENTICES TO NOT TEACH THEM ANYTHING AND TO THREATEN THEM WITH TERMINATION ON AN UNPAID JOB, MAKING THE APPRENTICES BREAK DOWN STATIONS WITHOUT GLOVES TO SAVE MONEY, THE GUY GOT ME ARRESTED THROUGH HIS INCOMPETENCE, AND FINALLY, ITS BEEN 4 TOTAL WEEKS OF HIM THIEVING TATTOOS OUT OF THE SHOP SO HE CAN DO THEM AT HOME. TIME FOR ME TO BOUNCE, ITS NOT THE MOST RESPONSIBLE THING FOR ME TO DO, BUT IM EXCITED TO HIT THE STREETS OF CAPE TOWN TO FIND A NEW SHOP. AFTER HEARING LESS THAN HALF OF WHATS BEEN GOING ON, MY FRIEND AND MENTOR GORDON SAID: "FUCK THAT DUDE, GET A JOB IN TOWN, LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE UNHAPPY." I LIVE BY THAT KIND OF STATEMENT BUT HEARING IT FROM GORDON ASSURED ME THAT ITS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. FUCK ANY CONSEQUENCES, THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY. GONNA DO THIS GYSPY BUST TATTOO AND SPLIT. CROSS YOUR FINGERS, IF IM LUCKY ILL HAVE A JOB WITHIN THE WEEK.

COUPLE HOURS LATER:

I FINISHED THAT GYPSY WITH THE NEW SHADER THAT WRATH LET ME BORROW IN RECORD TIME, ITS FUNNY HOW FAST SHIT GOES WHEN YOU DONT HAVE YOUR MACHINE WORKING AGAINST YOU. IM SUPER STOKED ON THE DESIGN, THE GUY WAS SUPER HAPPY. I DECIDED TO HAVE MY CLIENT DRIVE ME UP TO THE BARBER IN SIMONS TOWN BEFORE ID CALL CHRIS TO CLEAR MY HEAD. I GOT THERE AT ABOUT 130 AND WAITED A HALF AN HOUR FOR THE GUYS TO GET OUT OF MOSQUE GOT MY HAIR CUT AND WALKED BACK WITH A CLEAR HEAD. I CALLED ALEX AND ONCE ANNETTE ARRIVED 15 MINUTES LATER, I LOADED MY STUFF INTO THE CALL, TURNED ON THE VIDEO CAMERA AND CALLED CHRIS TO QUIT. HE DIDNT TAKE IT SO GOOD, THROUGH CHOKED BACK TEARS HE SAID "ID NEVER DO THIS TO YOU" AND TRIED TO CLARIFY SOME OF THE SHIT I WAS QUITTING OVER. I TOLD HIM THAT ULTIMATELY I WASNT HAPPY AND IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO GO. NOW IM DRINKING WINE AND SENDING OUT MORE EMAILS TO SHOPS IN CAPE TOWN. IVE BEEN SHOT DOWN BY 2 OF THE 3 BIG SHOPS SO FAR, BUT IM STILL UNDETERRED. STAY TUNED...

FEBRUARY 1ST MMXII

JANUARY 31ST MMXII

IT WAS JUST SURREAL, THATS ALL I CAN FUCKIN SAY, OUR LAST 2 FULL DAYS WERE NOTHING  BUT SPECTACULAR. WE JAMMED SO MUCH FUCKIN SHIT IN IT WAS RIDICULOUS AND WE WERE PUSHING THE LIMITS ON WHAT YOU CAN CALL TOURING. WE WOKE UP MONDAY MORNING AT 8 AND HIT THE ROAD STRAIGHT AWAY. WE DROVE ABOUT 3 HOURS BEFORE REACHING THE AQUILA PRIVATE GAME RESERVE WAY THE FUCK OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE, NESTLED IN A VALLEY IN THE MOUNTAINS. WE GOT THERE AROUND 11 AND THEY SAID OUR ROOM WOULDN'T BE READY UNTIL 3,  SO FOR R200 (ABOUT $20) WE DECIDED TO GO ON A QUAD SAFARI. NOW THIS PLACE WE WERE AT WAS SUPER HIGH CLASS, EVERYONE REFERRED TO US AS SIR, THE MEALS WERE BUFFET STYLE WITH HIGH PRICED WINE AND A GREAT INFINITY POOL AND GRASS ROOFS ON EVERYTHING ALL SURROUNDED BY THIS AMAZING BACK DROP OF DRY MOUNTAINS THAT REMINDED ME OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA OR EASTERN WASHINGTON. WE GOT BRIEFED ON SAFETY FOR THE QUADS AND WE WERE OFF. IT WAS SO FUN TO SPEED AROUND KNOWING THERE WERE GONNA BE WILD ANIMALS AROUND EACH CORNER. GETTING TO DRIVE AT ALL FOR ME WAS GREAT, I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SINCE I LEFT CORSICA. WE SAW ALL KINDS OF SHIT WHILE WE WERE OUT, INCLUDING A LIONESS THAT WAS IN THE SEPARATE PARK. GORDONS QUAD RAN OUT OF GAS AND WE SAT AROUND BULLSHITTING AND LAUGHING FOR A WHILE BEFORE WE HEADED OFF AND FOUND ZEBRAS AND ELEPHANTS, WE WERE SO CLOSE AT ANY MOMENT WE COULD HAVE DITCHED THE GUIDE AND RODE UP AND TOUCHED THEM, IT WAS INSANE. WHEN WE FOUND THE RHINO TROOP I GOT EVERYONE OFF THEIR BIKES AND HAD THE GUIDE TAKE A PHOTO OF US WITH THEM IN THE BACKGROUND AS THE BIG MALE WAS STANDING UP AND GETTING PISSED AND STARTING TO MOVE TOWARDS US, THE GUIDE WAS GETTING PRETTY NERVOUS. IT WAS AWESOME. ONE OF MY BEST MEMORIES WAS RIDING IN THE BACK OF THE GROUP AND WATCHING 5 OR 6 SPRINGBOK PRANCING ACROSS OUR PATH IN FRONT. AT THE END OF THE QUAD SAFARI, GORDON AND RYAN SAID THAT WAS ONE OF THE COOLEST THINGS THEY HAVE EVER DONE, IT WAS FOR ME TOO JUST BECAUSE THEY WERE THERE WITH ME, WE THEN HIT THE POOL FOR A BIT BEFORE HEADING OFF ON OUR NIGHT SAFARI, IT WAS RAD BECAUSE WE WENT INTO THE LIONS DEN, ON THE WAY INTO THE LION PART OF THE PARK THERE WAS ALL KINDS OF CARNAGE, HORSE SKULLS AND LEG BONES WITH A LITTLE MEAT STILL ROTTING ON THEM. WE GOT SO CLOSE I STILL CANT UNDERSTAND IT, WE WERE IN A COVERED SAFARI TRUCK WITH LIKE 12 SEATS AND AT ANY TIME THESE BEASTS COULDVE JUMPED UP AND EATEN US, IT WAS A GREAT FEELING ESPECIALLY WHEN ONE OF THE LIONESS CAME CLOSE ENOUGH TO NEARLY TOUCH, THE IPHONE FOOTAGE OF THAT IS AWESOME, I CANT WAIT TO EDIT EVERYTHING. AFTER THE LIONS WE GOT REALLY CLOSE TO THE RHINOS AGAIN, CLOSE ENOUGH THAT RYAN REACHED OUT TO TRY AND TOUCH THE HORN OF ONE THAT WAS MOVING TOWARDS US. WE HEADED BACK AND ATE A BIG DINNER AND BULLSHITTED FOR A WHILE OVER A BOTTLE OF WINE THAT ME AND RYAN AND ALEX DRANK THEN WE HEADED BACK AND STARTED PREPPING OUR PORCUPINE QUILLS FOR TATTOOING, RYAN DECIDED HE WANTED TO GET SA12 SO AFTER THE NEEDLES WERE PREPPED AND THE INK WAS READY THEY NOMINATED ME TO DO THE FIRST TATTOO, THIS WAS NUTS AND FUNNY BECAUSE I HAD NEVER DONE A HAND POKE TATTOO BEFORE. RYAN WAS SQUIRMING IN HIS CHAIR AS HIS SKIN KEPT SNAPPING JUST LIKE MY HAND TATTOO DID IN THAILAND, WE WERE LAUGHING SO HARD I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES, IT WAS SUPER FUN. THE TATTOO LOOKED LIKE HELL AND MOST OF MY "S" DIDNT EVEN SHOW BECAUSE BY THE TIME I GOT TO IT, THE QUILL WAS BENT INTO A QUESTION MARK. RYAN TATTOOED GORDON NEXT AND MADE HIS DESIGN ABOUT QUARTER THE SIZE OF MINE, IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY. I WENT LAST AND WRATH DID MINE, ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITE TATTOOS AND I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER DOING THAT WITH THOSE GUYS. WE WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY AT 530 AND GOT AFTER OUR MORNING SAFARI, MORE OF THE SAME THIS TIME BUT WE SPOTTED THE HIPPO IN THE WATERING HOLE. WHEN IT WAS OVER, WE PACKED UP OUR SHIT, STOLE THE 2 LEATHER BOUND WELCOME FOLDERS THAT SAID AQUILA ON THEM WITH AWESOME BRASS ANIMAL BUCKLES ON THEM AND HIT THE ROAD. TWO HOURS OF DRIVING LATER AND WE GOT TO THE CHEETAH PARK, WE PAID OUR MONEY AND GOT TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE. I WAS SUPER STOKED FOR THE GUYS MORE THAN ME, KNOWING WHAT I LEFT WITH FROM THE TIGERS IN THAILAND, I WAS PLEASED THAT THE GUYS WOULD HAVE SOME OF THE SAME. WE HAD SOME TIME WITH THE ADULT CHEETAH FIRST, IT WAS IN A PATRICK SWAZY MOVIE TOO. THE CUBS WERE THE BEST, CHEETAHS ARE PRETTY THIN AND I DONT THINK I WAS WORRIED ABOUT GETTING CLAWED OR ANYTHING, IT WAS COOL. I LOVED SEEING THE SPARKLE IN RYAN AND WRATHS EYES AS THEY WERE PETTING THOSE GIANT KITTIES. IT WAS SUPER FUN. AFTER THE CHEETAHS, ON THE WAY HOME I HAD CAT HAIR ON MY SHORTS, AGAIN, LIKE THE TIGERS I ATE SOME SO I COULD HAVE GREAT DNA IN ME FOREVER. WE RUSHED HOME, STARTING TO SWEAT OUR TIMELINE TO GET THE GUYS ON THEIR PLANE AT MIDNIGHT. WE PACKED QUICK, ALL THE WHILE I WAS TRYING TO NOT THINK ABOUT THE CLOUD COMING WITH THEIR LEAVING. I KNEW I WAS GONNA BE HEART BROKEN, BUT WE HAD A FEW HOURS LEFT SO I WAS DETERMINED TO MAKE IT COUNT. AS THE BOYS JUMPED INTO THE POOL FOR THEIR LAST FUN IN THE SUN, ALEX AND I WERE BUSY TRYING TO ORGANIZE A TOWNSHIP TOUR, WE FOUND A PRIVATE TOUR FOR R2300, THREW THE SHIT IN THE CAR AND SPLIT. WE JUMPED IN THE VAN, AND THE MONOTONOUS TONE OF THE GUIDE PUT ME TO SLEEP ALMOST IMMEDIATELY, LUCKILY, WRATH ASKED STRAIGHT AWAY IF HE KNEW A SANGOMA WE COULD GO SEE SINCE ALL OF OUR ATTEMPTS UP TILL THEN HAD BEEN THWARTED. THE GUIDE LAUGHED AND KEPT ON HIS MEMORIZED PITCH ABOUT WHERE WE WERE AND WHAT WE WERE SEEING. AFTER OUR 3RD TOWNSHIP, HE PULLED OFF NEXT TO A SHIPPING CONTAINER AND WE ALL GOT OUT AND DIRECTED US INSIDE. IT WAS DARK AND I FELT LIKE I WAS IN THE SERPENT AND THE RAINBOW. IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME, I WAS GRINNING EAR TO EAR, THIS IS THE SHIT IVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR SINCE I GOT HERE. WE TALKED FOR A WHILE AND HE MADE GORDON A POTION TO RID HIS HOUSE OF EVIL SPIRITS. VIDEO WILL FOLLOW. WE WENT THROUGH SITE 9, AND I GOTTA SAY, I DONT FEAR THE TOWNSHIPS ANYMORE, THE WHITES HERE MAKE THEM SOUND LIKE HELL, WITH GUARANTEED STAB WOUNDS AND SHIT, IT WAS NOTHING LIKE THAT, I WAS IN THE STREET PLAYING WITH BLACK KIDS AND EVERYONE WAS SMILING AND WAVING…BUT THEN AGAIN, THE GUIDE KNEW WHERE TO TAKE US. AT THE END OF ALL THIS, WE SAT DOWN TO HAVE DINNER, GORDON GOT SOME MORE GIFTS FOR HALI, I PROBABLY SHOULDVE GOT HER SOMETHING TOO SINCE SHE IS ABOUT THE COOLEST WIFE IN THE WORLD FOR LETTING HIM COME OUT HERE DURING A SNOW STORM, WHILE SHES GOT SOME "HEALTH" ISSUES IN HER HOUSE. I DIDNT, BUT MAYBE I WILL GET HER SOMETHING COOL BEFORE I GO. BEFORE I KNEW IT WE WERE AT THE AIRPORT LOADING MY TRUNK FULL OF GORDONS TREASURES ONTO A CONVEYER. I TOLD GORDON HOW BAD THE NEXT COUPLE WEEKS WERE GONNA SUCK, HE LOVINGLY PATTED ME ON THE BACK AND TOLD ME TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF "THAT SHOP" AND GET TO TOWN, EGYPT, LONDON, AND HOME SO WE COULD BE TOGETHER AGAIN. ITS HARD TO FIND BEST FRIENDS, BUT EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND IVE FOUND A NEW ONE, GORDON IS MORE THAN THAT, HES BLOOD TO ME AND NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS IM GONNA HAVE THAT GUY IN MY LIFE, TATTOOIN OR NOT. I GAVE RYAN A HUG FIRST, THANKING HIM FOR COMING AND LETTING HIM KNOW HOW HONORED I WAS TO TRAVEL WITH HIM, HE INSISTED I COME BY AMERICAN GRAFFITI ON MY WAY HOME. I GAVE WRATH A HUG AND WE SAID SOME STUFF, IM NOT SURE WHAT, I WAS CHOKING BACK THE TEARS. THEN THEY WERE GONE, AND THE LEGENDARY WEEK OF MADNESS WAS OVER. I HEADED HOME WITH ALEX WITH A NUMB BRAIN, NOT REALLY THINKING STRAIGHT, STAYED UP ALL NIGHT SORTING PHOTOS AND EDITING VIDEO RELIVING A WEEK THAT WAS WITHOUT A DOUBT ONE OF THE BEST OF MY LIFE. BEING AROUND THESE GUYS IM NOW REFOCUSED, AND NOW I KNOW, I WANNA BE A FUCKING TATTOOER, I WANNA HANG OUT WITH WRATH AND ANDRE EVERYDAY. SO IM LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB IN TOWN ON WRATHS ADVICE, GOTTA BE IN EGYPT ON THE 6TH, BUT NEED THE MONEY FOR A FLIGHT…BACK IN THE CLUTCH, WHO BETTER TO PERFORM A MIRACLE THAN A SAINT…EDMOND IS FUCKIN BACK. LETS DO THIS SHIT.

JANUARY 29TH MMXII

FUCKING HELL! WHAT A WEEKEND. I LEARNED MORE ABOUT BEING A TATTOOER IN THREE DAYS THAN I EVER EXPECTED. FUCKIN AYE MAN I LOVE THAT THE GUYS ARE HERE, THEY TREAT ME LIKE FAMILY. WE WENT UP TO TABLE MOUNTAIN AND THAT WAS REALLY COOL, WE HIT GREEN MARKET SQUARE AND BOUGHT SOME SOUVENIRS AND GORDON WAS ASKING EVERYONE WHERE HE COULD FIND A BABOONS SKULL.  OUR HOSTEL WAS WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE OF THE CONVENTION, IT WAS REALLY NICE, WE SHARED A TRIPLE ROOM AND HAD A POOL & SHIT, BREAKFAST AND WE WERE ALL AMAZED TO PAY LESS THAN $40 A PIECE FOR THE WEEKEND. FRIDAY ALMOST IMMEDIATELY WE CLOSED SOME TATTOOS BEFORE A COUPLE PEOPLE I HUSTLED CAME THROUGH FROM OUTSIDE. WE STARTED AT 5 AND TATTOOED TILL THEY MADE US STOPPED, WE CLOSED THAT MOTHER FUCKER DOWN. I WAS BUSTIN MY ASS PLAYING APPRENTICE, MAKING STENCILS AND HUSTLING THE FUCK OUT OF PEOPLE, THEY WERE LINED UP AND WAITING FOR US WHILE LOTS OF THE OTHER TATTOOERS JUST SAT ON THEIR ASSES, WHILE MY FEET FUCKIN ACHED AND MY BALLS WERE SWEATY AND THE ONLY FOOD WE COULD AFFORD TO EAT WAS SNICKERS BARS AND RED BULLS TATTOOIN A MILE A MINUTE. MORE THAN A FEW PEOPLE COMMENTED THAT OUR BOOTH WAS THE BUSIEST, WHICH WAS JUST ABOUT THE  BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD AFTER ALL THE WORRY I PUT MYSELF THROUGH. WE ALL WENT OUT TO THE AFTER PARTY FRIDAY AND WATCHED SOME ROCKABILLY BAND BEFORE CASHING OUT EARLY SINCE NONE OF US HAD REALLY EATEN AND WE COULDN'T FIND A SPOT THAT WAS OPEN. SATURDAY WE HAD A DOWN TIME OF ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES, BESIDES THAT, WE HAD TATTOOS COMIN OUT OF OUR BOOTH LIKE PUNCHES FROM SUGAR-RAY. I PICKED UP A FEW AND GORDON LET ME KEEP 100%, FIRST TIME THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME. PRETTY FUNNY HOW YOU ONLY HAVE TO DO A COUPLE TATTOOS TO FILL UP YOUR POCKETS ON NO SPLIT, AFTER 3 I WAS FREAKIN THE FUCK OUT ABOUT HOW MUCH I HAD, AND I WAS TATTOOIN WITH SOME FUCKING HAMMERS, RYAN IS A REAL GOOD TATTOOER AND I WAS WATCHING HIM AND WRATH DRAW SHIT FROM NOTHIN ALL WEEKEND, I THINK THAT WAS ONE OF THE REASONS WE DID SO WELL, WE WERE DRAWING SHIT SO FAST AND EVERYONE ELSE WAS FUCKIN SLACKIN. PEOPLE ALSO LOVED THAT WE WERE FROM THE WEST COAST. WE HAD A GIRL COME IN SATURDAY MORNING WHO WAS A SEMI-FAMOUS SINGER FROM THE UK, SHE WAS REALLY HOT AND WAS DATING SOME MALE MODEL, GONNA VIST THOSE TWO AND SEE IF I CAN CAUSE SOME DOMESTIC TROUBLE IN THE LONDON. SATURDAY NIGHT WE ATE DINNER AT ABOUT MIDNIGHT BEFORE WRATH CASHED IT IN SO HE COULD MAKE AN EARLY MORNING TEN MILE RUN WHILE RYAN AND I WENT OUT TO THE AFTER PARTY AND PUT SOME DRINKS BACK, I RAN INTO THIS INDIAN OR SPANISH OR MIDDLE EASTERN OR SOMETHING CHICK THAT LOOKED JUST FUCKIN LIKE STAR FROM THE LOST BOYS, I WAS SPITTING GAME ALL NIGHT AND RYAN PLAYED KICK ASS WING MAN, IT WAS FUN. I REMEMBER WALKING IN WITH RYAN AND FEELING WEIRD, LIKE A STRANGE FEELING OF ACCOMPLISHMENT, I COULDN'T HEAR A THING THAT "STAR" SAID, HOPEFULLY SHE WILL REQUEST ME ON FACEBOOK SO I CAN SPIT SOME REAL GAME AND FIND OUT HER NAME, I SHIFTED FROM BEER TO SCOTCH ON THE ROCKS AND BEFORE WE KNEW IT, IT WAS 430 IN THE MORNING AND WE WERE CRASHIN OUT. WE WOKE UP EARLY AFTER WRATHS FUN AND WENT TO CHECK WITH SOME GUYS THAT WERE TRYING TO FIND US THAT BABOONS SKULL, NO LUCK, BACK TO THE CONVENTION, WE HAMMERED OUT QUITE A FEW TATTOOS, WRATH DID A FUCKIN AMAZING STRAIGHT RAZOR ON THIS BABER DUDES ARM, I WAS TRIPPIN. I WOULD HAVE BEEN ONE HELL OF A TATTOOER BY NOW IF I WOULDVE STAYED HOME, YET ANOTHER SACRIFICE IVE MADE FOR THIS DREAM, I GUESS ALL DREAMS REQUIRE SACRIFICE, THATS WHAT MAKES THEM WHAT THEY ARE. WE GOT SICK OF PEOPLE SUNDAY AFTERNOON, I THINK I DID THE MOST TATTOOS SUNDAY THEN WE JUST WALKED AROUND THE WATER FRONT AND FUCKED OFF AND COUNTED OUR MONEY, AFTER THE CONVENTION I WAS BACK UP TO ABOUT R10,000 FUCKING HELL! I MAY JUST GET TO HAVE A FEW BUCKS AFTER THE BOYS LEAVE! IF I HAVE 5K AFTER THEY LEAVE ILL BE FUCKING AMAZED. GOTTA GET UP TO GO ON FUCKIN SAFARI TOMORROW, IM EXCITED. RYAN SAID WE GOTTA DO SOME MEMORY HAND POKE TATTOOS SO WE BOUGHT SOME PORCUPINE QUILLS, MAN I HOPE THAT SHIT GOES DOWN, THAT WOULD BE SO FUN! IVE BEEN LAUGHING SO MUCH AND LEARNING FROM THESE GUYS, GOTTA ADMIT, ID SIT THROUGH THE LAST SHITTY COUPLE MONTHS TWICE TO HAVE THIS WEEK WITH THESE GUYS ANYTIME. I THINK I CAN DEFINITELY CALL RYAN A FRIEND NOW, HES FUNNY, AND RESERVED ISNT OUT TO IMPRESS ANYBODY AND IS SO GENUINE ITS CRAZY, HE IS THE REAL DEAL TATTOOER AND SOMEDAY I HOPE TO BE LIKE HIM UNDER WRATHS EYES. SO WE ARE LEAVING THE CONVENTION TRIUMPHANT, WITH HUGE KNOTS OF RANDS AND NOT ENOUGH ROOM IN OUR JEANS TO HOLD EM ALL, BOOTHS PAID OFF, FLIGHTS ARE PAID OFF, I GOT SOME MONEY, MADE SOME NEW FRIENDS, PUT THE WORD OUT IM LOOKING FOR A JOB AND NOW IN THE LAST 2 DAYS THE BOYS HAVE LEFT, WE ARE GONNA PUSH THE LIMITS WITH HOW MUCH WE CAN FUCKING CRAM IN.

JANUARY 27TH MMXII

TODAY IS FRIDAY, THE CONVENTION STARTS THIS EVENING. IM SO FUCKING STOKED. ME AND THE BOYS JUST TALK AND TALK AND TALK, UNTIL SOMEONE CASHES OUT AND GOES TO BED, ITS JUST LIKE HANGIN OUT AT THE TATTOO SHOP AGAIN. I FEEL MY BLOOD FILLING BACK UP WITH THAT SOMETHING IVE BEEN MISSING. YESTERDAY WE WOKE UP AT 430 TO DRIVE 2 HOURS TO HIT THE SHARKS PLACE, (SAME PLACE AS MATT DAMON, BRAD PITT AND MY BOY LEONARDO WENT) WE GOT THERE FIRST AT ABOUT 6AM AND ATE BREAKFAST AND WAITED FOR THE REST OF THE PEOPLE IN OUR GROUP. THERE WERE ABOUT 12 OF US, WE GOT SAFETY BRIEFED AND WARNED THAT WE WOULD BE LUCKY TO SEE ONE GREAT WHITE TODAY BEING THAT ITS WINTER. WE LOADED ON AN OLD FISHING BOAT WITH A TOP DECK AND A STEEL CAGE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE AND WE WERE ON OUR WAY. WE DROVE ABOUT 15 MINUTES AND ANCHORED IN WHILE THE DECK HANDS STARTED CHUMMING THE WATERS, ABOUT TEN MINUTES PASSED WHEN GORDON SPOTTED THE FIRST SHARK, THE GUIDES WERE RUSHING AROUND GETTING EVERYONE READY AND PUT US IN THE CAGE FIRST (A NOD TO HAWK-EYE MCCLOUD) IT WAS PRETTY UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE CAGE, IT WAS ABOUT 9 FEET DEEP AND WE PUT OUR KNEES ON A BAR BELOW THE WATER TO KEEP OUR HEADS OUT OF THE WATER, DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE CAGE WAS A LARGE GRAY FOAM PIECE THAT HAD SHARK TEETH MARKS RIGHT WHERE I COULD PLACE MY HANDS. WE WAITED IN THE WATER FOR ABOUT TEN MINUTES BEFORE OUR FIRST SHARK CAME. THE GUIDE YELLED "DOWN! DOWN! DOWN!" AND WITH A BIG GASP OF AIR RYAN, WRATH AND I (AND SOME OTHER WEIRDOS) DUCKED UNDER AND BETWEEN ALL THE SMALL FISH SAW OUR FIRST GREAT SHARK IN HIS NATURAL REALM. WHEN WE CAME UP FOR AIR WE WERE ALL THINKING: PAYDIRT, WE DIDNT GET SKUNKED, FUCKIN AWESOME. THEY LEFT US IN THE CAGE FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES AND WE SAW 3 BIG SHARKS, COMING REALLY CLOSE TO THE CAGE, GORDON GOT THE BEST VIEW FROM THE CORNER OF THE CAGE. ONE OF OUR BEST VIEWINGS WAS THE TROLL BAIT ZIPPING PAST THE CAGE HORIZONTALLY WITH A SHARK MUNCHING ON IT AS IT WENT PAST. THESE CREATURES WERE HUGE AND GRACEFUL, I DONT THINK ANY OF US EXPECTED IT TO BE LIKE IT WAS. I EXPECTED FEROCIOUS MONSTERS THAT IVE ALWAYS HAD NIGHTMARES ABOUT. I DONT THINK I WILL HAVE THOSE NIGHTMARES ANYMORE. GUESS I WILL HAVE DIFFERENT DROWNING NIGHTMARES FROM NOW ON. I LEARNED SOMETHING COOL FROM GORDON AND HIS FREE DIVING DAYS TOO…TO SPIT IN MY SCUBA MASK! I GUESS EVERYONE KNOWS THAT SHIT BUT I DIDNT AND ALL THIS TIME I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING FUCKIN FOGGY MASKS! CHANGES MY LIFE UNDERWATER! I LOVE IT! I RENTED A SMALL UNDERWATER CANON CAMERA WITH VIDEO AND SHOT SOME PRETTY GOOD SHIT, I THINK THE VIDEO IS GONNA BE FUCKIN RAD. IM READY TO FUCK THIS CONVENTION UP, IM GONNA HUSTLE SO HARD PEOPLE WONT KNOW WHAT HIT EM, GONNA PLAN ON HUSTLIN FOR THE BOYS TONIGHT AND SATURDAY TO HELP THEM PAY OFF THEIR FLIGHTS AND THE BOOTH AND MAYBE JUMP IN ON SUNDAY OR SOMETHING IF THERE IS WORK. THERE WILL BE, WE COULD SLAUGHTER THIS FUCKING TOWN WITH $20 NAMES AND JIVE TALK. OK, OFF TO TABLE MOUNTAIN, GREEN MARKET SQUARE AND OUR HOSTEL IN TOWN. GO!!!

JANUARY 25TH MMXII

GORDON AND RYAN GOT HERE LAST NIGHT, I WAS SO EXCITED JUST TO SEE WRATH AND GET TO MEET RYAN FOR THE FIRST TIME. WE STAYED UP AND TALKED FOR A COUPLE HOURS BEFORE WE ALL CASHED IT IN. JUST HEARING WRATH TELL ME TO DO WHAT I NEED TO IN ORDER TO BE HAPPY PRETTY MUCH PULLED ME OUT OF MY SLUMP. THEY CAMED ARMED WITH ALL KINDS OF ART AND T-SHIRTS AND WILD SHIT FOR US TO SLANG AT THE CONVENTION. ITS GONNA BE AN AWESOME BOOTH. I WAS ESPECIALLY HONORED TO HAVE MY NAME ON THE BANNER NEXT TO WRATHS AND RYANS, LIKE THE PRESSURE WASNT ENOUGH AS IT WAS RIGHT? IVE BEEN PARTICULARLY WORRIED ABOUT GETTING THEM ON A SCHEDULE SO THAT THEY CAN ENJOY OUR SHORT WEEK TOGETHER TO THE FULLEST. WRATH HAS BEEN ON ME A LITTLE TO SLOW THE DRINKING AND GENERAL DEBAUCHERY, OF ALL THE TIMES I HEAR IT FROM OTHERS, I TAKE IT TO HEART FROM HIM THE MOST, AND WANT TO DO MY BEST TO LET HIM KNOW THAT I LISTEN AND BELIEVE WHAT HE SAYS, MY PARTY DAYS ARE FAR FROM DONE, BUT I KNOW HES RIGHT IN THE END I GUESS. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AROUND 7 AND THE BOYS WERE ALREADY UP. WRATH TOOK A RUN AND IMMEDIATELY CAME BACK AFTER HE WAS GETTING "WEIRD LOOKS AND STARES" FROM THE BLACKS THAT WALK DOWN OUR STREET IN HORDES, ITS PART OF THE CULTURE HERE, HE JUST ISNT USED TO IT YET, HOPEFULLY I CAN HELP HIM TO RUN MORE BEFORE HE SPLITS. BY 8 WE WERE ON THE ROAD AND HEADED (RELUCTANTLY) TO THE TATTOO SHOP IN SIMONS TOWN, CHRIS HADNT OPENED BY 9 WHEN WE GOT THERE SO I GOT TO DODGE THAT BULLET…WE TOOK THE BOYS TO THE HEART OF SIMONS TOWN AND ENDED UP GOING TO THE BARBER AND GOT THEM BOTH CLEANED UP ALL PROPER WITH A OLD TIMEY STRAIGHT RAZOR TRIM THEN HEADED TO BOULDERS BEACH TO SEE THE PENGUINS, I WAS ALL SMILES JUST HANGING OUT AND TALKING WITH THESE GUYS BUT COULDN'T CONTROL MY LAUGHING ONCE WRATH STARTED DOING WAKY SHIT, FIRST, HE CLIMBED OVER THE FENCE TO STEAL A PENGUIN EGG, THEN WE DECIDED IT MUST BE ROTTEN IF IT WAS ABANDONED AND LEFT IT BEHIND. ON THE BEACH WE CLIMBED AROUND THE BOULDERS DISCOVERING PENGUINS AROUND EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY LAUGHING ABOUT HOW BAD ONE COULD FUCK YOU UP WITH THAT BEAK. WRATH STARTED CHASING THEM AROUND WHILE WE ALL LAUGHED. AFTER THE PENGUINS WE HEADED DOWN TO CAPE POINT, ID NEVER BEEN THERE AND WAS EXCITED TO STAND AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD, WE HIKED QUITE A WAYS IN THE HOT SUN, EARNING SUNBURNS AND BULLSHITING THE WHOLE WAY. ONCE WE MADE IT I HAD AN ODD FEELING AND AFTER PHOTOS DECIDED I WANTED TO THROW A FIVE RAND COIN INTO THE SEA AND MAKE A WISH OFF THE END OF THE WORLD, WE ALL MADE WISHES AND HIKED BACK. WE THEN WENT ON THE HUNT TO SEE SOME WILDLIFE AND ALMOST IMMEDIATELY FOUND SOME OSTRICHES ON THE WAY TO THE CAPE OF GOOD HOPE, WE GOT OUT AND I FILMED WHILE GORDON AND RYAN CHASED A BIG FEMALE, IT WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS AND THE WHOLE TIME I WAS HOPING NONE OF US WOULD GET FUCKING KICKED IN THE FACE OR PECKED TO DEATH. I KEPT THINKING BACK TO THE FENCES THAT HELD THEM IN THEIR CAGES IN VIETNAM AND HOW FUCKED UP THE CHAINLINK WAS AFTER THEY WOULD PECK AT IT A WHILE. AFTER THAT WE FOUND A BIG TROOP OF BABOONS AND A BIG ALPHA MALE CAME AND SAT ON A GARBAGE CAN RIGHT NEXT TO US FOR EVER LOOKING RIGHT INTO THE LENS OF MY CAMERA…IT WAS FUCKIN EXCELLENT. WE THEN GOT SOME HOEK AND CHIPS AND HAVE BEEN CHILLING SINCE, WRATH TOOK A NAP AROUND 5 AND CAME OUT BRIEFLY THEN WENT BACK TO BED. WEVE GOTTA BE UP TOMORROW AT 4 TO GET TO THE SHARK DIVE PLACE BY 6 TOMORROW, ITS GONNA BE A LONG DAY OF PETTING FUCKIN GREAT WHITES MOTHER FUCKS…CANT WAIT! IF WE GET EATEN, WELL THIS WOULD BE MY LAST POST, SO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS…ESPECIALLY YOUR FUCKIN NIGHTMARES.

JANUARY 24TH MMXII

LAST WEEK SUCKED, I WAS SICK AND MADE NEXT TO NOTHING AGAIN ALL DAMN WEEK. THE SNOW HIT HOME PRETTY HARD AND AS SOON AS I REALIZED HOW GNARLY IT WAS I STARTED TO WORRY ABOUT WRATH ACTUALLY GETTING OUT OF THERE. SATURDAY ALEX, ANETTE, KELLI AND MYSELF PLAYED TEXAS HOLD-EM AND GOT FUCKING HAMMERED. SUNDAY MORNING I GOT A MESSAGE FROM WRATH SAYING THINGS WERE A BIT BETTER AND HE WOULD DECIDE WHETHER HE WAS GONNA BE ABLE TO COME. HE WAS DEALING WITH NO POWER, FROZEN KIDDIES AND A TREE THREATENING HIS NEW HOUSE, ALONG WITH THE SHOP BEING CLOSED FOR 3 DAYS. I WAS STRESSING FOR HIM, BUT KEEPING A POSITIVE ATTITUDE. LATER SUNDAY I GOT A FOUR WORD EMAIL: POWERS ON, IM COMING. SO AS OF NOW, HE IS IN THE AIR AND IM PICKING HIM UP IN 13 AND A HALF HOURS. I DONT KNOW IF IM MORE EXCITED TO SEE MY GOOD FRIEND AND MAKE A NEW ONE IN RYAN, OR IF IM MORE THRILLED TO NOT HAVE TO BE LOCKED IN THE SKINCORE SHITHOLE FOR A WHOLE WEEK! CHRIS IS GETTING MORE AND MORE WEIRD, YESTERDAY I CLOSED THE SHOP EARLY AS IT WAS DEAD AND GOT A TEXT THAT HE TOOK 2 CUSTOMERS HOME AND TATTOOED THEM SINCE I CLOSED EARLY, HE ALSO MADE SURE TO INFORM ME THAT HIS "FRIEND" WAS GETTING TATTOOED IN THE MORNING AS WELL. IM ABOUT OVER ALL THIS BACKWARDS SHIT, THIS IS ALL HIS PREROGATIVE BUT STILL, IF IM ONLY HEARING THE 50% THAT HE IS TELLING ME, WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON? HE ISNT SUPPLYING THE SHOP WITH THE SUPPLIES I NEED AND ITS DEAD AND IM NOT SURE WHY. IM GONNA GET WRATHS OPINION ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION AND MAKE A JUDGEMENT AFTER HE IS GONE ABOUT WHAT WILL BE THE BEST FOR ME, REGARDLESS OF ANY COMMITMENTS IVE MADE TO CHRIS. BRADLY (A PAST TATTOOER HERE AT THE SHOP) STOPED IN YESTERDAY, HE IS FROM ZIMBABWE AND RECENTLY OPENED A SHOP THERE THAT IS DOING WELL.  I GOT AN OFFICIAL INVITATION TO COME WORK WITH HIM FOR A WHILE, WHICH IS TOTALLY EXCITING. HE SHOWED ME PHOTOS OF THE SHOP, ITS ALL AFRICAN THEMED AND HAS A GRASS ROOF…ITS FUCKING AWESOME. CHRIS WANTS ME TO BRING THE BOYS BY THE SHOP SO HE CAN GET A PHOTO OF US TO HANG IN HERE, DONT KNOW IF IM WILLING TO PUT THE GUYS THROUGH THAT. ONE, IM EMBARRASSED TO WORK HERE, TWO, IM SO PISSED OFF WITH CHRIS I SIT AND DRED IF HE WILL EVEN COME IN. HEARING HIM GIVE THE WHOLE RIDICULOUS SPEAL TO MY FRIENDS MIGHT JUST PUSH ME OVER THE EDGE. ALL I KNOW, IS AFTER DEPOSITS AND PREP FOR THE BOYS, IVE ALREADY SPENT 5000 RAND OF THE R15000 I HAD SAVED, FUCK IT, ITS ALL GONNA BE GONE AND WHILE IM BLOWING IT HAVING A GREAT TIME WITH MY FRIENDS IM NOT GONNA SWEAT WHAT THE FUTURE WILL BRING ONE MINUTE. ITS GONNA BE A GREAT LITTLE VACATION FROM MY DAILY TRIP ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK IM GONNA DO NEXT. I HAVE A FEELING THAT THE GUYS ARE GONNA WANT ME TO BE TATTOOING WITH THEM, I REALLY WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT THEY MAKE AT LEAST A LITTLE BACK AGAINST WHAT THEYVE SPENT, I ALSO AS USUAL AM TOTALLY INTIMIDATED TO BE TATTOOING AROUND HAMMERS LIKE WRATH AND RYAN, LET ALONE THESE OTHER THUGS AT THE CONVENTION. ILL PROBABLY TATTOO JUST TO SAY I DID IT, AND IF IM LUCKY, POCKET A FEW RAND MYSELF. CANT WAIT TO KEEP YOU UPDATED ON OUR ADVENTURES, THIS NEXT WEEK IS GONNA BE NOTHING LESS THAN AMAZING. 

JANUARY 18TH MMXII

THIS WEEK HAS BEEN A FILTHY BITCH. IM BEING TESTED, OR FORCED TO EARN MY TIME WITH THE AMERICAN BOYS. ONLY  A COUPLE DAYS LEFT NOW. THE PLAGUES OF SOUTH AFRICA FINALLY GOT TO ME AFTER ALL THESE MONTHS…EVERYONE HAS BEEN SICK AND IVE AVOIDED IT TILL ONE FUCKING WEEK BEFORE WRATH SHOWS UP, CHRIS CAME IN COMPLAINING AND PUTTING HIS FILTHY HANDS ON EVERYTHING. CUNT. MY PRIDE IS ALWAYS A LITTLE HURT THAT SOME TINY ORGANISM HAS THE POWER TO TAKE ME OUT. IM FUCKING FRUSTRATED AND FEEL LIKE IM DYING PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY. THE CIRCUMSTANCES IM IN LATELY IS FILLING ME UP WITH FIRE. IVE BEEN BOOKING THE STUFF FOR THE BOYS AND I TO DO AND IM JUST WATCHING MY HUGE ROLL OF 200 RAND NOTES JUST DWINDLE INTO NOTHING AND ITS MAKING ME SUPER CONCERNED ABOUT MY SISTER AND FEDERICO COMING DOWN, DONT KNOW THAT I CAN AFFORD TO GET OUT OF THIS COUNTRY AND HAVE ALL THESE VISITORS BUT AT THE SAME TIME NOTHING WOULD PLEASE ME MORE. SIGH. I CANT WAIT TO SEE WRATH, HE ALWAYS PUTS THE WORLD INTO PERSPECTIVE FOR ME SOMEHOW, SAME WAY MY FOLKS DO BUT WITH MORE "FUCK IT." IVE DONE 2 TATTOOS THIS WEEK SO FAR, POCKETED ABOUT $120 BUCKS, ITS BEEN UNUSUALLY SLOW THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS, TODAY I GOT A BIT OF A LEAD ON WHY, CHRIS CAME IN TO PICK UP SOME FLASH WITH A CUSTOMER AND EXPLAINED HE DIDNT HAVE "LEKKER" MONEY AND THAT HE WAS GONNA TATTOO HIM AT HOME. PRETTY WEIRD IF YOU ASK ME, THAT HE WOULDN'T TATTOO SOMEONE AT HIS OWN SHOP. SECOND, HE TOLD ME TO GIVE ROXANNE THE WEEK ILL BE WITH WRATH OFF SO THAT HE WONT "FIGHT" WITH HER. SUPER WEIRD. HE IS IN THE SHOP ABOUT TEN MINUTES A DAY TO SEE IF HE CAN PICK UP ANY MONEY, WHEN I USUALLY ASK FOR SUPPLIES THAT HE NEVER DELIVERS SO I HAVE TO BUY FOOD NAPKINS FOR PAPER TOWELS AND RAZORS FROM THE MUSLIM PLACE NEXT DOOR. THE WHOLE THING WITH THIS SHOP JUST GETS SHADIER AND SHADIER. IM FEELING LIKE IM READY TO MOVE ON. HES BEEN SPINNING LIES SINCE THE BEGINNING, PLAYING PEOPLE AGAINST PEOPLE TO STAY IN CONTROL OF THE RELATIONSHIPS AROUND HIM, HES GOING THROUGH SOME SHIT WITH HIS WOMAN CALLING THE COPS ON HER AND TRYING TO TAKE THE BABY, OVER HER GOING OUT ON ALL NIGHT DRINKING BINGES, AND GETTING THE DOCTORS TO FEED HER ANTI DEPRESSANTS…ITS FUCKING WEIRD. CREEPY, I CANT EVEN EXPRESS THE HALF OF IT IN WRITING. TOP IT OFF WITH LITTLE RICHARD (THE OLD APPRENTICE) RUNNING HIS MOUTH ABOUT JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING, IM ABOUT DONE WITH THESE RELATIONSHIPS HERE IN CAPE TOWN, MIGHT BE TIME FOR ME TO SPLIT. I APPLIED FOR A JOB IN CYPRUS, I WONT GET IT, THEYRE LOOKING FOR A TATTOOER APRIL-OCTOBER, I OFFERED UP ONE MONTH ANYWAY TO SEE. I KEEP SEEING THE GENERAL FROM BLOOD DIAMOND TELLING LEONARDO DICAPRIO "YOULL NEVER LEAVE AFRICA" IN MY HEAD PLAY OVER AND OVER AGAIN. OK, ENOUGH NEGATIVE BULLSHIT, HERE IS THE POSITIVE STUFF TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

WRATH AND RYAN WILL BE HERE IN ONLY 6 DAYS!

IM RE-WRITING SOME LETTERS TO SOME PEOPLE, I CALL THEM MY EULOGY LETTERS IN MY HEAD, BUT IM GONNA REALLY TRY AND SEND THESE OFF THIS TIME AND LET THE PEOPLE I LOVE KNOW HOW SPECIAL THEY ARE TO ME, BEFORE WE ARE ALL DEAD. SO MANY THINGS ARE LEFT UNSAID BECAUSE OF THE BELIEF THERE IS PLENTY OF THE ILLUSION OF TIME. GOD DAMN IT IM GONNA GET IT DONE AND GIVE THESE PEOPLE BACK WHAT THEYVE GIVING ME. I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD DO THIS.

GOALS.

SOME THINGS END UP IN ZIGGY, NEVER TO BE SEEN BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING, IVE DECIDED TO PUT THIS DOWN IN THE BLOG SO WE CAN LOOK BACK AND UNDERSTAND WHERE MY HEAD IS. AS FAR AS GOALS GO, IVE ALWAYS THOUGHT TOO BIG, AND I KNOW IT, BUT THINKING BIG HAS GOT ME THIS FUCKIN FAR IN MY LIFE, CANT REALLY STOP NOW.

APRIL AND BEYOND: 

TATTOO WITH MOOG IN PORT ELISABETH ZA

VISIT FRIENDS IN PRETORIA AND JOBURG ZA

TATTOO WITH BRADLEY IN ZIMBABWE

EGYPT WITH LAURA

ISREAL

TURKEY

GREECE

LAND IN THE UK WITH NOTHING, WORK ON THE POUND AND CONTINUE TRAVELS

MOSCOW

NORWAY

BROOKLYN

SOUTH CAROLINA

NASHVILLE

LOUISIANA 

ROUTE HOME VIA TEXAS, HITCH HIKING IF POSSIBLE

HOME-COMING BINGE DRINKING THROWDOWN

DISAPPEAR FOR A COUPLE WEEKS INTO THE NORTH AT THE FAMILY CABIN 

JANUARY 13TH MMXII

WHAT I WANT IS IMMATERIAL. I WANT TO GO HOME BUT WANTING SOMETHING NOW WOULD BE TO SACRIFICE MY VISION. IM NOT WILLING TO FINISH BEFORE IM DONE, TO REACH THAT MOMENT WHERE I FEEL LIKE I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED WHAT I SET OUT TO DO, I NEED AS MANY MILES BETWEEN ME AND MY HOME AS POSSIBLE. AND WHEN I REACH THE STATES, ILL STACK THEM UP THERE TOO, WITH NEW ENTHUSIASM, WITH NEW VIEWS ON MY HOME COUNTRY. TO BE SOMEWHERE WITHOUT SWEATING A VISA SEEMS LIKE A VACATION TO ME. I CANT FUCKING WAIT, BUT BEFORE THEN, BEFORE THE COMFORTS OF HOME I MUST CONTINUE MY TIRELESS JOURNEY TO COMPLETE THE DREAM I SET OUT TO DREAM. MORE THAN ONCE SINCE I SET OUT IVE FALLIN INTO THIS TRAVELING DEPRESSION…ITS VERY STRANGE, IM ABROAD, EXPERIENCING NEW AND EXCITING THINGS, BUT ILL DRINK AND SULK AND FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF LIKE IM AT HOME. I SUPPOSE ITS PART OF BEING AWAY FOR SO LONG. PASSING THE YEAR MARK FEELS LIKE STARTING OVER, SINCE I LEFT IVE THOUGHT: I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT FOR A YEAR, NOW THAT IVE PASSED THAT GOAL I FEEL LIKE IM STARTING OVER…ONE YEAR ONE DAY, ONE YEAR TWO DAYS ETC…IT WEARS ME OUT, IM CONSTANTLY STRESSED ABOUT MONEY TOO, HAVING A TIME LIMIT IN A PLACE YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO LEAVE WITH MONEY MAKES SHIT DIFFICULT AND WEIGHS ON ME DAILY.  IM SURE AFTER A WEEK OF TOURING AROUND WITH WRATH AND RYAN A BIG CHUNK OF MY SAVINGS WILL BE GONE. MY LOVELY COUSIN FORTUNATELY "DONATED" $500 TO MAKE SURE I MAKE IT TO EGYPT…HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THAT.  IM CONSTANTLY WONDERING IF ANYONE BACK HOME REMEMBERS ME OR IF THEY GET WHAT IM TRYING TO DO (WHATEVER THAT IS) AND HAVING JULIE JUST UP AND OUT OF THE BLUE SEND ME THAT MUCH MONEY IS PRETTY FUCKING AMAZING…IM GONNA TRY AND BUY HER SOME KIND OF ANTIQUE JEWELRY WHILE IM IN CAIRO, NOT TO MENTION SOMETHING FOR ME…IVE ALWAYS WANTED A BIG ASS RING FROM THE TIMES OF THE PHAROS OR SOMETHING. IT WOULD BE REALLY FUN TO SAY, YEAH I PICKED THAT SHIT UP IN CAIRO FROM A MAN WITH ONE DEAD EYE AND A RASPY VOICE. ANYWAY…TALKED WITH HEIDI TODAY ON FACEBOOK, ITS THE FIRST REAL CONVERSATION THAT WE HAVE HAD SINCE IVE LEFT HOME, ITS BEEN ALL ONE SIDED EMAILS SINCE THEN, TO ACTUALLY HAVE A INTERNET CHAT WAS QUITE THE TREAT, IT WAS FULL OF FLIRTING AND EXAMINING WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON IN EACH OF OUR LIVES, I WAS TOTALLY THRILLED TO TALK WITH HER, IT MADE MY DAY. IT ALSO CONFIRMED HOW INSANE IT IS THAT IVE NEVER SLEPT WITH HER, I GUESS ITS HONORABLE THAT I HAVENT TURNED IT INTO THE AVERAGE MEANINGLESS WILD WET SEX MARATHON FULL OF KINKY CHARACTERS AND MADNESS…I GUESS THAT MEANS I REALLY LIKE HER, AND THEREFORE AM RISKING MY MANTRA…IM NOT A VICTIM YET, SO SHUT YOUR MOUTH. BUT STILL, ITS HARD TO FLIRT WITH A DREAMY BITCH LIKE HEIDI AND NOT DREAM ABOUT FUCKING THE GHOST OUT OF HER. AFTER A LAME FRIDAY AFTER A LONG WEEK OF NEARLY NO TATTOOS I GOT TO TALK WITH MY FOLKS FOR A GOOD LONG CONVERSATION. WE TALK EVERY FRIDAY, BUT THIS ONE WAS SPECIAL FOR SOME REASON, I TOLD THEM I WAS HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME WITH EVERYTHING, JUST EXPRESSING THAT TO SOMEONE REALLY LIFTS MY SPIRITS, MY PARENTS, IN THEIR INFINITE WISDOM WERE ABLE TO IDENTIFY WITH AND RESOLVE ANY FEELINGS OF DOUBT IVE HAD, I TOLD THEM STRAIGHT…FUCK GUYS, IT WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER TO BE HOME…TO WHICH THEY REPLIED, YORK, YOULL ALWAYS HAVE A PARACHUTE, CONTINUE TILL YOURE FINISHED.  FUCKING HELL, WHO IN THE WIDE WORLD HAS BEEN BLESSED WITH PEOPLE IN THEIR LIVES LIKE I HAVE? NO ONE, EVER. MY DAD AND I KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE ILIAD, I TOLD HIM ABOUT THE QUOTE FROM THETIS TO ACHILLES, TO WHICH HE ANSWERED: THATS PERFECT, IT HAS ALL KINDS OF DEPTH AND RELATES TO THE HOMERIC HERO QUALITIES WE ALL ENJOY. THE CONVERSATION EVOLVED BACK INTO OUR INTEREST IN ARISTOTLE (MY HEROES TUTOR) AND HOW I NEED TO READ THE RHETORIC SO WE CAN DISCUSS IT, AFTER READING THE PRINCE HE IS INSISTENT THAT WE BE ABLE TO DISCUSS IT, SO AFTER I FINISH THE ILIAD AND THE ODYSSEY, I CANT WAIT TO READ IT HONESTLY, FOR SOME REASON IM HELL BENT ON READING THE FUCKING CLASSICS. I FIGURE ITS GOOD FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND THAT END OF LITERATURE. ITS 11 DAYS TILL MY BOYS GET TO CAPE TOWN AND IVE BEEN SCHEMING WITH ALEX ABOUT WHAT EACH DAY WILL HOLD…DAY ONE: CAPE OF GOOD HOPE, THE PENGUINS, AND KHYALITCHA THE SUPER BIG "DISTRICT 9 STYLE" CAMP. DAY TWO: SHARK CAGE DIVING. DAY THREE: TABLE MOUNTAIN AND CONVENTION. DAY FOUR: CONVENTION FULL DAY. THEN AFTER THAT IM TRYING TO ARRANGE A FULL NIGHT AT ONE OF THE GAME PARKS IN TENTS…WE WILL HAVE TO SEE. ANYWAY, ITS BEEN A WEIRD COUPLE WEEKS, AFTER WRATH AND RYAN ARE HERE AND GONE ILL HAVE TO START CHASING TAIL AGAIN, HOPEFULLY THERE IS ONE OR TWO GIRLS THAT DONT CARRY THE FUCKING LOVE KNIFE WITH THEM THAT I CAN ACTUALLY HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH. SO FUCK IT…GONNA MAKE SOME FUCKING MONEY THIS NEXT WEEK AND FUND MY MISSIONS WITH THE AMERICAN BOYS. NEXT VIDEO IS CERTAIN TO BE AMAZING…CANT WAIT TO EDIT THAT FUCKING FOOTAGE, NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO PICKING MUSIC FOR IT…WHAT IN THE WORLD COULD EMBODY 3 AMERICAN TATTOOERS IN SOUTH AFRICA?????

JANUARY 9TH MMXII

IM TIRED. PASSING THE YEAR MARK I THINK IS STARTING TO WEIGH ON ME, I FINALLY SUBMITTED TO THE THOUGHTS OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WHEN I CAME HOME. IVE GIVIN WRATH AND MY FRIENDS LAURA AND BEN A ROUGH IDEA OF SEPTEMBER...IN ORDER TO WORK AND OFFICIATE A WEDDING.  JUST THAT SIMPLE FACT IS STRESSING ME OUT. IM TIRED OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS AND THE FACT THAT MONEY RULES MY LIFE. YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE EITHER. SIGH. I DETERMINED TODAY THAT THE ONLY REASON IVE NEVER COMMITTED SUICIDE IS BECAUSE OF THE GUILT I COULD IMAGINE MY MOTHER WOULD HAVE, I COULD NEVER FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT THINKING THAT SHE WOULD QUESTION IF IT WAS HER FAULT, AND MY FATHER, THE CONSTANT QUESTIONING OF WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN WOULD DRIVE HIM INTO A DARK PLACE AND I DONT THINK HE COULD LVIE THE SAME AGAIN. WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER I REASONED THAT I DIDNT DO IT BECAUSE OF MY GRANDPARENTS, NOW ITS MY PARENTS. IM OLDER NOW AND AM STARTING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY FOLKS. I FUCKING MISS HOME, I MISS THE PEOPLE THAT DONT TRY AND UNDERMINE ME FOR THEIR OWN FUCKING MOTIVES. CHRIS, RICHARD...ALL THIS SHIT WEIGHS ON ME AND JUST FLAT WEARS ME OUT AND MAKES ME LOSE FAITH IN HUMANITY, WHICH IN TURN MAKES ME WANT TO DESTROY THE FUCKING WORLD. I MISS HEIDI, I MISS MY MAMA & PAPA, I FUCKING MISS ITALY, I JUST WANT TO GO BACK AND FIND A JOB AND DISAPPEAR FOREVER AND FORGET ALL ABOUT AMERICA AND MY MENTAL ISSUES. FUCKING HELL, IVE BEEN HAVING DREAMS ABOUT MY DARK ANGEL, POINTING NORTH TELLING ME TO GET OUT OF SOUTH AFRICA. ITS FUCKING KILLING ME. LITERALLY, I DONT TALK ABOUT IT MUCH BECAUSE I WANT YOU AS MY READER TO BELIEVE I AM INVINCIBLE, BUT FACT IS, IM A MESS, AND HAVE BEEN SINCE I LEFT. I COULD BARLEY BREATHE FOR THE FIRST 3 MONTHS IN SINGAPORE, THERE IS A LONG LIST OF HEALTH ISSUES ILL ONLY REVEAL IN MY BOOK IF I EVER WRITE IT. BUT TODAY, MORE IMPORTANTLY, IM WHEEZING CONSTANTLY, MY LIVER HURTS INTERMITTENTLY, I HAVE WEIRD RUST COLORED SPOTS ON MY RIGHT HAND, MY RIGHT WRIST IS (I CAN ONLY ASSUME) SHATTERED, AND I HAVE SOME WEIRD SORE IN MY MOUTH THAT I ANXIOUSLY THINK IS FUCKING CANCEROUS FROM CHEWING. IM DRINKING A BOTTLE OF WINE, OR HALF BOTTLE OF BOURBON A NIGHT AND SMOKE A PACK AND A HALF A DAY. IM IN A DARK PLACE, RICHARD IS GOING AROUND SELLING ALL KINDS OF LIES ABOUT ME, STARTING FIGHTS WITH OTHER TATTOOERS, AND JUST BEING AN IDIOT CHILD, I HAVENT HEARD ANYTHING FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF HOME AFFAIRS YET AND IM STRESSED, MY VISITORS VISA EXPIRES ON THE 16TH. I HAVE A FEELING I MAY HAVE TO LEAVE AFTER THE CONVENTION AFTER WRATH HAS COME AND GONE. I SENT AN EMAIL TO DARRYL AT DIAMOND JACKS IN BRIGHTON, ENGLAND, A FRIEND THROUGH ASSOCIATION OF WRATHS, JUST TO SEE IF I CAN NETWORK, I COULD NEVER TATTOO THERE, THAT SHOP IS LEGENDARY AND HAS NO ROOM FOR A BEGINNER LIKE ME, BUT STILL, EVERY CONTACT COUNTS. ONE OF THE REASONS IM IN THIS DARK PLACE IS BECAUSE IM IN A FUCKING ROUTINE, I DONT HAVE ANYONE TO PARTY WITH THEREFORE I HAVE NO FEMALE PROSPECTS IN MY LIFE WHICH KILLS A MAN LIKE ME, WHATS THE POINT IN BEING AN OBNOXIOUS SUPER-HUMAN WITH OUT FEMALE PROSPECTS??? IM ALSO PISSED THAT I CANT FUCK ANY COLORED GIRLS WITHOUT BEING JUDGED BY EVERYONE. WHAT BULLSHIT. I FUCKING LOVE COLORED GIRLS. NOTHING EXCITES ME MORE THAN HAVING QUARTER BLACK ILLEGITIMATE CHILDREN THAT I DONT KNOW ABOUT. IVE MET MORE THAN A COUPLE THAT ARE JUST FUCKING SMOKING HOT, BUT IF I BRING IT UP AMOUNG THE WHITES THEY REPLY WITH: "DISGUSTING!" DONT THEY UNDERSTAND THAT ITS THAT VERY ATTITUDE THAT MAKES ME WANT TO BED THEM MORE. YESTERDAY ALEX, ANNETTE, KELLI-ANN AND I WENT TO THE CANAL WALK MALL, WHICH IS FUCKING HUGE, LIKE THE MALL OF AMERICA OR SOMETHING...I BOUGHT SOME NEW SHORTS AND A COUPLE OF T SHIRTS, COULDNT FIND A GOD DAMN GENTLEMANS HAT BUT STILL, JUST BEING ABLE TO WEAR SHORTS THAT ARENT STAINED WITH INK OR TORN OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER. AFTER THE MALL WE WENT UP TO ANNETTES FAMILIES FARM ON THE NORTHERN CAPE, IT WAS JUST LIKE EASTERN WASHINGTON WITH ROLLING WHEAT FIELDS AND HORSES AND CATTLE, IT WAS DRY AND HOT AS ALL FUCK I WAS EXCITED TO GET OUT TO THE STICKS. WE BRAAIED AND ATE FRESH SNOOK AND THEY WERE FEEDING ME LIQUOR LIKE IT WAS GOING OUT OF STYLE...I LEFT PRETTY DRUNK AND GOT AN INVITATION TO GO FISHING WITH ANNETTES UNCLE, SOMETHING I SURELY PLAN TO TAKE HIM UP ON. I NEED TO TALK TO SOME FRIENDS AND CHEER MYSELF UP, I MISSED A DATE WITH ROB, I NEED TO CALL WRATH AND CALL LAURA AGAIN...ALL OF WHOM CAN MAKE EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT. LIKE LAURA SAID TO ME BEFORE: YOULL HAVE UPS, YOULL HAVE DOWNS YORKATRON...BUTS ITS ALL ROCK N ROLL.

GOD DAMN...I SHOULD BLESS THAT WOMAN WITH MY BASTARD CHILD.

JANUARY 3RD MMXII

DECEMBER 29TH MMXI

OK, I LIED, THIS IS THE LAST BLOG POST OF 2011 AND ITS FUCKING FITTING, ONE YEAR EXACTLY SINCE I BEGAN THIS BLOG. IF THE END OF THE WORLD DOESNT COME, WHICH WE SURELY HOPE IT WILL, THEN I WANTED TO KNOW HOW LONG I MAY HAVE, SO I FIXED THIS UP. IN THE FOLLOWING EQUATION I WORKED OUT WHILE I WAS DRINKING SCOTCH AND WATCHING OBSCURE ROMANTIC COMEDIES AT THE HOUSE, I LEFT OUT QUITE A BIT, LIKE RED LIGHTS, DEATHS OF LOVED ONES, ARGUMENTS WITH GIRLFRIENDS, AND BLACK OUTS BUT THE POINT IS, THAT THIS IS THE REALITY OF LIFE AND I REALLY WANTED TO BE ABLE TO SEE IT IN BLACK & WHITE, A SIMPLE FUCKED UP EQUATION THAT WOULD LET ME KNOW THAT NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY AND MASK IT, YOU'RE GONNA DIE…MUCH, MUCH, MUCH SOONER THAN YOU'LL EVER FUCKING THINK. I ENCOURAGE YOU, MY WONDERFUL AND LITERATE READER TO MAKE YOUR OWN EQUATION AND BOIL IT DOWN TO A NUMBER YOU CAN FUCKING CARRY WITH YOU, SUBTRACTING A DAY AS YOU CARRY ON.

AVERAGE WHITE AMERICAN MALES LIFE EXPECTANCY AGED 33 YEARS IS 47.4 ADDITIONAL YEARS, SO LETS SAY 80.

ADD 10 YEARS FOR BEING A SANDIFER, 90

SUBTRACT 7 YEARS FOR SMOKING 83

SUBTRACT 7 FOR HEAVY DRINKING 76

MINUS 10 FOR DRUGS 66 YEARS

MULTIPLY BY DAYS IN THE YEAR: 24,090

MULTIPLY BY 24 HOURS, 578,160

SUBTRACT HOURS SPENT SLEEPING AS (7) 192,720

TOTAL: 385,440

EQUALS DAYS: 16,060

33 YEARS OLD EQUALS 12,045 DAYS

EQUALS 4,015 DAYS REMAINING UNTIL MY NATURAL DEATH…NATURAL.

DECEMBER 28TH MMXI

MY LAST POST OF 2011, IT FEELS VERY STRANGE TO THINK THAT MY FIRST POST WAS TOMORROW ONE YEAR AGO, FUCK I HAVE DONE A LOT OF SHIT. WHEN YOURE ABROAD YOU HAVE TO GIVE A GENERAL IDEA TO PEOPLE ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE FROM, TACOMA BECOMES SEATTLE, OR SEATTLE BECOMES THE WEST COAST. IVE BEEN MISSING THE WEST COAST AND RESENTING THE THINGS I REALLY HATE ABOUT MY COUNTRY. I REALLY DONT WANT TO GO HOME TO THE RIDICULOUS RACISMS OR THE ENTIRE ARROGANT IM AMERICAN BULLSHIT, I DONT WANT TO HAVE THOSE SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS WITH REPUBLICANS OR EVER ARGUE MY SOCIALIST BELIEFS WITH ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER, MY COUNTRY IS SICK AND THE LONGER I HAVE BEEN GONE THE MORE I CAN SEE. ITS FRUSTRATING AS I STILL MISS HOME WITH ALL MY HEART, I MISS MY MOM AND DAD AND ALL MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS…SOMEDAYS ARE MUCH HARDER THAN OTHERS, AND THIS DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS I HAVE TO ADMIT IM HAVING A ROUGH TIME. I WATCHED THAT BRAD PITT MOVIE MONEYBALL AND WATCHING BASEBALL AND SEEING THE WESTCOAST OF AMERICAN MADE ME REALLY NOSTALGIC. I MISS BASEBALL, I MISS PEANUTS, FUCK MAN I MISS MY BED AND MY JEEP. I MISS THE TOP OF TACOMA, MY LOCAL BAR THAT LOVES ME, I MISS DRIVING AND SMOKING CIGARETTES ON MY WAY TO WORK OR TO VISIT FRIENDS. IVE LONG FEARED THAT ILL LOSE THE PEOPLE I LOVE MOST WHILE IM GONE. I FEAR THE MOMENT WHEN ILL HAVE TO CONFRONT THE DEATH OF MY MOTHER AND FATHER. SOMETIMES I FEEL AN ACHE IN MY CHEST WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT. IM ALREADY HAUNTED BY THE GHOSTS OF THE PEOPLE IVE ALREADY LOST, I FEAR WHAT ITS GONNA BE LIKE WHEN IM LEFT ALONE WHICH WONT BE LONG NOW; IN THOSE STILL MOMENTS I WILL LIVE WITH THE REGRETS OF MY PAST AND OF THE THINGS THAT COULDVE BEEN. AS YOU CAN TELL MY MIND HAS BEEN A BIT BUSY, THINKING AND DRINKING TOO MUCH. IVE REACHED THAT 3 MONTH STAGE HERE IN CAPE TOWN WHERE SHIT WILL START TO WEIGH ON ME AND THE DRAMA OF BEING INVOLVED WITH OTHER HUMANS WILL START TO COMPLICATE MY LIFE. IF GOT 15000 RAND, ABOUT $1800 USD, I HAVE THE ABILITY TO LEAVE AT THIS POINT BUT NOT WITHOUT SACRIFICE AND IM TOO GOD DAMN STUBBORN TO SHORTEN MY LIST OF FUTURE EXPERIENCES FOR 2012, SOMETIMES ITS REALLY TOUGH BEING ME, I JUST WISH I COULD BE NORMAL AND GO HOME, START A FAMILY AND BUILD A WHITE PICKET FENCE, BELIEVE IN GOD AND TURN REPUBLICAN AND CHOOSE TO BE BLINDED TO REAL LIFE. BUT IM YORKATRON AND FOR ALL THE GOOD THINGS I WAS BLESSED WITH I GUESS I HAVE TO ACCEPT THE OVER-THOUGHTS AND MULTI-DIMENSIONAL VISION. ANYWAY, IM LISTENING TO LOUIS PRIMA AND TRYING TO CHEER MYSELF UP, NEW YEARS IS THIS WEEKEND AND I REALLY DONT WANT TO GET DRAGGED AROUND TO BARS, I REALLY HATE THIS FUCKING HOLIDAY, IVE ONLY ENJOYED THE ONES IVE SAT AT HOME WITH MY PHONE OFF AND WATCHED FILMS. I NEED TO GO TO THE BLOODY BEACH, THAT SHOULD CHEER ME UP, I HAVENT BEEN YET AND THATS A FUCKING SHAME. ITLL BE COOL TO SWIM AT A BEACH WHERE GREAT WHITES HAVE EATEN PEOPLE. THE HOLIDAY SEASON HERE IS FULL OF TOURISTS AND IM MAKING PLENTY OF MONEY WHICH CHEERS ME RIGHT UP, BUT FOR AS LONG AS IVE BEEN HERE I HAVENT DONE SHIT AND I GUESS IM FRUSTRATED ABOUT THAT, BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM SAVING THE SHARKS, TABLE MOUNTAIN, CAPE POINT ETC FOR WHEN RYAN AND WRATH COME DOWN. IM TRYING REALLY HARD TO SET APPOINTMENTS FOR RYAN AND WRATH  AND REALIZING THAT I KNOW NEXT TO NO ONE SO IM TRYING TO TAKE THE TATTOOS THAT IM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH AND SPINNING THEM INTO THE CONVENTION…SO FAR IM NOT DOING SO WELL. ONE OF THE REASONS IM A BIT PISSY IS THAT RICHARD (THE OLD APPRENTICE) IS RUNNING AROUND TOWN AND FLAPPING HIS MOUTH, ITS PISSING ME OFF SO I HAD A TALK WITH HIM THE OTHER DAY AND FELT GOOD ABOUT IT, IMMEDIATELY AFTER HE TOOK MY BOSS ASIDE AND TOLD HIM I GOT KICKED OUT OF HIS SISTERS HOUSE FOR BRINGING A COLORED GIRL HOME, WHICH I DIDNT, SHE WAS WHITE…BUT FUCK IT IF SHE WAS COLORED. I WANTED TO GET THIS OUT THERE FOR AN EXAMPLE OF HOW FUCKED THIS COUNTRY CAN BE, CHRIS ACTED ALL WEIRD ALL DAY AFTER HEARING THIS FROM RICHARD AND ASKED ROXY BEHIND MY BACK IF IT WAS TRUE, AFTER ROXY TOLD HIM NO HE ACTED NORMALLY TOWARD ME.  FUCKED UP HUH? I MEAN, WHAT IF I WANTED TO BRING NICOLE RITCHIE OR BEYONCE HOME OR SOMETHING?? BET THEYD CHANGE THEIR TUNES THEN!!! CUNTS. IM SO FUCKING EXCITED TO SEE WRATH AND FEEL NORMAL LIKE I DID WHEN MY MOM AND DAD CAME OUT. SPEAKING OF, IVE BEEN DOING THE 2011 GREATEST HITS VIDEO OF ALL THE SHIT IVE DONE AND SEEN AND MOST OF THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE IVE MET, ITS MAKING ME SUPER SAD DOING IT AND DOING MY BEST TO BE A GOOD EDITOR AND NOT GET TOO ATTACHED TO THE FOOTAGE SO IM ABLE TO CUT ENOUGH TO FIT MY LAST YEAR ABROAD INTO ABOUT 7 MINUTES OR SO…ITS REALLY TOUGH BUT SHOULD BE READY BY THE 3RD FOR MY START DATE ANNIVERSARY. IM REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING IT FINISHED, SOMEHOW COMING UP ON 365 DAYS IM FEELING VERY ACCOMPLISHED, VERY PROUD OF MYSELF AND ABOVE ALL A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON THAN THE ONE I FILMED ABOUT THIS TIME IN 2010 WHEN I WAS PREPARING TO LEAVE…I GUESS ITS PROOF, THAT THIS RIDICULOUS ADVENTURE HAS MADE ME INTO SOMEONE WITH MORE LIFE EXPERIENCE, MUCH MORE UNDERSTANDING AND HAS COMPLETELY VERIFIED MY BELIEFS THAT LIFE IS SHORT, MONEY MEANS NOTHING AND IF YOU BELIEVE IN SOMETHING, IF YOURE WILLING TO REACH FOR IT, IT WILL BE YOURS. THE LIFE YOUVE LIVED ENDS EVERY SECOND THAT PASSES, ALL THAT IS LEFT IS WHAT YOUR WILLING TO DO WITH THE NEXT ONE.

DECEMBER 25TH MMXI

TODAY IS CHRISTMAS DAY, ITS HOT AND IM GONNA SIT OUT BY THE POOL AND TRY AND GET MY BRONZE ON.  ITS WEIRD TO BE AWAY FROM MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, IVE BEEN THINKING OF OUR SANDIFER TRADITIONS AND DEFINITELY MISS OUR STOCKINGS, AND GIANT CINNAMON ROLLS FOR BREAKFAST AND I FEEL A BIT BUMMED THAT I WONT BE A THE THEATRE WITH THEM THIS AFTERNOON. THE COOL PART IS THAT IVE BEEN INTRODUCED TO SOME SOUTH AFRICAN CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS, FOR CHRISTMAS EVE I WAS INVITED TO ALEXS MOTHERS HOUSE AND WE HAD A HUGE MEAL WITH HIS EXTENDED FAMILY, BEFORE OUR FIRST COURSE EVERYONE OPENED NOVELTY PRESENTS THAT WERE ON OUR PLATES INCLUDING THESE WEIRD EXPLODING CRACKER THINGS WITH WEIRD GIFTS IN THEM...I GOT A BLACK PLASTIC SKELETON. EVERYONE WORE THESE WEIRD PLASTIC CROWNS TOO THAT I ASSUME REPRESENTED THE 3 KINGS OR SOMETHING.  FOR DINNER THERE WAS EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN, INCLUDING A HUGE PLATE OF BEEF TONGUE, WHICH WAS A LITTLE RICH FOR ME BUT STILL PRETTY GOOD. THE WEEK WAS FAIRLY BUSY, THURSDAY WAS INSANE, I DID 8 WALK-INS AND HAD ONE APPOINTMENT, MADE LIKE 3500 RAND AND PUT NEARLY ALL OF IT AWAY WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A BUNCH OF LIQUOR I STOCKED UP ON AFTER WORK. I GOT HOME THURSDAY AROUND 8 AND SINCE ANNETTE WAS FEELING ILL I WAS MAKING MY MOMS TORTILLA SOUP, ABOUT AN HOUR LATER THE KITCHEN WAS FILLED WITH SMELLS FROM SUZANNES KITCHEN AND I KEPT SPINNING AROUND EXPECTING TO SEE HER. I COULDNT FIND ANY SPANISH RICE SO I MADE A BUNCH FROM SCRATCH...THE WHOLE MEAL WAS AWESOME AND EVERYONE LOVED IT.  THE NEW YEAR IS COMING QUICKLY AND IM NOT REALLY FEELING LIKE GOING OUT, CHERI IS WORKING ON A PRETTY CUTE FRIEND OF HERS FOR ME AND THERES ALSO THIS GIRL THAT IS THE DAUGHTER OF OUR NEIGHBORS AT THE SHOP WHOS A FOX THAT WANTS TO HANG OUT...MAYBE ILL HAVE TO STOP DRINKING SO MUCH AT HOME AND ACTUALLY HEAD OUT AND HAVE SOME DRINKS. RICHARD, THE OLD APPRENTICE HAS BEEN TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME, AND TELLING PEOPLE HES A TATTOO ARTIST, IM REALLY HOPING I NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN, I CANT STAND HIM NOW. IVE BEEN WORKING ON YORKATRON VS WORLD GREATEST HITS...ITS A PRETTY BIG UNDERTAKING AND IM HOPING I CAN HAVE IT COMPLETED BY THE 3RD OF JANUARY FOR MY ONE YEAR ABROAD ANNIVERSARY. 

DECEMBER 21ST MMXI

DECEMBER 20TH MMXI

ITS BEEN TWO WEEKS SINCE MY LAST POST, THE WEEKEND OF THE 11TH I WENT OUT WITH FRANCOIS AND BRENT AGAIN, THIS TIME TO FRANCOIS WORK WHICH MEANT FREE DRINKS. I WAS TELLING GIRLS I WAS HERE FOR THE SOUTH AFRICAN ASTRONAUT PROGRAM OR THAT I WAS A ONE ARMED VIOLINIST...IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY...I HAD THE LADIES FALLING ALL OVER THEMSELVES, I WAS CHATTY MOSTLY BECAUSE, AGAINST MY WISHES, BRENT TURNED IT INTO ANOTHER COCAINE FUELED WEEKEND...AGAIN, WORST COCAINE IN THE WORLD, IM PRETTY SURE ITS BARELY EVEN COCAINE, MOSTLY SOME SORT OF AFRICAN TWEEK...AFTER A FEW DRINKS THAT WASNT STOPPING US AND I WAS DOING LINES IN THE BATHROOM OFF MY AAA CARD.  I WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY AFTER A COUPLE HOURS OF SLEEP WITH ONLY ONE SOCK AND A LACEY MICHAEL JACKSON GLOVE ON MY RIGHT HAND, I WAS STUCK IN CAPE TOWN ALL DAY AND SAT BY, BROKE, WATCHING FRANCOIS AND HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND GET DRUNK OVER A LONG BREAKFAST AND ARGUE ABOUT STUPID SHIT.  THE WEEK STARTED NORMAL AND IVE BEEN DOING ABOUT A TATTOO A DAY AND PUTTING AWAY EVERY BIT I CAN AFFORD TO PUT AWAY IN ORDER TO AFFORD MY SMOKES AND REDBULLS DURING THE DAYS.  I DECIDED TO STAY IN OVER THE WEEKEND WITH THE FAMILY, WHICH QUICKLY TURNED INTO A BRAAI AND SATURDAY NIGHT DRINKING GAMES...IT WAS QUARTERS AND I DID PRETTY WELL AND WAS THE LEAST DRUNK OUT OF EVERYONE NOT SURE IF THAT IS BECAUSE IM SKILLED OR A HARDENED DRINKER. I SPENT SUNDAY WATCHING TV, EDITING VIDEO AND DRINKING WHISKEY, MONDAY ANNETTE, CHERI, KELLI AND HER FRIEND STORM ALL WENT TO RATANGA JUNCTION THE THEME PARK IN CAPE TOWN AND RODE THE ROLLERCOASTERS AND HAD FUN TILL ALL OF US COULD BARELY STAND THEN WENT HOME AND HAD CHICKEN AND WAFFLES AT THE HOUSE AND CRASHED EARLY.  IT WAS AN AWESOME WEEKEND, I ALSO GOT TO TALK TO THE SANDIFER SIDE OF THE FAMILY SUNDAY AT OUR FAMILY CHRISTMAS AND SPOKE WITH WRATH BRIEFLY YESTERDAY ABOUT PLANS FOR THE CONVENTION. BOTH CONVERSATIONS GAVE ME SOME EXTRA ENERGY AND REMINDED ME WHY I CAN DO WHAT IM DOING. ITS SO GOOD TO HAVE PEOPLE THAT YOU KNOW WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. I KNOW NOW WHATS REALLY IMPORTANT, IM PRETTY SURE I KNEW THIS BEFORE THE TRIP, BUT NOW I THINK I CAN EXPRESS IT BETTER: BEING WITH FAMILY IS ALL THAT MATTERS, AFTER THAT ITS ALL ABOUT FINDING THE PEOPLE IN LIFE YOU CAN LEARN FROM, THAT YOU CAN HELP, THAT ARE WILLING TO DREAM WITH YOU, THAT CAN COME TOGETHER. ITS ABOUT SPENDING THE LITTLE AMOUNT OF LIFE WE ARE GIVEN AND BRINGING PEOPLE TOGETHER AND SHARING A COMMON GOAL, TO ENJOY LIFE...EVERYTHING ELSE IS SECONDARY. IVE BEEN A BIT ON EDGE LATELY, AND I FEAR IM DEVELOPING ANXIETY ISSUES FROM MY LIFE WITH DRUGS, I REMEMBER THE DAY REX EVERYTHING HAD TO GO STRAIGHT FROM THE DOCTORS ORDERS, I DONT GO TO THE DOCTOR, BUT I FEAR BEING STUCK WITH RISING ANXIETY PROBLEMS AS I AGE AND LIVE THE WAY I DO. BUT IN THE END ONE OF TWO THINGS HAS HAPPENED, YOUVE EITHER LIVED TOO MUCH AND ITS KILLED YOU OR YOU HAVENT LIVED AND YOUVE DIED SLOW. I SHOULD BE PUTTING UP A VIDEO HERE IN THE NEXT DAY OR SO, AND AM CONTEMPLATING DOING AN OVERVIEW EPISODE OF MY LAST YEAR TO CELEBRATE MY 365 DAYS ON THE ROAD SINCE JANUARY 3RD, IT REALLY DEPENDS HOW BUSY SHIT GETS, THE TOURISTS ARE POURING INTO THE SHOP AND I DONT THINK IT WILL REALLY LET UP TILL AFTER THE NEW YEAR...ITS HOT TOO, IM SUNBURNT AND WISH I HAD AIR-CON AT THE SHOP. 

DECEMBER 9TH MMXI

THIS WEEK WAS STRANGE. AFTER GOING ON THE BENDER WITH BRENT AND FRANCIOS, I RETURNED TO WORK AS USUAL. THE SHOP IS PICKING UP, IVE DONE ONE WALK IN A DAY AND SET AN APPOINTMENT FOR LATER DAILY AS WELL. AT THIS RATE I WILL BE RACKING UP RAND LIKE A RAP STAR SLAGIN BOTTLED WATER. THE BIG THRILLER FOR THE WEEK WAS YESTERDAY, THURSDAY, WHEN WARRANT OFFICER LINDY CAME INTO THE SHOP ARMED WITH 5000 RAND TO PAY CHRIS AND I BACK OUR ORIGINAL FINES. STRINGS WERE PULLED AND THIS WAS THE RESULT. LINDY ASKED FOR OUR ADMISSION OF GUILT SLIPS IN RETURN FOR OUR MONEY BACK, WHICH TOTALLY BUMMED ME OUT, THAT IS ABOUT THE COOLEST SOUVENIR AND NOW I GOT CASH INSTEAD. WARRANT OFFICER LINDY WAS JUST DOING HIS JOB AND I WAS FEELING A BIT GUILTY WHEN HE INFORMED ME THERE WAS GOING TO BE A CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION INTO HIS CONDUCT, WHICH IS BULLSHIT, HE GOT A CALL FROM THE CUNT THAT GRASSED ME OUT AND HE DID HIS JOB, HE DID NOTHING WRONG AND TREATED ME WITH ALL KINDS OF RESPECT. OF MY REFUNDED MONEY, I TOOK MY 2500 AND PUT 500 AWAY, PAID THE REMAINDER OF MY RENT, AND PITCHED IN THE LAST THOUSAND TO THE TATTOO INK I AGREED TO PAY FOR TO REPLACE WHAT IVE USED FROM THE SHOP. I WAS BUMMED OUT AT FIRST BECAUSE IVE DONE SO MANY FIXER TATTOOS FOR CHRIS'S PAST HACK FUCKING ARTISTS, BUT NOW IM THINKING AT LEAST IVE DEALT WITH IT AND DID JUST WHAT I SAID I WOULD DO. ALSO, I FINALLY CONFRONTED CHRIS ABOUT ALL THE FREE WORK I WAS DOING, ALL THE HOOK UPS, ALL THE FIXER BULLSHIT, ALL THE "PROMOTIONAL VALUE" TATTOOS AND LET HIM KNOW I WONT BE DOING THAT SHIT ANYMORE. HE WAS TOTALLY COOL ABOUT IT AND NOW IM FREE TO FUCK SHIT UP. I TATTOOED THE SERENITY PRAYER TODAY, TURNED OUT GOOD, I ALSO DID A PAIR OF ROSES IN THE SHAPE OF A YING YANG THAT LOOKED AWESOME THEN DESMOND (THE SON OF ANNETTE WHOM I LIVE WITH) POPPED INTO THE SHOP AND WE WERE BULLSHITTING AND HE ASKED IF I COULD DRAW UP A PAIR OF CLAPPIN HANDS WITH A ROSARY FOR BEHIND HIS EAR, I DREW THAT SHIT UP, UNSURE IF I COULD PULL IT OFF. I DREW IT, TATTOOED IT, AND AFTER THE SHADOW REALIZED THAT I PACKED A LOT OF DETAIL INTO THAT FUCKER, INCLUDING THE VEINS ON THE TOP OF THE HANDS N SHIT...I WAS TOTALLY STOKED AND LISTENING TO TUPAC LIKE I SHOULDA BEEN. TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY, I PUT AWAY A THOUSAND RAND FROM THE DAY, BOUGHT A COUPLE BOTTLES OF MY PINOT GRIGIO AND AM RELAXING IN THE LOUNGE AT THE HOUSE WATCHING ONE OF THE YOUNG KELLI ANNES DISNEY SERIES..."THE SECRET LIFE OF AN AMERICAN TEENAGER"...AKWARD. TOMORROW, BRENT AND I ARE GONNA HOOK UP AGAIN AND FUCK SOME SHIT UP, BUT BEFORE THAT HOPEFULLY HIT A BRAAI WITH THIS FOLKS AND SIS SO I CAN MEET EM.  ITS BEEN UP AND DOWN LATELY, TOMORROW THERE IS AN ECLIPSE, IM DREDING THE FACT THAT SHIT IS GONNA GET SHOOK THE FUCK UP AGAIN...IM SERIOUSLY BEGGING FOR MERCY AND JUST WANT TO TRY AND LIVE IN A NORMAL STATE WHILE IM HERE IN THE ZA. BUT FUCKIN AYE, IF TOMORROW BRINGS FIRE AND BRIMSTONE...ILL FUCKIN DEAL WITH THAT SHIT TOO.

IVE BEEN THINKING LATELY ABOUT MY STANCE ON MARRIAGE. IM AGAINST IT, BUT, NOW IM STARTING TO THINK MAYBE I NEED TO PUT MYSELF THROUGH WHAT I CONSIDER TO BE AN ALL AROUND HORRIBLE SITUATION, TO GET DIVORCED AND BE ABLE TO SAY IVE BEEN THROUGH IT. IM PRETTY SURE ANY MARRIAGE WITH ME WOULD END IN DIVORCE, SO WHAT WOULD A POST DIVORCE SAINT EDMOND BE LIKE?? HE WOULD BE RECKLESS I ASSUME, AND A MORE RECKLESS THAN I AM NOW SAINT EDMOND WOULD ACHIEVE THINGS I CURRENTLY COULDNT EVEN IMAGINE. IT WOULD BE A HUGE RISK, A RISK THAT I WOULD FALL INTO THE LOVING ARMS OF FAMILIARITY AND SOCIETIES NORMS...BUT HUGE RISKS IS WHAT I FUCKIN DO ISNT IT??, WHATS MY MOTHER FUCKIN NAME!!??

DECEMBER 7TH MMXI

I THINK I AM FINALLY ABLE TO IDENTIFY THAT I HAVE TROUBLE IDENTIFYING WHEN I AM UNHAPPY.  IN PAST POSTS I SAID IF I WAS UNHAPPY ID BE GONE, NOW IM NOT EXACTLY SURE I CAN TELL IF IM UNHAPPY OR NOT BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO BE HAPPY ABOUT SO THE THINGS IM UNHAPPY ABOUT SEEM TO PALE IN COMPARISON.  IM UNHAPPY AT THIS SHOP, BUT IM HAPPY TO BE THE ONLY ARTIST BEING ABLE TO GET 100% OF THE APPOINTMENTS. SOUTH AFRICA IS PROVING FRUSTRATING AS A WHOLE, TODAY I GOT AN EMAIL FROM THE CONVENTION ORGANIZERS, SENDING ME A CONTRACT AND ASKING FOR $700 FOR A BOOTH AFTER I SPENT A BUNCH OF TIME TRYING TO GET A BOOTH COMPED TO GORDON AND RYAN FROM AMERICAN GRAFFITI, I HAVENT SPOKE TO WRATH YET BUT IM SUPER WORRIED THAT THEY WONT BE ABLE TO MAKE IT WORTH IT TO PAY FOR AIRFARE AND THE BOOTH PLUS EXPENSES. I FEEL LIKE I FAILED MY BOYS AND AM A LITTLE ASHAMED. FUCK MAN I FUCKING HATE FAILURE, IF ONLY I COULDVE GOTTEN IN FRONT OF THE GUY AND GIVEN HIM MY LASER SALES EYES I WOULDVE PULLED IT OFF, BUT INSTEAD HE IS GIVING ME THE "WE WILL KEEP A BOOTH OPEN BECAUSE WE ARE EXCITED TO HAVE SOME WEST COAST REPRESENTATION, SEND ME BACK THE CONTRACT AND PAYMENT IN FULL" NONSENSE. AFTER A WEEKEND OF EARLY NIGHTS AND WORKING BOTH SATURDAY AND SUNDAY I PUT AWAY A PRETTY DECENT CHUNK OF MONEY WHICH HAS BROUGHT ME A LOT OF RELIEF AND OPTIONS IF SHIT GOES SOUTH AGAIN.  BRENT GOT HOME SUNDAY, HE AND HIS BUDDY FRANCIOS KIDNAPPED ME FROM WORK ON MONDAY AT 230, ARMED WITH BOURBON AND COKES…I WAS DRUNK BY THE TIME WE LEFT SIMONS TOWN.  BRENT NEARLY KILLED US AT LEAST 10 TIMES WITH HIS WILD ASS DRIVING AND I REMEMBER THINKING, FUCKING HELL I DONT WANNA DIE IN A FORD PICKUP (ID PREFER A SHINY SPORTSCAR). LUCKILY, WE MADE IT TO TABLEVIEW (OUTSIDE CAPE TOWN) IN ONE COMPLETE PIECE (EXCEPT FRANCIOS, WHO WAS IN THE BACK OF THE BUCKY AND WAS BLEEDING FROM BEING THROWN FROM SIDE TO SIDE) WE LANDED AT FRANCIOUS APARTMENT AND I WAS ABLE TO TALK TO WRATH ABOUT THE DEADLINE FOR THE CONVENTION BOOTH THE FOLLOWING DAY. ITS A GO. I REPEAT, WRATH IS COMING TO CAPE TOWN TO TATTOO AND HANG OUT WITH ME!!!! SO FUCKING EXCITED!!! I AM SO THRILLED, MY BROTHER IS COMING TO THE OPPOSITE END OF THE WORLD TO ACT THE DAMN FOOL WITH ME, WE ARENT 100% YET, BUT HOPEFULLY HIS FRIEND FROM AMERICAN GRAFFITI RYAN TANTON WILL BE COMING AS WELL. AFTER WE SORTED THE DETAILS OF HOW TO PAY FOR THE BOOTH ETC, I GOT OFF THE SKYPE CALL AND WALKED OUT TO MY DRUNKEN PALS IN THE OTHER ROOM TO FIND AN OLD DUSTY BOOK COVERED IN COCAINE…AFTER SOME CROOKED LOOKS FROM BRENT I TOOK A COUPLE BIG PULLS OF WHAT IS WITHOUT DOUBT THE WORST COCAINE IN THE WORLD.  BRENT AND FRANCOIS WERE SUPER FUCKED UP AND HAD BEEN PARTYING SINCE SUNDAY MORNING WHEN BRENT GOT HOME, KNOWING THAT THEY WERE HEADED TO DREAMLAND I SENT A TEXT TO ALEX AND ARRANGED A CAB…I WAS HOME BY 2AM AND HEADED TO A NASTY HANGOVER AT WORK ON TUESDAY. ON THE DRIVE HOME, I KEPT THINKING ABOUT HOW COOL IT WAS THAT WRATH IS COMING, AND ENJOYED THE WARM DRY BREEZE ON MY FACE AND THE SOUNDS OF THE LOCUSTS KRIKING OUTSIDE. TUESDAY MORNING SUCKED PRETTY BAD, BUT I FORGOT ABOUT MY HANGOVER AND DID A COUPLE NICE TATTOOS, A NAME AND A NAME AND A ROSE THEN A TOUCH UP FROM THE LAST ARTIST THAT WORKED HERE. THE ROSE AND NAME WAS SCARY, NOT THE TATTOO BUT THE CLIENT. SHE KEPT ASKING WEIRD QUESTIONS ABOUT HIV AND AIDS…LIKE RED FLAG QUESTIONS SO I WAS SPOOKED THROUGH THE WHOLE TATTOO AND AFTER I WAS FINISHED LITERALLY BATHED IN OUR SHITTY STERILIZING SPRAY. TUESDAY NIGHT I CALLED MY MOM AND DAD BRIEFLY TO ARRANGE TO USE THEIR CREDIT CARD TO PAY FOR THE BOOTH UNTIL GORDON BRINGS THEM CASH…REAL TATTOOERS DONT NEED CREDIT CARDS. SO, FOR NOW, IT LOOKS LIKE THINGS ARE FINALLY FALLING INTO PLACE, WITH SOME LUCK, ILL HAVE A VISA SOON, WRATH IS COMING, IVE GOT A FEW BUCKS AT LEAST TO ESCAPE THIS PLACE IF NEEDED, BRENT IS HOME AND I FINALLY HAVE A FRIEND IN CAPE TOWN. ALL I AM LEFT WANTING IS TO SEE THE GOD DAMN PENGUINS THAT ARE ONLY 2KS AWAY FROM WHERE I WORK…ALL THE OTHER SITE SEEING STUFF IM GONNA WAIT TO SEE WITH WRATH AND RYAN…SHARK CAGE DIVING, TABLE MOUNTAIN AND THE NATURE RESERVES. IM EXCITED TO SEE CAPE TOWN DOWNTOWN AT NIGHT, I WANNA WAIT TO GO UNTIL ITS A REALLY HOT DAY, SEEING THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS IN SHORTS WILL BE WEIRD FOR ME. THE WEATHER IS OFF AND ON, ONE DAY ITS SWEATING HOT, THE NEXT DAY THE WIND KICKS UP AND THE CLOUDS ROLL IN AND IM COLD AGAIN…I GUESS THATS NORMAL…SOON ILL BE ABLE TO GO TO THE BEACH, HOPEFULLY ON CHRISTMAS EVE OR SOMETHING SO I CAN RUB IT IN AND TRY AND IGNOR THE FACT THAT ILL BE MISSING THE HOLIDAY WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS. I THINK I MAY BE ABLE TO TALK BRENT INTO A ROAD TRIP TO MOZAMBIQUE OR NAMIBIA OR SOMETHING…HES ALWAYS READY FOR THAT KIND OF SHIT, HOPEFULLY HE WILL BE STAYING LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE IT WORK. I SWORE TO MYSELF I WOUDNT PUT OUT A NEW VIDEO UNTIL I HAVE SEEN THE PENGUINS, I HAVE IT ALL LAID OUT AND READY, JUST NEED THAT 30 BLOODY SECONDS OF FOOTAGE BEFORE I CAN RENDER IT...

DECEMBER 1ST MMXI

WHAT A WEEK, JUST TO RECAP, I GOT KICKED OUT ON SATURDAY FOR BRINGING A GIRL HOME, KICKED OUT RIGHT THEN AND THERE INTO THE DARK DANGEROUS STREETS OF SOUTH AFRICA FOR NOT FOLLOWING THE "RULE" NOT TO BRING A BITCH HOME, THIS RULE WOULD BE OK, IF ONLY I HAD BEEN TOLD ABOUT IT DURING THE 6 WEEKS IVE STAYED WITH THEM.  TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, ON TUESDAY, THE GIRL THAT I GOT KICKED OUT OVER WENT OFF THE FUCKING DEEP END.  AND JUST FOR FUN WE WILL QUOTE HER: (NOTE: THIS IS AFTER ONE DATE AND ONE LOUSY ROLL IN THE SACK) "I KNOW THAT ITS STUPID FOR ME TO BE ASKIN ALL THESE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS NOW. I WAS IN DENIAL WITH MYSELF FOR THINKING THAT I COULD TAKE LOVE LIGHTLY WITH OUT PLANNIN. I WISH U WELL AND IF U WANT TO GO FOR COFFEE CAL ME."  THIS WAS THE 6TH TEXT MESSAGE IN 2 HOURS WHILE I WAS TATTOOING, SHE ALSO CALLED TWICE. FINDING THIS NICE DOOR OUT I SENT HER THE PLEASE DONT CALL ME EVER AGAIN TEXT. MAN, IM WONDERING THOUGH, ARE ALL CAPE TOWN GIRLS LIKE THIS?? OR ARE MY SKILLS AS A LADY KILLER REALLY GETTING THAT FUCKIN GOOD?? I MEAN, IS IT THE FACT THAT I DONT PULL ANY PUNCHES AND THE SINCERITY IN MY EYES IS NOTHING BUT LEGENDARY, BUT IM A FUCKING ASSHOLE…WHEN ARE THESE GIRLS GONNA LEARN?? I GUESS NEVER, AND THATS WHAT MAKES IT SO FUN BEING ME I GUESS.  ALL ARROGANCE ASIDE, ITS BEEN A MUCH BETTER WEEK, THE CHIEF OF THE SEA BORDER POLICE (WHICH REALLY WAS VESSELS, CHRIS'S FRIEND) CAME IN AND INFORMED ME THAT I SHOULD BE GETTING BACK THE 2500 RAND I WAS FINED.  FUCKING AWESOME, I DESPERATELY NEED IT, YESTERDAY FOR DINNER I HAD 2 GENTLEMANS AND WATER FOR DINNER, PLUS IM GONNA NEED A PRETTY GNARLY DOWN PAYMENT TO GET MYSELF A JOINT OF MY OWN.  I GOTTA ADMIT THOUGH, STAYING IN A HOSTEL AGAIN SURE FEELS GOOD, NOT SO CHEAP HERE IN SIMONS TOWN BUT TO HAVE MY OWN ROOM AND SHOWER IS PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME…IVE ASKED TWICE IF THEY WOULD HOOK UP A MONTHLY RATE…THEY SAID NO BOTH TIMES…ILL ASK AGAIN TOMORROW. ITS STRANGE TO ME THOUGH, THAT I FEEL MORE AT HOME IN A HOSTEL THAN ANYWHERE ELSE.  I WENT AND LOOKED AT A PLACE OWNED BY A DUDE FROM CALIFORNIA THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH A METH LAB, THEN WENT UP AND SPOKE WITH ANOTHER CALIFORNIA GUY IN A REALLY NICE PLACE TO SEE IF I COULD TALK HIM INTO A SHORT TERM LEASE, I HAD HIM ON THE ROPES BUT HE DIFFERED TO HIS REAL ESTATE AGENT WHO QUICKLY PUT THE BRAKES ON MY SCHEMING.  SO WEDNESDAY NIGHT, I MOVED IN WITH ALEX AND HIS FAMILY, IVE GOT A LITTLE ROOM AND DINNER AND LAUNDRY ARE INCLUDED FOR ONLY 2000 RAND PER MONTH, THEY ARE GREAT PEOPLE AND IM HAPPY THERE FOR THE MOMENT, BUT STILL AM LOOKING FOR MY INDEPENDENCE. ALEX IS THE CAB DRIVER THAT ORIGINALLY PICKED ME UP FROM THE AIRPORT, I AGREED TO FIX UP AN OLD TATTOO OF AN INDIAN FOR HIM AS TRADE TO DRIVE ME AND THE BOYS AROUND FOR THE TATTOO CONVENTION. GUESS I WEASELED MY WAY INTO HIS HOME TOO.  GOOD STUFF.  HOPEFULLY SINCE THE LAST FEW WEEKS HAVE BEEN MAD ILL BE ABLE TO GET DOWN TO THE ROUTINE AGAIN AND MAKE SOME MONEY, EGYPT IS SUPER FAR AWAY STILL AFTER THE RENT FIASCO, THE JAILING AND PAYING FOR HOSTELS IM DOWN TO NEARLY NOTHING AGAIN, SO ITS TIME TO START OVER.  I DO HAVE AN OFFER IN A SHOP WEST OF HERE OFFICIALLY, AND ITS OPEN ENDED SO ITS NICE TO KNOW I HAVE OPTIONS.  BRENT GETS HOME TO CAPE TOWN ON SUNDAY ITS GOING TO BE SO FUN TO HAVE A FRIEND IN THE AREA, NOT JUST PEOPLE THAT HAVE TO BE MY FRIENDS BECAUSE IM A FOREIGNER. CANT WAIT TO HANG OUT AND SEE BRENTS CAPE TOWN…GONNA BE FUN.  ONTOP OF THAT, RYAN FROM SINGAPORE MAY BE COMING OUT TOO.  SO BRENT+WRATH+RYAN TANTON+RYAN LEE= QUITE A FEW WILD TIMES TO BE HAD IN OLE CAPE TOWN. EVERYDAY ITS A BIT WARMER HERE, WHEN THE WIND AND THE CLOUDS CLEAR OUT ITS TOO HOT FOR JEANS, BUT BEING AT THE END OF THE WORLD AND BETWEEN THE ATLANTIC AND INDIAN OCEANS, THE WIND IS CONSTANTLY BLOWING HERE, BUT SOON IT WONT MATTER BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE THE SUN GETS CLOSER BY THE HOUR.

NOVEMBER 27TH MMXI

ITS 421PM ON SUNDAY.  IM INTO MY SECOND GENTLEMANS AND WATER, IN A HOTEL ROOM BED FINALLY ALONE FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE ITALY, IN THE LORD NELSONS INN IN SIMONS TOWN, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A WHILE, IM FRUSTRATED, NOW IF YOUVE READ A BLOG OR TWO, YOULL KNOW THAT I SPIN EVERYTHING TO A POSITIVE ALWAYS, BUT THIS TIME, IM FUCKING OFFICIALLY SICK OF OTHER PEOPLE DICTATING MY LIFE. SEEMS AS IF SOME THING I DID IN MY RECENT PAST IS COSMICALLY RETURNING TO MAKE MY LIFE DIFFICULT. ALL THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON, BUT WHEN THEY ALL COME AT THE SAME TIME IT TENDS TO BE A PAIN IN THE ASS. FRIDAY I GOT MY VISA PAPERWORK SUBMITTED, ON THE RECEIPT FORM IT HAS A COUPLE STAMPS FROM HOME AFFAIRS AND IN BIG BOLD LETTERS AT THE BOTTOM IT READS: IF YOU ARE APPLYING FOR A WORK VISA ETC, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO WORK UNTIL YOUR APPLICATION HAS BEEN PROCESSED (3-6 WEEKS). CHRIS WANTED TO CLEAR IT WITH HIS BOY VESSELS (WHO CHRIS CLAIMED TO BE THE CAPTAIN OF THE BORDER POLICE, WHO I RECENTLY FOUND OUT DOESNT WORK FOR THE BORDER POLICE AT ALL) I SAID I WAS TOLD TO GO DIRECTLY TO MY ARRESTING OFFICER, WHEN WE GOT TO THE POLICE STATION, A SERGEANT CAME OUT, TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE LETTER FROM HOME AFFAIRS, READ THE PART WHERE IT SAID I WASNT SUPPOSED TO WORK, LOOKED AT THE STAMPS AND SAID, YES, YOURE OK TO WORK UNTIL MONDAY BUT MONDAY YOULL HAVE TO SHOW IT TO MY SUPIOR OFFICER...SIGH, ALL THAT STRESS AND WORK TO JUST WATCH THE POLICE BREAK THE RULES ANYWAY. I TATTOOED ALL DAY AFTER NOT REALLY TATTOOING FOR A WEEK WHICH FELT GOOD, ESPECIALLY SINCE I WASNT WORRIED ABOUT THE COPS RUSHING IN AGAIN TO DEPORT ME, I WENT HOME, NAPPED QUICKLY AND LAST NIGHT I WENT ON A DATE WITH RUTH (THE NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE GIRL) AFTER ABOUT 1000RAND WORTH OF COCKTAILS WE HEADED BACK TO MY PLACE, THE TWO PITBULLS AT THE HOUSE HOOCHIE AND TURBO, TURBO WENT NUTS BARKING (ITS WAS ABOUT 1245AM, WHICH WASNT GOOD BECAUSE TAS AND LENNY HAD TO GET UP EARLY TO TAKE TASMINE TO THE AIRPORT. AFTER I CALMED THE DOGS DOWN AND GOT BACK TO MY BEDROOM WITH RUTH, TAS HOLLERED FROM THE LIVING ROOM: "YORK CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND??" FUCKING HELL I THOUGHT, I WENT OUT AND SHE STATED WITH BRIGHT RED CHEEKS: YOUR RENT DOESNT ALLOW YOU TO HAVE HOUSE GUESTS, RICHARD (TASMINES BROTHER) HAD A GIRL HERE ONCE THAT STOLE SOME SHIT, SO YOULL HAVE TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW...GET A CAB OR SOMETHING" AND SHE WALKED AWAY.  FUCKING PISSED OFF I GRAB A JACKET, MADE A CALL, GRAB THE GIRL AND WENT OUTSIDE TO WAIT FOR A RIDE TO A FRIENDS HOUSE. ABOUT 2 MINUTES AFTER I GOT OUTSIDE I GOT A TEXT THAT READ: "LEONARD AND I BOTH FEEL ITS BEST YOU FIND YOUR OWN PLACE AS YES YOU PAY RENT BUT YOU CANT NOT (SIC) BRING RANDOM PEOPLE INTO OUR HOME. YOU HAVE UNTIL WEDNESDAY WHICH IS DECEMBER 1ST. (SIC) SORRY BUT ALSO TO BRING SOMEONE AT 136 AM & WHEN I HAVE TO BE UP AT 5 IS NOT COOL. AND ITS JUST NOT GOING TO WORK SORRY." TEXT MESSAGE WAS DATED AT 1245 AM...WHAT A BITCH. I COULD TOTALLY UNDERSTAND HER BEING SO UPSET IF SHE HAD EVER BROUGHT IT UP, EVER MENTIONED ANYTHING REMOTELY HINTING THAT IT MAY UPSET HER...INSTEAD, AT 1246AM ON A SUNDAY MORNING, DRUNK, ON TOP OF WORKING ILLEGALLY, ON TOP OF POSSIBLY MOVING TO A SHOP 500KM WEST OF CAPE TOWN (WHO HASNT RETURNED MY SECOND EMAIL YET), ON TOP OF BRENT COMING HOME NEXT WEEKEND, ON TOP OF TRYING TO PLAN HOW TO TAKE CARE OF WRATH IN JANUARY FOR THE TATTOO CONVENTION...IM FUCKING HOMELESS. IT HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT THE FUCKING TUG OF WAR SINCE IVE BEEN IN SOUTH AFRICA...HOW DO I ALWAYS FIND THIS KIND OF DRAMA?, I KNOW, SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, I ATTRACT THIS SHIT TO MYSELF. MAYBE ITS HOW MUCH TROUBLE I CAUSE WITH THE LADIES, MAYBE IT BECAUSE AFTER I GOT KICKED OUT I FUCKED RUTH ON AN AIR MATTRESS AT MY FRIENDS HOUSE, OF POSSIBLY THE LOVE KNIFE I AVOIDED THE WEEKEND BEFORE...MAYBE I JUST HAVE SO MUCH GOOD LUCK THAT I HAVE TO ENDURE SOME BAD TO LEVEL THINGS OUT.  EITHER WAY, IM FINISHED WITH THIS DRAMA BULLSHIT, ITLL GET SORTED OR IM GONNA WALK AWAY AND HEAD TO THE CENTER OF CAPE TOWN WITH VERY LITTLE MONEY AND START OVER IN SOUTH AFRICA. 

NOVEMBER 25TH MMXI

IVE REALIZED SOMETHING, IM BETTER THAN MY WRITING BETTER THAN ALL THE SONGS BETTER THAN THE MOVIES I DREAM UP BETTER THAN THE DREAM WORLD I LIVE IN…I WANNA BE THE GUY THAT OTHER PEOPLE WRITE ABOUT NOW. THATS THE BEST PART ABOUT WHAT IM DOING…THERE ISNT A PLACE I WILL GO, A MOTHER FUCKER ILL MEET WHERE I WONT BE ABLE TO SAY IN CONFIDENCE: YEAH MAN, BUT…IVE CIRCUMNAVIGATED THIS RIDICULOUS PLANET.  WHEN CUNTS TELL ME HOW MUCH BETTER THEIR MONEY MAKES THEM, OR HOW THEIR FERARRI MAKES THIER DICK LOOK BIGGER. COOL MAN, YOUR DICKS STILL THE SAME SIZE, YOUR WALLET CAN BEAT UP MY WALLET, BUT I TRAVELED 40000+ MILES IN A FUCKIN YEAR…AND ILL FUCKIN STAB YOU, DRAG YOUR BODY BACK TO TACOMA AND MAKE A FORTUNE FROM YOUR ORGANS. WHAT!?, YOURE ONE OF THE 9 THAT HAVE BEEN TO THE FUCKING MOON!!!??? WELL FUCK YOU, IM GONNA DO THAT SHIT TOO…NEXT STOP…SPACE MOTHER FUCKER. SERIOUSLY. ILL GET TO SPACE OR ILL DIE FIRST. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, AND IF I GOTTA DIE TO GET TO SPACE, MY ASHES WILL BE SHOT THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE AND SOME ADVANCED CIVILIZATION WILL RECREATE ME AS AN ATOM SPLITTING FUTURISTIC SUPER FUCK MACHINE. TODAY IS THANKSGIVING, I SPOKE TO WRATH FOR 39 MINUTES. THAT GUY IS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE AN INSPIRATION TO ME. WE DIDNT EVEN REALLY TALK ABOUT TATTOOING, JUST ABOUT WHAT SOUTH AFRICA IS LIKE AND SUCH AND AFTER THE CALL I FELT TOTALLY INSPIRED TO BE A BETTER TATTOOER, TO BE A BETTER PERSON. I WISH, BUT KNOW THAT MOST PEOPLE DONT COME IN CONTACT WITH SUCH TITANS DURING THEIR LIVES, BUT I WISH THAT ALL PEOPLE WOULD, ITS NOT JUST TATTOOING, ITS THE DRIVE AND OPEN THINKING THAT HE POSSESSES THAT FORCES YOU TO TRY HARDER, TO LIVE LARGER, TO BE MORE REAL IN WHAT YOU DO AND WHAT YOU SAY…HE HAS BEEN SUCH AN INFLUENCE ON MY LIFE ITS UNREAL, IVE KNOWN THE MAN ONLY ABOUT 2 YEARS AND CANT BELIEVE WHAT HE, HIS WIFE, AND HIS FRIENDS HAVE CHANGED IN ME; AND CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT THE FUTURE WILL HOLD FOR OUR SCHEMING. WRATH STATED THAT HE IS INTERESTED IN COMING DOWN FOR THE TATTOO CONVENTION…IF THAT WORKS OUT, LET ME TELL YOU NOW, ILL DO FUCKING BACK FLIPS INTO THE OCEAN AND SWIM LAPS AROUND THE MAN-EATING GREAT WHITES. FACT IS, IVE DECIDED THAT IM GONNA LIVE THE NEXT YEAR (2012) LIKE ITS THE LAST OF HUMAN EXISTENCE, FUCK IT IF ITS NOT!, THATS THE WAY ILL LIVE YO! AND IF IVE GOT A YEAR LEFT TO ROCK THIS JOINT…YOU GOD DAMN RIGHT ID SPEND AS MUCH OF IT AS I CAN WITH A TITAN OF A HUMAN LIKE GORDON MCCLOUD. I SPOKE TO MY FAMILY NEXT, DROPPED THE VIDEO CALL LIKE TEN TIMES BUT, GOT TO SEE MY SISTER, QUENTIN, MOM AND DAD AND PIPERS NEW PINSCHER RASTA. SO GOOD TO SEE THEM, I TOOK THE DAY OFF TO GO TO HOME AFFAIRS, WENT TO THE DOCTOR TO GET A MEDICAL CLEARANCE, WENT TO ANOTHER DOCTOR TO GET A XRAY TO PROVE I DIDNT HAVE TUBERCULOUS AND GOT HOME BY 3 AND STARTED DRINKING THE WINE WHICH LEAD TO PICKLEBACKS AND HARD CIDER FOR SOME GOD AWFUL REASON THEN BACK TO WINE AGAIN…NEXT MORNING I WOKE WITH A WICKED BAD HANGOVER BY NINE WE WERE BACK ON THE ROAD TO HOME AFFAIRS AGAIN, GOT MY FUCKING PERMIT PAPERWORK SUBMITTED. SO IT IS, SUBMITTED AND WILL TAKE A COUPLE WEEKS TO HEAR ANYTHING…WHICH MEANS NEVER MOST LIKELY. I GOT A JOB OFFER FOR A SHOP OF SOME FRIENDS OF FRIENDS WHO NEED HELP FOR THE SUMMER SEASON (DECEMBER AND JANUARY) IM SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING IT…ITS THE SAFE BET, COPS WONT BE SNOOPING THERE, AND I CAN GET AWAY FROM CHRIS AND HIS FUCKING SCHEMING LYING BULLSHIT.  HES TOLD ME 3 STORIES ABOUT HOW I CAN WORK THERE LEGALLY SINCE I GOT ARRESTED, EACH NEW STORY HAS COMPLETELY CONFLICTED WITH THE LAST. I HAVENT MADE A DECISION AND THE JOB OFFER MAY GET RECANTED AFTER I SENT HIM THE EMAIL WITH ALL MY POTENTIAL IMMIGRATION ISSUES I NOW BRING WITH ME. BUT FUCK IT…CHANGE MAY BE GOOD, BUT OF COURSE ITS HAPPENING JUST AS IM GETTING MY FUCKIN SETTLE ON…BUT HEY, REAL YORKATRONS...

IN SOUTH AFRICA, SINCE I HAVE BEEN HERE THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF TALK ABOUT THE CORRUPTION OF THE GOVERNMENT.  LOTS OF TALK OF PAYOFFS AND PEOPLE POCKETING MONEY THAT ISNT THIERS ETC, AND RECENTLY THEY HAVE PASSED A BILL WITH A PENALTY OF 25 YEARS BASICALLY QUASHING FREE SPEECH. SO THERE ISNT FREE SPEECH IN SOUTH AFRICA SINCE IVE BEEN HERE…WEIRD, AND THE LOCALS ARE PISSED. ALSO, IN OTHER NEWS, I DOWNLOADED EVERY EAZY E ALBUM AND NWA…LISTENING TO NIGGAZ4LIFE REALLY TAKES ME BACK TO GRADE SCHOOL & JR HIGH…SO FUCKING GOOD, THE PRODUCTION WENT THROUGH THE ROOF ON THAT ALBUM, ILL HAVE TO READ UP ON WHAT CHANGED ON THAT ALBUM. 

NOVEMBER 21ST MMXI

JESUS CHRIST ON FUCKIN CRUTCH ON CHRISTMAS.

THAT IS THE STATEMENT THAT PRETTY MUCH WRAPS UP THE LAST 5 DAYS FOR THIS MUTHA FUCKER. LETS START THURSDAY: I GOT ARRESTED AND THROWN IN A SOUTH AFRICAN HOLDING CELL BECAUSE SOME CUNT GRASSED ME THE FUCK OUT. CUNTS!!! THE ONLY TURELY POSITIVE THING IN THE LAST 5 DAYS WAS SPEAKING TO MY MAMA, AMOUNG OTHER THINGS: "HOW WAS YOUR WEEK HONEY??" GOOD MA, I MISS YOU, TATTOOED SOME ROYAL NAVY BOYS THAT ARE SUPER COOL, GOT ARRESTED...YOU KNOW, THE REG..."GOT ARRESTED HUH?, WHAT WAS THAT LIKE" OH MAN, ONLY I COULD HAVE A MOTHER LIKE SHAZAM!!! THE CONVERSATION WENT ON TO INCLUDE US TALKING ABOUT FUTURE PLANS...I SAID TO HER: MOM, COMING UP ON A YEAR, JUST MAKES ME WANT TO STRIVE FOR TWO. TO ANSWER, MY MOTHER, IN ALL HER PERFECTION SAID: WELL SON, OTHER THAN MY SELFISH ASPIRATIONS TO HAVE YOU HOME, I THINK YOU SHOULD GO FOR IT, STAY OUT THERE AS LONG AS YOU CAN...THATS MY FAMILY, MY DAD IS THE SAME, HOW LUCKY I AM TO HAVE PEOPLE THAT WILL THINK OF NOTHING BUT THE RADICAL GOALS OF THEIR SON. AFTER AN EPIC TALK WITH MOM & IN ORDER TO LICK MY WOUNDS I WOUND UP GOING OUT ON THE TOWN FRIDAY, TO ENJOY THE COMPANY OF A WOMAN AND DRINK THE NECTAR OF DIONYSUS, HE DELIVERED, AS USUAL AND I FOUND A WONDERFUL BUZZ, BREATHING INTO MY COLD BOURBON AND COKE ON A HOT NIGHT TO WATCH THE STEAM RISE FROM MY TALL GLASS LIKE I WAS FERDINAND THE BULL...LOVING THE BEAUTY OF LIFE AND NOT WILLING TO FIGHT, THE EVENING THOUGH, HAD DIFFERENT PLANS FOR ME.  DURING OUR DRINKS AT THE CUBAN BAR, I REALIZED SOMETHING, I WASNT REALLY INTERESTED IN THIS BROAD, AND MADE A NOTE IN MY IPHONE ABOUT WHAT I WAS INTERESTED IN, THIS IS WHAT IT READ:  

SHES INTO RECORDS AND 16MM FILM, SWEET TEA AND ADVENTURE, SUCIDE AND MONEY, LEAVING MONEY BEHIND AND THE PARADOX, LIVING TO DIE AND MOSTLY IMPORTANT: BELIEVES IN MY AT MY MOST RIDICULOUS.

ANYWAY, THATS WHAT I WROTE, IT CERTAINLY ISNT EVERYTHING I LOOK FOR, BUT THAT SHIT CHANGES DAILY...AND WILL UNTIL IM DEAD AND SINGLE. TO CONTINUE WITH OUR DATE: AS I FIRTED WITH MY DATE AND MANIPULATED HER THOUGHTS, SHE EVENTUALLY FELL VICTIM TO MY TECHNO SEXUAL MURDEROUS PLANS OF DECEPTION OF SAINT EDMOND AND TOOK ME IN HER JEEP TO HER HOME, SLOWLY SLIPPING INTO MY EVERY FANTASY...INCLUDING THE SECRETARY.  AS MY BLACK HEART LAUGHED AND ENJOYED THE FREE VODKA, COCAINE, AND SEX SHE WAS SUPPLYING ME, SOMEHOW I KNEW I WAS ON A ROUTE TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE. OF COURSE, LIKE ALL MY GUT FEELINGS...I WAS FUCKIN RIGHT.  SHE WAS ENGLISH, SEXY, AND A BIT DANGEROUS, DANGEROUS IN A "I NEED COMPLETE CONTROL" KINDA WAY. COMPLETE CONTROL ISNT MY WAY KIDS, NEVER HAS BEEN, MY HAND IS IN ALL THINGS BUT I DONT DEMAND CONTROL NOR DO I EVER SEEK IT, BUT I DO REVOLT WHEN SOMEONE ELSE DOES, AND THAT CAUSED A COMPLETE CLASH IN CHARACTER BETWEEN ENGLISH BETTY AND MYSELF, BY 230 AM, WE WERE BUCK NAKED, FUCKING, AND ENJOYING OURSELVES HIGH, DRUNK AND STILL ON OUR FIRST DATE. BY 330, I WAS TRYING TO ESCAPE, SHE WAS VIOLENTLY SCREAMING AT ME AND NOT WILLING TO OPEN THE GATE TO HER HOUSE SO I COULD LEAVE, SO I WAS CLIMBING THE WALL AND HITTING THE DARK SHADY ROADS OF MUIZENBERG TO FIND MY WAY HOME...AS I REACHED ABOUT 300 YARDS AWAY, I REALIZED I LEFT MY IPHONE, MY BABY, MY CAMERA, MY VIDEO CAMERA...MY FUCKING LIFE, ON HER NIGHTSTAND AS I SET MY ALARM FOR THE NEXT DAY BECAUSE I HAD TO WORK AT 830.  WITH A PATHETIC SIGH AND A EPIC SUCKING IT UP AND WILLING TO TAKE THE LOVE KNIFE TO THE SPINE, I RETURNED, DEALT WITH HER MADNESS UNTIL MORNING WHEN SHE TOOK ME TO WORK LATE AND I HAPPILY DEALT WITH THE EPIC BOURBON, TEQUILA, VODKA HANGOVER WITHOUT HER FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. SATURDAY AFTERNOON WAS LOVELY, I WATCHED ROCKY IV ALONE IN THE HOUSE, NAPPED, WOKE UP AND WATCHED FBI FILES AND ORDERED A PIZZA. NO ONE WOULD HIT THE TOWN WITH ME THAT NIGHT BECAUSE OF THE CRAZY DUI ROAD BLOCKS ALL AROUND OUR HOUSE, SO I SPENT SATURDAY AND SUNDAY WITHOUT ALCOHOL, SITTING LONELY AT THE HOUSE.  MONDAY MORNING CAME QUICKLY, CHRIS PICKED ME UP AT 6 AM, WE WERE IN CAPE TOWN BY 7, AT THE DEPARTMENT OF HOME AFFAIRS TO ENGAGE IN THE BUREAUCRATIC FUCKING NIGHTMARE. THE FIRST GUY GAVE ME HOPE, SENT ME OFF TO GET COPIES OF MY PASSPORT, WHEN I RETURNED, HE DISAPPEARED FROM THE COUNTER FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR LEAVING ME STANDING THERE, I HAD EXPLAINED THAT I NEEDED TO WORK ETC, THAT I WAS ARRESTED ETC, THAT I NEEDED TO STAY TILL APRIL ETC...THE LITTLE CUNT HID FROM ME, POKING HIS HEAD OUT FROM A BACK ROOM OCCASIONALLY TO SEE IF I WAS STILL THERE BEFORE SENDING SOME SUPERIOR BITCH MY WAY TO TELL ME I HAD FILLED OUT THE WRONG FORM THAT HE HAD SUPPLIED ME, AND THAT THERE WAS NO WAY ID GET A WORK PERMIT.  FUCKING HELL!!! SO CHRIS AND I RETURNED TO SIMONS TOWN, DEFEATED.  CHRIS LITERALLY REPEATED HIMSELF UNTIL I WOULDNT LISTEN ANYMORE, THAT HE WAS GONNA HANDLE IT, THAT HE KNOWS THE BOSS OF THE DUDE THAT ARRESTED ME AND THAT THEY WONT FUCK WITH ME ANYMORE, THAT I WONT GET DEPORTED, THAT I WONT RECIEVE THE $35,000.00 (USD, APPLIED IN THE USA) FUCKING FINE THAT MY ARRESTING OFFICER INSISTED I WOULD GET IF I GOT CAUGHT AGAIN.  CHRIS ISNT TAKING THE FACT THAT THIS WILL JEOPARDIZE MY MISSION, THE NEXT TEN YEARS OF MY LIFE ETC, HES ONLY THINKING ABOUT HIS SHOP, HIS LIFE AND HIS SELFISH AMBITION. ITS FUCKING PISSING ME OFF, HES ACTING LIKE, THAT BY REPEATING HIMSELF ENOUGH I WILL BECOME STUPIDER AND AGREE WITH HIM, HES HALF CORRECT ACTUALLY, BECAUSE AFTER A SHORT BIT OF HIS RAMBLING I JUST DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT HE IS SAYING AND JUST SAY YEAH YEAH AND LOOK AT SOMETHING FAR AWAY.  FACT IS, IF I DID GET CAUGHT AFTER ALL HIS BULLSHIT PROMISES...LETS JUST SAY IT WOULD END IN RADICAL YORKATRONIC VIOLENCE AND I HAVE WAY BIGGER ISSUES THAN DEPORTATION.  ITS SHIT LIKE THIS THAT SENDS ME BACK, RELEASES THE RIGHTEOUS WICKEDNESS INSIDE ME. IM PATIENTLY AWAITING ARMAGEDDON, IM BEGGING FOR IT. I WANT THE SKIES TO OPEN UP AND WITNESS THE FIRE AND DESTRUCTION OF OUR WASTED RIDICULOUS PLANET, I WANNA OBSERVE THE END OF IT ALL, THE WATER RISING, THE DEAD WALKING, THE PAIN ENDING FOR ALL OF US, THE TOTAL PURIFICATION OF THE EVIL OF ALL MANKIND. AS THE SUN GOES BLACK, AS WE ALL DROWN IN THE FIRE ILL BE SMILING, KNOWING THAT THE RICH, THE POOR, THE SELFISH AND DIEING THE SAME AS ME; AND SPEAKING WITH MY LAST BREATH: IT WAS CERTAINLY WORTH MY PARADOX OF A LIFE TO WITNESS THE BEST PART OF EXISTENCE. 

FUCKING END. TOMORROW IM HEADED TO THE DEPT OF HOME AFFAIRS AGAIN TO DO SOMETHING STUPID...IF MY NEXT BLOG POST IS IN AMERICA...OR 5 YEARS LATER IN SOUTH AFRICA...YOULL KNOW WHY; ACTUALLY YOU WONT, BUT THE MYSTERY WILL KILL YOU, WHICH WILL MAKE ME A MURDERER, AND ILL BE ABLE TO MARK THAT SHIT OFF MY BUCKET LIST!!! SO THANKS!!!???????

NOVEMBER 17TH MMXI

SO TODAY STARTED OFF AS A NORMAL DAY, MY APPOINTMENT WAS LATE, I WAS DOING BOTH FEET ON THIS ROYAL NAVY FELLA, HIS NAME IS GEORGE, HES MY FAVORITE OF THE GROUP SO FAR.  ONE OF HIS FELLOW SAILORS LOST 2 OF HIS FINGERS ON THE SHIP LAST NIGHT AND HE WAS HEADED TO THE HOSPITAL, SO, I SPENT ALL OF MY DAY READING HOMER AND WAITING FOR A CALL FROM THE LANDLORD OF THIS JOINT IN SIMONS TOWN I WANT TO LOOK AT. AT ABOUT 130 TWO COPS CAME IN THE SHOP, I GREETED THEM NORMALLY AND ASKED THEM IF I COULD HELP THEM OUT, YEAH THEY SAID, "WE GOT A REPORT THAT THERE WAS AN AMERICAN WORKING HERE." FUCKING HELL I THOUGHT, HOW AM I GONNA ANSWER THIS...YEAH THATS ME I SAID, KNOWING FULL WELL THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD FAKE A SOUTH AFRICAN ACCENT.  "LETS SEE YOUR PAPERS" HE SAID.  I DONT HAVE EM, THEYRE AT HOME, I REPLIED...THE OFFICER SIGHED AND LOOKED AT ME IN FRUSTRATION.  I WAS ALREADY CALLING CHRIS AND LOOKING FOR THE PAPER WE KEEP IN THE SHOP THAT CHRIS SAID WAS "MY WORK VISA" (I KNOW ITS NOT, BUT STILL...YOU NEVER KNOW, IT MIGHTVE FOOLED EM) IT DIDNT, I THEN MIRACULOUSLY FOUND MY PASSPORT IN MY BAG AND HANDED IT OVER, ALONG WITH THE PHONE WITH CHRIS ON IT...OVERHEARING ON THE PHONE THAT I WAS GONNA BE FINED AND HAVE TO "GO WITH THE OFFICERS." GOING WITH THE OFFICERS MEANT BEING LOADED IN THE BACK OF A PADDY WAGON ON A SWERVY RIDE ON A BENCH IN THE BACK OF THE MAKESHIFT PICKUP AND TAKEN TO THE POLICE STATION. I WASNT HANDCUFFED OR SEARCHED, I HAD MY SWISS ARMY KNIFE ON ME AND MY PHONE AND EVERYTHING TOO...WEIRD.  I COULD HEAR CHRIS AFTER ABOUT 30 MINUTES OF BEING THERE, I WAS SITTING THERE, SMOKING CIGARETTES AND WONDERING ABOUT THE TWO YOUNG BLACK DUDES THAT WERE STARING AT ME LITERALLY THE ENTIRE TIME, EYES FIXED ON THE AMERICAN WHITE DUDE. I GOT CALLED OUT AFTER ANOTHER HALF HOUR AND TALKED TO CHRIS AND THE OFFICER.  THEY INFORMED ME I WAS GONNA BE FINED 2500 RAND (317 USD) THEY FINED CHRIS THE SAME AMOUNT AND IF I GET CAUGHT AGAIN ILL BE DEPORTED AND FINED 30,000 USD. SINCE NEITHER CHRIS OR I HAD 5000 RAND ON US, I WAS SENT BACK INTO THE CELL.  SHORTLY AFTER I WAS JOINED BY AN INDIAN FELLOW AND A PROSTITUTE...YES, A GIRL IN THE SAME CELL AS 4 OTHER MEN...FUCKING WILD.  MY CELL MATES WERE PICKING UP MY CIGARETTE BUTTS, SPLITTING THEM OPEN AND POURING THE TOBACCO INTO WET NEWSPAPER AND ROLLING THEM INTO CAPRI CIGARETTES. THE CELL ITSELF WAS BRICK, THERE WAS HUMAN FECES SMEARED ON THE WALL IN A COUPLE PLACES, A TRASH CAN, A FILTHY OFFICE CHAIR, A BENCH AND A TABLE WITH A LOAF OF BREAD, 2 FANTAS AND A BOX OF BISCUITS (COOKIES). THE BEST PART ABOUT THE CELL WAS IT WAS COLD, AND I COULD SEE A PALM TREE, THE ENTIRE FRONT OF THE CELL WAS BARS, FLOOR TO CEILING, AND WAS OPEN TO THE WIND FROM THE CAPE. THE OTHER BEST THING, WAS THAT THERE WAS A HUSTLER ON THE FLOOR.  THATS JUST FUCKING AWESOME. THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS THINKING, THAT THIS WAS PERFECT!, IF I HADNT GOT PUT IN A CELL FOR AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT BEFORE I RETURNED HOME, IT WOULD BE A LITTLE PATHETIC.  AFTER A COUPLE HOURS, CHRIS RETURNED WITH MONEY AND BAILED MY ASS OUT...NOW I CANT WORK UNTIL I HAVE A WORK PERMIT, CHRIS WANTS ME TO WORK OUT OF HIS HOUSE...IM NOT WORKING OUT OF HIS HOUSE...OR ANY HOUSE FOR THAT MATTER.  GONNA TRY AND GET THE WORK VISA FIGURED OUT TOMORROW. ANYWAY, THATS MY SOUTH AFRICAN JAIL STORY, WHEN ALLS SAID AND DONE IT WILL HAVE COST ME ABOUT 4000 RAND, MOST OF MY NEST EGG I HAD WORKED HARD TO SAVE UP TO GET A PLACE OF MY OWN.  SO NOW IM HOME, IVE SHOWERED OFF THE JAIL DIRT AND HAVE KILLED A BOTTLE OF SOUTH AFRICAN WINE. IVE GOT A DATE WITH A GAL TOMORROW, IT WILL BE WAY MORE FUN IF I HAVE PERMISSION TO WORK IN THIS FUCKING COUNTRY!

NOVEMBER 16TH MMXI

TODAY I DID MY FIRST BIO MECHANICS PIECE, IT TURNED OUT ONLY SO SO, BUT I STILL HAVE TO PUT THE GRAY SHADOW INTO IT, THE GUY, JOSH FROM THE ROYAL NAVY WAS ECSTATIC ABOUT IT, WHICH FELT GOOD, I THINK IT MAY STILL HAVE POTENTIAL.  I MADE DINNER FOR TAS AND LENNY TONIGHT AFTER TATTOOING ALL FUCKING DAMN DAY, FROM TEN TO FIVE FOR 5000 RAND, I MADE SHAZAMS TACO POTATOES, THEY WERE A HIT.  THE ONLY TIME THEY HAVENT BEEN IS WHEN IM DATING LESS THAN OK WOMEN AND IVE ACTUALLY BROUGHT THEM HOME (A VERY SELECT FEW) ITS MY MOTHERS TEST, SHES KNOWS THE MOMENT THEY TAKE THAT FIRST BIT IF THEY ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER SON…ASK HER, PRETTY FUNNY.  AFTER I CLEANED UP DINNER AND KILLED A BOTTLE OF PINOT GRIGIO I SAT OUTSIDE AND WATCHED THE SUNSET OVER THE ATLANTIC FROM THE BACK YARD SUCKING DOWN CIGARETTES AND WATCHING THE CLOUDS INCH ACROSS THE NEAPOLITAN SKY, WHILE WATCHING I WAS WONDERING, WHAT WILL I DREAM ABOUT TONIGHT?, TWICE IN THE LAST WEEK IVE DREAMT ABOUT DROWNING BOTH TIMES, THE SAME DREAM.  IM SITTING IN THE MESS HALL IN A SHIP WITH THE CAPTAIN AND ONE OTHER MALE, IM FIRST MATE AND IM ON MY MAC, I THINK IM TRYING TO GET HELP THROUGH THE INTERNET SOMEHOW, WE ALL KNOW THE SHIP IS SINKING AND ALL THE OTHER CREW HAS MADE IT OUT, BUT WE ARE TRAPPED IN THE MESS HALL.  THE CAPTAIN AND I DECIDE WE NEED TO PURGE PRESSURE BY MOVING SOMETHING OR WE ARE SURE WE WILL SINK FASTER, WHEN WE DO, WATER GUSHES IN AND WE ARE FRANTICALLY FIGHTING THE CURRENT TO GET TO THE AIR POCKETS, WE CANT AND AS I START TO BLACK OUT FROM LACK OF OXEGYN IN THE DREAM, I WAKE UP.  IT FEELS LIKE AN OMEN, WILL SAINT EDMONDS END BE BY DROWNING??? MAYBE, GUESS WE WILL JUST HAVE TO STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT AYE?? LAST SATURDAY I HAD DEJA VU PRETTY BAD, IT WAS OVER AT LEAST 2 MINUTES, IVE ONLY HAD DEJA VU A FEW TIMES IN MY LIFE AND THIS TIME I FELT LIKE I WAS GONNA DIE THAT NIGHT, I DIDNT, BUT STILL WHY DID I HAVE DEJA VU UNLESS SOMETHING WAS SUPPOSED TO COME TO MY ATTENTION?? HEIDI MESSAGED ME TODAY ON FACEBOOK, SHE DISCOVERED MY BLOG, WHICH PRESENTS A DILEMMA, I LIKE HEIDI, I LIKE HEIDI ALOT, NOW THAT I KNOW SHE MAY BE READING WILL I CENSOR MY WILD ANTICS?? PROBABLY NOT, WHICH WILL PROBABLY FORCE HER TO JUDGE, BUT HEY, IF MY MOM CAN READ IT AFTER ALL THE TALK OF DRUGS AND SEXUAL ESCAPADES…SO CAN ANYONE…JUST LIKE THE WISE WORDS OF MOTHER FUCKING TUPAC…ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME.  SPEAKING OF EPIC RAPPERS, ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I TOOK WITH ME FROM READING MACHIAVELLI WAS HIS ADVICE ON THE BEST WAY TO MAINTAIN A KINGDOM AS A PRINCE. ACCORDING TO HIM, YOU HAVE TO BE THE LION AND THE FOX.  FUCKING HELL I CANT BELIEVE I DIDNT READ THE PRINCE EARLIER, ITS LIKE A BLUEPRINT TO POWER.  IT WILL INFLUENCE EVERYTHING I DO FROM HERE ON OUT.  MORE ROYAL NAVY BOYS EVERY DAY THIS WEEK, THEY ARE ALREADY STARTING TO TALK ABOUT VISITING ME TO GET TATTOOED ONCE I LAND IN THE UK…HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT!!?? I HAVE A FEELING THAT THIS WEEKEND MAY BE FULL OF TROUBLE, IVE GOT A COUPLE LADIES COMPETING FOR MY ATTENTION AND BRETT IS ASKING ALREADY IF WE ARE GONNA TEAR SHIT UP, WHICH MEANS HEAVY DRINKING, WHICH IS GREAT BECAUSE IVE GOT TO GET TO TRAINING FOR THE ARRIVAL OF BRENT FUCKING BURNS…MY GOD, THIS POOR COUNTRY…AFTER OUR WARM UP IN BALI…I FEEL FOR SOUTH AFRICA AND THE DAMAGE THE TWO OF US ARE GOING TO INFLICT, I ALREADY MISS FEDERICO JUST THINKING ABOUT IT, I WISH I HAD THE MONEY LIKE I DID IN CORSICA, ID FLY THAT FUCKER DOWN HERE IN A SECOND.  BEFORE I GO HOME, IM GONNA MAKE IT TO FLORENCE TO STAY WITH MY FRIEND.  BETWEEN RYAN, FEDE, BRENT, LAURA, ANGELINA, AND MOMIE ROSETTE IVE BEEN SO LUCKY WITH THE LIFE LONG FRIENDS IVE MADE, AT HOME ID BE LUCKY TO MAKE ONE FRIEND IN THIS SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME…IVE MADE MORE THAN I CAN COUNT, AND OF THOSE A HANDFUL THAT I WILL THINK OF FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND YEILD TO ANYTHING THEY MAY ASK OF ME UNTIL I DIE. HEIDI REMARKED THAT I AM OBSESSED WITH DEATH IN HER MESSAGE…SHE IS SO RIGHT, AND FINALLY GETTING TO KNOW ME IT SEEMS.  SINCE I WAS A BOY IVE BEEN OBSESSED WITH DEAD PEOPLE, WITH DYING, WITH FUCKING MURDER INVESTIGATION SHOWS.  I FIGURED IT WAS JUST THE WHOLE TEENAGE DEATH THING AT FIRST BUT IM NEARLY IN MY MID THIRTIES, YOUD THINK ITD PASS RIGHT?? NO. I TALK ABOUT IT AND THINK ABOUT IT SO OFTEN BECAUSE, IN MY OPINION, ITS ME VERIFYING THAT LIFE IS SHORT, AND IT IS, AND IM STILL ASTOUNDED BY HOW MANY PEOPLE I COME ACROSS THAT REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT THEY ARE DYING, AND THEIR LIFE WILL COME TO AN END SOMETIME SOONER THAN THEYLL EXPECT.  BEING THE DARK/LIGHT SOUL THAT I AM I JUST HOPE THAT I MEET AN END AS RADICAL AS MY LIFE…SOMETHING WITH SOME MYSTERY, SOME SUBSTANCE, SOME YORKATRONIC TO IT…SOMETHING SO RIDICULOUS AND BEAUTIFUL THAT IT WOULD ONLY FIT THE PARADOX OF MY LIFE.  ANYWAY, TANGENT CONCLUDED, BIG MONEY THIS WEEK AND THIS WEEKEND IS GONNA WITNESS A CLASS 5 SAINT EDMOND HURRICANE TOUCHDOWN ON THOSE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO PARTY WITH ME IN THIS COUNTRY OF SOUTH AFRICA. I MAY EVEN WEAR ONE OF MY COLLARED SHIRTS…YES, THATS RIGHT, I ONLY BROUGHT TWO, AND ONE OF THEM MAY SEE SOME TIME OUT IN CAPE TOWN THIS SATURDAY.  ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I HUSTLED A LADY, ONE HOT ONE CAME THROUGH THE SHOP SINCE IVE BEEN HERE AND I REALIZED IT HAD BEEN OVER A MONTH WHEN I CAUGHT MYSELF COMPLETELY INTOXICATED BY HER PERFUME.  NEW TANGENT…I WANT TO BE GOZER FROM GHOSTBUSTERS ONE FOR HALLOWEEN ONE YEAR, OR IN FACT, AFTER I DIE I WILL COME BACK DRESSED LIKE GOZER THE GOZERIAN TO DESTROY THE WORLD!, WHAT COULD BE MORE TERRIFYING THAN ME DRESSED IN SHINY CLOTHES WITH LOTS OF EYE MAKE UP AND LOADS OF HAIRSPRAY!!!! MY YORKATRONIC WORLD DESTROYER FANTASY USED TO INVOLVE ME RETURNING AND WEARING NOTHING BUT A PINK CAPE (WE WILL UPDATE THIS FANTASY CAPE TO PURPLE FOR MODERN FASHION PURPOSES) AND RAZOR TIPPED, LOW CUT COWBOY BOOTS;  IN MY OPINION IF YOURE COMING BACK TO DESTROY THE WORLD, MIGHT AS WELL LET YOUR COCK HANG OUT SO PEOPLE KNOW YOU JUST ARENT FUCKING AROUND. 

THATS THE END, NEXT POST ILL HAVE A FUCKING HANGOVER AND MUCH LESS OBNOXIOUS…OR MORE I GUESS...

NOVEMBER 14TH MMXI

ONE OF THE WEIRD THINGS ABOUT LIVING IN SOUTH AFRICA IS THAT THE SHOWS ON THE TV HAVE DIFFERENT NARRATORS, FOR INSTANCE, MY MURDER INVESTIGATION SHOWS, HAVE ENGLISH (OR SOUTH AFRICAN, IM NOT SURE) NARRATORS.  THE MOST OBVIOUS IS DEADLIEST CATCH, ITS A WEIRD SHOW WHEN YOU WATCH IT AND MIKE ROE ISNT DOING THE NARRATING.  THE BIG NEWS THIS WEEK IS THAT CHRIS HAS DECIDED TO TAKE ON ANOTHER APPRENTICE, SO THAT WILL MAKE THREE, AND HE IS ONLY IN THE SHOP LESS THAN 25% OF THE TIME.  SHES 16 AND WHEN ASKED IF SHE COULD DRAW SHE ANSWERED NO, WHEN ASKED IF SHE COULD TRACE SHE AGAIN, ANSWERED NO.  SIGH. THIS IS, TO ME, A QUESTION OF MY INTEGRITY IN THIS INDUSTRY, EVEN MORE SO WHEN CHRIS INFORMED ME THAT HE WOULD BE CHARGING HER 10,000 RAND AND SPLITTING IT WITH ME. SHE PROBABLY WONT STICK IT OUT, SO HOPEFULLY THE DILEMMA WILL BE DIVERTED BEFORE IT STARTS.  SATURDAY I WENT OUT AGAIN TO A LOCAL POOL PLACE IN FISH HOEK, THEN TO AN UPSCALE JOINT IN KAUK BAY WHERE IN WINTER, THE STORM WAVES LAPSE AGAINST THE WINDOWS. MY BIG DISCOVERY SATURDAY WAS THAT I CAN NO LONGER WRITE ON MY LEFT HAND, NOTES AND PHONE NUMBERS, ITS FULLY TATTOOED NOW…LAME, THANK SWEET JESUS FOR ZIGGY.  I WAS STOKED ON THE COVER BAND PLAYING REGGAE COVERS OF THE BEETLES ETC, UNTIL THE MIGHTY NIRVANA WAS REDUCED TO A COVER BAND IN SOUTH AFRICA PLAYING SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT, THE DANCE FLOOR WAS CLEARED OF ALL THE CUTE GIRLS AND LEFT WITH DRUNKEN BOYS, IT WAS SAD FOR ME TO WITNESS, SO I GOT EVEN MORE DRUNK. I FELT LIKE IT WAS THE DEATH OF MUSIC AND WAS SURE ONCE THEY STARTED A FEEDBACK SESSION TO END THEIR SET…I SIGHED AND TOOK A COUPLE SHOTS.  THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE WHOLE NIGHT WAS ME DEVILS ADVOCATING MY FRIEND BRETT INTO BACKING INTO THESE BITCHES CAR WHO DISSED HIM PRETTY BAD AFTER HE HIT ON EM…IVE GOT IT ON VIDEO TOO! AFTER NURSING A WICKED HANGOVER ALL FUCKING DAY ON SUNDAY, IT WAS SO BAD I ONLY SMOKED 4 CIGARETTES ALL DAY! MONDAY CAME QUICK ENOUGH, I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY DRAWING, AND ENDED UP WITH BIG TATTOOS FOR EACH DAY THIS WEEK, GONNA MAKE A LOT OF MONEY…GOD BLESS THE ROYAL NAVY!!!! I LOVE THOSE BOYS! THEY ARE EATING UP ANYTHING TRADITIONAL I DRAW UP, IM DOING SOME STUFF IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO, AND GONNA ATTEMPT TO DO MY FIRST BIO-MECH PIECE TOMORROW…WISH ME LUCK, GONNA TRY AND MAKE HR GIGER PROUD…I WONT…BUT IM GONNA TRY.  IM HAVING FUN, IVE GOT A FEW BUCKS, IM STILL LOOKING FOR A PLACE…BUT THE BIG NEWS IS THAT BRENT FROM BALI IS COMING HOME IN A FEW WEEKS…WHICH MEANS I NEED TO GET MY DRINKING TO PAR AND GET READY TO GET NUTS…SUPER EXCITED THAT MY FRIEND IS COMING HOME AND I HAPPEN TO BE HERE! HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT!!! IVE BEEN THINKING LATELY, HOW LONG CAN I STAY GONE?, THE FURTHER I AM AWAY, THE MORE I REALIZE I COULD DO THIS FOREVER, I HAVE TO SUCCEED IN MY GOAL TO CIRCUMNAVIGATE BUT WITH MY ONE YEAR ABROAD MARK QUICKLY APPROACHING 2 YEARS IS SOUNDING PRETTY FUCKING GOOD. I JUST GOTTA GET MY SKILLS CRACKIN ENOUGH TO CUT IT IN LONDON.  I DOUBT ILL BE ABLE TO AFFORD EGYPT ISRAEL TURKEY GREECE WORKING UNDER THE RAND, MAY HAVE TO SETTLE FOR EGYPT, THEN BACK TRACK AFTER LONDON.  FACT IS, I CAN DO IT, I CAN DO ANYTHING I FUCKING WANT TO, THE WORLD AND ITS PEOPLE ARE HERE FOR MY AMUSEMENT.  THE WORLD WAS PUT HERE FOR ME, AND IN 2012 EVEN IF ITS NOT, IM GONNA ACT LIKE ITS THE LAST YEAR OF HUMAN EXISTENCE AND LIVE LIKE A REAL ROCK N ROLLER…EVEN MORE THAN I AM NOW.  AND IM GONNA PUT THIS OUT THERE, IF THE WORLD DOESNT END, IM GONNA SERIOUSLY CONSIDER COUNTING ON MY LIFE ENDING WHEN IM 39, THATS 6 YEARS FROM RIGHT NOW, ILL HAVE TO PACK TEN LIFE TIMES INTO THAT 6 YEARS SINCE I LIVE MULTIPLE YEARS AT A TIME ANYWAY. ON A SIDE NOTE, IVE COME UP WITH A TELEVISION SHOW, IF YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW IM NUTS FOR REAL MURDER INVESTIGATION SHOWS, PROBABLY BECAUSE IM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET AWAY WITH A MODERN MURDER, BUT IF YOU ASK ME ILL TELL YOU ITS BECAUSE IM OBSESSED WITH JUSTICE.  ANYWAY, MY SHOW: IT DOESNT HAVE A NAME YET, BUT FORENSIC COLLEGE STUDENTS TRY TO SOLVE MURDERS THAT THE CONTESTANTS DESIGN…ID PAY GOOD MONEY TO WATCH THAT SHIT.  THERE WOULD HAVE TO BE UNKNOWN VARIABLES INVOLVED TO THROW THE CONTESTANTS OFF, BUT THEY COULD "MURDER" PEOPLE AND TRY AND GET AWAY WITH IT FOR CASH AND PRIZES!!!! IM TELLING YOU NOW, ITS THE FUCKING FUTURE.  THE WAY OF THE FUTURE.  THINGS ARE LOOKING UP FOR SAINT EDMOND…AND HE WILL OPEN HIS PALMS TO THE HEAVENS SOON AND DOVES AND OTHER ANIMALS OF PEACE WILL SURROUND HIM AS HE ASCENDS TO HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD, TO JUDGE AND PUNISH THOSE WHO HAVE WRONGED HIM, AND SLEEP WITH THIER WOMEN AND REWARD THOSE WHO LOVE HIM WITH KNOWLEDGE AND RICHES AND SLAVES.  DEAR READER: FUCK THE WORLD…GO START SOME TROUBLE, YOUR LIFE IS FAR TOO SAFE...STEAL SOMETHING...

IT FEELS SO FUCKING AMAZING TO BE THE GOOD BAD GUY...ITS A GREAT TIME TO BE SAINT EDMOND MOTHER FUCKERS.

NOVEMBER 7TH MMXI

IT WAS A SLOW WEEK AND I WAS BLEEDING MONEY, SATURDAY WAS NO DIFFERENT, I SAT THERE READING MOST OF THE DAY AND HELPING ROXANNE WITH THE FREE TATTOOS SHE WAS DOING.  I GOT HOME AND TAS AND LENNY WERENT THERE SO I WAS LOCKED OUT FOR A COUPLE HOURS, I MADE PLANS WITH ROXANNE AND HER BOYFRIEND CHRIS FOR A BRAAI (BBQ) AND SOME COCKTAILS THEN TO GO TO THE BEACH FOR THE 5TH OF NOVEMBER (OR GUY FAWKES DAY) TO SEE SOME FIREWORKS.  AFTER A SHOWER I ORDERED A PIZZA (WHICH ISNT BAD HERE, BUT NOTHING COMPARES TO ITALY) AND THEY PICKED ME UP SHORTLY AFTER.  ROXANNE WAS CALLING ALL OF HER SINGLE FRIENDS TO COME HANG OUT BECAUSE SHE IS A DOLL LIKE THAT AND THE NIGHT STARTED OUT PRETTY GOOD, JUST RELAXING AND DRINKING VODKA TONICS, I GOT SLIPPED A RIDALIN AND ENDED UP SNORTING THE FUCKER AFTER I WAS GOOD AND LOOPY.  6 OF US PILED IN THE CAR AROUND 9 AND SHOT OFF TO MUIZENBERG AND IT WAS PACKED WITH PEOPLE ON THE BEACHFRONT AVENUE. WE DECIDED THAT WE DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH ALCOHOL WITH A MERE LITER OF VODKA LEFT, SO CHRIS DECIDED THAT I SHOULD EXPERIENCE A SHABEEN, WHICH IS AN ILLEGAL PLACE TO BUY LIQUOR, THEY ARE PRETTY SHADY AND ARE EITHER IN THE BIG SQUATTER CAMPS OR JUST OFF THE STREETS IN VACANT HOUSES AND SUCH.  WE WENT TO THE LATER VARIETY AND IT WAS WEIRD, BEHIND A BIG CONCRETE WALL IN THE YARD OF A EMPTY HOUSE WAS A BLACK DUDE ASKING WHAT WE WANTED, IT WAS JUST LIKE BUYING CRACK IN THE GHETTO, AND SINCE IT WAS LIQUOR, IT WAS CHEAPER THAN EVERYWHERE ELSE, AND SINCE LIQUOR IS ONLY AVAILABLE DURING CERTAIN HOURS OF THE DAY AND UNAVAILABLE ON SUNDAYS (EVEN WINE AND BEER), THE ONLY PLACE WE COULD TOP UP. WE ORDERED 6 40S OF BLACK LABEL BEER AND INSISTED ON GIVING HIM MONEY AFTER HE DELIVERED THE BOOZE, HE THEN DISAPPEARED TO THE BACK OF THE HOUSE FOR A FEW MINUTES AND BEFORE HE EMERGED I NOTICED THAT HE HAD 2 DIFFERENT LOOKOUTS, ONE A YOUNG KID ON THE WALL LOOKING OUT FOR COPS AND ANOTHER AT THE GATE, HE CAME BACK SHORTLY AND GAVE US A BAG FULL OF FORTYS, THEN, WE CHECKED WITH THE LOOKOUTS AND THEY SAID TO WAIT TO LEAVE, WE WATCHED A COP CRUISE BY, GOT THE ALL CLEAR AND SPLIT.  WE THEN HEADED TO THE BEACH, MET ROXANNES FRIEND RUTH AND WALKED THE BEACH DODGING LOCALS WHO WERE RUNNING AROUND WITH CHEAP FIREWORKS (WHAT WE WOULD DEEM LAME AND LEGAL IN THE USA) IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY, PEOPLE WERE TRYING TO GET YOU TO WALK INTO THEIR LINE OF FIRE FROM THEIR ROMAN CANDLES AND CRACKERS. RUTH, WHOS PRETTY, WAS ON MY RADAR UNTIL SHE FELL OFF AFTER TALKING FOR NEARLY AN HOUR ABOUT GOD AND A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE SHE HAD, (WHICH, NOW, IN HINDSIGHT, WOULDVE BEEN A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO EXERCISE THE SAITLY RITES OF SAINT EDMOND…MAYBE ILL REVISIT HER LATER). AFTER THE BEACH WE WENT TO A HOUSE PARTY WITH SOME OTHER FRIENDS OF ROXANNES WE MET AT THE BEACH, IT WAS A NICE PLACE ON THE LAKES CLOSE TO THE GULF, HE WAS A PILOT AND INSISTED THAT I GET STONED, KNOW BY THIS TIME I WAS PRETTY WELL BENT AND DRUNK AND STUPID ENOUGH TO SMOKE FIGURING HELL, HOW OFTEN HAVE YOU SMOKED WEED IN SOUTH AFRICA? EXPECTING A JOINT, I ENDED UP TAKING A BONG HIT (WHICH I HAVENT DONE SINCE 1999 OR SO) ASSUMING I WAS HEADED FOR A BLACKOUT I JUST SAID FUCK IT AND KEPT DRINKING, I GUESS THE RIDALIN KEPT ME FROM THE BLACK HOLE OF NOTHINGNESS, COOL.  WE PARTIED TILL ABOUT 3 BEFORE TAKING A WILD RIDE HOME WITH CHRIS BEHIND THE WHEEL, I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE AT LEAST TWICE AND JUST KEPT MY FINGERS CROSSED THAT WE WOULDN'T HIT A ROAD BLOCK, WHICH I FIGURED WOULD BE INEVITABLE SINCE IT WAS A HOLIDAY, LUCKILY THERE WAS NONE AND I MADE IT HOME, CRASHED AND WOKE UP WITH A WICKED HANGOVER.  THE NEXT DAY TAS, LEONARD AND I TOOK A DRIVE AND RAN SOME ERRANDS, WE WERE ON A MISSION TO SEE MY FIRST AFRICAN BABBOON, WHICH WE DID SO WE WERE ALL STOKED.  WE RETURNED HOME AND WERE JOINED BY 10 OF THEIR FRIENDS FOR ANOTHER BRAAI, I WAS ABLE TO DRINK OFF MY HANGOVER BY ABOUT 4 SO THAT WAS GOOD.  I GOT TO BED EARLY SUNDAY AND MADE IT TO WORK IN TIME TO CATCH A YOUNG NAVY BOY WHO WANTED 2 QUARTER SLEEVES GOOD ANGEL AND EVIL ANGEL, RIGHT UP MY ALLEY, DID ONE OF THEM TODAY, DOING THE GOOD SIDE TOMORROW.  NO LUCK ON A PLACE YET, BUT IVE GOT A FEW MINIONS AND SECRETARIES OF SECRETARIES LOOKING INTO A PLACE TO STAY, IM SURE SOMETHING WILL COME THROUGH SOON, IF IT DOESNT I CAN ALWAYS KILL SOME TIME AT A SHIT B&B FOR A FEW DAYS TILL I DIAL IT IN. AFTER TODAY AND TOMORROW ILL HAVE AT LEAST ENOUGH FOR A DEPOSIT, IVE REALIZED THAT IVE NEVER ACTUALLY LOOKED FOR AN APARTMENT OR PLACE TO RENT, IVE ALWAYS LIVED WITH FRIENDS…FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING I SUPPOSE.   

NOVEMBER 5TH MMXI

BIG NEWS THIS WEEK IS THAT TAS AND LEONARD ARENT GONNA RENEW THEIR LEASE ON THERE HOUSE BECAUSE THE RENT WENT UP, WHICH LEAVES ME UNTIL THE 20TH NOVEMBER TO FIND A PLACE TO LIVE. I MADE ENOUGH FROM THE 25TH TILL THE 2ND TO PAY 2500 RAND OF THE 3500 IM PAYING FOR RENT & FOOD, WHICH THEY WILL PRORATE FOR ME ONCE I FIGURE A PLACE OUT. IVE LOOKED ON GUMTREE (LIKE OUR CRAIGSLIST) FOR A PLACE AND MOST OF THE STUFF IS IN THE NEIGHBORING TOWN OF FISH HOEK, IVE EMAIL ONE LADY FOR A LITTLE GARDEN APARTMENT THAT HAS A BED, SHOWER, BATHROOM AND SMALL KITCHEN, THE DIFFICULT PART IS FINDING SOMEONE THAT WILL RENT TO ME FOR JUST A COUPLE MONTHS. IVE BEEN RESEARCHING ONLINE ABOUT MY VISA AND HOW TO EXTEND IT, GOTTA HAVE A RETURN TICKET AND A BANK STATEMENT THAT SAYS I HAVE "SUFFICIENT FUNDS" TO TRAVEL, BOTH ARE GOING TO PROVE DIFFICULT SINCE I HAVE NO ACCOUNTS AND SINCE I HAVE VERY LITTLE MONEY AND DONT KNOW WHEN OR WHERE THE FUCK ILL BE HEADED.  THAT AND THE SOUTH AFRICAN DEPARTMENT OF HOME AFFAIRS IS KNOWN TO TAKE UP TO 2 MONTHS TO PROCESS APPLICATIONS, IM ON MY 18TH DAY IN THIS COUNTRY AND IM ALREADY RUNNING OUT OF TIME TO DIAL THAT SHIT IN.  THE PERCENTAGE ISSUE HAS BEEN CLEARED AND CHRIS JUST WANTS ME TO COVER THE INK OF HIS IM USING, THATS COOL WITH ME. I FIXED A PIECE YESTERDAY THAT THE LAST ARTIST BUTCHERED. I DID IT FREE AND THE AMOUNT OF FREE FIX WORK CHRIS IS PUSHING ON ME IS GETTING ON MY NERVES A BIT, BUT WHATEVER I GOTTA DO FOR A QUIET LIFE RIGHT? THE OTHER THING THAT GETS ON MY NERVES IS HIS MOTORCYCLE IN THE SHOP...SIGH. IVE GOT ABOUT 500 RAND TO MY NAME RIGHT NOW AND REALLY NEED TO DIAL IN A FEW PIECES TO GET MY FUNDS RIGHT. I TATTOOED A PRETTY NICE TREE ON A DUDE FROM CANADA THE OTHER DAY AND HE INSISTED THAT I DO THE WHOLE SHARK CAGE THING, IM GONNA, BUT FOR THE SAKE OF OMENS ILL TELL YOU ABOUT A DREAM I HAD ONCE. AMBER AND I PARTIED PRETTY HARD ONE NIGHT AND SHE WAS SLEEPING ON MY COUCH, I WAS SLEEPING DEEPLY AND SNORING (SOMETHING I DO WHEN I SUPER FUCKED UP), SHE SNUCK INTO MY ROOM AND PLUGGED MY NOSE AND I HAD A VIOLENT DREAM ABOUT A GREAT WHITE TRYING TO EAT ME, I WAS KEEPING HIS MOUTH AWAY FROM ME AS HE PLUNGED ME INTO THE DEPTHS OF THE OCEAN AND DROWNING ME. THAT WAS THE DREAM. PEOPLE ARE ALREADY TALKING ABOUT CHRISTMAS HERE AND ASKING WHAT IM DOING...HOPEFULLY ILL SPEND IT ALONE, I REALLY DONT WANT TO SPEND CHRISTMAS WITH AN UNFAMILIAR BUNCH OF PEOPLE AND BE MUCH HAPPIER WITH A SKYPE CALL TO MY FAMILY AND SOME GOOD FILMS. ANYWAY, IM SEARCHING FOR A GIRL I CAN BEFRIEND SO I CAN GET OUT TO THE ACTION OF CAPE TOWN, THE SHOP DOESNT HAVE MUCH SCENERY UNLESS ITS A RANDOM TOURIST BUS HEADED SOUTH ON THE CAPE. SO IN ORDER TO FIND LADIES I HAVE TO TRAVEL, WHICH IS DIFFICULT SINCE I HAVE NO TRANSPORTATION. AT LEAST I DONT HAVE TO DRIVE DRUNK, THEY SET UP ROAD BLOCKS ON THE WEEKENDS AND CHECK FOR LICENSES AND ALCOHOL LEVELS, ITS PRETTY NUTTY MORE THAN ONCE WE HAVE SPOTTED A ROAD BLOCK BETWEEN US AND OUR DESTINATION AND CALLED LEONARDS DAD TO DRIVE US THE REST OF THE WAY HOME. BRENT, MY FRIEND IN BALI, ORIGINALLY FROM CAPE TOWN HAS SENT A MESSAGE TO A GOOD FRIEND OF HIS REPORTING THAT IM IN TOWN AND WE SHOULD HOOK UP.  THATS THE SECOND TIME BRENT HAS TAKEN CARE OF ME FROM BALI AND ILL BE SURE TO RETURN THE FAVOR SOMEDAY. IM GONNA TRY AND PARTY WITH HIS BUDDY AS SOON AS MY MONEY IS GOOD AGAIN, WHICH MAY NOT BE FOR A WHILE SINCE IM FLAT HUNTING. THE WEATHER HERE IS WARMING UP SLOWLY, IVE GONE FROM 4 TO 3 LAYERS OF CLOTHING AND AM EXCITED FOR THE SUMMER AND BEING ABLE TO GO TO THE MANY BEACHES WITHIN DISTANCE TO ME. I MAY JUST BOOK A TICKET ON A TOUR BUS WITH THE HOT GIRLS ON EM SO I CAN SEE THE REST OF THE SOUTHERN CAPE, BUT AGAIN, MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND.  ALSO, ON MY SIDE MISSION TO TASTE THE WORLDS BEST ENGLISH COLONY FISH N CHIPS, THE TITLE WAS HELD BY SINGAPORE, IT VERY WELL MIGHT GO TO SOUTH AFRICA, HAVING NEVER BEEN TO LONDON ITS NOT FAIR TO HAVE A CHAMP I KNOW, BUT IVE ONLY HEARD BAD THINGS FROM THE PLACE THEY WERE INVENTED, ANY WAY, FUCKING SUPER GOOD, WRAPPED IN BUTCHERS PAPER WITH BUTTERY FISH FLAKEY FISH, LITTLE LIGHT ON THE TARTAR THOUGH...BUT WHO ISNT THESE DAYS. I FINALLY FINISHED MY BOOK ON ALEXANDER, IM SUPER STOKED AND FEEL LIKE I UNDERSTAND ONE OF MY HEROS MUCH BETTER, EVEN IF THE MAN HIMSELF WILL ALWAYS BE A MYSTERY. I WENT TO THE BOOK STORE TO BUY THE ILLIAD AND THE ODYSSEY BY HOMER, THEY ONLY HAD THE ODYSSEY WHICH I BOUGHT, BUT CANT START TILL THE ILLIAD COMES IN (I ORDERED IT) SO IN THE MEANTIME, IM READING THE PRINCE BY MACHIAVELLI, WHICH IS CRAZY, I CAN SEE WHY TUPAC CONSIDERS HIM HIS FATHER FIGURE.

OCTOBER 28TH MMXI

WENT TO KINGS OF LEON WEDNESDAY IN CAPE TOWN WITH TASMINE AND LEONARD, IT WAS SUPER FUN AND A GREAT ESCAPE INTO SOME ROCK N ROLL.  ONE THING IVE BEEN MISSING ABOUT HOME IS THE FREQUENCY OF SHOWS THAT I GET TO GO TO, IN THE NORTHWEST ITS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS OUR COFFEE, AT THE VERY LEAST WE SEE ONE BAND A WEEK, SO NOT SEEING A LIVE BAND FOR TEN MONTHS HAS WEIGHED ON ME A BIT…THAT AND THE WORLDS OBSESSION WITH ELECTRONICA. I PUT BACK A FEW BEERS AND HAD FUN. I WAS AMAZED WITH THE R20 (2.50 USD) BEERS SO I HAD QUITE A FEW THINKING THEY WOULD BE $10 AT HOME…STILL HAVENT CAUGHT ON THAT IM EARING THE RAND INSTEAD OF THE EURO. MADE ABOUT R700 WEDNESDAY AND THATS IT SO FAR THIS WEEK, BUT I HAVE A FEW APPOINTMENTS TODAY SO THAT WILL HELP.  CHRIS APPROACHED ME YESTERDAY AND I LOST HIM IN TRANSLATION (I CAN UNDERSTAND MOST OF THE SOUTH AFRICANS EASILY BUT THERE ARE A FEW THAT I HAVE TROUBLE WITH, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY USE DIFFERENT WORDS FOR SHIT THAN WE DO) BUT THE JIST OF THE CONVERSATION WAS HE WANTED TO BUST ME DOWN TO A 40% SPLIT, AFTER WE AGREED ON A 50% SPLIT. FACT IS IM A LITTLE PUT OFF BY THE IDEA, HAD IT BEEN RIGHT OFF THE BAT I WOULDVE GONE FOR IT BUT NOW, IT SEEMS LIKE HE WAITED TILL I WAS CORNERED TO TELL ME THIS, BUT I MAY BE WRONG, HE MAY HAVE JUST BEEN ASKING THAT I BUY INK AND NEEDLES. SO I GUESS WE WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE. THE REPUTATION HERE IS PRETTY WASTED ON THE LAST FEW HACK ARTISTS HE HAD IN HERE, SEEING HALF WAY CLEAN LINE WORK PUTS EVERYONE INTO A WEIRD HYSTERIA, ITS PRETTY FUNNY SINCE IM A SHITTY TATTOOER, BUT SURROUNDED BY PRESENT COMPANY I LOOK PRETTY GOOD, THAT AND IM AMERICAN WHICH SINCE I LEFT HOME HAS WORKED FOR ME IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS. SPEAKING OF BEING AMERICAN…EVERYWHERE I HAVE BEEN THUS FAR PEOPLE HAVE THE GENERAL IDEA THAT AMERICANS ARE STUPID.  FOR THE MOST PART THEY ARE VERY CORRECT, BUT HERE IN SOUTH AFRICA ITS PRETTY EXTREME.  ON THE RADIO AND TELEVISION THEY ENTERTAIN THEMSELVES WITH HOW STUPID WE ARE AND DONT SNEAK AROUND IT AT ALL. FOR THE TV COMMERCIAL FOR WORLDS DUMBEST OR MOST EXTREME OR WHATEVER THEY PUT "AMERICANS" AT THE END OF EVERY SENTENCE…"SEE THE DUMBEST…AMERICANS!!!" PRETTY FUNNY. MAN, OUR NATION HAS NO IDEA HOW FUCKING RETARDED WE LOOK TO THE REST OF THE WORLD. THEY TAKE THE EXTREME CASES THAT ARE SO ABUNDANT AND USE THAT TO LAUGH AT OUR INFERIORITY. FUNNY BUT SAD I GUESS. SOUTH AFRICA IS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL, EVERYTHING IS GREEN AND THE DRAMATIC, ROCKY MOUNTAINS, BLUE OCEAN, AND PEOPLE MAKE IT WONDEROUS…ALTHOUGH IM STILL AFRAID TO WALK MOST PLACES BY MYSELF AFTER ALL THE HORROR STORIES ABOUT BEING MUGGED AND HOW NORMAL IT IS. ITS COLD HERE RIGHT NOW AND I DRESS DAILY IN A T-SHIRT WITH A LONG SLEEVE UNDERNEATH WITH A HOODY AND MY SPY JACKET…AFTER CORSICA IN SUMMER I GUESS IM IN CLIMATE SHOCK, IM ALSO IN CULTURE SHOCK AFTER THE WOMEN OF CORSICA…THE LADIES ARE NOT THE SAME HERE AND IVE GOTTEN WAY TOO PICKY. FUCK…COULDN'T LAST FOREVER I GUESS.  ALSO SINCE IVE BEEN HERE IVE BEEN EXPOSED TO ALL KIND OF SICKNESS, EVERYONE HAS A COUGH AND THERE IS SOME CREEPY RESPIRATORY BUG GOING AROUND KILLING FUCKERS…WHICH IT CERTAINLY WOULD TAKE A TOLL ON THIS GUY WITH SMOKING AND ASTHMA AND EVERYTHING, IVE ALSO BEEN EXPOSED TO THE FLU AND COLDS AND THE FUCKING GERMAN MEASLES.  SO SINCE IVE BEEN HERE IM OBSESSIVELY WASHING MY HANDS AND DRINKING MY EMERGENCY WITH MY RED BULLS THAT WERE SPECIALLY DELIVERED BY MY LOVING MOTHER…THANKS MAMA.  SO AS OF TODAY IM HEALTHY AND HAVE A JOB WHERE I DONT MAKE ENOUGH TO PAY RENT.  GONNA HAVE TO SPIN THAT LAST BIT INTO MY FAVOR, TODAY, ACCORDING TO MY HOROSCOPE, IS THE DAY WHERE MY ASCENSION BEGINS, LETS SEE WHAT IT HOLDS…MAYBE IM SUPPOSED TO FIND A NEW JOB, MAYBE IM SUPPOSED TO STAY…TIME WILL ONLY TELL. BUT EITHER WAY IM IN SOUTH AFRICA WITH LESS THAN 90 DAYS TO FIND A WAY OUT…I LOVE THE FUCKING EXCITEMENT OF THE CLUTCH!!!

OCTOBER 22ND MMXI

IT'S SATURDAY, I MADE 90 USD THIS WEEK, IM IN SOUTH AFRICA, IM TRYING TO GET WITH A HOT TANZANIAN BROAD, I'VE GOT A GOOD BUZZ OF WHISKEY, WINE, TEQUILA AND SCOTCH AND LIFE COULDN'T BE MUCH BETTER.  IM AT A CUBAN BAR THERES OTHER TATTOOERS HERE, I HAVEN'T TALKED TO EM, IM A BIT EMBARRASSED TO TELL THEM WHERE IM WORKING AFTER THEYVE SURELY SEEN SOME OF THE WORK THAT HAS COME OUT OF HERE PRIOR. IM HAVING A GOOD FUCKING TIME THROWING BACK DRINKS AND LIVING IT UP. I STARTED DRINKING AT ONE WITH A HALF BOTTLE OF SOUTH AFRICAN PINOT, THEN KILLED A WHOLE ONE WITH RICHARDS MOM..IM GONNA SEE KINGS OF LEON WITH THE CREW ON WEDNESDAY...YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE LISTENING TO A MODERN INDIE ROCK BALAD?, IF FEEL THE WAY YOU'RE MEANT TO WHEN THEY DO THE OOOOOOOOH WHOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO PARTS. FUCK YOU IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. ANYWAY, IM BROKE, HAVENT DONE MANY TATTOOS BUT I HAVE A JOB, A PLACE TO LIVE AND IM WELL FED, SO EVERYTHING ELSE IS JUST FROSTING. SUNDAY, HUNGOVER AND ALL OF US DYING, ME TAS, LEONARD AND ADEENA (TANZANIA BROAD) TOOK THE COAST ROAD INTO CAPE TOWN IT WAS GORGEOUS WITH HUGE CRASHING WAVES AND DRAMATIC CLIFFS THE WHOLE WAY, THIS PLACE IS BEAUTIFUL. I LOOKED AT A COUPLE HATS IN THE MALL AND ACTUALLY FOUND AN ECUADORIAN STRAW, AFRICAN WOVEN PANAMA HAT, GONNA SAVE UP A FEW RAND FOR THAT WHEN THINGS PICK UP.  THE GOOD THING ABOUT THIS SHOP IS THAT IT IS THE ONLY TATTOO SHOP IN SIMONS TOWN AND IT JUST HAPPENS TO BE WHERE THE NAVAL SHIPS DOCK FOR LEAVE, SO WHEN THE GERMAN, SOUTH AFRICAN AND OTHER SHIPS TIE OFF, THEYLL BE COMING BY AND APPARENTLY IT GETS PRETTY CRAZY.  HOPEFULLY ILL BE WORKING INTO THE LATE HOURS OF THE NIGHT AND THAT WILL BE MY SAVING GRACE TO PAY FOR MY LIFE HERE.  AS OF NOW THOUGH, ITS DEAD AS ALL FUCK, WE OPEN AND CLOSE TOO EARLY (8AM-5PM) AND I HAVE TO DO ALL THE STENCILS BY HAND, WHICH IS OK WITH ME, ITLL ONLY MAKE MY LINE WORK BETTER. THE DIFFICULT PART ABOUT THIS PLACE FOR ME IS THAT THERE ISNT ANY INTERNET, SO IT MAKES REFERENCE WORK DIFFICULT, LET ALONE THE PATH FOR A NORMAL LIFE FOR ME, I SURVIVE OFF MY ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE, PLAN AND RESEARCH SHIT I GOTTA GET DONE. I CAN BUY A CELL CARD FOR MY COMPUTER ONCE IVE GOT SOME WALKING AROUND MONEY BUT THEYRE CAPPED AT XX GIGS AND THATS FUCKING LAME…GUESS I WONT BE WATCHING MY HBO SERIES I PIRATE. 

OCTOBER 20TH MMXI

IM TRYING TO GET ACCUSTOMED TO THIS PLACE, IT'S DIFFICULT SO FAR. THE SHOP IS WEIRD AND CHARGES A LOT LESS THAN ID LIKE (US $50 AN HOUR, IM QUOTING WAY MORE THOUGH), MY FIRST DAY I DID A FIXER TATTOO OF A WRECKED BUTTERFLY ON A GIRLS NECK, WHICH WAS AN AWESOME WAY TO GET STARTED BECAUSE I KNEW I COULDN'T MAKE IT ANY WORSE I WENT HOME WITH ABOUT 200 RAND (ABOUT $25 USD) SO ABOUT THE SAME AS A MINIMUM TATTOO BACK HOME, CHRIS (MY BOSS) IS INSISTING I DO A PORTRAIT TODAY OF SOME BLACK DUDES GRANDMOTHER EVEN AFTER I REPEATEDLY INSISTED THAT I DON'T FUCKING DO PORTRAITS. IT WAS SLOW ON DAY TWO AND I DID A TRADITIONAL ROSE ON RICHARD THE APPRENTICE TO GET MY HANDS BACK TO ME FOR THE FUCKING PORTRAIT THAT HOPEFULLY WON'T COME IN TONIGHT. CHRIS JUST HAD A BABY THE DAY I GOT HERE SO HE IS NOT GONNA BE IN THE SHOP MUCH AND IS EXPECTING ME TO RUN THE PLACE AN WARNING ME THAT THE OTHER ARTIST IS A THEIF AND TO SEARCH HIS BAG AT NIGHT "IF I HAVE A FUNNY FEELING" FUCKING HELL. SO BASICALLY THE SHOP IS ME, THE OTHER ARTIST GARETH (WHOS TATTOOS ARE SUB PAR) ROXANNE AND RICHARD THE APPRENTICES...WHO HAVE BEEN TOLD TO LISTEN ONLY TO ME FROM NOW ON...THE LAST THING IN THE WORLD THAT SHOULD BE DONE WITH SOMEONE AS YOUNG AS ME IN THE INDUSTRY. CHRIS IS ALSO PRESSURING ME TO LET HIM WRITE ME A LETTER TO EXTEND MY VISA INTO A WORK VISA WHICH WOULD TIE ME TO THIS SHOP. WITHOUT A SENIOR TATTOOER IM NOT GONNA GROW REALLY HERE AND SO FAR I HAVEN'T MADE ANY MONEY REALLY SO IM PRETTY STUCK, & CAN'T AFFORD TO LEAVE. AT LEAST I'VE GOT DINNER AND A BED WAITING FOR ME EVERY NIGHT WITH TASMINE AND LEONARD, THEY'RE CHARGING ME 3500 RAND A MONTH WHICH IS FINE WITH ME. I'VE BEEN TOLD NOT TO WALK ANYWHERE FOR FEAR OF MUGGINGS AND SAFETY SO I'VE SEEN NOTHING SO FAR EXCEPT THE ROAD FROM THE AIRPORT AND THE ROAD FROM THE SHOP TO MY ROOM...I CAN TELL YOU THAT THE WHITES IN CAPE TOWN ARE PRETTY RACIST IN QUIET, AND CALL THE BLACKS SOME AFRIKAANS WORD WHICH IS OUR EQUIVALENT OF NIGGER. THERE WAS PLENTY OF RACISM IN CORSICA BUT THIS IS A WHOLE NEW LEVEL, IT'S GONNA BE DIFFICULT TO IGNOR, BUT IM GONNA DO MY BEST TO RISE ABOVE IT. 

OCTOBER 19TH MMXI

AJACCIO TO NICE MY BAG CHARGE WAS ONLY 7 EUROS INSTEAD OF 50+, FROM NICE TO DUBAI TO CAPE TOWN IT WAS FREE, THE SUPER HOT FRENCH GIRL JUST SAID SHUSH AND WINKED AT ME! GUESS THAT ST EDMOND CHARMERS TONGUE IS STILL AS SILVER AS IT EVER WAS! THIS WHOLE FUCKIN TRIP IS JUST SEQUENTIAL MIRACLE AFTER SEQUENTIAL MIRACLE. ON THE PLANE I ASKED MYSELF IF I WERE TO DIE TODAY WOULD I BE HAPPY WITH MY LIFE OF 33 YEARS?, ANSWER: YES. I'VE DONE FAR MORE THAN MOST, BUT NOT AS MUCH AS GREATER MEN. IM OK WITH THAT, THOSE MEN WHO INSPIRE ME WILL CONTINUE TO INSPIRE OTHERS.  MAN, IM MOODY LATELY, IM INSPIRED THEN IM NOT, IM HAPPY TO BE ON MY WAY THEN ASKING MYSELF WHY IM DOING THIS, IM HAPPIEST WHEN IM MOVING AND I FEEL LIKE IM DOING WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM HAVING TROUBLE IDENTIFYING WITH WHAT THIS WEIRD SAD EMOTION IS!? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!!!! I SUPPOSE ITS SAYING GOODBYE TO MY CORSICAN FAMILY AND THE COMFORTS I FOUND IN AJACCIO,  BUT ALL THINGS COME TO AN END. I LOVE IT WHEN YOU FLY OVER SOME SMALL TOWN AT NIGHT & CANT TELL WHERE THE STARS BEGIN AND THE CITIES START. ARRIVING IN THE NEXT PLACE IS AWESOME, I GET TO REINVENT PERCEPTIONS OF MYSELF. ONCE THE 26TH HOUR OF AIR TRAVEL PASSED I WAS ABOUT OVER IT. I WAS THE LAST SEAT ON A FULL PLANE AN GOT OFF AFTER 30 OR SO MINUTES AND WAITED IN LINE AT CUSTOMS, AFTER THEY FIGURED OUT I GOT THERE ON A ONE WAY THEY TOLD ME TO SIT IN A CHAIR NEXT TO SOME COPS, APPARENTLY THEY WON'T LET YOU INTO AFRICA AT ALL WITHOUT A RETURN TICKET...FUCK, IM CONCERNED NOW. AFTER GETTING PASSED TO 3 DIFFERENT PEOPLE I ENDED UP WITH A GAL NAMED BARBARA AND IMMEDIATELY UPPED THE CHARM, ST EDMOND WENT INTO ACTION. THE DEAL WAS, YOU GO UP AND FIGURE OUT HOW TO BOOK A TICKET OUT OF AFRICA WITH MY REMAINING EUROS OR THEY WOULD PUT ME ON THE NEXT FLIGHT BACK TO DUBAI. WE GOT 4 OR 5 QUOTES ALL BETWEEN 700-2000 EUROS WHICH WASN'T GONNA WORK, AFTER THE SECOND HOUR OF PROBLEM SOLVING BARBARA'S SUPERVISOR WAS ARRANGING EMIRATES TO TAKE ME BACK TO DUBAI...THAT'S WENT OLE EDMOND WENT INTO HIGH GEAR, THE CLUTCH IS MY HOME!!!  I HAVE ROUGHLY 30000 MILES WITH STAR ALLIANCE AND BASED ON THOSE MILES GOT A FAKE TICKET (BASICALLY A QUOTE WITH A FLIGHT NUMBER ON IT) FROM THE CUTIE AT THE SOUTH AFRICAN AIRLINES COUNTER...NOW, I HAD TO PASS IT OFF AT CUSTOMS AND BARBARA HAD HER DOUBTS...CUSTOMS WAS CLOSED FOR LUNCH SO WE WENT INTO THE BACK AND FOUND A SMILING TALL COLORED CUSTOMS AGENT, I SAID HELLO, SHOOK HIS HAND AND ASKED HIM NOT TO DEPORT ME, HE LAUGHED AND SAID WE WILL SORT YOU OUT!, AND SORT HE DID, 4 AND A HALF HOURS LATER...IM NOW WAITING FOR A RIDE WITH A STAMPED PASSPORT AND ABOUT 2000 RAND...WELCOME TO SOUTH AFRICA.

CHRIS (MY NEW BOSS) HAD ARRANGED A TAXI TO PICK ME UP…ABOUT 45 MINUTES LATER A GUY NAMED ALEX FOUND ME AT THE AIRPORT AND STUFFED ME IN HIS AUDI AND WE STARTED DRIVING, ALL I COULD THINK WAS THANK CHRIST THIS IS A ENGLISH SPEAKING COUNTRY! HE WAS TELLING ME ABOUT ALL THE SITES AND WHAT BEACHES WERE BEST TO NOT BE EATEN BY GREAT WHITES, APPARENTLY SOME OLD LADY GOT EATEN ABOUT A WEEK BEFORE MY ARRIVAL NOT FAR FROM WHERE IM STAYING.  ALEX DROPPED ME OFF AND CHARGED ME ABOUT 400 RAND FOR THE RIDE.  THE SHOP IS SMALL AND IN AN OLD BUILDING, THERE WAS ONE GUY GARRETH DOING A BIG TRIBAL BACK PIECE AND A YOUNGER KID NAMED RICHARD AND A GIRL NAMED ROXANNE, CHRIS WASNT THERE, HE APPARENTLY HAD A BABY THAT MORNING…WHAT A DAY.  THE SHOP HAS ALL KINDS OF DATED FLASH ON THE WALLS AND HAS AS IRON SECURITY DOOR THAT HAS TO BE BUZZED FROM THE INSIDE. I STUCK AROUND FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES BEFORE RICHARD INFORMED ME THAT I WOULD BE STAYING WITH HIS SISTER, SHE SHOWED UP A FEW MINUTES LATER WITH HER MOM AND THEY SWOOPED ME UP TO TAKE ME BACK TO HER PLACE.  ITS A NICE HOUSE WITH ALL WOOD FLOORS AND EXPOSED TRUSSES AND A BIG BACK YARD.  SHE LIVES WITH HER BOYFRIEND WHO ISNT THRILLED THAT I AM HERE SO FAR, THE HOUSE IS ALSO OCCUPIED BY 2 PIT BULLS AND A CHIUAWA. ITS BEEN COLD SINCE IVE GOT HERE, AFTER THE AIRPORT I PUT ON MY JACKET, IT RAINED ALL NIGHT AND I SLEPT PRETTY WELL.  I WOKE UP TO THE RAIN AT ABOUT 5, AND SLEPT AGAIN TILL 7, WOKE UP WONDERING HOW A FUCKING TATTOO SHOP COULD OPEN AT NINE, PACKED MY SHIT BRUSHED MY TEETH AND GOT READY.  WHEN I GOT OUT TO THE LIVING ROOM ALL THE CLOCKS SAY 5:45, PISSED I LOOKED AT MY PHONE AND REALIZED THAT IT WAS STILL ON DUBAI TIME…FUCKING HELL.  SO NOW IM DRESSED AND READY TO GO BUT HAVE TO SIT HERE FOR 2 MORE HOURS BEFORE I GET PICKED UP FOR WORK BY RICHARD AND HIS MOM.  IVE GOT TWO TATTOOS LINED UP APPARENTLY, SINCE I HAVENT TALKED TO CHRIS, AND HAVENT TATTOOED FOR A MONTH PLUS IM A BIT WORRIED THEYRE GONNA PUSH ME INTO SHIT I REALLY DONT WANT TO BE DOING JUST YET. GONNA HAVE TO GET THAT IDEA ACROSS TO CHRIS STRAIGHT AWAY SO I DONT END UP DOING SHIT I SHOULDN'T BE DOING.  IM SO EXCITED TO BE TATTOOING PEOPLE THAT FUCKING SPEAK ENGLISH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW COMFORTING THAT IS, ILL BE ABLE TO SWINDLE PEOPLE OUT OF THERE STUPID IDEAS FINALLY!!! 

PEOPLE USED TO DANCE TO ROCK N ROLL...THAT'S BACK WHEN HUMANS WERE WORTH SOMETHING.

OCTOBER 17TH MMXI

SAYING GOODBYE TO MY CORSICAN FAMILY WAS TOUGH. ITS BY FAR THE SHITTIEST PART OF DOING WHAT IM DOING. LINA, MOMMIE ROSETTE HAD DINNER WITH ME ON SUNDAY, IT WAS FUN, I DIDNT GET TO SAY GOODBYE TO ANTONINO AND ALEXANDRA OR YAYA AND YOYO WHICH KINDA SUCKED BUT WHATEVER. NEXT I GET TO SPEND THE NEXT 30 OR SO HOURS FLYING AROUND AND BEING LOCKED UP IN THE FUCKING AIRPORTS.  THE CHEAPEST WAY (THE ONLY WAY) I COULD GET TO CAPE TOWN WAS BY BOOKING SEPARATE FLIGHTS, FIRST AJACCIO TO NICE THEN NICE TO DUBAI (FUCKING HELL!) DUBAI TO CAPE TOWN.  THANK GOD FOR EMIRATES OTHERWISE ID BE SHIT OUTTA LUCK. ITS WEIRD, ONE MINUTE IM COOL AND ALL EXCITED ABOUT THE NEXT PLACE THE NEXT I THINK: CHIRST YORK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!? I COULD HAVE FOUND WORK IN LONDON AND WORKED UNDER THE POUND, BUT ULTIMATELY ITS THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME TO GET DOWN TO AFRICA…AND THE BONUS IS ITS GONNA BE SUMMER THERE VERY SOON! I THINK IVE FINALLY REALIZED THAT I HAVE AN INABILITY TO FUCKING DO ANYTHING UNLESS ITS BIG, AS ALWAYS…THE FUCKING CLUTCH! I HOPE ONE DAY, ILL MEET SOMEONE WHO HAS DONE SOMETHING SIMILAR, AS OF YET, I HAVENT CROSSED THEIR PATH…ID LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH THAT PERSON AND SHARE EXPERIENCES AND GET DRUNK.  SPEAKING OF DRUNK, I HAVENT HAD A FUCKING PROPER DRINK IN WEEKS!!, YEAH A COUPLE BEERS BUT MAN…THIS KID NEEDS THE MONEY FOR A COCKTAIL! IN A LITTLE MORE THAN 2 MONTHS ILL HAVE BEEN GONE A YEAR, IN TWO DAYS ILL BE THE FURTHEST SOUTH ON EARTH THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN…I FINALLY FEEL LIKE IM FUCKING ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING. NOW, IF I COULD JUST MAKE SOME FUCKING MONEY TO FUND THE REST OF THIS WAKO ADVENTURE!!! MONEY WOULD ALSO BE NICE TO BUY GIFTS AND MAYBE EVEN SOME CLOTHES! 

OCTOBER 16TH MMXI

YESTERDAY I TALKED TO CHRIS AT A SHOP SOUTH OF CAPE TOWN, HE TOLD ME YESTERDAY ON A BREAKING UP SKYPE CALL THAT I COULD HAVE THE JOB AFTER I TOLD HIM I WAS TATTOOING MY WAY AROUND THE WORLD.  OUR CALL THEN DROPPED AND WE TALKED ABOUT NOTHING ELSE.  I SPENT THE BETTER PART OF THE DAY THINKING ABOUT WHAT I WAS GONNA DO.  I TALKED WITH MY MAMA FOR ABOUT AN HOUR GOING OVER THE FINE POINTS ON WHAT WAS GOOD AND BAD IF I COULD WORK IT OUT.  BY THIS TIME I HAD DONE THE RESEARCH ON FLIGHT COSTS, EXCHANGE RATES ETC. AND WHAT I CAME UP WITH WAS THIS: I HAVE 275 EUROS AND JUST BARELY ENOUGH ON MY CARD TO AFFORD A TICKET TO SOUTH AFRICA, (IF I DONT GET FUCKED ON BAGGAGE) ONCE I GET THERE I WILL HAVE AROUND 100-150 EUROS LEFT TO MY NAME, WHICH IS ROUGHLY DOUBLE WHAT I HAD WHEN I ARRIVED IN CORSICA.  THE CHANCE TO HEAD TO SOUTH AFRICA FOR THEIR SUMMER SEASON IS FUCKING THRILLING TO ME, AND SINCE IT WAS ON MY ORIGINAL PLAN OF PLACES TO GO ITS MAKING ME FEEL A BIT LESS BUMMED ABOUT MISSING INDIA.  TODAY I TALKED TO CHRIS AGAIN AND THIS TIME WAS ABLE TO TELL HIM THE WHOLE STORY, HES GONNA PUT ME UP AT HIS PLACE UNTIL I CAN SWING A PLACE OF MY OWN, HE WAS SUPER POSITIVE AND LAID BACK…WHAT I NEEDED.  THE WEIRD PART IS, HE HASNT SEEN ANY OF MY WORK. DENNY CALLED ME ALL PISSED OFF BECAUSE HE READ MY BLOG (RATHER SOMEONE READ MY BLOG TO HIM) AND, ACCORDING TO DENNY SO DID HORACIOS WIFE, WHO AFTER READING "BARRED FROM COMING" HE WAS ALSO A BIT UPSET THAT I STATED SO FREELY ABOUT HIS WHOLE MESS WITH SAM. HE ALSO ASKED HOW I COULD DO SUCH A THING WHEN HE HAD BEEN SO GOOD TO ME..THIS FROM THE GUY THAT SWORE UP AND DOWN HE WOULD PAY ME IN FULL WHEN I ARRIVED FOR MY PLANE TICKET, THE GUY I TRUSTED WHEN HE ASKED IF HE COULD PAY OVER TIME, WHAT I KNOW IS THAT IF I WASNT IN A FOREIGN FUCKING COUNTRY THE RESULTS WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT DIFFERENT. IN THE HISTORY OF MY LIFE, WRITING HAS ALWAYS GOT ME IN THE MOST TROUBLE…ASK MY MOTHER.  BUT IF I WRITE SOMETHING OTHER THAN WHAT HAPPENS OR WHAT I SEE THAT WOULD MAKE ME A LEPER WEAVING LIES OF COMFORT FOR EVERYONE TO SLEEP UNDER. BUT, SINCE I DO WRITE THE TRUTH AND I DO WRITE ABOUT WHAT I SEE I DO PISS PEOPLE OFF FROM TIME TO TIME…SORRY…WELL NOT REALLY.  ANYWAY, SO THATS THAT…TOMORROW IM BOOKING A TICKET AND VERY SOON ILL BE SAYING MY GOODBYES TO MY CORSICAN FAMILY AND HEADED TO CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA. FUCKING PROGRESS. I HAVE TO ADMIT, LEAVING IN LESS THAN 36 HOURS NOW, IM A BIT NERVOUS, THIS IS PROBABLY THE BIGGEST RISK IVE TAKEN ON THIS TRIP AND IM PUTTING IT ALL IN THE HANDS OF A GUY I DONT KNOW, I HOPE NO ONE EVER DISCREDITS MY FAITH IN THE HUMAN RACE…EITHER WAY, ILL NEVER FUCKING STARVE…LETS DO THIS SHIT.

OCTOBER 15TH MMXI

OCTOBER 13TH MMXI

OCTOBER 11TH MMXI

THIS CIRCUMNAVIGATION THING IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART…IN THE HISTORY OF MY LIFE I ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO TAKE EVERYTHING TO EXCESS, THATS WHAT DEFINES ME THE MOST I GUESS.  THAT DOESNT MAKE IT ANY LESS OF A PAIN IN THE ASS TO DO WHAT I DO.  MOST PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND THAT THIS ISNT A FUCKING VACATION…THIS IS A ALL OR NOTHING ADVENTURE AND HAS TAKEN EVER OUNCE OF ME TO CONTINUE. TRAVELING WEST IVE CROSSED 15 OF THE 24 MAJOR MERIDIANS OF THE WORLD, ITS WEIRD, MY GOAL IS  ONLY 9 LONGITUDE LINES AWAY WHICH IS ENCOURAGING…BUT THEN AGAIN IVE GOT TO MAKE THE MONEY I NEED TO CROSS THOSE LAST FEW.IVE BEEN SITTING HERE SINCE SEPTEMBER 27TH CONSTANTLY WRITING, EDITIING VIDEO OR WATCHING CHOPPY MURDER INVESTIGATION VIDEOS ON THE INTERNET IN THE CONFINES OF MY ROOM, I GET OUT OF THE DARK MUSTY CREATIVE DUNGEON AROUND 6PM EVERY NIGHT TO EAT DINNER WITH ROSETTE.  AS OF TODAY IVE HAD 3 OFFERS IN THE UK, AND NOTHING SOLID FROM SOUTH AFRICA.  MY LEADS THROUGH ANDRE AND WRATHS FRIEND SNAKEFACE HAVE PUT ME AT A DEAD END, IVE SPOKEN TO BOTH OF THE TWO GUYS RECOMMENDED TO ME, PAUL, HE WAS RAD, WHILE HE DIDNT HAVE THE ROOM FOR ME NOW BUT HE POSTED SOMETHING UP ON A LOCAL BOARD DOWN THERE AND CALLED A FEW OF HIS FRIENDS FOR ME.  RONALD PRETTY MUCH SAID THE SAME THING AND THAT HE WOULD MAKE SOME CALLS ON MY BEHALF. THATS WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THE REAL TATTOO INDUSTRY, ITS LIKE THE FUCKING MAFIA…THIS IS YORK, A FRIEND OF OURS…TOO BAD THEY DONT UNDERSTAND THAT HERE IN CORSICA, BUT I GUESS THATS WHAT YOU GET FROM A SHOP RUN BY GUYS WHO DONT TATTOO.  ANDRE IS RINGING IN MY EARS ALWAYS WITH HIS WARNINGS EARLY IN MY APPRENTICESHIP…"NEVER WORK FOR A NON-TATTOOER." GUESS ILL REMEMBER THAT NOW.  IM EXHAUSTED FROM LOOKING FOR WORK, AND ITS DIFFICULT TO KEEP POSITIVE AND MOTIVATED, THE WHOLE THING ABOUT SOUTH AFRICA IS I WILL GO IN RICH BUT LEAVE POOR…THAT IS IF I CAN MAKE IT THERE WITH ANY MONEY LEFT AT ALL.  IM PRETTY CONFUSED, LONDON ON THE OTHER HAND WOULD GIVE ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO WORK ON THE POUND BUT WOULD MEAN ID HAVE TO BACK TRACK TO SEE EGYPT ETC. MY GUT ISNT REALLY TELLING ME ANYTHING EITHER, USUALLY I CAN JUST CLOSE MY EYES AND FIND MY WAY…FUCKING HELL!!! WHEN I GET HOME IM GONNA TRY AND FOCUS ON THE THINGS I WANT…LIKE TAKING PIANO LESSONS OR SOMETHING.  SO OFTEN PEOPLE DISCOUNT THEIR ABILITY TO LEARN BECAUSE OF THE STIGMA OF AGE AND SOCIETIES NORMS…FUCK THAT…IM GONNA KEEP GOING IN MY LIFE LIKE IM 18 UNTIL IT KILLS ME, AND HOPEFULLY IT DOES BECAUSE I REALLY DONT WANNA SEE HOW CRAZY I END UP WHEN IM OLD, COULD YOU IMAGINE HOW COMPLICATED DEMENTIA WOULD BE WITH A HISTORY OF LSD…JESUS THE HIPPY GENERATION OF OLD FOLKS HOMES IS GONNA BE FUCKING WILD!  I SENT AN EMAIL TO THE CIRCUMNAVIGATORS CLUB, A RITZY CLUB WITH YEARLY DUES AND A LIST OF AMAZING MEMBERS LIKE PRESIDENT TAFT AND HOUDINI, I HAVE TO FIND A MEMBER SPONSOR AND A MEMBER TO SECOND MY APPLICATION ONCE IVE MADE IT HOME AND THEN THEY HAVE TO TAKE IT TO THE COUNCIL…ITS LIKE THE SKULL N BONES OR SOMETHING. IN MY EMAIL, I NOTED THAT I WAS TATTOOED HEAVILY AND CERTAINLY NOT THEIR AVERAGE MEMBER, HOPEFULLY THEYLL GET BACK TO ME AND SAY ITS ALL GOOD…I REALLY WANNA BE IN THAT CLUB.

DURING THE TIME I LIVED AT JIMMYS FOR ONE OF THOSE FULL YEARS I WROTE DOWN THE MUSIC I LISTENED TO EVERYDAY WHILE I WAS DRIVING, AND RECOGNIZED A PATTERN, THAT WHEN THINGS ARE GOOD, YOU TEND TO LISTEN TO DARKER MUSIC AND THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE WHEN YOURE NOT DOING GOOD. WHAT THAT MEANS TO ME IS, THE HUMAN CONDITION IS A STRANGE ONE, AND IN MOMENTS OF SPLENDOR OR DESPAIR YOU ALWAYS KNOW DEEP DOWN THAT YOU NEED TO PREPARE FOR THE OPPOSITE.  IN MY LIFE IM STILL WAITING TO SEE WETHER IM THE HERO OR THE VILLAIN IN THESE STORIES OF MINE…GUESS WE WONT KNOW TILL THE END.  EITHER WAY, "MURUM ARIES ATTIGIT."

OCTOBER 9TH MMXI

I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO, UNFORTUNATELY THAT WOULD PROBABLY LAND ME IN A CORSICAN JAIL, ID LIKE TO LIVE BY: WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS…PUT THOSE FUCKERS IN THE FREEZER OVERNIGHT THEN THROW THEM AT THE HEADS OF YOUR ENEMIES…BUT I CHOOSE NOT TO, NOT BECAUSE OF FEAR OF IMPRISONMENT OR ANYTHING ELSE, BUT BECAUSE I KNOW THAT WHEN SOMEONE FUCKS ME OVER IT WILL CERTAINLY COME BACK TO THEM TEN FOLD, I ALSO KNOW THAT ITS AN OPPORTUNITY TO PROVE WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF. JOB HUNTING ABROAD SUCKS.  I SPEND MOST OF MY MORNING READING THE SAME FEW POSTS AND TRYING TO FIND ARTISTS WANTED FORUMS THAT CONCENTRATE ON WORKING ABROAD…NOT MANY.  IVE SENT OUT AT LEAST 50 EMAILS SO FAR AND PUT UP 5 OR 6 POSTS AND HAVE GOTTEN ONE RETURN EMAIL SO FAR FROM A GUY IN LONDON…FUCK MAN, I DONT HAVE THE CLOTHES FOR A COLD WINTER, BUT IF THATS WHAT IT TAKES ILL FUCKING DO IT.  BEST PART IS, IF I DO GET OUT OF THE EU VISA ZONE FOR 90 DAYS I GET ANOTHER 90 TO FUCK OFF WITH.  IM REALLY HOPING FOR A JOB IN SOUTH AFRICA OR THE CANARY ISLANDS OR MALTA OR SOMETHING…I CAN DREAM RIGHT!!! NOTHING IS EVER TOO FAR OUT OF MY REACH THOUGH…I CAN FUCKING DO THIS.  BEEN EDITING VIDEO STILL IN BETWEEN, ITS STARTING TO COME TOGETHER EXCEPT IM HAVING TROUBLE PICKING MUSIC…ITS HARD TO NAIL SOMETHING UP BEAT AND FUN THAT REALLY DEFINES BEING WITH MY MOM AND DAD.  IM PISSED THAT I DIDNT GET ANY FOOTAGE OF US SAYING GOODBYE EITHER…WANKER.  I THINK ABOUT CORALIE, ID LOVE TO SLEEP WITH HER ONE MORE TIME BEFORE I GO…I KNOW THERE WILL BE A ZILLION OTHERS, BUT STILL, THAT WAS PRETTY AMAZING SEX.  I GUESS IM GETTING OFF EASY THIS WAY.  IM FUCKING BORED OUT OF MY MIND! I HAVENT GONE TO THE BEACH SINCE MY BIRTHDAY A WEEK AGO, I DONT WANT TO WASTE MY GAS.  I HAVENT WRITTEN MUCH ELSE ON MY SCREENPLAY, I KINDA WANT TO GET THE VIDEO DONE FIRST, I GOT A LOT OF INSPIRATIONAL STUFF TO WATCH TOO, MOSTLY GUY RITCHIE FILMS AND A COUPLE OF OLD DETECTIVE MOVIES.  DID YOU KNOW THAT THE MALTESE FALCON WAS WRITTEN IN A TACOMA HOTEL ROOM DOWNTOWN?? COOL HUH? I WISH I COULD JUST FALL ASLEEP AND WAKE UP WITH A JOB AND A BUNCH OF MONEY; OR JUST A BUNCH OF MONEY AND TRAVEL WITH NO JOB TILL I GO BROKE AGAIN.  FUCKING HELL, IT BE SO MUCH EASIER IF I WASNT SO DAMN STUBBORN AND WOULD JUST HEAD HOME. FACT IS, I AM STUBBORN AND I DO WHAT I SAY IM GONNA DO, OTHERWISE I WOULDN'T BE THE MAN THAT I WANT TO BE.  STILL, THE LAZY PART OF ME SURE MISSES MY BED, MY MOMS COOKING AND SOME OF THE WEIRD LUXURIES OF HOME…DRIVING MY JEEP, LOUD ROCK MUSIC, HAMBURGERS, GROCERY STORES WHERE EVERYTHING IS IN MY NATIVE LANGUAGE, CHEAP GAS, MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS THAT SPEAK ENGLISH, THE MOVIES (I HAVENT SEEN A FILM IN THE THEATRE IN 9 FUCKING MONTHS!) THERES A LOT OF THINGS I WOULD LOVE TO INDULGE IN, IF ONLY FOR A LITTLE WHILE…BUT ULTIMATELY I WOULD HATE MYSELF FOREVER IF I GAVE UP.  SO I WONT.  STEVE JOBS DIED YESTERDAY, IT MADE ME VERY SAD, IVE BEEN WORKING ON AN APPLE SINCE I WAS A KID, IT ULTIMATELY SPARKED MY INTEREST IN COMPUTERS.  THAT MAN CHANGED THE WORLD SINGLE HANDEDLY, HE CHANGED IT FROM A WORLD OF WHAT YOU HAVE TO WHAT YOU KNOW & CAN LEARN. AS OF TODAY IVE GOTTEN 2 JOB OFFERS IN THE UK, ONE WAY UP NORTH BY GLASGOW AND THE OTHER TODAY FROM A GUY SOUTH OF LONDON…SIGH, I REALLY NEED TO GET GOING ON THIS SHIT, IM GONNA DO THE SMART THING AND GIVE IT A LITTLE MORE TIME AND WEIGH MY OPTIONS.  DRE IS GONNA SEND ME SOME INFO IVE BEEN WAITING ON SOON TOO, THEN ILL JUST BALANCE IT ALL OUT AND SEE WHAT CAN GET ME THE FURTHEST.  

A NOTE TO MY READERS:  FIRST OFF, THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ, IT MAKES IT WORTH WRITING EVERYTHING THATS HAPPENED IN THE LAST 9+ MONTHS OUT HERE.  SINCE THINGS HAVE GOTTEN ROUGH IVE SEEN DOUBLE THE HITS ON THE BLOG, WHICH IS FUNNY…I GUESS NOW SHIT IS REALLY GETTING INTERESTING HUH? ID HAVE TO AGREE.  IVE GOTTEN A HUGE NUMBER OF EMAILS SINCE I STARTED, ASKING WHY I DONT LET PEOPLE RESPOND TO MY POSTS; THE ANSWER IS, I DONT WANT THE OPINIONS OF MY VALUED READERS TO ALTER MY COURSE, OR THE WAY I WRITE.  IN ORDER TO STAY HONEST, I HAVE TO TELL MYSELF THAT NO ONE IS READING THIS ALSO, SOMETIMES FOR ME, THE BEST MEDICINE IS TO JUST KEEP QUIET AND WAIT FOR THAT SHOCKING IDEA TO STRIKE ME WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, IF IM ENGAGED IN DISCUSSION ABOUT IT, IT JUST ISNT THE SAME.  AGAIN, THANKS FOR READING…I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!  

OCTOBER 4TH MMXI

ITS 1158AM SUNDAY, I JUST RETURNED FROM MY MEETING WITH DENIS AND REMI, SAM WAS THERE TOO, WHICH I KNEW IMMEDIATELY WOULD BE BAD NEWS.  DENIS AND I TALKED AND TALKED FOR NEARLY AN HOUR ABOUT HOW HE DIDNT WANT TO PAY ME AND HOW HE HAD TO SPEND ALL THIS MONEY ON TOUCH UPS FROM THE 8 PIECES HE CLAIMS HAVE TO BE REDONE (TOUCHED UP).  SINCE HE TOLD ME I CANT TATTOO THERE ANYMORE HE IS PAYING THE OTHER ARTISTS TO WORK ON MY SHIT…WHICH WOULDN'T HAPPEN IF THEY KEPT ME ON. I STOOD MY GROUND FOR AS LONG AS I COULD, SAM WAS TRYING TO PUSH IT INTO A FIGHT, STICKING HER FAT ASS INTO THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN TRANSLATIONS TO SCREAM AT ME.  THE SHORT OF IT IS, I GOT FUCKED.  OF THE NEARLY 800 EUROS THEY OWE ME, THATS DOCUMENTED AND PROMISED REPEATEDLY, THEY PAIDED ME 200.  SO NOW I HAVE NO WAY TO GET OFF THIS ISLAND, WHICH ISNT SO BAD, IVE GOT FAMILY AND A GIRLFRIEND, BUT NO JOB, NO WAY TO PAY RENT NEXT MONTH.  I REALLY NEED TO GO, BUT AFTER ALL THE YELLING AND SHIT IM SERIOUSLY QUESTIONING MY PURPOSE IN TATTOOING, IVE BEEN TOLD, AT THIS STAGE TOUCH UPS ARE NORMAL AND FREQUENT, AND IF IVE DONE 100'S OF TATTOOS AND ONLY 8 CAME BACK THATS NOT SO BAD.  OR IS IT? THE ONE THING IM SURE OF, IS I AM FUCKING SO SICK OF ALL THE DRAMA THAT COMES WITH TATTOO SHOPS.  THE ONE EXCEPTION IS BTP BACK HOME, NO DRAMA THERE.  I GUESS THERE WASNT ANY DRAMA IN THAILAND OR SINGAPORE EITHER.  BUT 2 OUTTA 5 IS A PRETTY SHITTY RATIO.  I GUESS THE PART THAT SUCKS THE WORST, IS THAT THE WORD OF A MAN ISNT WORTH SHIT HERE.  DENIS BROKE HIS WORD TO ME 2 TIMES, I DONT KNOW HOW A PERSON COULD LIVE WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT.  I CERTAINLY WOULDN'T THINK TWICE ABOUT IT, EVEN IF IT PUT ME IN JEOPARDY.  NEXT IS TELLING MY PARENTS AND ANGIE AND ROSETTE, ALL OF WHICH ARE GOING TO SCREAM AND HOWL ABOUT IT AND MAKE ME FEEL WORSE.  HERE I AM, ITS MIRACLE TIME AGAIN…INSERT SAPPY REFLECTIVE MUSIC HERE.  I SAT IN THE DARK AFTER DINNER LISTENING TO MASTODON AND HAVING FUN SEEING WHICH WAS BLACKER EYES CLOSED OR EYES OPEN, I COULDN'T DECIDE.  IVE DECIDED RATHER THAN GO INSANE IM GONNA PUT MY TIME TO GOOD USE, TOMORROW IM GONNA GO GET CIGARETTES ENOUGH TO LAST ME THE WEEK AND THEN START TWO PROJECTS, ONE, GONNA WRITE THE NOIR FILM THATS BEEN TAKING UP SO MUCH SPACE IN MY BRAIN FOR THE LAST COUPLE YEARS AND TWO, EDIT THE ITALIAN FOOTAGE, AT LEAST EDITING THE ITALY FOOTAGE WILL BRING ME BACK TO HOW PERFECT SEPTEMBER WAS BEFORE I GOT BACK TO CORSICA.  I HATE THE ENERGY OF OTHER PEOPLE SOMETIMES, SO MANY PEOPLE ARE READY TO BETRAY YOU AND DRAG YOU DOWN INTO THE MISERABLE LIVES THEYVE FOUND THEMSELVES IN.  REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE A KID AND YOUD PUT A BUCKET OVER YOUR HEAD AND HAVE YOUR FRIENDS HOLD YOU UNDERWATER, BREATHE THE CAPTURED AIR AND MARVEL AT YOUR MAKESHIFT DEEP SEA DIVER SUIT?, THATS KINDA HOW I FEEL SOMEHOW. MY DAD SAID DIOGENES CARRIED A LANTERN HIS WHOLE LIFE AND NEVER FOUND AN HONEST MAN…I HAVE FOUND MANY, BUT, AT THE SAME TIME I FOUND FOUND TEN FOLD MORE DISHONEST MEN. IS THAT WHAT THE WORLD IS MADE UP OF?, 1 IN 5 ARE HONEST MEN?, MEN THAT WILL DO WHATS RIGHT, NOT BY SOCIETY BUT BY THEIR HEARTS? NO WONDER THIS RIDICULOUS PLANET IS IN SUCH A FUCKING MESS. MY FIRST DAY OF WRITING WAS A SUCCESS, I WOKE UP, GOT MY RED BULL AND STARED AT ZIGGY FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR SKIPPING THROUGH MUSIC TO GET ME STARTED…I WORKED ON VIDEO IN BETWEEN BEFORE TAKING A NAP, WAKING UP, PUTTING DOWN A COUPLE BEERS, GOING TO THE BOLANGERIE BEFORE RETURNING TO HOME AND LIKE LIGHTNING, SPENDING THE NEXT COUPLE HOURS WRITING FERVENTLY IN ZIGGY WILD IDEAS AND SHOTS TO BEGIN MY SCENE.  I CANT WAIT TO HAVE A WORKING OUTLINE TO SEND TO MY DAD.  I HAVENT BEEN INSPIRED LIKE THIS IN AGES…IT FEELS GOOD, AND IS GIVING ME A SENSE OF PURPOSE…MAYBE ALL OF THIS IS HAPPENING FOR A REASON, I KNOW IT IS, WHAT I SHOULDVE SAID WAS: MAYBE ALL OF THIS IS HAPPENING FOR THAT FUCKING REASON!!!  TODAY IS TUESDAY NOW, I WOKE UP AFTER A LATE NIGHT OF EDITING AND RAN DOWN TO THE STORE FOR A RED BULL, GOT HOME AND GOT A CALL FROM CORALIE, (SHES BEEN SILENT ON TEXT MESSAGES SINCE SATURDAY NIGHT AFTER I SAW HER) WE TALKED (MORE OR LESS, ITS REALLY DIFFICULT ON THE PHONE) HER AUNT DIED THAT NIGHT, HER PARENTS ARE PISSED OFF AT HER FOR DATING ME AND ULTIMATELY SHE SAID IT WASNT GONNA WORK…CANT SAY THIS IS A RECORD RELATIONSHIP FOR ME…8 DAYS, DEF NOT MY SHORTEST.  NOT EXACTLY BROKE UP ABOUT IT, IF ANYTHING ITLL BE WAY EASIER TO LEAVE NOW.  FUCKING HELL, THE HITS JUST KEEP ON COMING!!!!

YOU KNOW THE BEST PART OF DATING A GIRL FROM EUROPE?, I DIDNT HAVE TO WORRY IF HER FAMILY WAS FUCKING REPUBLICAN. SIGH.

OCTOBER 1ST MMXI

AFTER ALL THE CHAOS THAT WAS MY BIRTHDAY I SPENT THE NEXT FEW DAYS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT SOME SOLUTIONS TO THIS WHOLE MONEY DEBACLE. I PUT IN SOME FUCKING NETWORKING EMAILS TO BRENT IN BALI (WHOS FROM SOUTH AFRICA) AND A FRIEND OF ANDRE AND WRATHS THAT I KNOW THROUGH SELLING KNOCKOUT LETTERING.  ANDRE QUICKLY PICKED UP THE CAUSE AND GOT ME SOME CONTACTS IN A FEW PLACES SO THAT I CAN KEEP WORKING ON SHIT.  MY DAD IS MAKING A FEW CALLS TOO; TO SOME FOLKS THAT HAVE FRIENDS AROUND.  AGAIN, AND I KNOW THIS IS GETTING OLD…BUT THESE PEOPLE I HAVE IN MY LIFE, THEY ARE MY LIFE! THEY ARE THE DRIVE THAT MAKES ME WANT TO REACH THE TOP AND HAVE LOADS OF CARS AND HAPPINESS TO SHOWER ALL OVER THEIR FUCKING LIVES! IVE PUT IN QUITE A FEW EMAILS TO SHOPS AROUND THE WORLD AND AM CALCULATING IF I CAN EVEN AFFORD TO GET THERE AND AT LEAST FLOAT MYSELF FOR A COUPLE WEEKS FOR FOOD AND ACCOMMODATION…WHICH IS PRETTY MUCH FORCING MY HAND TO GO SOMEWHERE THAT MY MONEY (BOTH DOLLAR AND EURO) IS WORTH AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, GOOD ON THE ENTRY, BAD FOR THE EXIT…BUT FUCK THE EXIT ANYWAY.  IVE BEEN THINKING, IF I DONT SPEND AT LEAST 365 DAYS OUT OF THE USA THIS TRIP WAS COWARDLY.  SO THATS WHAT I WILL DO, IM NOT GONNA RETURN WITH OUT 1 YEAR AND FUCKING EGYPT.  I DONT CARE IF IT KILLS ME AND I HAVE TO FUCKING JOIN THE ISRALI ARMY TO GET CLOSE AND CONVERT TO JUDAISM (OK BAD IDEA CONSIDERING ILL BE HEADING TO SOME PLACES THAT DONT LOVE THE JEWS), I HAVE TO STICK BY MY WORD…MOST OF THE TIME ITS ALL I HAVE.  ITS PRETTY HARD FOR ME TO JUST HAVE NOTHING TO DO, USUALLY IN MY LIFE I TURN TO HUSTLING AND DRUGS WHEN I DONT HAVE A JOB, CANT REALLY DO IT ON THIS FRENCH SPEAKING ISLAND…OR CAN I? WOMEN ARE MY EASIEST VICTIMS AND BEING THAT IM IN A RELATIONSHIP IT MAKES IT PRETTY DIFFICULT…YEAH YEAH…I CAN HEAR YOU TALKING SHIT NOW, FACT IS, IM STILL THE MONSTER INSIDE, IM JUST SICK OF WORRYING EVERY TIME I SLEEP WITH A BROAD WHETER OR NOT MY DICKS GONNA FUCKING EXPLODE.  IM TAKING A BREAK FROM THE STRESS OF MY SEXUAL ESCAPADES, THERE IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT SHIT I GOTTA CONCENTRATE ON RIGHT NOW…LIKE FOOD IN NOVEMBER.  THE WEAK PART OF ME IS SITTING HERE LOOKING AT THIS TWENTY YEAR OLD DARK EYED BOMBSHELL AND WONDERING WHAT A FUTURE WOULD BE LIKE, ITS ONLY NATURAL I SUPPOSE, BUT GOES AGAINST ALL THE SHIT IVE PREACHED IN THE LAST COUPLE YEARS, BUT JUST THOUGHT ID PUT THAT OUT THERE IN CASE I GET STRUCK BY LIGHTNING AND MAKE SOME REALLY RASH DECISIONS. SO ANYWAY, IM ALTERING THE PLAN TO INCLUDE MY NEXT TATTOOING DESTINATION, THEN EGYPT, THEN LONDON…GRANTED I WILL SHOW UP IN LONDON WITH ONLY LINT IN MY POCKETS, BUT, THIS WAY I CAN PUT OFF MERRY OLE LONDON TOWN TILL IT STARTS TO GET SUNNY AGAIN UP NORTH, WHICH, IN THE WORST CASE, WOULD AT LEAST MAKE IT EASIER TO SLEEP ON THE STREETS. TRUTH IS IM SICK OF FRENCH, IT EXHAUSTS ME, IT WOULD BE WONDERFUL TO JUST GO SOMEWHERE WHERE AT LEAST A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF THE PEOPLE SPEAK ENGLISH.  GOD THAT SOUNDS LIKE DISNEYLAND TO ME. TODAY I SLEPT IN, SEWED 3 NEW PATCHES ON MY BAG AND DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TILL ABOUT FIVE, I PLAYED WITH ANTONINO FOR A MINUTE, THEN ATE WITH THE FAMILY THEN RAN DOWN TO ELECLERC TO GIVE CORALIE A KISS AFTER SHE GOT OFF WORK.  NOW IM HOME AGAIN, I HAVE EXHAUSTED MY FILM SUPPLY AND HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO WATCH…ITS SO WEIRD, IM HAPPY AND PISSED OFF ABOUT THIS WHOLE SITUATION BUT I STILL WANNA MILK IT AS LONG AS I CAN.  MY BACKUP PLAN FOR MONEY IS THAT DENIS OWES ME 788 EUROS, TODAY HE SAID HE WOULD ONLY PAY ME 400…WHICH REALLY FUCKS ME, WE ARE GONNA MEET ABOUT IT TOMORROW AND HOPEFULLY MY CHARM WILL OPEN UP HIS WALLET THE REST OF THE WAY.  IF IT DOESNT, THATS TWO TIMES HE HAS BROKEN HIS WORD TO ME, IT MAY GET UGLY, IM GONNA DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER SO THAT IT DOESNT…SO LETS HOPE IT WONT.

SEPTEMBER 30TH MMXI (ST EDMONDS DAY +1)

SO ITS OFFICIALLY FUCKING OFFICIAL.  TODAY I SAT DOWN WITH SAM AND LEARNED THAT SHE (AND DENNY) DIDNT WANT ME TO TATTOO AT THE SHOP ANYMORE.  SAM WENT ON AND ON WITH HER HYPOCRITICAL NONSENSE FOR WHAT SEEMED LIKE HOURS, REPEATING THE SAME COUPLE POINTS OVER AND OVER AND ENDING WITH "YOU JUST CANT TATTOO HERE ANYMORE." DENNY, WHO IS NOW STILL MY FRIEND, WOULD AGREE, AND ITS HARD NOT TO THINK THAT THIS IS ULTIMATELY ALL HER DOING.  SO FUCK IT, IM DONE AT THIS SHOP IN AJACCIO.  I DONT NEED THE REAL MOTIVES, I DONT REALLY CARE WHAT THE UNDERLYING REASONING IS. I DROVE HOME LISTENING TO MUSIC, EXCITED TO SEE MY CORALIE AND HAD A STRANGE SENSE OF RELIEF.  ANOTHER WILD YORKATRONIC ADVENTURE IS JUST BEGINNING. IM HAPPY IT WENT DOWN THIS WAY, DENNY WAS VERY CIVIL, EVEN IF HE DID INVITE ME TO STAY AND IS BREAKING HIS WORD TO ME, EVEN THEN, I FORGIVE HIM, BECAUSE ITS SEEMS TO ME, HE IS NOT SPEAKING ENTIRELY FOR HIMSELF.  I SAY THIS, MOSTLY BECAUSE YESTERDAY AT LUNCH, HE SAID I COULD DO SMALL TATTOOS, KANJI, WHATEVER…AND SAMANTHA QUICKLY WHISPERED SOMETHING TO HIM BEFORE HE CHANGED HIS TUNE.  THE LESSON HERE?, WATCH YOUR BACK WHEN A WOMAN IS FUCKING YOUR BOSS.  SO NOW, IM KEEPING QUIET TO THE FAMILY AND DENNY (AND ESPECIALLY CORALIE) ON WHAT IT IS EXACTLY IM GONNA DO, I KNOW IM LEAVING JUST DONT KNOW WHERE YET. I CALLED MOM AND DAD TO GIVE THEM THE NEWS, I WAS VERY UPBEAT AND POSITIVE, WHICH I STILL AM, THEY, AS ALWAYS, WERE SUPPORTIVE AND REAFFIRMED THE THINGS I ALREADY KNOW…IM CAPABLE, SMART AND PERFORM BETTER IN THE FUCKING CLUTCH.  THE RISE OF SAINT EDMOND HAS BEGUN.  ANGIE AND ROSETTE ARE SO FUCKING PISSED OFF ITS CRAZY, SHE KEPT SAYING, IF DENNY DID THIS TO A CORSICAN MAN, HE WOULD DIE…CORSICAN MEN DO NOT BREAK THEIR PROMISES! FUCKING HEATED!! I KEPT TELLING HER IN MY ST EDMOND KINDA WAY…THIS IS GODS WORK, WATCH WHERE I LAND.  ALTHOUGH I DONT BELIEVE IN GOD, I KNOW IN MY HEART, THIS IS THE BEST THING FOR ME RIGHT NOW, IM GOING TO SPEND MY BIRTHDAY JOBLESS ON A BEACH IN CORSICA, FUCKING HELL HOW BAD COULD IT BE!!?? ANGIE WANTS TO TAKE ME TO PARIS, LET ME LIVE IN HER APARTMENT AND FIND ME A JOB THERE, CHRIST, THIS DILEMMA IS NEARLY HANDLING ITSELF!  I HAVE FRIENDS IN PARIS, LONDON AND IN FLORENCE THAT I CAN REACH OUT TO IF I GET DESPERATE.  THERE IS NOTHING I CANNOT DO BECAUSE I FUCKING BELIEVE IT.  I BELIEVE THAT I WILL LAND A JOB BETTER THAN THIS ONE, EVEN IF ITS NOT TATTOOING, MAYBE ITS NOT, MAYBE THIS IS THE WAVE THAT TAKES ME TO THAT BIG DREAM IVE ALWAYS BEEN CHASING…MAYBE ITS TIME TO STOP FUCKING AROUND AND REALLY GET GOING ON THIS TRIP IN ORDER TO EARN  MY SAINTLY WINGS.  MY BIRTHDAY WAS YESTERDAY, IT WAS ONE OF MY BEST EVER I BELIEVE.  I WOKE UP AROUND TEN AND LAID AROUND AND WATCHED THE NEWEST SEASON OF CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM UNTIL I GOT MY ASS UP TO HIT THE BEACH.  I LAID THERE FOR A COUPLE HOURS LISTENING TO MUSIC, SMOKING CIGARETTES AND SWIMMING HERE AND THERE, IT FELT REALLY GOOD.  I WENT HOME CALLED MY MOM AND DAD AND HAD A LOVELY CONVERSATION THEN GOT A NAP IN AND WAITED FOR CORALIE TO BE DONE WITH WORK FOR MY BIRTHDAY DINNER, IT WAS PERFECT…SHE LOOKED FUCKING AMAZING WITH A BLACK DRESS AND LACE UP HEELS ALL OFFSET BY HER JET BLACK HAIR AND PERFECT FACE AND FIGURE, SHE OFFERED TO DRIVE SO I COULD GET DRUNK…DREAMY.  WE WENT TO A PRETTY FANCY PLACE GOT A BOTTLE OF WINE AND I ORDERED STEAK AND SHE GOT THE DUCK…WONDERFUL MEAL AND A PERFECT BUZZ.  SHE FORCED ME TO ORDER THE CREME BRULEE WHICH WAS JUST DEVINE AND HER FAVORITE.  WE WALKED ALONG THE PORT OF AJACCIO FOR A LITTLE WHILE HOLDING HANDS AND TALKING, BEFORE HEADING BACK TO MY PLACE.  ROSETTE WAS AWAKE AND SHE WAS SO PETRIFIED TO MEET HER AFTER MIDNIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE INSISTED ON CLIMBING OVER THE RAIL TO MY BALCONY, I WAS LAUGHING NEARLY HYSTERICALLY.  AFTER LAYING ON MY BED AND A BEER AND MUSIC SHE ASKED IF I WANTED MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT…WHAT FOLLOWED WAS PROBABLY SOME OF THE BEST SEX OF MY LIFE, STRAIGHT UP GOOD PORNO SEX. I KEPT LOOKING AT HER AND WONDERING HOW IVE LANDED PROBABLY THE BEST LOOKING GIRL IVE EVER BEEN WITH, I KEPT FLASHING MATH AND FUCKED UP IMAGES IN MY HEAD TO KEEP FROM EJACULATING…SO I PASSED OUT AROUND 4 WITH AN SMILE ON MY DRUNKEN FACE. ST EDMONDS DAY WAS A ROARING SUCESS. IVE LEARNED THAT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, NEGATIVE OR POSITIVE, ITS THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU THAT MAKE UP YOUR LIFE, AND NO MATTER WHERE I GO, I SOMEHOW FIND PEOPLE THAT CARE EVEN AFTER A TIME AS SHORT AS A FEW MONTHS, IM TRUELY BLESSED, IVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY…IVE GOT AN AMAZING GIRLFRIEND, MY CORSICAN FAMILY IS HERE, MY REAL FAMILY IS HERE (SPIRITUALLY), I HAD A GREAT SUMMER AND EVEN BETTER INSANE TOUR WITH MY MOM AND DAD…AND IM SAINT EDMOND LOVECRAFT.

THE FUCKING ASCENSION HAS BEGUN.

SIDE NOTE, I CONCENTRATED REALLY HARD AND ASKED FOR GUIDANCE.  A MISTY SCARY LOOKING FIGURE APPEARED ON THE RIGHT BEFORE ME AND WITH A BONEY FINGER POINTED SOUTH BEFORE EVAPORATING.  NOW, I WONT ARGUE, IVE DONE WAY TOO MUCH LSD IN MY LIFE, BUT, IM TAKING THAT AS THE DIRECTION IM GONNA GO….

SEPTEMBER 27TH MMXI

AT FIRST, EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT BUT, LIKE LIFE, NOTHING LASTS FOREVER.  I ARRIVED TO CORSICA WITH ITALY STILL SHINING IN MY EYES, ON MY LIPS MY SMILE COULD NOT BE DIVERTED.  EVEN AFTER A PAINFULLY LONG DAY OF FERRYS AND TRAINS TO RETURN TO AJACCIO I WAS ABLE TO KEEP A HAPPY GRIN UPON MY FACE.  SMILES AND KISSES TO ROSETTE AND LINA EXCITED TO SEE ME HOME. I WAS VERY HAPPY TO SEE MY COMPUTER, MY ROOM, BED AND CLOTHES OTHER THAN THE 6 T SHIRTS I TOOK WITH ME FOR THE LAST MONTH.  CORALIE WAS RELENTLESS IN MAKING SURE THAT SHE COULD SEE ME THE MOMENT WE WERE BOTH ABLE, SO I JUMP STARTED THE CAR TO GET DOWN TO MEET HER FOR A KISS.  SHE LOOKED LIKE A GODDESS EVEN AFTER SPENDING THE DAY RIDING HER HORSE IN AN ENDURANCE RACE, WEARING A HOODY AND SWEATS, SHE STILL TEEMED WITH BEAUTY, BRIGHT SMILE, DARK EYES THAT WERE SKITTISH AND NERVOUS.  I COULD MAKE A FILM ABOUT HER YOUTH AND WAY SHE MOVES,SMILES AND TALKS…I COULD, AT THE SAME TIME, THE REAL MOVIE WOULD BE ABOUT WHAT THAT DARK CLOUD THAT LOOMS ABOVE HER THAT NO DOUBT WILL EVENTUALLY DRENCH HER TO HER BONES, OH THE SADNESS SHE WILL HAVE, AND THE GUILT I WILL CARRY. WE TALKED FOR A MINUTE IN OUR BROKEN FRENCH ENGLISH BETWEEN KISSES AND BY THE END WERE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND BEFORE SENDING THE OTHER OFF TO BED AFTER A LONG DAY.  I RETURNED TO THE HOUSE HAD A COUPLE BEERS ON THE STEPS IN FRONT SMOKING CIGARETTES LOOKING DOWN AT THE LIGHTS OF AJACCIO.  I SLEPT LIKE A CHILD IN THE ARMS OF HIS MOTHER.  WHEN THE MORNING CAME I AWOKE RECHARGED AND READY TO TACKLE TATTOOING.  RIGHT OFF THE BAT THE MONDAY OF THE WEEK OF MY BIRTHDAY STARTED WITH MY RENTED CAR DYING (BATTERY & GAS) AT THE END OF THE DRIVEWAY AND LINA HAVING TO PUSH IT WITH HER CAR UP TO THE MAIN ROAD SO I COULD ROLL DOWN AND COMPRESSION START IT, THEN, I DROVE TO THE FIRST GAS STATION THAT WAS ON A HILL, LUCKILY IT WAS ONLY THE SECOND STATION FROM WHERE I STAY.  I SPENT 50 OF THE LAST 100 EUROS I HAVE TO MY NAME ON GAS WHEN I LEFT WITH A FULL TANK, THIS DID NOT ALTER MY MOOD, I WAS DETERMINED TO MAKE THE MOST OF THIS DAY.  I ARRIVED TO THE SHOP AND TALKED WITH PHILOU WHO HAD TAKEN OVER MY STATION AND SOME OF MY SUPPLIES, THIS TOO DIDNT FAULTER MY MOOD, DENNY WASNT AT THE SHOP YET SO I VOLUNTEERED TO CLEAN, I VACUUMED AND MOPPED AND TRIED TO SET UP MY STATION, MY POWER SUPPLY WAS MISSING, WHICH WAS STRANGE.  DENNY SHOWED UP A FEW MOMENTS LATER AFTER OUR HELLO AND BISOU KISSES AND A BRIEF HOW WAS ITALY, HE SAID THERE WERE BIG PROBLEMS IN THE SHOP WHILE I WAS GONE WITH MY TATTOOS.  I FELT THE ANXIETY LEVEL IN ME BOIL UP TO MY EYES AND ALREADY FRUSTRATED ASKED WHAT!? THE WHAT IS MORE COMPLICATED THAN YOU MAY THINK.  THE PROBLEM HERE IS THAT NONE OF US TRUELY CAN COMMUNICATE AND FINDING OUT WHY SOMEONE DOESNT LIKE THEIR TATTOO IS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT.  IT BOILED DOWN TO THE CORSICANS WANTING THINGS VERY SMALL (WHICH I CANT AND WONT DO) AND THAT THEY DONT LIKE MY LETTERING (LINES ARE TOO THIN, (WEST COAST STYLE, TO ME IS CORRECT) & THE "FLOW"  OF A COUPLE TATTOOS)  INCLUDING SOME REALLY NICE SINGLE LINE THAT I DID.  THEY GAVE ALL MY TOUCH UPS TO SAM AND PHILOU WHILE I WAS GONE WITHOUT GIVING ME THE CHANCE TO MAKE THESE FUCKING PEOPLE HAPPY, WHICH IS FUCKED ON THE TATTOOERS PART.  IT ALSO CAME DOWN TO THE PEOPLE HERE IN AJACCIO WANTING REALLY OLD DATED LATINO STUFF WHICH I ALSO AM NOT THE BEST AT. THE MOST FRUSTRATING PART IS THAT I WOULD SHOW THOSE SAME PEOPLE THEIR DRAWINGS AND EVEN AFTER THE TATTOO THEY WOULD BE BURSTING WITH ADORATION…THEN BEHIND MY BACK THEY COME IN AND SAY THEY HATE IT.  I DONT FUCKING GET IT. LANGUAGE BARRIER IS ONE THING BUT LIKING SOMETHING OR NOT ISNT COMMUNICATED VERBALLY.  AFTER IT WAS ALL SAID AND DONE DENNY BASICALLY SAID (KNOWING THAT I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO MY NAME AND IN THE CORNER) THAT I COULD BE THE SHOP APPRENTICE UNDER SAMANTHA, AND HE WOULD PAY MY RENT…NOTHING MORE.  SO NOW IM SITTING HERE WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK IM GONNA DO…LUCKILY I HAVE AN EMERGENCY PLAN (UNLIKE ME) BECAUSE IVE ALWAYS HAD A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS SHOP…ITS FUCKING HAUNTED BY EVIL INDIANS I SWEAR.  IT WOULD BE A LIE TO SAY THAT IM NOT THINKING ABOUT GIVING UP, THROWING IN THE TOWEL, SCREAMING VIOLENTLY INSIDE MYSELF ANGRY FROM THE PARTS OF THIS THAT JUST DONT MAKE SENSE, 3 MONTHS (A COUPLE MINOR PROBLEMS FIXED BY TOUCH UPS THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN WHEN I LEAVE EVERYONE COMES RUNNING?? SOMETHINGS FISHY!) AND A LITTLE SCARED OF THE DESPERATE SITUATION IVE FOUND MYSELF IN, BUT I MUST REMAIN POSITIVE…SO RIGHT NOW, IM BALANCING ON THE TIP OF MY NOSE MY OPTIONS AND SMOKING CIGARETTES AND NOT EATING.  1. QUIT TATTOOING FOREVER AND LEAVE THIS RIDICULOUS BUSINESS IN MY REARVIEW 2. DEAL WITH IT, STAY, LIVE ON CORSICA LET IT PASS OVER UNTIL THEY FORGET ABOUT THEIR LITTLE PLAN, MAKE MONEY GO TO EGYPT  (WHICH MAY HURT MY PRIDE BUT ACCOMPLISHES MY MISSION) 3. STAY LONG ENOUGH TO WRITE SOMETHING IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO WRITE, ENJOY MY GIRLFRIEND, LEAVE WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT FOR ME 4. DIVE INTO THE MEDITERRANEAN AND SWIM AWAY FROM CIVILIZED LIFE 5. FIND ANOTHER JOB IN EUROPE AND TRY TO SURVIVE THE WINTER.  THESE ARE THE ONLY AVAILABLE OPTIONS AS FAR AS I CAN SEE, ONE WAY OR THE OTHER IM GOING TO FAKE IT FOR AT LEAST A COUPLE DAYS UNTIL I CAN SEE CLEARLY.  I SPOKE TO MY PARENTS AROUND 10PM TO REASSURE THEM THAT I WILL LAND ON MY FEET AS I ALWAYS DO, IVE WATCHED NINE TWICE TODAY, IM STARTING IT A THIRD TIME…ITS TAKING ME BACK TO THE PERFECTION THAT IS ITALY.  IT WAS HARD TO HIT MY PARENTS WITH THE HARD TRUTH OF MY CURRENT DISCOMFORT HERE AFTER SUCH A LOVELY TIME WITH THEM.  BUT…I CAN DO ANYTHING I PUT MY MIND TO, AS CAN WE ALL AND I WILL PREVAIL FROM THIS CURRENT DARKNESS THAT HAS ASCENDED UPON ME…I WILL BREAK UP THE CLOUD WITH THE BEACON OF LIGHT I WAS BORN WITH.  I WAS BORN WITH ANCIENT BLOOD OF SNAKES.  AS MY DAD SAID "THERES SOMETHING ROTTEN IN DENMARK" (HAMLET, AS IF YOU DIDNT KNOW) LOOKS LIKE ITS TIME TO PLAY DETECTIVE...

SEPTEMBER 24th MMXI

THE NEXT DAY I WOKE EARLY IN ROME TO BOARD THE TRAIN NORTH, GOT MY TICKET AT THE MACHINE AND HEADED OFF...

LITTLE DID I KNOW I WAS GOING ON AN ALL DAY NORTHERN ITALY ADVENTURE BY TRAIN. I PICKED THE WRONG LIVORNO 

AND ENDED UP WAY UP BY GENOVA AND HAD TO WORK MY WAY BACK, WHAT WAS GONNA BE A HALF DAY TRIP TURNED OUT 

TO BE 13 HOURS PLUS OF SCENIC TRAIN RIDES AND NAPS. THE SHITTY PART IS THAT I COULDVE VISITED THE BORSALINO 

HEADQUARTERS AND I COULD'VE DROPPED IN ON A COUPLE SHOPS THAT ARE FRIENDS WITH WRATH-OH WELL THERE IS 

THE FLORENCE CONVENTION WHICH WILL GIMME THE OPPORTUNITY TO FIX ALL THAT INCLUDING HANGING WITH FEDE! 

CORALIE IS WAITING FOR ME IN CORSICA...SHE OFFERED TO PICK ME UP IN BASTIA. IM WONDERING IF I'LL DO MY USUAL 

AND BECOME UNINTERESTED ONCE THE CHASE IS OVER. I FINALLY FOUND MY ROOM AROUND MIDNIGHT, PUT A CALL INTO 

MOM AND DAD, GOT A COUPLE BEERS AND A MARGARITA PIE AND WATCHED ITALIAN ANIME TILL I PASSED OUT. I DECIDED 

TO STAY IN ITALY TILL SUNDAY SO IM TAKING THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE PISA. I WOKE UP T 8 WENT DOWN TO THE FERRY 

TERMINAL AND GOT MY TICKET FOR SUNDAY RACED TO THE BUS RODE WITHOUT A TICKET TO TE TRAINS AND RAN AND 

LITTERALLY GOT MY TRAIN AS IT WAS PULLING AWAY, I GOT THESE TRAINS LICKED AFTER MY ALL DAY FUBAR 

YESTERDAY...GUESS IT JUAT ADDS UP TO EXPERIENCE! MY DAD TOLD ME ABOUT AN AUTHOR THAT SAYS ONCE YOU'VE 

BEEN OUT IN THE WORLD YOU CAN NEVER COME HOME...IM STARTING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT. I MAY

 TALK TO WRATH ABOUT DOING A COUPLE DAYS IN VERONA WHERE HE USED TO WORK, I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT 

POSSESSED THE MCCLOUDS TO LEAVE ITALY! IT WOULD BE RAD JUST TO SAY I WORKED IN VERONA. THERES THIS SONG 

BY FRANZ FERDINAND CALLED ULYSSES-"YOURE NEVER GOING HOME LIKE ULYSSES" GUESS I GOTTA FIND SOME SIRENS 

AND A CYCLOPS!!!! FUCK IT!! (OK MAYBE IVE RUN INTO A FEW SIRENS) PISA IS AN AWESOME TOWN IM GLAD I TOOK THE 

EXTRA DAY TO SEE IT IT'LL FREE ME UP TO SEE MORE OF FLORENCE ETC WHEN I COME BACK. SEEING THE LEANING TOWER 

I KINDA FEEL LIKE I'VE DONE THE BIG SIGHTS IN ITALY (OTHER THAN DAVID) AND I CAN KINDA CONCENTRATE MORE ON 

THE PEOPLE HERE IN THE FUTURE, WHICH ARE THE REAL ATTRACTION PEOPLE CAN SAY HISTORY, FOOD, COUNTRY 

WHATEVER, THE CHARM OF ITALY IS THE AMAZING PEOPLE HERE, THEY ARE THE SHINING EXAMPLE TO THE WORLD, THE 

KINDEST WARMEST PEOPLE ON EARTH, I ALMOST FEEL BAD THEY ALL SPEAK ENGLISH, WE SHOULD ALL SPEAK ITALIAN. 

IT'S AMAZING TO ME THAT AFTER WE BOMBED THE SHIT OUT OF ITALY IN WWII THEY HAVEN'T BLINKED AT IT SINCE THE 

END. ITS TOO AMAZING HERE TO RUIN IT WITH A GRUDGE, GERMANY ON THE OTHER HAND...SO TO RECAP, I SPENT 

NEARLY A MONTH WITH MOM AND DAD, SAW 3 ITALIAN ISLANDS, TOURED THE MAINLAND SOUTH TO NORTH, SPENT 3000 

EUROS, ATE LIKE A GOD, AND FELL DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH THIS PLACE ALL OVER AGAIN. NOW IT'S BACK TO WORK...FERRY

TO BASTIA TOMORROW AT 8 AM.

SEPTEMBER 22ND MMXI

SEPTEMBER 22ND MMXI

TODAY IS MY PARENTS LAST DAY IN ITALY WITH ME, IT'S GONNA SUCK TO SAY GOODBYE TOMORROW MORNING BUT IM SO 

HAPPY I GOT THIS TIME WITH THEM. YESTERDAY FUCKING ROCKED, I STOOD WHERE MARK ANTHONY GAVE THE CAESAR 

EULOGY SPEECH THAT STARTED THE FUCKING RIOT, I SAW WHERE THEY BURNED CEASAR DURING THE SPEECH, SAW THE 

FORUM, THREW OUR 3 COINS IN THE FOUNTAIN, AND I GOT MY WINTER FUCKIN BORSALINO!!! ITS A BEAUTIFUL HAT AND THE

 SALES LADY KNEW HER SHIT SHE ACTUALLY MADE ME GO UP A SIZE FROM 59 to 60 BECAUSE SHE LIKED THE WAY IT LOOKED

 BETTER IT'S MY FIRST GREY RABBIT FUR FELT HAT AND IT IS REALLY FUCKING NICE, IT'S ALSO MY FIRST HAT WITH A WIND

 STRING, THE BUTTON ONTHE END IS A FUCKING SWAROVSKI CRYSTAL...IF I WEAR MY ZABATTIGLIS AND MY FUR FELT 

BORSALINO I MAY CAUSE A RIFT IN THE UNIVERSE!!!! MY DAD TOOK AN AWESOME CANDID PHOTO AT THE BORSALINO 

BOUTIQUE IN THE MIRROR TOO. SO THIS TRIP I'VE SPENT 369 EUROS ON JUST 2 HATS!, GOOD LORD IT FEELS GOOD TO 

SPEND MONEY ON THINGS FOR MYSELF OTHER THAN THINGS I NEED LIKE SHELTER AND FOOD, I NEED TO MAKE A T SHIRT

 TO MATCH MY SHOES AND HAT THAT SAYS: NOW ACCEPTING BLOW JOBS. ANYWAY!!, BEING WITH DAD AND MOM HERE 

IS AWESOME MOM AND I HAVE BOTH BEEN BEFORE BUT DAD HAS NOT SO SEEING HIS FACE THE SECOND HE FIRST SAW 

THE COLOSSEUM WAS JUST AS COOL AS THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT, WE ARE HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME AND FEDE IS 

GONNA TRY TO COME DOWN TONIGHT HE HAS A BIG COMP THIS WEEKEND IN SARDINIA SO WE FORGIVE HIM IF HE 

DOESN'T MAKE IT DOWN. IN THE LAST 24HOURS WITH MOM N DAD WE DID QUITE A BIT, HAD A BIG LUNCH, SAW THE 

PANTHEON SHOPPED A LITTLE WENT TO WHATEVER SQUARE IT IS THAT'S OVAL AND ENJOYED EACH OTHERS COMPANY. 

THE MORNING CAME TOO SOON AND BEFORE I KNEW IT I WAS BIDDING FAREWELL TO MY MOST LOVED PEOPLE IN THE 

WORLD. I CHOKED THE TEARS TILL THEY WERE GONE. WATCHING THEM DRIVE AWAY WAS REALLY HARD FOR ME, OF ALL 

THE PEOPLE I KNOW MY PARENTS KNOW ME THE LEAST BUT LOVE ME THE MOST. ON THE OTHER HAND, MY FATHER 

UNDERSTANDS ME LIKE NO PERSON EVER WILL. THE SNAKE BLOOD THAT WEVE INHERITED COMMUNICATES FOR US. WE

 HAD A LONG DISCUSSION ABOUT ARISTOTLE LAST NIGHT, HES CONVINCED ME TO READ UP ON ETHOS, PATHOS AND 

LOGOS, WITH THESE TOOLS FROM MY FATHER AND ARISTOTLE (MY HEROS TUTOR) NOTHING WILL BE OUT OF MY REACH. 

IT FEELS LIKE THEY WERE JUST HERE IN A DREAM ALMOST. SO NOW IM ALONE IN ROME WALKING IT'S STREETS 

POINTLESSLY SMOKING CIGARETTE AFTER CIGARETTE LISTENING AND WATCHING THE CITY MOVE AROUND ME AND I CAN'T 

HELP BUT FEEL A BIT LONELY AND HOMESICK, WHAT A BLESSING TO HAVE MY MOM AND DAD COME OUT TO ADVENTURE 

WITH ME! ROME IS LIKE NEW YORK CITY WITH BETTER PEOPLE, KINDER, GENTLER AND LESS CRAZED BY THE RAT RACE. 

I WENT TO THE VATICAN TODAY FOR THE SECOND TIME IN MY LIFE SPECIFICALLY TO SEE POSSIBLY THE ONLY SURVIVING 

MARBLE BUSTS OF CEASAR AND MARK ANTHONY, I BRAVED THE CROWDS AND THE WHOLE BLOODY MARCH THROUGH THE

 CHAPEL AND EVERYTHING AND RIGHT BEFORE I WAS GONNA GIVE UP...I FOUND THE EXHIBIT...WHICH WAS FUCKING 

CLOSED WHICH I WILL CONSIDER ONE OF THE GREAT TRAGEDIES OF MY LIFE TILL I RETURN (MY COINS ARE IN THE 

FOUNTAIN) CURSES!!! I WALKED AROUND FOR A COUPLE HOURS BEFORE RETURNING TO THE OTHER SIDE OF ROME

 (NEAR THE TERMINI) WHERE IM STAYING TO RESEARCH TICKETS FOR MY NEXT STOP, I'VE DECIDED TO VENTURE UP TO 

LIVORNO WHERE I'LL CATCH THE FERRY TO BASTIA TO EXPLORE THE TUSCANY AREA A LITTLE. AFTER THAT I CONTINUED 

WALKING UNTIL I FOUND A LITTLE JOINT FOR DINNER AT 630, WHICH IS REALLY EARLY FOR ITALY AND IM THE ONLY ONE 

HERE AND IM DRINKING WINE WAY TO FAST FOR BEING ALONE. I KILLED 1/2 MY BOTTLE OF WHITE WAITING FOR MY PIZZA.

 THE OTHER HALF SITTING AT THE SAME TABLE DRINKING ALONE LISTENING TO BRIGHT EYES AND SMOKING TOO MANY 

CIGARETTES. NOW IM DRUNK AND EVERYWHERES THE SAME. SANDRA HAD A ROUGH DAY WITH THE BOYS OF NYC SO I 

AGREED TO GET ANOTHER BOTTLE AND TALK ON SKYPE-THIS TRAIN RIDE IA GONNA FUCKIN SUCK!! I WORRY ABOUT HOW 

IM GONNA HANDLE EGYPT ALONE THEN I THINK...YOURE CHANGING WITH EVERY PASSING SECOND, YOU'LL OWN EGYPT 

LIKE A PTOLEMY BY THEN! THE WORLDS CHANGING AND HOPEFULLY ALMOST OVER, YOU GOTTA SEE IT NOW YORKATRON. 

YOUR IDLES OF MARCH MAY VERY WELL BE TOMORROW.

SEPTEMBER 17TH MMXI

THE EXACT MOMENT WE PULLED THE CAR INTO MESSINA I FELT RELIEF AND GOT A BURST OF ENERGY, NO MORE DRIVING FOR

 THIS KID FOR AT LEAST TEN DAYS, TRAINS AND MUSIC FROM HERE ON OUT! IM THINKING IM GONNA ADD JERUSALEM TO 

THE LIST OF ASIA MINOR, MIGHT AS WELL AYE!? TO NOT SEE ONE OF THE MOST SIGNIFICANT HISTORICAL SITES ON THIS 

TRIP WOULD BE A BLUNDER (WHERE JESUS DIED) THE FERRY RIDE ACROSS TO ITALY MARKED THE END OF OUR ISLAND 

TOUR AND THE BEGINING OF DADS LEG OF THE TRIP, MY MOM WAS RELIEVED FOR THE PRESSURE TO BE OFF HER. IM 

CROSSING MY FINGERS TO SEE FEDERICO IN ROME, IT'S NOT LOOKING GOOD BUT HEY, HE'S ITALIAN AND THEY TAKE CARE 

OF SHIT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT. WE BOARD A TRAIN EARLY TO SALERNO AND THEN TO POMPEII! LETS DO IT!

ANOTHER X ON MY LIST OF THINGS TO DO BEFORE IM DEAD: POMPEI RUINS, I WAS ASTONISHED OF THE SHEAR SIZE OF 

THE OLD CITY. IT WAS LIKE TRAVELING BACK IN TIME TO A TYPICAL ROMAN CITY, MORE THAN ONCE I WONDERED IF I MAY 

BE STRUCK DOWN FOR PILING ALL THESE LIFE EXPERIENCES INTO SUCH A SHORT TIME. IN SOME OF THE POMPEI HOMES 

THERE WAS STILL PAINT ON THE WALLS AND MOSAIC TILES STILL IN PLACE IT WAS WONDERFUL, I ALSO GOT TO SEE A 

BROTHEL WITH STONE BEDS IN SMALL ROOMS AND PORNOGRAPHIC FRESCOS ON THE WALLS. THE BROTHEL WAS MY 

FAVORITE, I WAS IMAGINING WHAT THE MEN OF THE PAST WERE DOING TO THOSE SLAVES ON THAT SEPTEMBER DATE IN 

72BC RIGHT BEFORE IT GOT BURIED AND THEY ALL AFFIXIATED IN THE ASH AND GAS FROM VESUVIUS, IT WAS PRETTY 

COOL TO SEE THAT GIANT AS THE BACKDROP TO THE CITY. AFTER A LOCAL TRAIN PACKED WITH ITALIAN HIGH SCHOOL 

KIDS GAWKING AT MY TATTOOS AND ASKING FOR MY FACEBOOK ( THEY TREAT ME LIKE A ROCKSTAR AFTER THEY LEARN 

IM FROM THE USA AND LOVE THE CHANCE TO TRY TO SPEAK ENGLISH. WE ARRIVED THE NEXT DAY JUST OUTSIDE 

SORRENTO TO A NICE B&B TO GET OUR FIRST 3 CONSECUTIVE NIGHTS IN ONE PLACE SINCE WE STARTED AND WE ARE ALL

 RELIEVED TO GET THE BREAK AND NOT RUSH OUT EARLY EVERY MORNING, LUGGAGE IN TOW TO GET TO OUR NEXT PLACE.

 IVE FOUND THE ITALIANS TO BE THE NICEST, CARING PEOPLE I'VE ENCOUNTERED TODAY, WE WERE LOST AND A CAB 

DRIVER TOOK THE TIME TO CALL OUR B&B AND THEN AFTER GETTING DIRECTIONS DROVE US FOR FREE TO OUR B&B, 

CRAZY! IF ONLY AMERICANS COULD BE SO KIND AND WILLING TO SACRIFICE THEIR TIME FOR PEOPLE THEY DON'T KNOW.

 THE OWNERS OF OUR B&B REALLY LAVISHED US WITH THEIR FAMILY WHITE WINE, COFFEE AND CAKES ON OUR ARRIVAL.

 ITALIANS MAN, I ADORE THESE PEOPLE. AFTER A DECENT BUZZ WE JUMPED IN A BUS PACKED TO THE GILLS AND HOT AS 

ALL HELL TO GET TO POSITANO ON THE AMALFI COAST, ITS A HEAVENLY TOWN FULL OF ART AND SUN AND BEACH, LOTS 

OF YOUNG TOURISTS BUT A SPOT I COULD SEE MYSELF WITH A LADY ON A ROMANTIC GETAWAY FOR WEEKS. THE WATER 

WAS COOL AND THE SUN BLAZED ABOVE WITH THE DRAMATIC CLIFFS AND TOWN TOWERING ABOVE IT ALL. SOUTHERN 

ITALY IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE; THE AMALFI COAST IS SOMETHING I'LL DREAM ABOUT FOR YEARS TO COME.

HERES A FUN FACT: MOST OF THE LOCAL WINES IN SORRENTO ARE SPARKLING (KINDA) AND THEY SERVE THE RED COLD!!!

SEPTEMBER 14TH MMXI

ITS FUN TO TRAVEL WITH MOM AND DAD, IN GUETAMALA WE DEVELOPED THE "QUAIL CALL" WHISTLE METHOD TO GRAB THE 

OTHERS ATTENTION OR FIND THE OTHER WHEN YOUR IN THE MAZE OF MARKETS STREETS ETC. THE WHOLE FAMILY USES IT 

NOW FREQUENTLY WHICH IS COOL, ANOTHER UNIQUE SANDIFER QUIRK. WE FOUND OUR B&B BY PURE LUCK ONCE WE 

ARRIVED IN AGRIGENTO I WAS RELIEVED TO FIND SPEEDY WIFI AND GOT CAUGHT UP WITH PHOTOS AND MAPS FOR THE 

NEXT DAY. WE RETIRED EARLY AND WOKE UP TO TAKE A SWIM IN THE SOUTH OF SICILY IN THE MEDITERRANEAN WITH DAD 

WHICH WAS LOVELY AND TOTALLY REFRESHING. THE BIG ATTRACTION IN AGRIGENTO IS THE VALLEY OF THE TEMPLES 

WHICH DATES BACK TO THE 6TH CENTURY BC INCLUDING A TEMPLE Of HERA, CONCORD AND HERACLES, IT WAS A GREAT 

EXPERIENCE AND I'VE BEEN SURPRISED BY ALL THE GREEK, TROJAN AND ROMAN RUINS HERE IT'S FAR FROM WHAT I 

EXPECTED. IT SEEMS THAT SICILY WAS QUITE THE RESUPPLY POINT AND THUS A PLACE THAT EVERYONE WANTED TO 

OCCUPY. WE ARE DRIVING TO PIAZZA ARTERMINE AND HAVE HIT ROAD CONSTRUCTION AND HAVE GOT A LITTLE SPUN 

AROUND IN THE INFINITE HIGHWAYS SS640, SS13, SS-ONE FUCKING ZILLION, ITS CRAZYNESS! THE ROADS HERE ARE 

GREAT, AND RATHER THAN PAVE THE HIGHWAY DOWN FROM MOUNTAIN TO VALLEY THE BUILD A BRIDGE STRAIGHT 

ACROSS WHICH MAKES FOR NICE DRIVING, TO PASS, I LEARNED QUICKLY, THE SICILIANS WILL PASS ON A TWO LANE 

ROAD RIGHT DOWN THE CENTER WITH ONCOMING TRAFFIC SO BOTH THE PERSON BEING PASSED AND THE PERSON 

GOING THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION WILL HUG THE SHOULDER WHILE THE PASSER SPLITS THE CENTER LINE! ITS NUTS AT 

FIRST, AND WOULD CAUSE ALL KINDS OF ACCIDENTS WITH ALL THE IDIOT AMERICANS BACK HOME BUT IT WORKS HERE 

AND IT'S COOL. GOT TO SEE THE TEMPLE OF APOLLO IN SYRACUSE AND SWIM IN THE IONIAN SEA!, AND NOW WE ARE IN 

TAORMINA WHICH WITHIN MINUTES CAPTURED ME AS MY FAVORITE TOWN IN SICILY. ALTHOUGH PACKED WITH TOURISTS 

IT'S GOT THE CHARM OF A SMALL HILL TOWN WITH THE BEACH JUST A CABLE CAR AWAY, IT WOULD BE ALL TOO EASY TO

 DISAPPEAR IN THIS PLACE, DAD AND I FINALLY FOUND SOME BORSALINOS IN OUR SIZE AND I ACTUALLY GOT EXACTLY

 THE SUMMER HAT I'VE BEEN WANTING FROM A NICE OLD WOMAN NAMED NINA. IM PRETTY WORN OUT AFTER ALL THIS

 DRIVING IM LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING THE CAR TURNED IN AND USING THE TRAINS ON THE MAINLAND AND 

ACTUALLY GET TO LISTEN TO MY ROCK N ROLL...I FUCKIN MISS ROCK N ROLL-THAT'S ALL I WANT OUTTA MY PATHETIC 

LIFE IS THE CHAOS OF ROCK N ROLL. I WANNA WRITE WORDS THAT MEAN SOMETHING, I WANNA EXSIST

AGAIN. AND SAY THE THINGS THAT I NEVER COULD OTHERWISE. I WANNA BE WITH MY. BROTHERS PAT, 

ANDY AND DAGO AGAIN AND TEAR SHIT UP AND GET FUCKED UP! ANYWAY IT'S GOOD TO HAVE SO MUCH OF SICILY 

UNDER MY BELT EVEN IF I AM EXHAUSTED, SICILY IS GREAT FUN, I FEEL LIKE I'LL RETURN SOMETIME SOON HOPEFULLY 

WITH MORE TIME TO JUST HANG OUT AND ABSORB THE PEOPLE HERE. TOMORROW IS OUR LAST DAY, IM REALLY 

EXCITED FOR POMPEII AND MY RETURN TO ROME BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM SAD TO BE LEAVING THESE UNIQUE AND 

AMAZING ITALIAN ISLANDS.

SEPTEMBER 10TH MMXI

AFTER OUR LAST TWO DAYS IN SARDINIA THE BIG CITY OF CAGLIARI ARRIVING IN PALERMO SICILY IS QUITE A SHOCK, 

ITS A BIG CITY & VERY DIFFERENT TO SARDINIA, ARCITECTURE, LANGUAGE AND THE FEEL ON THE STREET. IM EXCITED TO 

BE HERE AND FULL OF WONDER TO FIND OUT THE SECRETS OF THIS PLACE! SICILY IS FULL OF DARK ALLEYS AND 

FOREBODING PEOPLE THAT SEEM GRUMPY WHEN APPROACHED. THE STREETS ARE DIRTY AND THE WHOLE CITY OF 

PALERMO HAS A GRITTY FEEL TO IT, IT'S PULSING WITH LIFE AND REVEALS A VIBRANT SMILING PEOPLE AND PRIDE. 

PALERMO IS CHOCKED FULL OF HISTORICAL MONUMENTS & WE JUST COULDN'T GET TO ALL OF THEM. WHAT WE DID SEE 

WERE A COUPLE CHURCHES AND SOME AMAZING STREETS FULL OF MARKETS AND EVERY MEAT AND FISH YOU COULD 

IMAGINE. MY FAVOURITE WAS THE OLIVE VENDORS SELLING EVERY SICILIAN OLIVE YOU COULD IMAGINE FOR AROUND 

5 EUROS A KILO! THE ONE THING WE DID TOUR WAS THE CATACOMBS. UNDERGROUND IN A DRY VERY EERIE MAZE OF 

CRYPTS THERE WERE 1000 PLUS MUMMIFIED REMAINS OF HOLY MEN, CHILDREN, WOMEN AND MEN HUNG FROM THE WALL 

IN VARIOUS STATES OF DRESS, SOME LOOKED LIKE PIRATES SOME DRESSED LIKE PRIESTS SOME HAD NOTHING MORE 

THAN BURLAP SACKS AROUND THEM, ALL WERE IN VARIOUS STATES OF MUMMIFICATION. SOME JUST SKULLS, SOME HAD 

FULL ON DISTORTED EXPRESSIONS. ONE LADY STILL HAD EYE GLASSES ON BUT THE STRANGEST THING WAS ALL THE

 BODIES WERE WITHIN ARMS REACH. THE NEXT DAY WE VISITED THE TROJAN RUINS AT SEGESTA, IT WAS REALLY COOL

 AND MY FIRST EXPOSURE TO ANYTHING LIKE IT. I DROVE ALL DAY FROM PALERMO TO AGRIGENTO. DRIVING IS VERY 

DIFFERENT FROM SARDINIA, BUT STILL BETTER THAN CORSICA-IVE GOT THE IMPRESSION THAT SICILIANS LIKE TO GET 

WHERE THEY'RE GOING. SO FAR IN SICILY THERE'S NO FUCKING WIFI!!! EVERY ENGLISH SPEAKING TOURIST SAYS THE 

SAME. WHICH FUCKS ME PRETTY BAD, NO MAPS OF THE CITY OR THE ROADS FOR THAT MATTER! EVEN WORSE WITHOUT 

THE HOSTEL WORLD APP I CAN'T BOOK ANY FUTURE HOSTELS OR FIND THE ONES I'VE BOOKED!!! SHIT!! WE ARE IN 

AGRIGENTO NOW IN A B&B RIGHT ACROSS FROM THE BEACH, EARLY MORNING SWIM TOMORROW BEFORE WE HIT THE 

VALLEY OF THE TEMPLES, IM ESPECIALLY EXCITED TO SEE THE TEMPLE OF HERCULES...AND MAYBE IF THERE'S TIME 

CONTINUE MY FAILING QUEST FOR A BORSALINO THAT FITS!

IVE BEEN EATING SEAFOOD LIKE MAD LATELY INCLUDING LOTS OF CALAMARI, WHICH MAKES ME DREAM REALLY VIVIDLY,

 INCLUDING ONE OF CORALIE AND HER GYPSY SPANISH EYES LURING ME TO MY DEATH IN THE SEA, IM TAKING THAT AS 

AN OMEN AND GONNA BACK OFF A LITTLE.

SEPTEMBER 6TH MMXI

WE VENTURED FIRST TO LA MAGDELENA, A RITZY ISLAND IN THE ARCHIPELAGO TO THE NORTH OF SARDINIA, ON THE 

FERRY RIDE HOME A NASTY STORM ROLLED IN AND DRENCHED US TO OUR BONES, AS A BONUS, WE GOT LOST AS ALL FUCK

 LOOKING FOR THE CAR LUCKILY I TOOK A PHOTO OF OUR CROSS STREETS AND A LOCAL FISHERMAN PRETTY MUCH WALKED

 US ALL THE WAY THERE. IN THE MORNING WE DROVE TO SANTA TERESA AND EXPLORED A BIT BEFORE WE STARTED THE

 DRIVE TO ALGHERO. IN BETWEEN WE STOPPED AT A FORMAGGERI AND BOUGHT A KILO OF SOME PRETTY AMAZING CHEESE 

AND KEPT ON TRUCKIN. I WAS DRIVING AND IT FEELS GOOD TO BE ON THESE SARDINIAN ROADS LIKE I KNOW WHAT IM 

DOING...FUCKING ITALIANS MAN, THEY CAN DRIVE!! DAD HAD US VEER OFF THE ROAD TO CASTELSARDO WHICH WAS 

WEIRD, LIKE HEY YORK, LET'S TAKE THIS RANDOM RIGHT AND CHECK OUT WHAT THIS TOWN WE'VE NEVER HEARD OF IS 

LIKE, WITH A NEARLY DANGEROUS SPIN OF THE WHEEL WE WERE WINDING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN TO REVEAL WHAT I CAN 

ONLY DESCRIBE AS KING ARAGONS CASTLE WITH A BRIGHTLY PAINTED TOWN NESTLED BELOW JETTING OUT TO THE NEON

 BLUE MEDITERRANEAN. WE STOPPED, ATE, TOURED THE CASTLE AND GOOFED OFF BEFORE CONTINUING THROUGH THE 

ALMOST SO-CAL LIKE ROADS LINED WITH WINERIES AND OLIVE GROVES TO GET TO ALGHERO. IN ALGHERO WE STAYED 

IN THE CONVENT SIDE OF AN OLD CHURCH IN THE OLD QUARTER IN A PLACE CALLED HOTEL SAN FRANCESCO. WE ATE A 

LATE DINNER AND HIT GROTTA DI NETTUNO IN THE MORNING AND SAW SOME AMAZING CAPTAINING, PULLING A LARGE 

BOAT IN SMALL SWEELS INTO A CAVE AND EXTENDING A BOOM FOR ALL OF US TO CROSS WHILE FEATHERING THE 

THROTTLE TO KEEP IT STEADY WOULD BE IMPRESSIVE TO ANYONE! STALACTITES AND STALAGMITES EVERYWHERE 

WITH CLEAR BLUE WATER AT THE BOTTOM OF THE CAVE. BEFORE WE KNEW IT WE WERE EATING KABABS AND HITTING 

THE ROAD TO ORISTANO. WE ARRIVED IN ORISTANO AROUND 6 FINDING IT DARK, COVERED IN GRAFFITI AND WE 

COULDN'T SEEM TO FIND ANY RESTURANTS WHICH IS FUCKING WEIRD ANYWHERE ITALIAN. OUR HOSTEL IS A B & B WITH

 THREE ROOMS AND NO INTERNET!!! EEEK!!! BUT AT LEAST A COUPLE OF GREAT GUYS RUN IT, THE NEXT DAY THE GUYS 

POINTED US BACK NORTH TO THE ROMAN RUINS AT THARROS AND A COUPLE OF CHOICE BEACHES THAT THEY 

RECOMMENDED. THARROS WAS COOL, AN OLD ROMAN CITY WITH AQUADUCTS AND A SEWER RUNNING UNDERGROUND 

BUT THE BEST PART OF OUR DAY WAS TWO SHORT STAYS AT THE BEACHES AT IS ARTURAS WHERE I BOUGHT A 

SARDINIAN FLAG BEACH TOWEL AND THE HIGHLY SOUGHT AFTER 500 EURO BILL TOWEL FROM A MOROCCAN GUY THAT 

SPOKE ONLY ITALIAN. WE HEADED HOME AFTER LESS THAN AN HOUR AT EACH (MOM IS PRACTICALLY ALLERGIC TO THE 

SUN) AND GOT SLOWED BY A HEARD OF SHEEP TRAFFIC JAM IN THE COUNTRY, THAT WAS BEING WRANGLED BY A MAN 

ON A SCOOTER. WE HIT THE SUPERMARKET FOR DINNER FIXINS QUICKLY AND FOUND PARKING TO RETURN TO THE B&B. 

IN THE SUPER MARKET THEY HAD NEARLY AN ENTIRE ISLE DEDICATED TO BARILLA PASTAS WHICH I THOUGHT WAS 

AWESOME, NOW I'LL FEEL OK GETTING AUTHENTIC ITALIAN BOXED PASTAS BACK HOME. TRAVELING WITH MOM AND DAD

 IS VERY DIFFERENT TO WHAT IM USED TO, THEYRE OLDER AND MORE COMPLICATED THAN ME, BUT IN THE END IT'S TOO 

MUCH FUN TO BE WITH FAMILY TO RECOGNIZE ANY DIFFERENCE. TOMORROW WE DRIVE TO OUR FURTHEST POINT SOUTH 

IN SARDINIA THE CAPITAL CAGLIARI FOR TWO DAYS BEFORE HEADING TO SICILY. 

ITALIANS ARE SO INCREDIBLY NICE TO US AS TRAVELERS, SARDINIA IS VERY DIFFERENT THAN MY EXPERIENCES IN VENICE

 AND ROME, NOT THAT THEY WERE BAD, JUST THIS FEELS LIKE MORE OF AN AUTHENTIC TASTE THAN I GOT, I FUCKING 

LOVE ITALIANS, BUT HAVE DECIDED I THINK I PREFER FRENCH LADIES IN FACT, LAST I CHECKED MY FACEBOOK MY TOP

 TWO MESSAGES WERE FROM CORALIE AND HEIDI (MY LADY I LEFT BACK HOME) I FELT A BIT GUILTY KNOWING I VERY 

WELL MAY START DATING CORALIE, I WONDER IF HEIDI WILL GET MAD IF SO, IM CRAZY ABOUT HEIDI BUT THE FACT IS 

IM LITERALLY HALF THE WORLD AWAY AND WOULD REALLY LIKE A NICE GIRL TO HANG WITH TO TEACH ME MORE FRENCH

 AND EXPOSE ME TO MORE CORSICAN LIFE I WOULDN'T OTHERWISE BE ABLE TO FIND, NOT TO MENTION SHE'S SWEET AS 

HONEY AND INCREDIBLY GORGEOUS. IM SUPPOSED TO BE BACK IN AJACCIO FOR WORK ON THE 26TH, THE LONDON 

TATTOO CONVENTION IS THE 23rd-25th ID BE THERE WITH BELLS ON IF I WOULDN'T BE RISKING MY EUROPEAN VISA AND

 THEREFORE MY MONEY AND THE REST OF MY TRIP, IT'S SCARY ENOUGH KNOWING IM TRAVELING THROUGH ITALY! THE

 FLORENCE TATTOO CONVENTION IS IN NOVEMBER, MAYBE I CAN SWINDLE DENNY INTO GOING IN ON A BOOTH...

SEPTEMBER 3RD MMXI

MOM AND DAD ARRIVED TUESDAY, I WORKED A BIT AND WENT TO THE AIRPORT TO GET THEM, WE WERE ALL VERY 
PLEASED TO BE REUNITED AFTER 8 MONTHS. I KNEW ALMOST IMMEDIATELY THAT THIS TRIP ISN'T GONNA BUT WHAT
ANY OF US MIGHT HAVE EXPECTED-MOST OF ALL ME. BUT IF IVE LEARNED ANYTHING IN CORSICA IT'S THE 
REAFFIRMING OF HOW IMPORTANT FAMILY IS. WE TOOK IT EASY THE FIRST THREE DAYS EATING TRADITIONAL FOOD
COOKED BY MOMMIE ROSETTE NIGHTLY AND GETTING PRETTY LOOSE ON THE LEMON CHELLO, LOCAL WINE AND THE 
HARD STUFF "WATER OF WINE." WEDNESDAY WE WENT TO THE BEACH  AND TOOK IT EASY-THURSDAY WE SAW THE
BLOODY ISLES AND THE GROTTE NAPOLEON AND WENT HOME TO EAT WITH EVERYONE, MOM AND DAD ENDED UP 
HELPING ROSETTE WITH THE TRADITIONAL CORSICAN SOUP I CAN ONLY DESCRIBE IT AS THE FISH PASTE SOUP I 
TOLD U ABOUT IN EARLIER POSTS. MOM DIDNT LIKE IT...FIRST TIME I'VE EVER SEEN HER SHY AWAY FROM ANY 
FOOD...FUNNY. AFTER A SOLID BUZZ I DROVE TO TOWN AT ABOUT TEN TO MEET CORALIE, MY FIRST OFFICIAL DATE 
WITH A LOCAL, I'VE BEEN INVITED TO STAY INDEFINITELY SO IM EXPLORING MY OPTIONS...AFTER A FEW WHISKEYS
AND GETTING OVER THE SHYNESS OF OUR LANGUAGE DIFFERENCE WE REALLY HIT IT OFF, SHES TWENTY, DROP DEAD
GORGEOUS AND RIDES HORSES, WHICH, TO ME IS A GUARANTEE SHE'S GOOD PEOPLE. CORALIE AND I ENDED OUR 
NIGHT AROUND TWO AM MAKING OUT ON THE EDGE OF TOWN WITH THE MEDITERRANEAN AT OUR BACKS AND HER 
WITH SAD EYES THAT I WAS LEAVING. FRIDAY I WOKE WITH A HANGOVER AND STARTED PACKING FOR THE ITALIAN
ADVENTURE. DENIS PICKED US UP AND TOOK US TO THE BUS STATION, WE BOARDED THE BUS AROUND 230 AND 
TOOK A REALLY RELAXED THREE HOUR RIDE TO BONIFACIO, DAD WAS CONSTANTLY POINTING AND GAWKING 
VOCALLY AT THE DIFFERENT TREES AND TERRAIN, HE WAS LIKE A KID AGAIN AND IT WAS TOTALLY FUN! WE 
ARRIVED IN BONIFACIO AROUND FIVE, HUSTLED TO THE HOTEL AND BACK TO TOWN TO BOOK A BOAT TO SEE THE 
CLIFF CITY FROM THE SEA. BONIFACIO IS BEAUTIFUL AND AS OF TODAY THE MOST PICTURESQUE CITY I HAVE 
VISITED. ITS THE KIND OF PLACE THAT YOU'LL SEE IN A POSTCARD THAT TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY, BEING THERE
I FOUND IT EVEN MORE CHARMING IN PERSON. ALL OF US WISHING FOR A BIT MORE TIME IN BONIFACIO WE SAID
GOODBYE TO CORSICA WITH A FEW LITTLE CORSICAN TREASURES TO HEAD TO SARDINIA. WE ARRIVED AT ABOUT
2pm IN SANTA TERESA DI GALLURO AND RENTED OUR CAR AND IMMEDIATELY DROVE TO OUR HOTEL IN SAN 
PASQUALE WHERE I AM NOW, FIRST IMPRESSION IS THAT NEARLY EVERY ITALIAN WE'VE COME INTO CONTACT 
WITH SPEAKS ENGLISH WHICH IS A SHOCK TO ME COMPARED TO AJACCIO.  SARDINIA IS GONNA BE LOADS OF 
FUN AND SO FAR IT SEEMS A LOT LESS STRESSFUL TO DRIVE IN-(CORSICA IS CONSIDERED THE MOST DANGEROUS 
ROADS IN EUROPE) WE ARE GONNA COVER A LOT OF GROUND HERE BEFORE WE HEAD TO SICILY, BUT OFFICIALLY 
OUR ITALIAN ADVENTURE HAS BEGUN!! IM SO FUCKING HAPPY TO BE BACK ON THE ROAD.
 
ON A SIDE NOTE:
IVE DECIDED ID LIKE TO BE BURNED ON A PYRE WHEN I DIE CARRIED AND SET A LIGHT BY THE 12 BEST MEN I 
KNOW...THIRTEEN MEN, ONLY TWELVE WILL RETURN. THINK ID HAVE TO GET A PERMIT OR SOMETHING??

AUGUST 29TH MMXI

MY PARENTS GET HERE IN 24 HOURS.  24 FUCKING HOURS BABY!!! THIS LAST SATURDAY THE FOUR OF US WENT OUT TO PARTY FOR MY LAST NIGHT HERE UNTIL THE END OF SEPTEMBER, I WAS SET IN A COURSE TO PUNISH REMI, SAM AND DENIS...AND SUCCEEDED.  174 EURO BILL AND A WICKED NASTY HANGOVER THE NEXT DAY.  BEST PART, WAS BLACK OUT SAMANTHA NEARLY FALLING OVER WHILE SHE PISSED ON DENIS TIRE AND HE AND I WERE LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY. NOW THEYRE GLAD IM LEAVING!! WELL NOT REALLY, BUT THEYLL DEF DREAD THE DAY I RETURN TO DRINK.  MET A GIRL NAMED CORALIE, SHES BEAUTIFUL AND WE ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE DRINKS THIS WEEK, MY PARENTS SHOWING UP TOMORROW IS GONNA MAKE IT TOUGH, BUT SHES WORTH IT.  IVE BEEN WORKING MY TAIL OFF ON THESE COSTUMES, AND ANGIE SAID SHE WONT CHARGE ME ANYTHING FOR MY PARENTS TO STAY WITH HER...WHICH IS REALLY COOL.  GONNA FINALIZE THOSE FUCKERS TODAY AND BE DONE WITH IT.  THIS MORNING, DRAMA DROPPED LIKE A BOMB, I RAN SOME ERRANDS IN THE MORNING AND ARRIVED AT ABOUT 1130 AND NO ONE WAS AT THE SHOP, REMI WAS LATE AND SOON I FOUND OUT THAT HE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE.  SAM AND I HAVE HAD OUR SUSPICIONS THAT HE HAS BEEN ON THE DOPE, PRETTY MUCH CONFIRMED MINE AND HES ON MY FUCKING SHIT LIST.  I HAVENT BEEN HANGING OUT WITH HIM LATELY BECAUSE ALL HE DOES IS BITCH AND HE NEEDS TO BE A MAN AND NOT EXPECT EVERYONE TO FIX HIS LIFE.  HOPEFULLY THIS WHOLE THING WILL SEND HIM BACK TO THE STATES SO HE IS NOT OUR PROBLEM ANYMORE.  ITS PRETTY OBVIOUS IM OVER IT.  HES LUCKY IM NOT WHOOPING HIS ASS.  SEEMS HEARTLESS I KNOW, BUT SUICIDE TRYS ARE JUST MORE BULLSHIT WHINING. ALL THIS HAD TO CRACK OFF RIGHT BEFORE MY PARENTS GET HERE TOO. SAM AND I HAVE BECOME FRIENDS FINALLY, SHES GOT MY BACK NOW AND IT FEELS GOOD, WE ARE TRYING TO TURN THIS SHOP INTO A POSITIVE PLACE AS WE HAVE BOTH REALIZED HOW SENSITIVE WE ARE AND THIS PLACE IS TO NEGATIVE ENGERY.  THE TIME OFF WILL BE MOST WELCOME FOR ME, IM TIRED OF BEING STRESSED AND OVER ANALYZING EVERYTHING, IM GONNA GIVE MYSELF A FUCKING STROKE OVER TATTOOING.  BEING AROUND MY PARENTS SHOULD EASY MY ANXIETY. I CANT WAIT TO PICK THEM UP TOMORROW.  THE ITALIAN EXPERIENCE IS GONNA BE GRAND, IVE SAID IT BEFORE, IVE LIVED MY WHOLE LIFE FOR TODAY, BUT NOW IM THINKING, IVE LIVED MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THE NEXT 25 DAYS WITH MY MOM AND DAD IN ITALY, MY MOM HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT SICILY SINCE I WAS A BOY, ITS GONNA BE SO FUN TO BE WITH HER WHILE SHE MARKS IT OFF HER LIST.  

AUGUST 22ND MMXI

AUGUST 19TH MMXI

ITS BEEN A WEIRD WEEK.  I GOT MONDAY OFF, MY FIRST 2 DAY WEEKEND SINCE IVE BEEN HERE, IM ASHAMED TO SAY I DID NOTHING.  GENEVIEVE CAME DOWN FOR A COUPLE DAYS AND HUNG OUT, HELPING ME MAKE THESE WEIRD OLD SCHOOL SNAKE COSTUMES IM MAKING FOR ANGIES SCHOOL KIDS.  ZACH SENT ME AN OMINOUS MESSAGE ON FACEBOOK STATING ONLY THAT: "YOURE GONNA HATE ME." AFTER SOME MEDICAL BILLS ITS KINDA PUT A DAMPER ON HIS FUNDS FOR TRAVEL, BUT THINGS CHANGE BY THE MINUTE.  FOR NOW THOUGH, SOUNDS LIKE ITS EGYPT ETC ON MY OWN...GUESS THATS THE WAY ITS SUPPOSED TO BE.  ITS BUMMING ME OUT MORE THAT ZACH WILL MISS OUT ON WHAT MAY BE HIS ONLY CHANCE TO GET OVER HERE, IM WORRIED MORE ABOUT HIM THAN ANYTHING.  LAST NIGHT I FINALLY GOT TO GO FISHING WITH ABDEL AND HIS SON AND HIS SONS FRIENDS.  IT WAS REALLY FUN, AND TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT I CONSIDER FISHING.  NO FISHING RODS, JUST CORK WITH LINE WRAPPED AROUND IT AND TWO HOOKS WHICH WE BAITED WITH OLD CORSICAN CHEESE DOUGH. WE WENT ABOUT 50 METERS OFF SHORE AND ANCHORED THE AJACCIO CITY LIGHTS AND THE MUSIC FROM THE CLOSEST BAR CARRIED OVER THE WATER AND MADE IT PRETTY AWESOME.  THE STARS WERE OUT AND WE DRANK CHAMPAGNE AND BEERS AND EVEN WENT INTO SHORE AROUND MIDNIGHT TO GRAB SOME HOT PIZZAS.  WE STAYED OUT TILL ABOUT 3 AM, I PULLED IN 4 OR 5 FISH, THE SAME FISH WEVE BEEN EATING AT THE HOUSE, SMALL BUT TASTEY, ONE, WAS "DANGEROUS" I WAS STOKED I CAUGHT IT AND AFTER I TOSSED IT IN THE CATCH BUCKET I WAS INFORMED THAT IF I GOT STUCK WITH ONE OF THE SPINES ON THE FINS I WOULDVE HAD TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY! COOL.  MADE ME MISS MY DAD LIKE CRAZY.  SO MANY OF THE BEST MEMORIES OF MY LIFE HAVE BEEN WITH MY DAD FISHING BOTH YOUNG AND OLD.  I WAS EXCITED TO HAVE CAUGHT MY FIRST FISH ON THIS SIDE OF THE WORLD, PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME.  GONNA TRY TO GET MY FOLKS OUT TO DO THAT WITH US.  MY MOM MAY BE A HARD SELL BUT I THINK ILL BE ABLE TO GET HER ON BOARD.  THEYLL BE HERE IN 11 DAYS...11 FUCKING DAYS!!!!!  ITS GONNA BE SO NICE TO BE WITH FAMILY AGAIN, AND HAVE A BUNCH OF DAYS OFF TO BLOW SOME OF THIS MONEY THATS BURNING HOLES IN MY POCKETS.  IM SO EXCITED TO BUY MY FUCKING BORSALINO...I HOPE MY POPS WILL PICK ONE UP TOO.  IVE PUT UP A POST ON A UK TATTOO FORUM LOOKING FOR A JOB IN LONDON OVER THE WINTER, THAT KINDA FEELS LIKE THE END OF MY FOREIGN REIGN IS CLOSING IN BUT WHO KNOWS...I REALLY WANT TO GET TO MOROCCO, IVE GOT THE GOOD HOOK UP THERE AND IN PARIS BECAUSE OF ABDEL, WHOS A GREAT GUY AND ORIGINALLY FROM MOROCCO.  WORKING ON THE VIDEO, STILL A COUPLE SHOTS TO GET BUT IT SHOULD BE READY SOON. IVE BEEN CONSIDERING HITCH-HIKING HOME ONCE IM STATESIDE...SHIT, I MAY HAVE TO.  

AUGUST 16TH MMXI

WHEN I DIE I WANT PEOPLE TO SAY: HE ALWAYS HAD A DRINK IN HIS HAND, HE WAS NEVER AFRAID AND HE ALWAYS DID WHAT HE THOUGHT COULDNT BE DONE.  I WAS TOLD RECENTLY BY A GIRL THAT IM AN ASSHOLE, BUT A CHARMING ONE.  THATS THE PARADOX OF ME.  SO WITH THE FIRST STATEMENT, LOOKS LIKE ILL HAVE TO LIVE UP TO THE IDEALS I PUT MYSELF TO.  LATELY, THINKING OF EGYPT ETC, KNOWING NOW THAT ILL PROBABLY BE GOING ALONE, DUE TO TOMMY AND ZACH ONLY COMING OUT FOR 2 WEEKS...IVE HAD SOME RESERVATIONS ABOUT IT, IM GOING, OR IM GONNA DIE BUT IVE HAD SOME PANICKED MOMENTS ABOUT MONEY AND WHAT NOT, AT LEAST IF IM SOLO ILL BE ABLE TO MOVE QUICKLY, A LOT LIKE GOING TO THE MOVIES BY MYSELF, YOU CAN LEAVE WITH 5 MINUTES TILL THE TRAILERS START AND MAKE IT WITH PLENTY OF TIME.  IVE BEEN BURNED OUT BY THE PEOPLE I WORK WITH FOR VARIOUS REASONS, SO I HAVENT BEEN GOING OUT WITH THEM LATELY, ITS HARD FOR ME TO BE THRUST TOGETHER WITH PEOPLE THAT I DONT FEEL I HAVE A REAL CONNECTION WITH FOR ANYTHING MORE THAN A MOMENT.  I NEED TO MAKE SOME OTHER FRIENDS HERE IN AJACCIO. LAST WEEK I PASSED THE 3000 EUROS SAVED MARK, AND THATS REALLY GOOD, BUT NOW MY GREED IS SETTING IN, NOT SO MUCH THE MONEY, BUT WITH THE ABILITY TO SEE MORE...I WANNA GO TO CUBA.  MY FOLKS GET HERE IN 14 DAYS, I CANT WAIT, AND NEED TO START PLANNING DETAILS FOR OUR TRAVEL.  IM BACK TO THAT POINT WHERE I HAVE TO STOP AND TELL MYSELF WHERE I AM.  YOURE IN CORSICA ASSHOLE.  YOURE SOMEWHERE AND THIS IS THE BEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE.  YESTERDAY WAS NAPOLEONS BIRTHDAY, AND THERE WERE FIREWORKS AND MADNESS ALL AROUND.  ON THIS MYSTERIOUS ISLAND OF CORSICA, THAT DOESNT FIT ANY OF THE FRENCH STEROTYPES BECAUSE ITS NOT FRANCE, I MEAN, THE BAGUETTES STILL GO DRY, THERE IS A LOT OF RACISM, BUT THE PEOPLE HERE ARE AMAZING.  IM ALWAYS GREETED WITH RESPECT AND KINDNESS, A FAR CRY FROM THE FRENCH.  I GET KISSES FROM INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL GIRLS WHEN WE FIRST MEET, NEARLY EVERY ONE OF THE GIRLS BETWEEN 20-30 ARE FUCKING GORGEOUS. WHY WOULD I LEAVE!? I GOT MONEY, PEOPLE THAT CARE, THE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH GIRLS ILL NEVER FIND ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD.  GUESS THATS ME THOUGH, REGARDLESS HOW GOOD OR BAD IT MAY BE, IF I COMMIT TO AN IDEA I HAVE TO CHASE IT, ITS IN MY FUCKING PROGRAMING I GUESS.  LAST WEEK I WAS ASKED BY MOMIE ROSETTE, ANGELINA, AND ABDEL TO HELP MAKE THIS CRAZY CORSICAN FISH SOUP, I WAS TASKED WITH MAKING THE CROUTONS, WHICH WERE OLD HARD BAGUETTES CUT INTO SMALL PIECES AND RUBBING RAW GARLIC ON THEM.  I REALIZED THAT GARLIC MAKES ME FEEL GOOD, IM GONNA EAT MORE OF THAT STUFF, I HAVENT HAD ANY FOR AWHILE AND I NOTICED, EVEN HOURS LATER THAT I FELT DIFFERENT.  I REALLY GOT TO GET THE LAST FOOTAGE PUT TOGETHER FOR A VIDEO, I HAVE A QUICK INTERVIEW (WITH MYSELF) TO DO AND ONE QUICK SHOT TO GET DOWNTOWN BEFORE I CAN START EDITING, IF IT GETS BUSY IT MAY MEAN SOME LATE NIGHTS HERE AT THE SHOP...BUT IT HAS TO BE DONE BEFORE MOM AND DAD GET HERE.  ITS HOT AS FUCK OUT AND IVE BEEN TO THE BEACH ONE FUCKING TIME, WHAT A TRAGEDY. IM GONNA REMEDY THAT DIRECTLY. WITH THE RIOTS IN LONDON, EGYPT ETC AND THE FUCKING STATE OF THE US ECONOMY IM WONDERING IF THE WORLD IS GOING TO FALL COMPLETELY APART WHILE IM ABROAD...IF IT DOES, ILL BE STANDING ON THE LAST CINDER OF THE PLANET TO SEE US ALL FLASH OUT.

AUGUST 8TH MMXI

YOU KNOW, YOU CAN TELL A LOT ABOUT THE TIMES IN YOUR LIFE HISTORICALLY BY THE SUNGLASSES YOU WEAR.  YESTERDAY, MY KICKASS VIETNAM RAYBAN AVIATOR KNOCKOFFS GOT A CRACK IN THE LENS...GUESS ITS TIME TO GO SHOPPING FOR THE CLUBMASTERS.  LAST WEEK I PUT UP OVER 1000 EUROS...PRETTY FUCKING STOKED ABOUT THAT, PUT NEARLY ALL OF IT AWAY FOR TRAVELING TOO.  LAST WEEK WAS SUPER FUN, THE SHOP WAS REALLY BUSY AND KEEPING ME ON MY TOES, DID QUITE A FEW BLACK N GRAY PIECES THAT IM HAPPY WITH.  ABDEL'S SON ARRIVED FROM PARIS, A FISHERMAN, SPEAKS ENGLISH, ABOUT 25 YEARS AND PRETTY FUN TO HANG OUT WITH, ATE DINNER WITH THE FAMILY AND HE BROUGHT HIS MOTHERS FAMILY'S CHAMPAGNE, IT WAS PRETTY COOL TO BE DRINKING THE "FAMILY CHAMPAGNE" AND IT WAS FUCKING RITZY SHIT, I CERTAINLY WOULDNT RUN INTO A BOTTLE THIS NICE WITH THE FOLKS I RUN WITH AT HOME! EVERYONE WENT FISHING ON FRIDAY WHILE I WAS AT WORK, AND I CAME HOME TO THIS ENORMOUS LOBSTER AND CRAB FEAST WHERE WE DRANK WAY TOO MUCH WINE AND HAD A GREAT TIME.  MY FRENCH IS COMING ALONG, IVE GOT A COUPLE PHRASES NOW AND ANGIE AND MOMMIE ROSETTE TELL ME HOW WELL IM DOING AND HOW MUCH I CAN UNDERSTAND, MAKES ME WANNA STAY EVEN LONGER SO I CAN HOLD ONTO THIS KNOWLEDGE.  SUNDAY ABDEL, ANGIE AND I WENT TO BASTIA TO SELL ONE OF ANGIES DOGS, I GOT A LOT OF FOOTAGE AND MET A PRETTY HOT GIRL FROM UP NORTH WHO FOUND ME ON FACEBOOK, "I LOVE AMERICANS" SHE SAID...MAN THIS SHIT IS JUST TOO EASY. THE MORE IM AROUND CORSICANS THE MORE I FEEL LIKE IM USING THINGS I ALWAYS HAD BUT COULD NEVER EXPLAIN.  IS IT A BAD THING THAT IM CONSIDERING MARRYING A CORSICAN GIRL TO TRY AND GET A EUROPEAN PASSPORT??? (IT DOESNT HURT THAT THE WOMEN HERE PUT AMERICAN WOMEN TO SHAME IN NEARLY EVERY ASPECT) ON THE WAY HOME FROM BASTIA WE TOOK A DETOUR AND FILLED ABOUT 40 WATER BOTTLES WITH WATER FROM THIS SPRING FOUNTAIN IN A SMALL VILLAGE IN THE MOUNTAINS, IT FELT LIKE I WAS IN LORD OF THE RINGS AND DRINKING THE WATER FROM THE MOUNTAIN TO MAKE ME INVINCIBLE...IT WAS RAD.  MY LIFE IS FUCKING RAD. 22 DAYS TILL MY PARENTS ARRIVE.

AUGUST 2ND MMXI

HAD MY BEST DAY ABROAD YESTERDAY.  MY BEST DAY EVER IN TATTOOING TOO, SAM WASNT WORKING, MADE 870 EUROS, TOOK HOME 435 (625USD OR SO) MADE MY WEEK AND ITS ONLY MONDAY! ALSO, SPOKE TO DENNY ABOUT MY PLANS FOR THE FUTURE, LOOKS LIKE ILL BE RETURNING TO CORSICA AFTER MY FOLKS HEAD HOME ON THE 22ND SEPTEMBER, I CAN START PLANNING THE TRIP FOR ME AND ZACH! MAKING ME PRETTY STOKED.  DID 9 TOTAL TATTOOS YESTERDAY, 7 PAID AND 2 TOUCH UPS...IT WAS A LONG FRUITFUL DAY.  IN MY DOWN TIME IVE BEEN WORKING ON THE TRIP TO SARDINIA WITH MOM AND DAD, ITS PROVING LESS RELAXED THAN ID LIKE BECAUSE OF ALL THE LAND WE WILL HAVE TO COVER BUT WHATEVER, GONNA HAVE TO FIGURE OUT SOME ITALIAN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TOO. IM STOKED THAT THE 3 OF US SPLIT UP TRAVEL RESPONSIBILITIES (I WAS ASSIGNED SARDINIA, MOM SICILY AND DAD GOT THE MAINLAND OF ITALY) THAT WAY THE OTHER CAN RELAX AND LET THE OTHER ONE LEAD...GREAT IDEA.  IM ALMOST THINKING I MAY STAY A BIT IN ITALY WITH FEDE AFTER I SEND MY PARENTS OFF, IT PROBABLY WONT WORK OUT, I KNOW HES WORKING AND ALL...MY BIRTHDAY WILL BE THE FOLLOWING WEEK, 33 YEARS OLD, IT WOULD BE EPIC TO CELEBRATE IT WITH MY GOOD FRIEND IN FLORENCE. GUESS ILL JUST WAIT THAT ONE OUT.  ONCE I CAN GET ZACH BOOKED ON A FLIGHT ILL BE ABLE TO START SCHEMING ON HOW TO GET TO EGYPT ETC REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THAT, AND HAPPY THAT ITS SLOWLY COMING TO FRUITION.   I DID A BOOG (TATTOO ARTISTS FLASH) TATTOO OF THIS BLACK AND GRAY NEW SCHOOL JESUS FACE IN A CROSS THAT I WAS SUPER HAPPY WITH.  ITS NICE TO SEE THAT MY BLACK AND GRAY IS GOING SOMEWHERE.  IM SEEING SOME SMALL GAINS IN MY SKILL HERE IN CORSICA, ITS A GOOD FEELING, ILL START LOOKING FOR SOME WORK IN OCTOBER, HOPEFULLY ILL BE ABLE TO WORK OVER CHRISTMAS IN LONDON...MY FINGERS ARE CROSSED, HELL, MAYBE I CAN SPEND THE HOLIDAY WITH THE DELANYS (FAMILY FRIENDS) IN WHALES!!! THATS STILL A LONG WAY OFF...BUT I CANT WAIT TO GET TO LONDON, LAURA PROMISED TO TAKE ME BARBOUR JACKET SHOPPING...I WILL HAVE A STEVE MCQUEEN MOTORCYCLE JACKET! IN FACT I BETTER WRITE LAURA AND LET HER KNOW OUR BALLPARK FOR COMING OVER. HOPEFULLY SHE WILL STAY TRUE TO HER IDEA TO DRIVE US ALL OVER THE UK! A ROADTRIP WOULD BE SUPER FUN! I CANT WAIT TO HANG WITH HER AGAIN, SHE IS ONE OF THE SMARTEST GIRLS IVE EVER HUNG OUT WITH, HOPEFULLY SHE WONT HATE ME AFTER I SLEEP WITH ALL OF HER FRIENDS.  

BULLETPROOF.

JULY 29TH MMXI

AFTER THE LAST POST, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE IMPORTANT TO SHOW MY IMMEDIATE REVERSAL IN ATTITUDE.  TODAY, AND LAST NIGHT MY WORLD GOT BRIGHTER WITH MORE POSSIBILITIES.  DENNY HAS ASKED ME IF I WILL STAY FOR THE WINTER, WHICH HAS SOLVED MANY OF MY DOUBTS FOR THE UPCOMING MONTHS (AND AVOIDED ME ASKING).  ALL OF A SUDDEN THE NEXT MONTH ISNT SO DREADFUL. DID A COUPLE OF TATTOOS YESTERDAY AFTER MY BLOG WHICH ALLOWED ME TO PAY MY RENT AND FOR THE CAR FOR AUGUST, THE SECOND, SOME SCRIPT IN LATIN LEFT ME HIGH ON THE ART AND FEELING MUCH BETTER ABOUT MYSELF. IM STILL QUESTIONING MY FUTURE IN THIS INDUSTRY, BUT AS I SAID YESTERDAY, THATS FUTURES PAST...IM THINKING THAT ILL TALK TO DENNY WITH A CALENDAR IN HAND AND SEE IF I CAN GET HIM TO LET ME WORK THROUGH NOVEMBER AND GET ZACH TO MEET ME THEN TO HEAD TO THE BALKANS.  IM WEARING DOWN SAM WITH KINDNESS AND SHE SEEMS TO BE A LITTLE LESS HARSH TOWARDS ME, WHICH IS CERTAINLY WELCOME.  IM THINKING ABOUT SEEING IF WRATH OR DRE WILL THINK ABOUT COMING OUT HERE FOR A GUEST SPOT IF DENNY WOULD BE OPEN TO IT.  ID DIE TO HANG WITH THOSE GUYS OVER HERE, I KNOW THAT GORDONS WIFE WOULD BE A LITTLE PISSED IF HE CAME TO FRANCE WITHOUT HER.  WITH THIS NEW OPPORTUNITY ILL HAVE MORE TIME TO WORK ON MY FRENCH AND TATTOOING AND CONTINUE TO TAKE IN THE THINGS I TOOK FOR GRANTED YESTERDAY.  SOMETIMES I JUST GOTTA REMIND MYSELF THAT IM FUCKIN TEN FEET TALL WITH MY FEET IN THE DIRT. THROUGHOUT THIS TRIP, THERE HAS BEEN QUITE A FEW TIMES IVE HAD TO STOP AND THINK TO MYSELF: LOOK WHERE YOURE AT, THINK OF WHERE YOU CAME FROM AND THE THINGS YOUVE ACCOMPLISHED ON THIS RIDICULOUS ADVENTURE, TAKE IN THE LITTLE STUFF LIKE THE DIFFERENCE OF THE COLORS IN THE LANDSCAPES AND BUILDINGS, THE SMELLS, FOOD, PEOPLE AND DRINKS AND NOT TO FORGET THE WOMEN.  AH THE LADIES.  I THINK IM SLOWLY TURNING INTO THE TRAVELING DON JUAN AND IM STARTING TO BELIEVE IN MY OWN LEGEND.  IM CERTAINLY UNCHANGED IN MY VIEWS THAT LIFE IS SHORT AND I FEEL COMPELLED TO DO AS MUCH AS ONE MAN CAN DO IN THE TIME HES ALLOTTED. MY FATE IS STEERING THE WAY, WHICH IS QUITE THE STATEMENT FROM ONE WHO THINKS THAT THERE IS NO FATE, BUT ITS HARD NOT TO LOOK BACK TO JANUARY WHEN THIS ALL BEGAN AND NOT REVEL IN THE MAGIC AND COINCIDENCE OF IT ALL, ABOUT OF THE BILLIONS OF PEOPLE ON THE PLANET, IM WHERE I AM WITH NEW RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE IVE MET THROUGH CHANCE, WHO, WHEN ITS ALL OVER, WILL HAVE CHANGED MY VIEWS ON LIFE AND EXISTENCE AS A WHOLE. IVE NEVER DOUBTED HOW LUCKY IVE BEEN IN LIFE, AND HOW LUCKY I WILL CONTINUE TO BE. 32 DAYS TILL MY PARENTS GET HERE.  FUCKIN AYE.

JULY 28TH MMXI

I BOOKED TICKETS FOR MY FOLKS AND I TO GET FROM CAGLIARI (SARDINIA) TO PALERMO (SICILY) TODAY, IT WAS TEN EUROS MORE THAN THE FERRY RIDE FOR THE 3 OF US, AND BETTER, RATHER THAN A 14 HOUR FERRY RIDE IN 2ND CLASS SEATS WE WILL BE THERE IN AN HOUR AND NOT WORN THE FUCK OUT.  GOOD STUFF.  MORE OF THE SAME HERE REALLY, I FINALLY SLEPT WITH LIVIA AFTER SHES STALKED ME FOR THE LAST WEEK OR SO.  MY IMMEDIATE INSTINCT IS TO RUN LIKE HELL AND FIND SOME NEW LADIES (WHICH IS WHAT IM GONNA DO) BAD NEWS IS THAT SHE KNOWS WHERE I WORK AND IS IN CONTACT WITH REMI AND DENNY, SO AT ANY MOMENT SHE CAN POP UP...SIGH.  GOT TO SEE THE NAPOLEON STATUE THE OTHER NIGHT IT WAS PRETTY RAD.  WORKING WITH SAM ISNT FUN, SHES SUPER PREACHY AND WANTS ME TO TATTOO LIKE HER, WHICH ISNT WHAT I WAS TAUGHT...GRANTED IVE PICKED UP SOME GOOD STUFF FROM HER, BUT ALL IN ALL SHES MAKING A DIFFICULT JOB MORE SO AND IT WEARS ME DOWN MENTALLY.  WITH THAT SAID, IVE BEEN WONDERING LATELY IF IM GONNA CONTINUE TATTOOING, ID BE MUCH HAPPIER BARTENDING OR BEING A BROKE POET SOMEWHERE, WHEN MY WANDERLUST REACHES AN END I GUESS THATS WHEN ILL MAKE THAT DECISION, FOR NOW ILL JUST TUCK IT IN THE BACK.  THE THING ABOUT TATTOOING IS (BULLDOG TATTOO PARLOR LACEY EXCLUDED) ITS ALWAYS FILLED WITH DRAMA AND EGOS AND THAT ISNT OK WITH ME.  WHEN I GET HOME, ILL TAKE A WEEK AT THE CABIN UP NORTH AND CLEAR MY HEAD, SLEEP AND TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS I WANT OUT OF LIFE.  IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT KIDS LATELY IF ONLY FOR THE FACT THAT IM THE LAST MALE OF MY BLOODLINE AND THE LAST CHANCE FOR THE SANDIFER NAME TO CARRY ON. THAT GOES AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT, BUT ALSO APPEALS TO MY MARTYRDOM NATURE. IM NOT GETTING MUCH WORK, IVE DONE A FEW TATTOOS HERE AND THERE BUT IVE BEEN SITTING IN THE SHOP BORED MOST OF THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS, THE WEATHER HAS BEEN COOLER THAN USUAL AND THE TOURISTS ARE STARTING TO INVADE FOR THE AUGUST RUSH.  IVE BEEN WRITING A LETTER TO MYSELF FROM MY ALTER EGOS, AS A SOURCE OF INSPIRATION FOR FUTURE HARD TIMES, NOT SURE IF ILL BE ABLE TO POST IT HERE, BUT I THINK I SHOULD REGARDLESS OF HOW ARROGANT IT MAY COME OFF, EITHER WAY ITS FAR FROM DONE.  I GOT ABOUT A MONTH LEFT IN AJACCIO, ITS GONNA BE A LONG MONTH IN CURRENT COMPANY, BUT DAILY I LOOK FORWARD TO GETTING HOME FOR THE FAMILY DINNER AND SPENDING TIME WITH LINA, ANGIE, ABDULE (ANGIES BOYFRIEND FROM PARIS), YOAN AND YANIZ...MY TROUBLES MELT AWAY WITHIN ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF BEING HOME...REALLY SOLIDIFIES MY THOUGHTS ON FAMILY.  COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS TO SEE MY PARENTS, COUNTING THE MINUTES TO NOT HAVE TO WORK FOR A MINUTE.  I THINK FEDERICO IS GONNA MEET US IN ROME, WHICH IS GOING TO BE AWESOME, I REALLY HOPE IT WORKS OUT ID LOVE FOR MY PARENTS TO MEET HIM.  STILL HAVE TO DECIDE WHETHER ILL BE RETURNING TO AJACCIO TO GET MY TRUNK, IF ANYTHING ILL JUST CAMP OUT HERE UNTIL I CAN FIND WORK, MAYBE I CAN TALK DENNY INTO LETTING ME WORK FOR OCTOBER, MY DOUBT IS THAT WITH SAM HERE TILL LATE SEPTEMBER AND HORACIO RETURNING IN OCTOBER THEY MAY NOT NEED ME, OR WANT ME FOR THAT MATTER...STILL HAVENT HAD A CHANCE TO TALK WITH DENNY, WHEN I DO SEE HIM, SAM AND HE ARE FLIRTING AND TALKING NONSENSE THE WHOLE TIME. I NEED TO TALK TO WRATH, HE MAKES ME FEEL WAY BETTER ABOUT EVERYTHING.  NOT THE HAPPIEST BLOG POST...BUT AS LAURA SAID: UPS AND DOWNS, ITS ALL ROCK N ROLL...

JULY 22ND MMXI

STAYING TRUE TO MY MOTHERS ADVICE, TO TRY TO WRITE ABOUT MY FEELINGS, IM WRITING THIS POST.  THIS LAST WEEK HAS TAKEN A BIT OF A TOLE ON ME WITH ALL THE WEIRDNESS AT THE SHOP, WHICH PHILOU WARNED ME ABOUT, ITS NO ONE IN PARTICULAR, ALTHOUGH THERE ARE THOSE THAT MAKE ME MORE FRUSTRATED THAN OTHERS. I FEEL ANXIOUS MOST OF THE TIME WHEN EVERYONE IS TALKING IN FRENCH, IM WORRIED ILL BE THE FIRST TO GO AND IMAGINE THAT THERE TALKING ABOUT ME.  I NEED TO GET SOME TIME ALONE WITH DENNY AND SEE IF HE WILL LET ME COME BACK AFTER MY TOUR WITH MY PARENTS.  THE MONEY HAS SLOWED DOWN AGAIN, IN JULY IVE MANAGED TO PUT AWAY ABOUT 1200 EUROS SO FAR, WHICH WONT TAKE ME THE REST OF THE WAY.  IVE GOT RENT COMING UP SOON WHICH WILL BE ANOTHER DENT IN MY FUNDS.  THE ROUTINE OF 6 WORKING DAYS A WEEK IS WEARING ON ME A LITTLE, AND IM CONSTANTLY EXHAUSTED FROM THE ENERGY IT TAKES TO TRY TO COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE.  BECAUSE I DONT HAVE MANY FRIENDS HERE IM TIED TO THE GROUP AT THE SHOP, OR THE FAMILY AT HOME, IM ALWAYS IN THE SAME COMPANY AND HAVE NO ONE HERE REALLY THAT SHARES MY SAME INTERESTS.  IN SHORT, IM A BIT LONELY, I MISS MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY.  LUCKY FOR ME I GET TO TALK TO MY FOLKS TONIGHT, AND SEE THEM IN A LITTLE MORE THAN A MONTH, HOW TO GET ZACH HERE WHILE I HAVE MONEY IS THE NEXT OBSTACLE.  IF I FEEL THAT THIS ADVENTURE NEEDS TO BE WRITTEN ABOUT ONCE IVE GOT HOME, ILL START AT THE END, MY HOMECOMING, THEN THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE ABOUT THE BEGINNING, LOSING MY HOME, ADDICTED TO PAIN KILLERS, TAKING A HUGE LEAP WITH VERY LITTLE MONEY.  WHO KNOWS, SEEMS TO ME, NOTHING EXTRAORDINARY  HAS HAPPENED YET...BUT IVE GOT ALL KINDS OF TIME TO REMEDY THAT.  

JULY 21ST MMXI

ITS BEEN A WILD FEW DAYS.  SATURDAY I HAD A DATE (WITH REMI AS INTERPRETER) WITH LIVIA (THE GIRL WHO GAVE ME HER NUMBER) WHICH WAS INTERESTING, WE DIDNT TALK MUCH ESPECIALLY AFTER I TOLD MY  FRIENDS WITH US WHO SPOKE ENGLISH TO STOP INTERPRETING AND LET US TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT, SHE KEEP DIVING FOR HER PHONE FOR GOOGLE IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY...WE ENDED UP MAKING OUT...ONCE I DRUNKENLY DROVE HOME I RACKED OUT TILL LATE ON SUNDAY AND PRETTY MUCH GOT A LITTLE SUN ON THE PATIO WITH YOAN AND YANIZ THEN SKULKED BACK TO MY ROOM TO WATCH DEADWOOD ALL DAY.  MONDAY STARTED WITH A BANG, GUY CAME IN COMPLAINING ABOUT SOME TRIBAL I DID (TRYING TO MATCH SOME OLD STUFF HE HAD) SO THAT PRETTY MUCH RUINED MY WHOLE DAY. SAM IS IN THE SHOP, SHE IS NOW THE SENIOR TATTOOER, OTHER THAN HER CONSTANT CONDESCENDING TONES TO ME, AND TEACHING DENNY DATED CURSE WORDS IN ENGLISH FROM THE 80'S AND 90'S SHES ALRIGHT (WHEN WE'RE NOT AT THE SHOP). AFTER MY HORRIBLE DAY ON MONDAY SAM, DENNY AND MYSELF WENT TO THE PORTMONIO GUITAR FESTIVAL A BIG FESTIVAL WITH INTERNATIONAL ACTS FOR 22 NIGHTS IN THIS TINY VILLAGE OUTSIDE BASTIA (3 DRUNKEN DRIVING HOURS AWAY) I STARTED WITH WHISKEY, THEN BEER FOR THE DRIVE, THEN WHISKEY, WINE, WHISKEY AND BEER AGAIN...MIRACULOUSLY I AWOKE WITH NO HANGOVER, JUST BEAT FROM A LONG NIGHT.  I WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY WITH GENEVIEVE IN BASTIA AND ENDED UP STAYING IN THE HOTEL WITH DENNY AND SAM...WHO KICKED ME OUT SHORTLY AFTER THE LIGHTS WENT OUT...MAYBE THATS HOW SAM GETS AHEAD?? EITHER WAY LEFT A BAD TASTE IN MY MOUTH UNTIL I SNUCK NEXT DOOR TO SLEEP WITH DENNYS GIRLFRIENDS AND ENDED UP GETTING RAPED BY THIS HOT 40 YEAR OLD, WHICH WAS FUNNY SHE GOT LOUD IN FRENCH AT THE HOTEL AND I KEPT LAUGHING TO MYSELF.  SHE WAS ONE OF THOSE RARE GIRLS THAT GETS BETTER LOOKING ONCE YOURE IN THE ACT, NOT THAT SHE WAS UGLY BEFORE, SHE WASNT, IVE ONLY BEEN WITH ONE OTHER GIRL LIKE THAT, THAT IS WAY HOTTER NAKED AND WILD EYED WHILE FUCKING.  WE TOOK OUR TIME GETTING HOME FROM BASTIA, WE STOPPED FOR BREAKFAST AND COFFEE (1.5 HOUR) THEN AT THE SHOP IN BASTIA (1 HOUR) THEN FOR LUNCH IN CAPRI (1.5 HOURS) THEN THE REST OF THE TRIP HOME.  I WAS ANXIOUS TO GET HOME BUT WAITED IT OUT TILL 7 AND GOT SOME GOOD SLEEP AFTER THE SHOP CLOSED.  YESTERDAY I DID A COUPLE OF NAMES BIGGER THAN USUAL WHICH WAS NICE TO GET MY CONFIDENCE BACK, UNTIL DENNY SAID HE DIDNT LIKE THE FINE LINES IN THE TATTOO I WAS DOING, WHILE I WAS DOING IT...THAT FRUSTRATED ME.  AFTER A GREAT DINNER WITH LINA LAST NIGHT AND A GOOD SLEEP, AND A STEALTH WARRIOR MORNING IM LOOKING AT TODAY WITH POSSIBILITY. I GOTTA CONIVE MY WAY INTO STAYING HERE, SAM LEAVES IN OCTOBER, I BELIEVE FROM WHAT IVE OVERHEARD THAT HORACIO MAY BE COMING BACK IN OCTOBER, SO IF I CAN TALK DENNY INTO LETTING ME BACK FOR A WHILE WHEN I RETURN FROM ITALY WITH MY FOLKS...IM THINKING I MAY JUST SHOW BACK UP, AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. ZACH IS CONFIRMED, I THINK I MAY HAVE HIM CONVINCED ON THE ASIA MINOR TOUR (MINUS JORDAN) THEN POPING UP TO LONDON TO VISIT LAURA.  WHATEVER...I GOT A LOT TO DO HERE IN CORSICA, AND I GOT TO START PLANNING THE TRIP TO SARDINA WITH MY PARENTS.  ALL FOR NOW...

THE THINGS THAT HOLD US BACK ARE THE THINGS WE NEED THE MOST.

JULY 13TH MMXI

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS IVE SKYPED WITH SANDRA, MY FOLKS, ROB JOLLY AND RYAN AND EILEEN BACK IN SINGAPORE.  ITS AMAZING HOW GOOD IT FEELS TO TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY WHEN THEIR NOT AROUND.  I CALLED JOLLY TO GIVE HIM A PEP TALK, AND REMIND HIM HES A TITAN AND HE ENDED UP REMINDING ME WHY IM DOING WHAT IM DOING. HE TOLD ME IM AS GOOD AS A ROCKSTAR BACK HOME WHICH FOR SOME REASON GAVE ME MORE ENERGY THAN IVE HAD FOR THIS TRIP IN A LONG TIME.  IT WAS AWESOME TO TALK TO MY FOLKS TOO, THEYVE BEEN DOING MY DADS BIG HIGH SCHOOL REUNION STUFF FOR A COUPLE WEEKS SO I HAVENT SPOKE TO THEM, IT WAS SUPER GOOD TO SEE EM.  TALKING TO RYAN AND EILEEN WAS FUN TOO, I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH EM AND IT MADE ME MISS CHOPS AND THE CREW AND THE CARPE DIEM.  LOVE THOSE GUYS.  THE WORLDS WAKEBOARD TOURNEY IS THIS WEEKEND AND HOPEFULLY NOW THAT FEDE WONT HAVE TO TRAIN ILL BE ABLE TO HOOK BACK UP WITH HIM FOR SOME MADNESS.  BEEN MISSING MY TRAVELING PARTNER IN CRIME.  TODAY I DID MY FIRST TASMANIAN DEVIL PRETTY GOOD SIZE AND IN COLOR.  SUPER STOKED ABOUT THAT, MOST TATTOOERS THAT TATTOOED IN THE 90S GAG WHEN ONE COMES IN, BUT IVE BEEN WAITING SINCE I BEGAN TO BUST ONE OUT.  LAST WEEK I TATTOOED SOME GIRLS RIBS AND AT THE END SHE GAVE DENNY HER NUMBER FOR ME, AND SAID, "I DONT SPEAK ENGLISH BUT WE COULD FIGURE IT OUT" SHE WAS PRETTY CUTE TOO.  T-R-O-U-B-L-E, THAT STARTS WITH T AND RHYMES WITH P AND THAT STANDS FOR POOL!! (MUSICMAN, THANKS DAD) I MAY BE GOING FISHING TONIGHT TILL LATE WITH ANGIE AND YOAN AND YANIZ, IF I DO, ITS GONNA BE SUPER FUN, I CANT WAIT.  ALL IN ALL, ITS BEEN MORE OF THE SAME, DRINKING AND GETTING WILD ON SATURDAY THEN WORKING AND SAVING EUROS, HEADING HOME TO EAT WILD FRENCH FOOD HAD LIVER AS THE MAIN COURSE THE OTHER NIGHT...YEAH...HAD CORSICAN HAM THE OTHER DAY, ITS FUCKING AMAZING, A LOT LIKE PROSCIUTTO, BUT BETTER SOME HOW.  ANGIE IS GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO COUNT AND THE ALPHABET IN FRENCH ON FRIDAY OVER SOME BEERS, EXCITED ABOUT THAT ITS GONNA HELP QUITE A BIT, MY FRENCH IS COMING ALONG BIT BY BIT, I STILL CANT SPEAK MORE THAN ONE OR TWO WORDS AT A TIME BUT I PROGRESS EVERYDAY.  WE FINALLY WENT TO THE BEACH ON SUNDAY, LIKE ALL THE BEACHES GIRLS ARE LAYING OUT WITH OUT TOPS WHICH IS COOL, THE WATER WAS WARM AND I GOT SOME SUN, BUT SPLIT EARLY AND TOOK THE SCENIC ROUTE HOME BY MYSELF (I DONT GET MUCH TIME ALONE LATELY) SO THAT WAS SUPER FUN.  ALL THESE POSTS ARENT SUPER EXCITING, BUT IF YOU SAW THE PILES OF EUROS I HAVE AND COULD READ MY MIND ABOUT HOW FANTASTIC PART THREE OF THIS ADVENTURE IS GONNA BE...YOUD GET GOOSEBUMPS. TILL NEXT TIME.

IM NO HERO BABY...I JUST GOT BALLS.

JULY 4TH MMXI

TODAY IS THE FOURTH OF JULY, A PIECE OF ME IS BUMMED I WONT BE OUT PLAYING WITH MY FRIENDS AND DRINKING AND EATING AND BLOWING SHIT UP...THE REST OF ME IS STOKED ABOUT THE FRENCH INDEPENDENCE DAY, 14TH JULY (THE DAY THE FRENCH KILLED OR KICKED OUT LOUIS THE 16TH I BELIEVE). TODAY WAS FULL OF FUN TATTOOS, I DID SOME LETTERING ON THE RIBS OF SERIOUSLY THE HOTTEST GIRL IVE SEEN HERE IN CORSICA...HOLY FUCK, TOO BAD I DONT SPEAK FRENCH...CURSES!!!!  IF I SEE HER AGAIN IM JUST GONNA DRAW HER PICTURES OF HEARTS WITH HER NAME IN THEM TILL SHE UNDERSTANDS! SMOKING FUCKING HOT.  GOD DAMN!!! THIS LAST WEEKEND REMI, HIS SISTER AND REMIS FRIENDS LET LOOSE A LITTLE AND I INTRODUCED THEM TO DRINKING TEQUILA EDMOND LOVECRAFT STYLE, WE HIT DENNYS FOR A BBQ BEFORE AND I PUT DOWN A COUPLE COSICAN WHISKEYS ON THE ROCKS BEFORE DIVING INTO THE TEQUILA.  I PRETTY SURE I WORE OUT LUCY, THE BARMAID, EVERY FIVE MINUTES I WAS ORDERING ANOTHER ROUND OF SHOTS, OF THE 8 OF US DRINKING I THINK I MADE ALL OF REMIS FRIENDS THROW UP, PRIMAL I KNOW, BUT NOW THEY KNOW HOW DRINKING IS DONE.  THE NIGHT ENDED WITH A HANDJOB ON THE WAY HOME FROM SOME RANDOM SLAG AND MORE SEX...MAN, THIS PLACE CAN BE TROUBLE.  LAST WEEK I DID PRETTY GOOD AND THIS WEEK IS ALREADY SHAPING UP NICELY, IVE GOT LIKE 3 MEDIUM SIZED TATTOOS THAT IM PRETTY STOKED ON, IM KINDA SHOVING OLD SCHOOL SHIT DOWN THE THROATS OF THESE KIDS...ITS FUN.  IVE BEEN THINKING LATELY OF MAYBE STAYING HERE FOR THE WINTER...JUST A THOUGHT, BUT MAYBE I CAN TALK DENNY INTO LETTING ME COME BACK AFTER I TOUR WITH MY FOLKS AND HIT THE BALKANS.  LAST WEEK DENNY SAID THAT THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A PLACE FOR ME HERE...THAT FELT PRETTY AWESOME, I FUCKING LOVE THAT GUY.  I LET DENNY TATTOO SOME STARS ON ME TODAY, IM NOT SURE IF ITS HIS FIRST TATTOO OR WHAT BUT IT WAS FUN, WE WILL SEE HOW IT HEALS UP, I THINK HE WANTS TO WORK AT BEING A TATTOOER.  IVE BEEN THINKING LATELY OF WHAT IT IS I WANT OUT OF LIFE, AND I HONESTLY CANT THINK OF ANYTHING...ITS THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE THAT IM CONFUSED ON THAT ONE, MAYBE BECAUSE IM OUT HERE LIVING THE DREAM OR WHATEVER, MAYBE ITS BECAUSE I DONT HAVE TO KNOW WHAT I WANT RIGHT NOW...BUT IM GLAD I FEEL THAT WAY, ITS NICE TO LET MY AMBITION THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A HEAVY WEIGHT ON ME, SLIP TO THE SIDE FOR AWHILE.  LIKE THE WORLDS BEEN LIFTED FROM MY SHOULDERS AND IM FREE TO DO KARATE.  LATELY IVE BEEN REMEMBERING THE OLD ME THAT CAN SILVER TONGUE SWINDLE LADIES INTO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING, ITS GOOD TO LET THAT PART OF ME BACK TO THE SURFACE, LIKE JIMMY TOLD ME BEFORE I LEFT, GO SEW YOUR OATS...I THINK HE KNOWS AS WELL AS I DO, THAT MAY TAKE A LONG GOD DAMN TIME.  WITH WHAT I ESTIMATE AS 30 OR SO NATURAL YEARS LEFT ON THIS RIDICULOUS PLANET, I WONDER WHAT THE FUCK ILL BE UP TO IF I MAKE IT INTO MY 40S OR 50S...IM SURE ITLL BE SOMETHING RIDICULOUS, I HOPE IT IS ANYWAY.

BREAK HEARTS NOT NECKS.

JUNE 27TH MMXI

THIS LAST THURSDAY MARKED ONE MONTH HERE IN CORSICA.  THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS THE SHOP HAS BEEN PRETTY SLOW, ITS NOW STARTING TO RAMP BACK UP.  I THINK THE KIDS GRADUATING AND THE FIRST WEEK WITH ALL DAY BEACH TRIPS FOR THE KIDS JUST PUT US IN DEADSVILLE.  STAN, THE NEW TATTOOER FROM THE UKRAINE IS WORKING WITH ME(WHOM ISN'T A FAVORITE BY EVERYONE ELSE, I KINDA LIKE THE DUDE), PHILOU IS LEAVING SOON, AND A NEW BROAD STARTS ON THE SEVENTH…SHE MAY BE FROM WASHINGTON BUT NOBODY CAN REALLY DECIPHER WHERE, IT COULD BE THE EAST COAST, VIRGINIA OR SOMETHING…IT WOULD BE WEIRD IF SHE WAS FROM WASHINGTON.  IVE BEEN EATING DINNER ONLY STILL, AND LUNCH ON SUNDAYS, IM DOWN TO 100 KILOS, ITS NICE, I DON'T GET HUNGRY AT ALL DURING THE DAY.  AT NIGHT LINA (GRANDMA) HAS BEEN MAKING ME ALL KINDS OF WILD STUFF, HERE I EAT AT LEAST 2 TOMATOES A DAY DOUSED IN OIL, SALT AND VINEGAR…ITS AWESOME, NEVER BEEN A HUGE FAN OF TOMATOES UNTIL NOW.  USUALLY AFTER THE "SALAD" THERE IS A EXTREMELY RARE MEAT (LITERALLY SEARED ON EACH SIDE WITH THE MIDDLE RAW) AND A COUPLE TIMES WE'VE HAD RABBIT…IVE NEVER HAD RABBIT BEFORE, IVE DEFINITELY NOT HAD RABBIT COOKED WHOLE, WELL, HALF…IT LOOKS LIKE THEY PUT THE RABBIT THROUGH A BAND SAW RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE AND COOK THE FUCK OUT OF IT…LITTLE FREAKY AT FIRST, EYEBALLS AND TEETH STILL ATTACHED TO THE HALF AND SOME SELECT ENTRAILS STUCK INSIDE THE TINY LITTLE RIBS…BUT GOOD! I STILL DON'T GET WHY FROMAGE IS AT THE END OF EVERY MEAL, BUT IM STARTING TO APPRECIATE IT, THE LOCAL CHEESE IS FUCKING BLISSFUL. LAST WEEK GENEVIEVE AND PAULINE CAME DOWN FROM BASTIA, GENEVIEVE CAME TO TATTOO SOME OF HER TAHITIAN STUFF THAT ENDED IN NO SHOWS, BUMMER FOR HER, BUT WE MADE THE BEST OF IT.  WE ASKED LINA IF SHE HAD AN EXTRA ROOM, SHE INSISTED THAT SHE SLEEP ON THE COUCH AND THE GIRLS TAKE HER ROOM, SHE THEN, IN FRENCH WITH WILD EYES ASKED THE GIRLS IF THEY WANTED THE ROOM WITH THE KITTENS OR WITHOUT, I WAS LAUGHING MY ASS OFF.  LINA RULES.  THE GIRLS AND I WENT OUT FOR A COUPLE COCKTAILS BEFORE DINNER, WE ENDED UP IN THE OLD QUARTER OF AJACCIO AND I HAD AN AMAZING PLATE OF SEAFOOD PAELLA, WHICH WAS A TREAT, I HAVEN'T HAD THAT SINCE I WAS IN SPAIN WITH MY SISTER AT PAPITAS AGES AGO, SO IT GAVE ME A CASE OF NOSTALGIA.  AFTER HARD ALCOHOL TO START AND A BOTTLE OF RED WITH DINNER, WE VENTURED DOWN TO THE WATER FRONT AND MET SOME OF GENEVIEVE'S FRIENDS FROM BASTIA AND DRANK AND DRANK AND ENDED UP ON THE BEACH WHERE THE KIDS GOT STONED IN THE SHADOW OF THE GIANT CITADEL THAT OVERLOOKS THE BEACH…IT WAS PRETTY CLASSIC, I STOLE SOME GIRLS BLACK LACY PANTIES AT THE BAR AND TOOK HER BACK TO MY ROOM FOR A WILD SEX MARATHON THAT LEFT ME EXHAUSTED ALL THE NEXT DAY, THURSDAY NIGHT I SLEPT LIKE A DEAD MAN.  LAST WEEK I ALSO DID A PRETTY GOOD INTERPRETATION OF A HORRID HALF SLEEVE IDEA WITH KANJI AND BAMBOO, THAT IM PRETTY STOKED ON, GOTTA DO ALL THE GRAY IN A COUPLE WEEKS, THE GUY WAS SUPER STOKED AND I FINISHED THAT DAY (IN FRONT OF GENEVIEVE NO LESS) FEELING LIKE IM BACK IN THIS SHIT…FINALLY!!! NOW ALL I GOTTA DO IS FIND PROGRESS THAT I CAN MAKE DAILY UNTIL SEPTEMBER…I JUST WANT TO TATTOO ALL FUCKING GOD DAMN DAY.  SUNDAY REMI AND I HEADED TO THE SUNDAY MARKET, WE WERE LATE SO A LOT OF THE PEOPLE WERE CLOSING UP, BUT THEY HAD LOADS OF CRAZY KICK ASS SHIT, IF I COULD AFFORD TO SHIP STUFF HOME ID HAVE MORE FURNITURE, FRAMES, MIRRORS AND WEIRD ASS SHIT THAN I WOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH! IT WAS SUPER FUN, I BOUGHT 3 ANTIQUE ROSARIES FOR 20 EUROS AND IM TOTALLY FUCKING RAILED ON EM, THEN WE SET OUT INTO THE MOUNTAINS TO EXPLORE AND BE MISCHIEVOUS (INSERT TROUBLE HERE), I JUST KEPT DRIVING AND TAKING TURNS NOT GIVING A FUCK WHERE WE ENDED UP, LOOKS LIKE IM FINALLY COMFORTABLE WITH DRIVING TOO! WE ENDED UP IN SOME REALLY SMALL VILLAGES AND I TOOK SOME PICTURES, IT WAS COOL, I WAS BUMMED I DIDN'T TAKE THE SLR BUT I GUESS IF I HAVEN'T TAKEN ANYTHING BUT IPHONE PHOTOS SO FAR…WHY SWITCH IT UP.  I HAVEN'T SWAM IN THE MEDITERRANEAN YET, AND IT MAKES ME FUCKING SICK…IM GONNA SWIM THIS WEEK IF IT KILLS ME.  I FEEL LIKE IVE BETRAYED EVERYONE WHO ISN'T ME ON THAT ONE…I SEE THAT GREEN BLUE MAGIC WATER EVERYDAY AND I HAVEN'T PUT A TOE IN! ALSO, LAST WEEK I FOUND OUT THAT MY FOLKS ARE COMING OUT ON THE 30TH AUGUST…THAT WAS ABOUT THE BEST NEWS EVER, SO FUCKING PLEASED ABOUT THAT, THEY ARE GONNA TRAVEL MY WAY FROM THE 30TH TILL THE 22ND, JUST ROLLING WITH IT, ROUGHLY WE ARE PLANNING TO HIT CORSICA, SARDINA AND SILICY BEFORE HEADING TO THE BOTTOM OF ITALY AND UP TO ROME, IM WAITING TO FIND OUT ABOUT WRATH TOO, HE IS POSSIBLY HEADING TO MUNICH IN SEPTEMBER, IVE GOT MY FINGERS CROSSED, BETWEEN MOM, DAD, GORDON AND ZACH IM REALLY HOPING MY MONEY HOLDS OUT SO THAT I CAN GET OVER TO EGYPT AND TURKEY…THEY'VE BECOME MY OBSESSION.  SKOTTY AND SARAH ARE COMING OUT TO ROME THEN BARCELONA MID JULY, DON'T THINK I CAN SWING THE FLIGHT BUT REALLY HOPE I CAN MAKE IT WORK. WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE COMING OUT, I NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT IM NOT GONNA SACRIFICE MY OMERTA, IM NOT TIRED, WHICH IS A LIE, BUT A LIE THAT ILL LET KILL ME.  IVE GOT SO MUCH MORE TO SEE, IVE ONLY JUST SCRATCHED THE SURFACE FROM MY ORIGINAL PLAN, ALL THE WAY AROUND THE WORLD AND AS MUCH AS I CAN SEE WHILE IM ON THIS ONE FUCKING TRIP…IVE GOT GOOSEBUMPS JUST THINKING THAT IVE PULLED IT OFF, LOST INDIA, BUT IVE GAINED SO MUCH HERE IN AJACCIO, MAINLY EUROS, BUT EUROS MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND…MUTHA FUCKA!

10 JUNE MMXI

IM A LITTLE BUMMED TO TELL YA THAT I HAVENT REALLY DONE ANYTHING HERE IN AJACCIO EXCEPT WORK AND SLEEP.  IM STILL EATING ONCE A DAY AND MORE VEGETABLES THAN IVE EVER EATEN, EVEN MORE THAN IN ASIA IF THATS POSSIBLE! IM LOSING WEIGHT AND EXCITED ABOUT THAT. EVERY NIGHT AROUND 8PM I HEAD HOME AND EAT AND WATCH MOVIES TILL I FALL ASLEEP.  FILOU TATTOOED MY PALMS THE OTHER DAY, IT FUCKIN HURT! BUT I GOT A CONSTELLATION ON EACH HAND, ON THE LEFT LIBRA, ON THE RIGHT CRATER (THE CUP OF APOLLO.  IM PRETTY STOKED ABOUT THEM BUT IM AFRAID THEYRE GONNA BLOW OUT, OR/AND FALL OUT, WHATEVER, GUESS THATS THE RISK WITH GETTING YOUR PALMS DONE.  THE SHOP HAS SLOWED DOWN A LITTLE SINCE THE FIRST WEEK. IM TAKING HOME ABOUT 100 EUROS A DAY, BUT SHIT, THATS STILL REALLY GOOD AND WEEKLY, MORE THAN I WAS MAKING A MONTH IN SINGAPORE.  ITS FRIDAY AND I HAVE TWO DECENT SIZED APPOINTMENTS TONIGHT.  IVE BEEN PAINTING AGAIN, WHICH IS FUN AND HELPING ME GET MY SKILLS BACK IN ORDER FOR TATTOOING.  ITS PRETTY DIFFICULT BEING AN ENGLISH SPEAKING TATTOOER, I CONSTANTLY HAVE TO RELY ON PEOPLE SMARTER THAN ME TO HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE WANT WITH THEIR TATTOOS.  WHEN I FIRST STARTED ANDRE GAVE ME ADVICE: IF YOU OFFER A GREAT EXPERIENCE, PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS COME BACK, EVEN IF YOUR TATTOOS ARENT THAT GREAT.  IM REALIZING NOW HOW MUCH MY SILVER TONGUE WORKS ITS MAGIC WITH TATTOOING, NOW THAT IVE LOST MY COMMUNICATION I HAVE TO COUNT ON THE TATTOO ALONE, WHICH IS MAKING ME WORK THAT MUCH HARDER! THUS, NO DRINKING OR PARTYING, NO GIRLS OR MISCHIEF, JUST TATTOOING AND SAVING MONEY.  IVE GOT A ROLL OF 100'S THAT I NEED TO SEND HOME TO GET ON MY TRAVEL CARD, WHICH MAY PROVE DIFFICULT.  IM GONNA WAIT FOR REMI AND HIS ENGLISH TO GET BACK DOWN HERE TO HELP OUT.  ITS AMAZING HOW MUCH I AM STARTING TO UNDERSTAND IN FRENCH CONVERSATION, I CANT SPEAK IT BUT IM STARTING TO UNDERSTAND THE JIST OF WHAT OTHERS ARE TALKING ABOUT WHEN THE CONVERSATION ISNT THAT COMPLICATED.  KIND OF INSPIRES ME TO GET BACK TO SCHOOL ONCE IM HOME TO LEARN MORE SPANISH AND FRENCH SO THAT I CAN COME BACK AND DESTROY THIS PLACE! IM MIND HAS BEEN RACING ABOUT WHERE TO GO NEXT.  IM THINKING A QUICK TRIP TO MOROCCO, IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE IT, AND IT WOULD BE MY FIRST STEPS ONTO THE AFRICAN CONTINENT.  IM WAITING ON MY FOLKS AND WRATHS DATES TO START PLANNING A TRIP TO THE BALKANS, GREECE, TURKEY, HOPEFULLY JORDAN THEN EGYPT.  BAD NEWS IS THAT THE EURORAIL IN GREECE IS SHUT DOWN, WHICH IS REALLY GONNA MAKE IT MORE DIFFICULT, BUT GUESS THATS GONNA MAKE THE PAYOFF EVEN BETTER.  I CANT WAIT FOR MY PARENTS TO COME OVER, WE HAVENT BEEN ABROAD SINCE THE FAMILY WENT TO PANAMA LIKE TEN YEARS AGO! EXCITING! ILL BE EXCITED TO JUST HANG OUT HERE IN CORSICA AND EXPORE WITH THEM.  GONNA CALL ZACH TODAY AND SEE IF I CAN TALK HIM INTO JOINING ME FOR THE BALKAN ADVENTURE, HES NEVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE SO IT MAY FREAK HIM OUT A LITTLE TO VENTURE INTO PARTS LIKE THAT, I BELIEVE HE WAS HOPING FOR A MORE EUROPEAN TRIP, BUT IM GONNA TEST HIS COMFORT ZONE AND SEE IF I CAN GET HIM TO LEAVE IT! TATTOOED SOME SWEDISH LADIES YESTERDAY, ONE WAS GORGEOUS BUT LEAVING FOR BONIFACIO TO WORK FOR THE SUMMER...DAMN, THE ENGLISH THEY SPOKE WAS FUCKING MUSIC TO MY EARS! NOW THAT I HAVE ALL THIS MONEY, IM KINDA WANTING TO BUY SOMETHING, OTHER THAN MORE PLANE TICKETS I MEAN, MAYBE SOME NEW SHORTS...& SOCKS, IM WEARING EACH OF THE 4 PAIRS I BROUGHT 3 TIMES BEFORE I WASH EM.  LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND, MAYBE ILL GET OUT AND LET LOOSE A LITTLE...

10 JUNE MMXI

JUNE 3RD MMXI

MAY 28TH MMXI

ITS SATURDAY, THE LAST DAY OF MY FIRST FULL WEEK OF TATTOOING SINCE I LEFT THE STATES.  IM NOT SURE HOW MUCH IVE MADE THIS WEEK, BUT ITS WELL OVER 1000 EUROS.  HOLY FUCKING SHIT, AFTER BEING POOR SINCE JANUARY I FEEL LIKE ZUES WITH SO MUCH MONEY IN MY POCKETS!!! IM SAVING LIKE CRAZY AND HIDING MONEY FROM MYSELF IN AS MANY PLACES AS I THINK I CAN FORGET.  HAVENT BEEN DOING MUCH, WAKE UP, DRINK A GLASS OF COKE WITH THE OLD LADY, SMOKE A CIG AND HEAD TO WORK TILL 8PM, TATTOO ALL DAY AND HEAD HOME TO HAVE DINNER WITH THE FAMILY.  REPEAT.  MY HANDS ARE SLOWLY COMING BACK TO ME, AND IM VERY SLOWLY GETTING MY TATTOOING CONFIDENCE BACK.  HORACCIO HAS LEFT SO ITS JUST ME DOING ALL THE TATTOOS RIGHT NOW. ITS CRAZY.  PUT UP 700 EUROS YESTERDAY, TODAY WILL BLOW THAT OUT OF THE WATER, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TIME TO WRITE THIS.  NOTHING IS BY THE HOUR AT THIS SHOP, EVERYTHING IS BY THE PIECE SO I CAN PRICE HOW EVER I WANT, ITS NUTS, AND JUST LIKE BULLDOG AT HOME! IM HOPING I CAN JUMP IN WITH SOME PEOPLE TO GO DRINKIN TONIGHT...WE WILL SEE.  I REALLY LIKE IT HERE AND AM LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING OUT TO EXPLORE A BIT MORE IN MY CAR. "GRANDMA" (WHO I WILL REFER TO THE OLD LADY AS FROM HENCE FORTH) RENTED ME HER GARDENING CAR FOR 150 EUROS A MONTH, ROUGHLY WHAT A RENTAL WOULD COST ME A DAY, A LITTLE VAN THAT RUNS ON NATURAL GAS & PETROL.  ITS FUN TO DRIVE AGAIN, EVERYONE HERE DRIVES REALLY FAST AND ITS SCARY ALL THE ROADS ARE SUPER WINDY AND ITS HARD TO FIGURE OUT MY WAY AROUND SO FAR, BUT IVE ONLY BEEN HERE A FEW DAYS.  IVE BEEN EATING WITH MY FRENCH FAMILY EVERY NIGHT EXCEPT ON THE NIGHT HORACCIO HAD HIS GOODBYE DINNER, WHICH WAS FUN.  DURING LUNCH FORM NOON TILL ABOUT TWO, TWO THIRTY THE WHOLE CITY SHUTS DOWN EXCEPT THE RESTAURANTS FOR THE CORSICA "CIESTA" ITS FUCKING AWESOME, EVERY MEAL IT SEEMS THERE IS A REQUIRED HOUR TO TWO HOUR SIT AND BULLSHIT TIME, TO DRINK AND SMOKE, I LOVE IT! IVE BEEN EATING DINNER ONLY EVERYDAY, NO SNACKS OR ANYTHING ITS WEIRD, DUNNO IF ITS THE TIME CHANGE OR WHAT BUT IM JUST NOT HUNGRY, MAYBE ITS BECAUSE THERES 3 COURSES AT DINNER IF NOT MORE, I EAT SO MUCH, ESPECIALLY WITH THE LADIES SHOVELING IT DOWN MY THROAT.  THE GIRLS ARE AMAZING, LINA, THE MID AGED LADY CONSTANTLY TELLS ME IM FAMILY, AND SHE LOVES ME.  THE YOUNGEST GIRL IS FUCKING GORGEOUS AND IS THE MOTHER OF ANTONI.  IM PRETTY WORN OUT FROM THE WEEK, ITS SO FUCKING GOOD TO BE TATTOOING AGAIN, AND AT THIS RATE ILL LEAVE WITH WAY MORE THAN I STARTED WITH.  IM BEEN MISSING DRE AND WRATH MORE THAN NORMAL, I HAVE QUESTIONS CONSTANTLY THAT NO ONE CAN ANSWER, IM REALLY HOPING THEY BRING IN A HAMMER FOR ME TO LEARN FROM, I KNOW THEYRE LOOKING.  MY FRENCH IS PROGRESSING EXTREMELY SLOWLY, BUT IM LISTENING TO EVERY CONVERSATION AROUND ME AND PICKING UP NEW WORDS EVERYDAY.  IMAGINE AN ENTIRE TATTOO APPOINTMENT WHERE YOU DONT SHARE THE SAME LANGUAGE, IT GETS TOUGH AND I HAVE TO REDRAW SHIT ALL THE TIME, BUT FUCK AT THESE PRICES WHO GIVES A FUCK! IM LISTENING TO ROSETTA STONE, NOT SURE HOW GOOD THE SHIT IS SO FAR BUT IM TRYING AND HOPE TO BE HOLDING CONVERSATIONS BY THIS TIME NEXT MONTH, AIMING HIGH I KNOW, BUT I PICK UP QUITE A BIT ALREADY JUST WITH MY SPANISH BACKGROUND. IN SHORT SENTENCES AND RESPONSES I TOTALLY COMPREHEND WHATS GOING ON, I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO ANSWER YET. MY APPOINTMENT JUST SHOWED UP, BACK TO WORK!!!

MAY 24TH MMXI

DAY ONE: I WAS UP BY 6AM AND QUIETLY SNUCK AROUND THE HOUSE AND SMOKED CIGARETTES ON MY PORCH TILL 830 DENNY PICKED ME UP AND DROVE ME DOWN TO THE  SHOP, HE OPENED IT UP AND LEFT ME ALONE TO DRAW AND EXPLORE THE SHOP TILL REMI SHOWED UP.  THE SHOP IS AMAZING, ITS FILLED WITH PAINTINGS AND OLD FRAMED MIRRORS.  THE LOBBY HAS OLD VELVET UPHOLSTERED CHAIRS THAT LOOK LIKE THEYRE OUT OF AN OLD FRENCH FILM.  THE VIBE THERE IS GREAT, NO FLASH, JUST A FEW BOOKS ON THE FRONT TABLE.  KRYSTIN SHOWED UP WHO IS THE SHOP MANAGER (SHE SPEAKS NO ENGLISH) AND HORACIO FROM VENTURA FOLLOWED CLOSE BEHIND HER, HORACIO IS A REALLY GOOD TATTOOER, UNFORTUNATELY HE IS LEAVING AT THE END OF THE WEEK FOR THE STATES AFTER 2 PLUS YEARS WORKING AT THE SHOP.  SO ITS GONNA BE ME, DENNY AND KRYSTIN MOST OF THE TIME, NONE OF US HAVE A LANGUAGE WE SHARE!! LOL, ITS GONNA GET INTERESTING. MY FIRST APPOINTMENT BLEW OUT AND I ENDED UP DOING NAMES ALL DAY AND ONE WALK IN, THE SHOP BOUGHT ME LUNCH, IT WAS A GIANT BAGUETTE WITH A HAMBURGER AND FRENCH FRIES WITH THE FRENCH SPICY DIJON MAYO AND KETCHUP…INSANELY GOOD.  AFTER MY SPLIT WITH THE SHOP I WENT HOME WITH 190 EUROS…FUCK YEAH MUTHA FUCKERS…IM BACK IN THE GAME…AJACCION WILL HOLD THE FUTURE FOUNDATIONS TO THE DECADE DE YORKATRONIC…IM GONNA CHANGE MY FATE, IM FUCKING INVINCIBLE.  IM THE WILDCAT ON THE PROWL, IM JESUS ON LSD, IM THE MOON FALLING FROM HEAVEN, IM ELVIS, IM MARK FUCKING ANTHONY, IM ALEXANDER, IM CEASAR, IM MY FATHER, IM WRATH, IM ANDRE, IM EVERY HERO IVE EVER HAD, AND IM THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN ROCK N ROLLER. I GOT HOME AROUND 8 AND SAT OUT WITH THE OLD LADY, HER DAUGHTER, HER GREATGRANDSON AND HER ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS GRAND DAUGHTER WHO LIVES UPSTAIRS (THE ONLY ONE WHOS NAME I KNOW IS ANTONY THE 2 YEAR OLD WHO IS THE CUTEST LITTLE BOY EVER) MY FIRST CLIENT TODAY WAS A LITTLE BLONDE GIRL (IM GUESSING ABOUT 22 YEARS OLD) WHO WAS THE BEST LOOKING GIRL IVE SEEN SINCE IVE BEEN ABROAD, I NEARLY WAS DROOLING ALL OVER HER FEET WHILE I TATTOOED EM.  ALL IN ALL TODAY I LEARNED THAT IF I DONT LEARN FRENCH ITS GONNA BE REALLY FUCKING HARD TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE WANT FOR TATTOOS…NOT GONNA NEED MUCH FRENCH TO GET LAID I DONT THINK…MY SMILE SO FAR IS GOING  A REALLY LONG WAY.  ITS GONNA BE HARD TO FIND A BETTER SET UP ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD.  SPOKE TO WRATH TODAY HE IS GONNA MEET ME IN MUNICH AND MAKE A TRIP TO PRAGUE OR ROMANIA!!! FUCK YES!!! HE WAS HAPPY I MADE IT OUT AND WAS EXCITED I WAS MAKING MONEY, (AS IS MY FOLKS AND THE PEOPLE I SKYPE WITH FREQUENTLY, THEYRE ALL VERY RELIEVED) HE ALSO TOLD ME TO REMEMBER WHY THE WEST ALWAYS WINS.  I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS.  LOL, I MISS MY GUYS SO FUCKING MUCH, NEXT TO MY FOLKS I THINK ABOUT DRE AND WRATH THE MOST, I WISH I HAD MORE MONEY TO SEND THEM ALL SHIT, I KNOW THEYLL UNDERSTAND BUT THAT MAKES ME WANNA SEND EM SHIT EVEN MORE.  I CANT WAIT TO TALK TO MY FOLKS AND FEDERICO, I CANT WAIT TO MAKE MORE MONEY WITH MORE TATTOOING TOMORROW.  I SAID GOD FUCKIN DAMN.

MY HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY ENDED WITH: TODAY, A RISK YOU TOOK IS GOING TO CHANGE THE GAME FOREVER.  

MAY 22ND MMXI

THE JOURNEY TO CORSICA STARTED ON FRIDAY NIGHT AT 9PM, RYAN AND EILIEEN DROPPED ME OFF AT THE AIRPORT AND WE SAID OUR GOODBYES, IMMEDIATELY I WENT INTO SWINDLER MODE TO GET MY TRUNK SHIPPED OFF FOR NOTHING. I HAD A TOTAL OF 239 USD AND LUFTHANSA WANTED 500+ SING TO SHIP IT OFF, MADNESS, AFTER DUMPING A FEW OF MY HEAVIER THINGS INTO MY BACKPACK AND SHOVING THE REST INTO A DUTY FREE BAG WITH MY CIGS I GOT THE GUY AT THE COUNTER TO LET ME THROUGH…THANK BUDDHA! 12 HOURS LATER I ARRIVED IN FRANKFURT GERMANY FOR MY 11+ HOUR LAYOVER, I GOT THE FUCK OUT OF THE AIRPORT AS FAST AS I COULD CHECK MY BAGS AND GET THROUGH CUSTOMS, I RODE THE TRAIN INTO TOWN AT ABOUT 6AM HEAD BUZZING NOT REALLY KNOWING WHAT TIME IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE.  I GRABBED A PREZEL AND A SANDWICH AND WALKED AROUND TILL MY FEET HURT AND HEADED BACK TO THE AIRPORT TO WATCH A MOVIE AND WAIT FOR MY FLIGHT.  I ARRIVED IN CORSICA ON A TINY LITTLE PUDDLE JUMPER, BUMMER IT DIDNT CRASH, BUT THEYLL BE OTHER FLIGHTS I GUESS.  IT WAS AN HOUR AND A HALF FLIGHT FROM GERMANY IF THAT, I GOT TO CORSICA AND WAS SURPRISED THAT THERE WAS NO IMMIGRATION OR CUSTOMS OR ANY VISAS OR ANYTHING, THERE WAS ALSO NO TATTOOED FOLKS THERE TO PICK ME UP, AFTER AN HOUR AND A HALF OF WAITING I CALLED THE SHOP AND TALKED TO REMI, HE ASKED WHERE WAS I, AT THE AIRPORT I SAID, IN BASTIA…OH SHIT! APPARENTLY I WAS SUPPOSED TO FLY INTO THE SOUTHERN SHOP IN AJACCION, I BOOKED MY FLIGHT TO BASTIA, SO 60 EUROS FOR A CAB AND I WAS AT THE SHOP, AGAIN WAITED FOR AN HOUR BEFORE REMI POPPED AROUND THE CORNER APPOLOGIZING AND SAYING HE JUST BOOKED US A ROOM DOWN THE STREET.  PERFECT! I WAS IN AWE OF THIS SEASIDE TOWN ON THE PERFECT BLUE MEDITERANEAN, STACKED ALONG THE STEEP HILLSIDE WERE OLD RUSTIC LOOKING BUILDINGS WITH BRIGHT BLUE SHUDDERS…I FEEL LIKE IM IN A POSTCARD.  AFTER A SHOWER WE WENT TO GENEVIVES HOUSE (ONE OF THE 2 TATTOOERS AT THE BASTIA SHOP) AFTER MEETING HER (FROM RHODE ISLAND, APPRENTICED IN THATI) AND GORGE (FROM SPAIN) I WAS TREATED TO A HOMEMADE LASAGNA DINNER AND LOTS OF WINE AND SANGRIA…MAN, LIFE IS FUCKING GOOD, BY THE TIME WE WERE GONNA HEAD OUT AND HIT THE TOWN 1 AM CORSICA TIME I WAS FADING FAST IT WAS ABOUT 8AM FOR ME AFTER A LONG ASS DAY OF TRAVELING.  I CRASHED THE FUCK OUT BACK AT MY ROOM, THE MORNING CAME QUICK AFTER I SNORTED XANEX TO KNOCK ME OUT, REMI WAS KNOCKING ON MY DOOR TO MEET HIM AT THE CAFE IN 10 MINUTES, AFTER I ROLLED MY ASS OUT OF BED I WENT DOWN AND HAD COFFEE WITH HIM AND A GIRLFRIEND OF HIS AND WE ENDED UP SITTING AND CHILLIN FOR ABOUT AN HOUR OR TWO BEFORE WE WENT, HAD LUNCH AND DID A LITTLE EXPLORING BEFORE WE HAD TO CATCH THE TRAIN TO AJACCION.  THE TRAIN WAS GREAT, WE TRAVELED NEARLY THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF THE ISLAND THROUGH THE JAGGED AND LUSH GREEN MOUNTIANS AND I GOT TO SEE A LOT OF THE ISLAND…ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS HOW FUN IT WOULD BE TO FLY FISH WITH MY DAD IN THE MANY RIVERS AND STREAMS I SAW FROM THE TRIAN. WE ARRIVED AND I GOT TO MEET DENNY, THE SHOP OWNER, WHO IS A GREAT GUY WHO SPEAKS LITTLE ENGLISH, HE DROVE ME AROUND TOWN AND WE SWUNG BY THE SHOP, THE SHOP IS AMAZING, I CANT WAIT TO POST PICTURES, THERE WAS AN APPOINTMENT BOOK ON MY STATION THAT WAS BOOKED OUT FOR THE NEXT 3 DAYS STARTING TOMORROW AT SHOP OPENING-FUCKING AMAZING.  THEN WE DROVE UP INTO THE MOUNTAINS A BIT AND TO THE APARTMENT DENNY HAD LINED UP FOR ME.  WE DROVE DOWN A DIRT ROAD AND WALKED UP TO A PORCH TO ABOUT 8 PEOPLE EATING DINNER, WE WERE IMMEDIATELY GREETED AND THE ELDEST WOMAN THERE WAS LITTERALLY FORCE FEEDING ME THESE BBQ BEEF STICK THINGS ON PERFECT FRENCH BREAD AND REFILLING MY GLASS OF WINE EVERY 5 MINUTES, THE GIRLS AT THE TABLE DEMANDED TO SEE MY TATTOOS AND WERE GOING ON AND ON ABOUT HOW HANDSOME I WAS.  I FELT RIGHT AT HOME, ITS A LITTLE DIFFICULT TO COMMUNICATE BUT ILL GET OVER IT.  ONE OF THE GENTLEMEN AT THE TABLE OFFERED TO TAKE ME FLYFISHING AND BORE HUNTING…IM TOTALLY GONNA TRY AND TAKE HIM UP ON THAT!!! AFTER I WAS TOO FULL TO BE COMFORTABLE AND HAD A LITTLE BUZZ GOING I WAS SHOWN TO MY ROOM IN THE ELDEST WOMANS HOUSE-IM LIVING IN A ROOM IN HER HOUSE THATS A LITTLE OLD AND DEF FEELS LIKE A GRANDMAS HOUSE, I HAVE A LITTLE BALCONY AND THE PAINT IS PEELING OFF THE CEILING…I FUCKING LOVE IT HERE, IM SO PLEASED, AT MOMENTS ON THE TRAIN TODAY I HAD TO STOP AND THINK ABOUT THE REASONS IM SO FUCKING LUCKY, THE REASONS I GET TO DO AND SEE THESE THINGS: 1. THE PEOPLE THE SUPPORT MY MADNESS. 2. THE FACT THAT I TAKE BIG RISKS AND BELIEVE THAT ANYTHING I POSSIBLE. IVE BEEN CRITIZED SO OFTEN FOR THE LATTER…BUT THATS WHY IM HERE, THATS WHY I TRY AND FAIL THATS WHAT DRIVES ME. THANK YOU TO MY MANY DOUBTERS, YOU MAKE MY LIFE WORTH LIVING.

MAY 19TH MMXI

MAY 17TH MMXI

GOODBYE RYAN LEE'S SINGAPORE...

IVE GOT THE JOB IN CORSICA! IN A TOWN CALLED BASTIA ILL BE WORKING AT BULLDOG TATTOO (CRAZY HUH?? SAME SHOP NAME SO ALL MY BULLDOG TATTOO PARLOR SHIRTS WILL BE SEAMLESS!) I GOTTA GIVE IT TO THIS COUNTRY, AFTER ALL THE MADNESS UP NORTH, COMING BACK TO SINGAPORE IVE REALLY APPRECIATED THE INSANITY OF HOW ORGANIZED THIS COUNTRY IS.  IF THERE WERE MORE COUNTRIES LIKE THIS THE WORLD WOULD BE A LOT BETTER OFF.  GRANTED THERE IS A DOWNSIDE TO EVERYTHING, BUT AT NO TIME DURING MY 5 MONTH STAY HAVE I EVER FELT THREATENED, WHICH IS A STARK CONTRAST FROM THE STATES.  IT WOULD BE A COUPLE BLOCKS AWAY FROM MY HOUSE IN TACOMA BEFORE I FELT LIKE I MAY HAVE NEEDED TO BRING MY PISTOL ON A DARK NIGHT.  HERE, YOU CAN WANDER DOWN THE DIRTIEST ALLY AND NOT EVEN FLINCH.  THEN AGAIN IM A PRETTY BIG GUY COMPARED TO THE LOCALS.  ONE OF THE GREAT THINGS ABOUT SINGAPORE IS THE VARIETY OF PEOPLE, EVERY RACE YOU COULD IMAGINE PACKED 5 MILLION DEEP ON THIS TINY ISLAND, I HONESTLY STILL DONT HAVE A CLUE HOW EVERYONE FITS IN THIS PLACE. THERE IS MORE PUBLIC TRANSPORT AND PARKS THAN ONE COULD INVESTIGATE IN THE SHORT TIME IVE BEEN HERE.  IN SINGAPORE, MILITARY SERVICE AND VOTING ARE COMPULSORY, CHEW AND GUM ARE ILLEGAL, BOOKS AND WEBSITES (INCLUDING PORN) ARE BANNED/BLOCKED, ITS EXPENSIVE AS FUCK BUT IVE LEARNED A GREAT DEAL AND DONE SOME THINGS HERE THAT ARE BURNED INTO MY MEMORY FOREVER.  I LIVED ON THE FAMOUS CARPE DIEM, WORKED AT KUSTOM 7 TATTOOS, MADE SOME AMAZING NEW FRIENDS INCLUDING FEDERICO, JAP, EILEEN, TREES, KEVIN AND KELS, YVES, CHRIS, MARK, AND MANY OTHERS!, GOT TO HANG OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS I MADE LAST TIME THAT CONSTANTLY MADE ME SMILE: RYAN, MYLES, EDDIE, TOMCAT, ADANG, MEL, YIN AND MICHELLE.  IM A LUCKY GUY TO BE TREATED SO FUCKING WELL AT EVERY TURN DESPITE MY OBVIOUS FAULTS AS AN AMERICAN ROCK N ROLLER. IVE SPENT THE MOST TIME WITH RYAN AND FEDERICO, BOTH MEN ARE GIANTS AND I COUNT MYSELF LUCKY TO KNOW THEM AT ALL. THEYVE BEEN HERE AT EVERY TURN AND HAVE TAUGHT ME SO MUCH.  THANKS GUYS, I LOVE YOU BOTH.  SOME DAY ILL PAY BACK THE FAVOR WITH GRANDEUR! IM OFF TO THE NEXT ADVENTURE, I LEAVE LATE THURSDAY NIGHT, GONNA TRY AND GET THE FIRST PART OF THE RACE TO HO CHI MINH VIDEO OFF BEFORE I SPLIT.  LIFE IS WAY TOO GOOD TO ME, I OWE IT ALL TO THOSE THAT LOVE ME.  THANK YOU.

MAY 12TH MMXI

RETROSPECTIVE: THE RACE TO HO CHI MINH

THIS IS MY RECAP, NOW THAT IM BACK IN SINGAPORE ITS REALLY PUT INTO PERSPECTIVE HOW WILD IT GOT UP NORTH. BOOZE, GIRLS, GETTING RUN OVER, OPIUM, AND MORE CULTURAL EDUCATION THAN YOU SHOULD FIT INTO ONE BRAIN.  40 DAYS DOESNT SOUND LIKE MUCH, BUT WITH ONLY A 13 KILO BAG INCLUDING TATTOO EQUIPMENT, LIMITED MONEY AND THE RIGHT ATTITUDE, 40 DAYS MAY AS WELL HAVE BEEN A YEAR.  MAY AS WELL HAVE BEEN AN EON WITH THE ABUSE I FIT INTO THOSE 40 FUCKIN DAYS BABY...YEAH. IVE REALIZED THAT TIME SLOWS DOWN THE MORE YOU FIT INTO ONE DAY, AFTER THE RACE TO HO CHI MINH I REALIZE HOW MUCH I FUCKIN MISS BACK HOME, OR ANYWHERE IN THE STATES.  ITS PROOF TO ME THAT THE RULES OF SOCIETY, THAT STAGNANT WASTE OF BREATH IT IS TO HAVE A HOME, MORTGAGE, MONOGAMY, KIDS,  WHATEVER TO PROVE YOURE A FUCKING GROWN UP.  FUCK THAT.  ID RATHER FUCKING STARVE AND BURN. I TRY TO PROVE THAT SOCIETIES RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN, GUESS THATS ANOTHER DREAM I CAN CHASE. NOW THAT IVE RAMBLED ON, BACK TO THE RECAP: THE RACE STARTED WITH PATONG BEACH IN PHUKET THAILAND, 2 WEEKS OF WORKING WITH SOME AMAZING PEOPLE AT SIAM INK, I MADE SOME AMAZING FRIENDS THERE, INCLUDING FRIENDS OF THEIRS FROM OZ, DIDNT TATTOO A LOT BUT LEARNED MORE THAN I COULDVE EVER EXPECTED, WHAT A GIFT. I GOT RUN OVER BY A GIRL ON A SCOOTER GOING 50K PER HOUR...AWESOME.  I MET FEDE LITTLE OVER HALF WAY THROUGH AT KO PHI PHI, THAT ISLAND IS INCREDIBLE AND A PLACE ONE COULD DEFINITELY DISAPPEAR INTO FOR A LONG TIME, PHUKET PROVED TO BE A PLACE TO PARTY, I DRANK A WHOLE LOT AND SLEPT WITH LOADS OF GIRLS THERE, INCLUDING A FEW IVE THOUGHT ABOUT SINCE IVE LEFT, ESPECIALLY THAT SEXY LITHUANIAN.  FROM PHUKET WE FLEW TO CHIANG MAI, WHICH WAS A HUGE CHANGE OF PACE, NO DRINKING, ALL CULTURE.  WE MUST HAVE VISITED A HUNDRED TEMPLES, PLAYED WITH TIGERS, ROAD ELEPHANTS, WENT TO SNAKE SHOWS AND GOT A MAGIC TATTOO FROM A MONK. CHIANG RAI WAS MORE OF THE SAME AND IN BETWEEN LONG BUS RIDES WE GOT OURSELVES ONTO A RIKITY OLD TRAIN AND HEADED TO BANGKOK, THE TRAIN WAS BRUTAL, WE HAD SEATS AND AS I TRIED TO SLEEP I WAS ALMOST THROWN FROM IT AT LEAST TWICE DUE TO THE ROCKING ON THE TRACKS. BANGKOK WAS ALL ABOUT PARTYING, WE STAYED ON COSSAM ROAD, WHICH IS THE BACKPACKER MECCA, THOUSANDS OF EM! WE GOT THE SHITTIEST ROOM IVE EVER STAYED IN, MY ARMS SPANNED THE WIDTH OF THE ROOM AND FEDE AND I WERE SHARING A QUEEN SIZED BED NEXT TO THE LOUDEST JAPANESE KIDS IVE EVER HEARD.  THEY WERE TALKING NEXT TO OUR PAPER THIN WALLS TILL 3 AM NIGHTLY AND UP EVERY MORNING TO TALK MORE AT 6 AM.  THE TEQUILA STARTED IN BANGKOK AND CONTINUED FOR THE REST OF THE TRIP, I GOT FEDE SUPER DRUNK SO WE COULD HIT THE PING PONG SEX SHOW...HOLY FUCK, WHAT THESE GIRLS WERE DOING WITH THIER VAGINAS WAS RIDICULOUS.  THE TOPPER OF THAT SHOW WAS THE LIVE FULL PENETRATION SEX SHOW AT THE END-WEIRD, LIVE PORNO, CANT SAY I KNOW ANYONE THATS SEEN THAT BEFORE.  AFTER BANGKOK IT WAS OFF TO THE CAMBODIA BORDER, WE WERE HUSTLED FOR OUR MONEY AT A "FAKE VISA PLACE" WE CROSSED THE BORDER FOR ANOTHER 3 HOUR DRIVE BY TAXI TO SIEM REAP, SIEM REAP WAS GREAT WE MET UP WITH ABOUT 10 OTHER PEOPLE OUR AGE AND GOT OUR PARTY BACK ON UNTIL MORNING WHEN IT WAS TIME TO HIT ANGKOR WAT.  ANGKOR WAT LOOKED LIKE SOMETHING ALIENS WOULDVE BUILT, AND IN MY OPINION SOMETHING EVERYONE SHOULD SEE.  AFTER SIEM REAP IT WAS OFF TO THE CAMBODIAN CAPITAL PHNOM PENH, WE HOOKED BACK UP WITH SOME ENGLISH GIRLS THERE, WHOM WE HUNG OUT WITH FOR THE REST OF THE RACE. IN PHNOM PENH THE HIGHLIGHT WAS THE KILLING FIELDS AND LEARNING ABOUT THE MASS GENOCIDE THAT HAPPENED IN CAMBODIA IN THE LATE SEVENTIES. CAMBODIA IS A SOBERING PLACE, SEEING KIDS WITH DIRTY TEETH AND NO SHOES, MOTHERS AND THEIR NAKED BABIES SLEEPING ON THE STREETS SURE MADE ME OPEN MY WALLET A DOLLAR AT A TIME TO ALL THE KIDS THAT WERE BEGGING, AFTER I SAW THE FIRST GIANT SMILE I GOT FOR A BUCK I HAD TO SEE IT AGAIN. FEDE AND I WERE READY TO LEAVE FOR VIETNAM AFTER A COUPLE DAYS AND FOUND OUT WE WOULD BE STUCK FOR AN ADDITIONAL 24 HOURS (AND AN EXTRA $50 USD) WHILE WE WAITED FOR OUR VIETNAM VISAS (APPARENTLY YOUVE GOTTA APPLY EARLY) THE NEXT DAY WAS BRUTAL, SPENDING MONEY TO KILL TIME AND NO SHOWERS TO GET ON A NIGHT BUS TO GET TO HO CHI MINH CITY AT 6 AM.  HO CHI MINH CITY IS A BUSTLING SLEEPLESS CITY, I WAS THROUGHLY IMPRESSED, WE DIDNT SEE A LOT OF SITES BUT OUR TRIP TO THE BINH SOUP SHOP WAS MY HIGHLIGHT, EATING SOUP WHERE THE TET OFFENSIVE WAS PLANNED WAS PRETTY AMAZING TO ME.  WE ALL DECIDED TO HEAD TO NHA TRANG ABOUT 10 HOUR NIGHT BUS UP NORTH TO LAY AROUND ON THE BEACH AND FUCK OFF.  NHA TRANG WAS LESS THAN HALF THE PACE OF SAIGON, WE ALL WELCOMED THE CHANGE TO A BEACH TOWN WITH WHITE BEACHES COMPARED TO BEING LOCKED IN THE JUNGLE FOR SO LONG.  SUNBURNS, SNORKLING, DRINKS AND FUN FOLLOWED.  WE SAID GOODBYE TO THE ENGLISH GIRLS THERE AND HEADED BACK TO HO CHI MINH TO RETURN TO SINGAPORE, WE GOT BACK, I SPENT LITERALLY MY LAST 3 SING DOLLARS ON THE TRAIN AND FEDE AND I WERE BACK ON THE CARPE DIEM AT RAFFLES MARINA MARVELING ABOUT BEING "HOME." THE NEXT NIGHT WE ALL RELUCTANTLY SAID OUR GOODBYES TO FEDERICO.  IVE BEEN ALONE HERE FOR A COUPLE DAYS NOW, ITS A BUMMER, BUT ILL SEE HIM SOON I HAVE THE EERIE FEELING. IVE BEEN EATING A SPOON FULL OF PEANUT BUTTER FOR BREAKFAST, SMOKING BUTTS OUT OF THE TRAYS (TODAY IVE SMOKE 4 CIGS...THATS INCREDIBLE), IVE EATEN NOTHING BUT MAGGIE NOODLES SINCE IVE BEEN BACK (2 PACKS A DAY) SOON THE FOOD WILL RUN OUT, BUT LIKE I SAID, HUNGER MEANS PROGRESS AND GOING WITHOUT IS THE KNOWLEDGE I LEFT HOME FOR. HEY, AT LEAST IVE GOT THE INTERNET.  WAITING ON CORSICA STILL, WEVE TALKED, WAITING TO SEE IF THEYLL HIRE ME AND BUY THE FLIGHT TO GET THE ROCK ROLLING. THE RACE WAS GOOD, 3 COUNTRIES LATER IVE LEARNED SO MUCH, EXPERIENCED MORE THAN I BARGAINED FOR, AND FEEL LIKE I GOT THE FIRST REAL ADVENTURE OUT OF THE WAY.

EDWIN GOT A LAST NAME: LOVECRAFT.

EDWIN LOVECRAFT, LADYKILLER.

MAY 9TH MMXI

BACK IN HO CHI MINH CITY NOW, WE LEFT THE MADNESS OF THIS PLACE A FEW DAYS AGO FOR THE MUCH SLOWER PACED NHA TRANG BEACH TOWN.  IT WAS A TEN HOUR SLEEPER BUS RIDE PAST THE NEON GREEN RICE FIELDS TO ARRIVE IN A SMALL CITY WITH QUIET WHITE SAND BEACHES.  WITHIN 3 HOURS OF OUR FIRST DAY ALL FOUR OF US WERE MORE SUNBURNT THAN IVE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE, EVEN WITH THE LIBERAL APPLICATION OF SUNSCREEN EVERY 30 MINUTES OR SO.  DAY TWO WE WOKE UP EARLY TO CATCH A BOAT TOUR OF THE ISLANDS AND DO SOME SNORKLING, THE REEFS WERE AMAZING AND LIKE NOTHING IVE EVER SEEN BEFORE. AFTER I WAS BORED OF CHASING THE UNDERWATER FISHES AROUND I WENT TRESURE HUNTING FOR SHELLS ON THE SEA FLOOR, I WAS LIKE A KID AND THE LAST ONE BACK IN THE BOAT, IT WAS FUN AND A RARE OPPORTUNITY TO THINK OF NOTHING ELSE, I REALLY LIKE THE TRANQUILITY OF THE SEA WHEN YOURE SNORKLING. THE TEAM OF MYSELF, THE TWO LADIES FROM ENGLAND AND FEDE TURNED OUT TO BE QUITE THE TEAM.  I GET FRUSTRATED WITH OTHERS EASILY WHEN THEY DONT HAVE TOLERANCE FOR OTHER CULTURES, WHICH I NEVER VOICE, BUT IM LEARNING THAT IM QUITE THE TOLERANT MAN. OUR SECOND FULL DAY WE WERE ALL HUNGOVER, SO AFTER A LATE START WE HEADED OUT TO THIS ISLAND FUCK AND GONE OUT OF THE WAY AND ABOUT 1  MILLION DONG LATER TO RIDE FUCKIN OSTRICHES, WE WERE ALL STOKED, ESPECIALLY ME DREAMING OF BEING ONE OF THE KIDS IN SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON, ALAS THOUGH, WHEN I ARRIVE A LITTLE TINY VIETNAMESE MAN, SAID: NO!!, TOO BIG!!! AND THAT WAS THE END OF IT.  SO THE OTHER 3 OF THE CREW TOOK A LAP AROUND THE "TRACK" AND THAT WAS IT.  GOTTA SAY THOUGH, HEARING FEDE LAUGH LIKE THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY, I WAS HAPPY THAT HE WAS ABLE TO MARK IT OFF HIS BUCKET LIST.  LAST NIGHT WE HAD OUR GOODBYE DINNER WITH THE GIRLS AND HOPPED ON THE BUS, AGAIN TEN HOURS, BUT THIS TIME WE WERE CRAMMED IN THE BOTTOM BACK END OF THE BUS PACKED LIKE SARDINES WITH 5 OTHER GUYS, IT WAS BRUTAL AND FUCKING BLAZING HOT.  WE ARRIVED THIS MORNING AT ABOUT 6AM IN SAIGON, WEVE BEEN TRYING TO KILL TIME WRITING BLOG POSTS AND BUYING UP VIETNAM WAR PROPAGANDA POSTERS WITH THE FEW DONG I HAVE LEFT.  IM SWEATING THE AIRPORT, IF THEY WEIGH MY BAG IM FUCKED, I HAVE NO MONEY TO PAY FOR LUGGAGE AND CANT EXACTLY LEAVE MY FUCKING TATTOO MACHINES.  I MAY HAVE TO BOARD THE PLANE WITH 5 PAIRS OF CLOTHES ON, WHAT A NIGHTMARE.  VIETNAM HAS BEEN AMAZING TO ME, THE PEOPLE HERE ARE VERY FRIENDLY WHEN THE TAXI DRIVERS ARE NOT TRYING TO EXTORT ALL YOUR MONEY FROM YOU, ID LOVE TO COME BACK AND SEE HANOI AND MORE OF THE NORTH SOMETIME SOON.  HEADED BACK TO SINGAPORE TO BE BROKE AND OUT OF CIGS FOR A COUPLE WEEKS AND WORK ON THE RACE TO HO CHI MINH VIDEOS TO POST UP, I HAVE SO MUCH GOOD FOOTAGE ITS RIDICULOUS, I THINK IM GONNA BREAK IT INTO 3 PARTS: THAILAND, SAK YANT, AND CAMBODIA/VIETNAM.

QUOTE OF THE MONTH BELONGS TO LAURA TAYLOR (FROM BRIGHTON):

"YOULL HAVE UPS, YOULL HAVE DOWNS YORKATRON, BUT ITS ALL ROCK N ROLL."

COULDNT HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF.

MAY 5TH MMXI

IN HO CHI MINH CITY VIETNAM FOR THE LAST COUPLE DAYS, ITS ORGANIZED CHAOS HERE, A PULSING MEGA CITY OF MADNESS, IVE NEVER SEEN SO MANY SCOOTERS IN MY LIFE! I SWEAR THERES MILLIONS OF THEM! FACEBOOK IS BANNED HERE AND ITS REALLY DIFFICULT TO HACK AROUND IT.  FROM WHAT IVE READ ITS AN ATTEMPT TO STOP GOSSIP AND OUTSIDE OPINION ON THE UPCOMING CONGRESS SESSION.  ITS EXCITING FOR ME TO BE HERE, I HAVE GREAT FAITH IN SOCIALISM AND SEEING THE SICKLE AND HAMMER FLAGS EVERYWHERE IN THIS ECONOMY THAT IS SURELY SOON TO EXPLODE ON THE WORLD MARKET I FEEL GOOD KNOWING THAT DEMOCRACY ISNT THE ONLY SYSTEM THAT CAN WORK, VIETNAM HAS THEIR SHIT TOGETHER, THEY KNOW IT WHICH I BELIEVE MAKES THEM WORK EVEN HARDER.  THE FIRST DAY HERE WE WENT TO THE WAR REMNANTS MUSEUM (FORMERLY NAMED THE AMERICAN ATROCITIES MUSEUM) WHERE WE SAW SOME PRETTY GRAPHIC PHOTOGRAPHS, EXPLODED ORDINANCE, HELICOPTERS, TANKS ETC FROM THE WAR.  IT WAS PRETTY CRAZY TO SEE IT THROUGH THE EYES OF THE PEOPLE HERE AND A GOOD EXPERIENCE FOR ME.  YESTERDAY THE HIGHLIGHT FOR ME WAS THIS PLACE CALLED PHO BINH, WHICH MEANS "PEACE SOUP" THE SOUP WAS THE BEST PHO IVE EVER HAD, AMAZING, BUT EVEN BETTER, THIS LITTLE HOLE IN THE WALL SOUP SHOP WAS THE SECRET SAIGON HEADQUARTERS FOR THE VIETCONG, WHERE THE ENTIRE TET OFFENSIVE WAS STAGED, I ATE IN THE PLACE WHERE THE PLANS WERE MADE THAT CHANGED THE DIRECTION OF THE WAR.  AMAZING.  ITS HOT HERE, BUT NOT NEARLY AS HOT AS THAILAND, CAMBODIA OR SINGAPORE WHICH IS NICE, I STILL SWEAT THROUGH A SHIRT A DAY AND DONT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR LAUNDRY.  IM OUT OF DEODORANT TOO BUT IM SO FAR FROM CARING ITS FUNNY.  TODAY WE TOOK A SHORT BUS RIDE TO THE MEKONG RIVER AND DID A RIVER TOUR OF SOME OF THE LITTLE ISLANDS, IT WAS PRETTY FUN.  TONIGHT WE ARE TAKING THE NIGHT BUS TO NHU TRANG, WHICH HAS A GREAT BEACH TO END THE RACE TO HO CHI MINH, ITS A 10 HOUR BUS RIDE OVERNIGHT (WHICH SAVES US ON ACCOMODATION) BUT FUCKING HELL IM NOT READY FOR IT, IM SO FUCKING SICK OF BUSES.  THEN ITS BACK TO THE GRIND IN SINGAPORE, HOPEFULLY ILL BE HEADED TO CORSICA ASAP TO START THE NEXT CHAPTER THERE.

MAY 2ND MMXI

MY TEQUILA SUPER POWERS DIDNT LAST AS LONG AS THEY SHOULDVE OUR LAST NIGHT DRINKING WITH THE CAMBODIAN CREW.  PROBABLY HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE MEHKONG WHISKEY AND OPIUM I DECIDED TO MIX WITH EVERYTHING, IN THE END, I WENT TO BED FEELING LIKE THE CZAR DEVINE.  SO NICE.  WHILE WE WERE IN NORTHERN THAILAND I READ A STORY AT THE OPIUM MUSEUM ABOUT THE ORIGINATION OF THE POPPIE: THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THAILAND HAD 7 SUITORS, UNABLE TO DECIDE ON WHICH ONE TO MARRY, SHE SLEPT WITH ALL OF THEM AND THEN DIED, ON HER GRAVE GREW THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FLOWER, WHEN HARVESTED, IT GAVE THE USER THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FEELINGS, WITH THE GRAVEST OF CONSEQUENCES. THE FUNNY THING ABOUT CAMBODIA IS THAT EVERY TUK TUK DRIVER, HOSTEL STAFF AND WEIRDO ON THE STREET IS TRYING TO SELL YOU MARIJUANA, OPIUM AND COCAINE. FEDE AND I HAVE BEEN EXPLORING PHNOM PENH AND RUNNING AROUND LIKE USUAL, WE WENT TO THE KILLING FIELDS AND THE GENOCIDE MUSEUM WHERE 10S OF THOURSANDS OF CAMBODIANS WERE BRUTALLY MURDERED IN THE 1970S, OVER 3 MILLION PEOPLE WERE SLAUGHTERED IN AN ATTEMPT TO EVEN OUT THE ECONOMIC DIFFERENCE BETWEEN POOR AND RICH.  3 MILLION PEOPLE IN A LITTLE OVER 3 YEARS.  INCLUDING PITS THAT WERE FULL OF MOTHERS AND BABIES, THE BABIES WHOM WERE THROWN INTO THE PITS SECOND AFTER BEING SWUNG BY THEIR ANKLES AND SMASHED INTO A TREE ON THE GROUNDS...FUCKING BRUTAL. I WANTED TO FEEL WORSE ABOUT EVERYTHING I WAS SEEING, BUT THE WHOLE TIME IVE BEEN IN CAMBODIA THE CHILDREN WORKING AND BEGGING FOR MONEY HAVE HAD THE BIGGEST IMPACT ON ME.  IM A SUCKER FOR EVERY KID THAT COMES UP AND ASKS FOR A DOLLAR WHICH IS QUICKLY DRAINING MY RESOURCES BUT AT LEAST I FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT.  NAKED KIDS SLEEPING ON THE STREETS WITH THIER MOTHERS IS SOMETHING I DONT BELIEVE ANY AMERICAN COULD GET USED TO. IN ALL OF CAMBODIA I DONT BELIEVE IVE SEEN ONE SINGLE TRAFFIC LIGHT, PEOPLE ARE DRIVING AROUND LIKE MAD! CAMBODIA ALSO HAS NO RAIL SYSTEM...THINK ABOUT THAT, ITS PRETTY CRAZY. WE TRIED TO GET TO VIETNAM YESTERDAY AND FOUND OUT THAT WE NEEDED TO APPLY AT LEAST 2 DAYS IN ADVANCE TO GET OVER THE BORDER WHICH HAS COST US A FULL DAY WITH NO ROOM OUT IN THE HEAT AND ABOUT 50 USD THAT WE COULDVE SAVED.  THIS TRIP IS  WINDING DOWN AND WE BOTH KNOW THAT THE END IN HO CHI MIN IS COMING QUICK.  IF WE CAN AFFORD IT WE ARE GOING TO TRY TO MAKE IT TO THE BEACH IN VIETNAM TO END OUT THE TRIP WITH SOME SAND AND SUN AFTER BEING IN THE JUNGLE FOR SO LONG.  BEEN IN CONTACT WITH BULLDOG TATTOO IN CORSICA, ITS LOOKING PRETTY GOOD, BUT NO CELEBRATION TILL I GET THAT TICKET!  THE RACE TO HO CHI MIN FINISH LINE IS WITHIN SIGHT, ITS 9 HOURS OF WAITING AND A 6 HOUR BUS RIDE AWAY, I REALLY HOPE THE BUS IS UP TO PAR.

APRIL 28TH MMXI

AFTER SAYING GOODBYE TO THAILAND, WE HEADED OUT ON A 6 HOUR BUS RIDE TO GET TO SIEM REAP IN CAMBODIA, WE GOT HUSTLED FOR A FEW HUNDRED BHAT AT THE BORDER ON A "FAKE VISA SCAM"THEY TRIED TO PULL US INTO EVERY SCHEME IMAGINABLE, LUCKILY WE ONLY GOT HIT A ABOUT $20 US EACH.  I INSTANTLY STARTED MISSING THE CULTURAL DISNEYLAND OF THAILAND, ALTHOUGH I WAS STILL REALLY EXCITED TO BE IN A NEW COUNTRY, WE COULD TELL IMMEDIATELY THAT WE HAD CROSSED THE BORDER BY THE BUILDINGS, PEOPLE AND TRANSPORT PEOPLE ON THE STREET WERE USING.  AFTER GETTING TO A DECENT HOSTEL ($20US PER NIGHT FOR 2 BEDS CABLE AND AIR CON) WE HOOKED UP WITH 3 BRITISH GUYS AND A DUDE FROM MONTANA, WHO WAS THE FIRST AMERICAN MY AGE IVE SEEN IN AGES, WE DECIDED TO HEAD OUT ON THE TOWN AND GET WILD, OUR CREW QUICKLY GREW BY DOUBLE AND WE HAD ABOUT 13 PEOPLE INCLUDING SOME GIRLS FROM SEATTLE AND PORTLAND ALONG WITH SOME NICE BRITISH GIRLS FROM BRIGHTON,  I DECIDED TO ONLY TAKE SHOTS OF TEQUILA, BY THE END OF THE NIGHT I WAS ABOUT 13 DEEP AND FEELING LOVELY AND TALKING ALL KINDS OF MADNESS TO ALL THE GIRLS.  AFTER 2 NIGHTS LIKE THAT I REALIZED THAT TEQUILA TURNS ME MASSIVE, INTO A MONSTER THAT SAYS ONLY WHAT HE THINKS, IM THE TEQUILA DRINKING FAST TALKING SUPER SWINDLER! THE LADIES WERE POWERLESS AGAINST MY NEW POWERS, ESPECIALLY THE ULTRA KINKY ENGLISH GIRL I BEDDED LAST NIGHT, ITS ALWAYS FUN BEING A GIRLS LITTLE TRIP TO THE DARK SIDE, MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A TITAN. BOTH DAYS I SOMEHOW WOKE UP WITH NO HANGOVER MIRACULOUSLY, I THINK I MAY BE IMMUNE TO THEM NOW AFTER THESE MONTHS OF HEAVY DRINKIN. WE WENT TO ANGKOR WAT THE FIRST DAY AND I WAS IN AWE, LIKE I IMAGINE I WILL BE WHEN I SEE THE PYRAMIDS.  HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF GIANT TEMPLES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE JUNGLE, HUGE MOATS AND CARVINGS ON EVERYTHING, IT WAS INCREDIBLE.  THE NIGHT LIFE HERE IS QUITE FUN, ITS A SMALL TOWN SO EVERYONE GOES TO THE SAME SMALL STRETCH OF ROAD CALLED PUB STREET AND GETS PISSED, PRETTY FUN, EVERY TUK TUK DRIVER IS OFFERING US WEED COKE AND OPIUM, ITS PRETTY NUTS.  IM HAVING FUN EMBRACING THE BAD IN ME, TALKING FILTHY AND BE AWFUL. IF I COULDVE COUNTED HOW MANY TIMES I HEAD THE GIRLS SAY "YOURE SUCH A NAUGHTY BASTARD!" ID RUN OUT OF FINGERS AND TOES.  WITH THE NEW PROSPECT FOR POSSIBLY HAVING A JOB IN FRANCE THAT WILL ACTUALLY PUT MONEY IN THE BANK IVE GOT A NEW LEASE ON SHIT, HONESTLY ANYTHING THATLL COULD GET ME OUTTA SINGAPORE DAMN NEAR GETS MY DICK HARD.  ASKED GORDON TO WRITE ME AN EMAIL OF RECOMMENDATION FOR ME, HE DID AND HALI (HIS WIFE) INFORMED ME THATS ITS SUPER AND SHOULD GET ME THE JOB, THAT GUY IS MY FUCKIN HERO, WHAT LUCK I HAVE TO HAVE SUCH A GREAT FRIEND LIKE HIM, IM SO WELL TAKEN CARE OF ITS RIDICULOUS. TODAY WE WENT OUT TO THE FLOATING VILLAGE ON THE BIG LAKE HERE, IT WAS CRAZY, EXTREMELY POOR, LITTLE KIDS FLOATING AROUND IN LARGE ALUMINUM TUBS WITH A STICK FOR AN OAR BEGGING FOR MONEY, I GAVE IN A FEW TIMES AND TOOK THEIR PICTURES, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY ANGELINA ADOPTED ONE.  TOMORROW, WE ARE HEADED BY BOAT MOST LIKELY TO GO DOWN TO PHNOM PHEN AND SEE A FEW THINGS THERE BEFORE HEADING TO VIETNAM, STILL NOT SURE IF RYAN AND EDDIE ARE GONNA MEET US THERE STILL OR NOT, BUT WE HAVE PICKED UP THE 2 ENGLISH GIRLS AS HITCHHIKERS WHICH KINDA KEEPS THE COST DOWN, WHICH IS AWESOME, I GOTTA MAKE THE REST OF THE TRIP WORK WITH $327, YEESH.  HOPEFULLY MY NEXT POST WILL BE ME OOZING ABOUT MY NEW JOB IN FRANCE.

ILL LIVE FOREVER, THERES NO TOMORROW.

APRIL 26TH MMXI

FOLLOWING UP ON THE LAST POST, IVE BORROWED $600 BUCKS FOR THE LAST LEG OF MY TRIP. I FEEL DEFEATED, ASHAMED AND GUILTY ABOUT IT.  I HATE FUCKING ASKING FOR HELP. BUT THATS HOW IT IS I SUPPOSE, THE NEW MISSION ONCE BACK IN SINGAPORE IS TO MAKE AS MUCH MONEY AS POSSIBLE, KEEPING MY HEAD DOWN AND MY NOSE CLEAN TILL I MAY RISE AGAIN TO CONQUER.  THE THOUGHTS OF HEADING HOME AND GIVING UP ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO ESCAPE.  IM SITTING IN THE GUEST HOUSE ON OUR LAST NIGHT, SPENT MY LAST 50 BHAT ON THE COMPUTER TO WRITE THIS, AND AS THE SMOKE FROM THE HANGING CIG FROM MY LIPS BURNS MY EYES, IM WISHING I WAS A BIT YOUNGER, MORE FEARLESS THAN I AM NOW, A SARCASTIC PRICK THAT DIDNT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYONE BUT THE HERO HE MADE HIMSELF INTO...I THINK I MAY HAVE TO RETREAT BACK TO THAT PART OF ME.  ALL MY FUCKING GOOD WILL HAS GOTTEN ME NOTHING BUT GRIEF.  IVE APPLIED TO A TATTOOING JOB IN FRANCE, LONGSHOT AND COULD BE AN OLD AD, BUT THEYLL PAY FOR AIRFARE AND HELP WITH ACCOMODATION...IF THAT PANS OUT IT WOULD BE AMAZING AND SAD AT THE SAME TIME, ID HAVE TO SKIP INDIA, NEPAL AND ANYWHERE ELSE MY ABITITION WOULDVE TAKEN ME, BUT ITS FUCKING WEST I GUESS AND IF I MAKE IT TO FRANCE THE ORIGINAL GOAL IS STILL WITHIN SIGHT, ITD BE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO FAIL. ILL DIE BEFORE I HEAD HOME WHOOPED, IF IM STARVING AND BURNING ALIVE I WONT GIVE UP.  THE HARD TIMES ARE SETTING IN, MONEY IS EVIL AND I NEED TO BE THE DEVIL. I GOTTA REALLY PUT MY HUSTLE ON AND TAKE SOME FUCKERS MONEY. TOMORROW FEDE AND I TAKE A BUS TO THE CAMBODIAN BORDER TO HEAD FROM THERE TO SIEM REAP TO SEE ANGKOR WAT IN THE HEART OF THE CAMBODIAN FRONTIER, ITS KNOWN TO BE A DANGEROUS JOURNEY, MOST OF THE TIME WHEN I HEAR THAT, I ARRIVE TO WONDER WHAT PUSSY WROTE SUCH BULLSHIT, BUT WHO KNOWS, MAYBE THIS TIME ITLL GET HAIRY, I COULD USE A DOSE OF HEAVY HEART BEATING. I HAVENT DONE LAUNDRY IN A FEW WEEKS, AND SINCE IM ROTATING 4 TSHIRTS AND 1 PAIR OF SHORTS EVERYTHING STINKS, IS DIRTY AND A BIT DAMP BECAUSE I SWEAT EVERYTIME I HEAD OUTSIDE DURING THE DAY.  SINCE IM ON A STRICT BUDGET FROM HERE TO HO CHI MIN OF $40 US A DAY I MAY HAVE TO MAKE SOME SACRIFICES FOR A COUPLE DAYS IN ORDER TO AFFORD THE LUXURY OF CLEAN CLOTHES.  BANGKOK IS QUITE THE TOWN, I COULD DEF TRY AND WORK HERE AT SOME POINT FOR A WHILE, WHO KNOWS, MAYBE ILL HAVE TO COME BACK TO GET FLUSH AGAIN...IM STARTING TO THINK I MAY BE A LONG WAY AND A LONG TIME FROM HOME, I DONT REALLY CARE BUT THE LONGER IM AWAY FROM MY FOLKS THE MORE I THINK I MAY BE WASTING WHAT COULD BE THEIR LAST DAYS. PEOPLE TELL ME NOT TO THINK LIKE THAT, BUT ITS THE FUCKING TRUTH AND IVE NEVER BEEN IN DENIAL ABOUT DEATH, SOMETIMES I HATE THAT ABOUT ME.  TODAY WE WENT TO A COUPLE PRETTY AMAZING TEMPLES HERE IN TOWN, WAT ARUN AND WAT PHO, THE LATER HAS THE RECLINING BUDDHA, IT WAS FUCKING ENORMOUS, WAT ARUN HAD THIS REALLY TALL PAGODA AND AFTER A TREK UP THE TALLEST, STEEPEST, AND THINNEST STEPS IVE EVER BEEN UP WE GOT A GREAT VIEW OF DOWNTOWN AND THE RIVER BELOW, MADE THE DAY WORTH IT.  ILL TURN MY MOOD AROUND TOMORROW AFTER A GOOD REST, AFTER ALL THIS PARTY ISNT A PARTY WITH OUT YOURS TRUELY...

APRIL 24TH MMXI

IN BANGKOK NOW, SMOKING A CIG AND SITTING AT THE HOUSE COMPUTER AT THE MARCO POLO HOSTEL, SPENT THE LAST TWO NIGHTS SLEEPING DRUNK OFF MY ASS PACKED INTO A QUEEN SIZED BED WITH FEDE.  OUR HOSTEL, STRANGELY ENOUGH IS LOCATED LESS THAN 20 METERS FROM DIVINE INK, OWNED BY A FRIEND OF RAKS ON KHAOSAN ROAD THE "BACKPACKERS MECCA" AND IT IS JUST THAT, THERES MORE DREDLOCKED, TAN, JOBLESS, DIRTY KIDS HERE THAN ANYWHERE IVE EVER BEEN AND THEYRE ALL DRINKING AND BUYING RIDICULOUS SHIT THEY CANT FIT IN THEIR BAGS ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT, BY THE TIME THE SUN GOES DOWN THE LIGHTS COME ON AND IT FEELS A BIT LIKE THAI VEGAS.  THE DRINKS ARE CHEAP AND EVERY 10 METERS SOME LADY HOLLERS "MASSSAAA" LURING YOU IN TO BE PAMPERED AND EJACTULATED. BANGKOK IS HUGE AND TOTALLY DIFFERENT THAN ALL OF THE THAILAND I HAVE SEEN THUS FAR, I LIKE IT HERE, ITS LIKE SINGAPORE LACKING THE RULES, IT HAS AN OVERALL FEELING THAT ANYTHING GOES, ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN AT ANY MOMENT...I ENJOY THE CHAOS IT OFFERS ME.  YESTERDAY WAS PRETTY INTERESTING, WE WOKE UP LATE TO A JAPANESE COUPLE NEXT TO OUR PAPER THIN WALLED ROOM AND FROM WHAT I KNOW OF THE JAPANESE (FROM PORN) THEY MAY AS WELL BEEN HAVING SEX THE GIRL WAS HIGH PITCHED AND EVERYTHING WAS THERE EXCEPT HER HEAD BANGING AGAINST THE WALL, THEY WERE PROBABLY TALKING ABOUT WHAT TO HAVE FOR BREAKFAST FOR ALL I KNOW.  AFTER OUR STRANGE AWAKENING WE DECIDED LAST MINUTE TO HEAD THE WORLDS LARGEST SATURDAY MARKET THE CHATUCHAK MARKET ON THE FAR SIDE OF BANGKOK FROM US. THE BEST I CAN DESCRIBE, IT WAS LIKE A SMALL CITY OF MAZES THAT WENT ON FOREVER, OFFERING EVERYTHING YOU COULD POSSIBLY THINK OF FROM CROCODILE SKULLS TO TSHIRTS WITH EVERY THEME IMAGINABLE TO HAND CARVED BEADS, CARVED SHELLS KNIVES AND ANYTHING ELSE ONE COULD STICK A KNIFE INTO.  IT WAS A GREAT EXPERIENCE, BY ABOUT HALF WAY THROUGH IT GOT DARK AT ABOUT 2 IN THE AFTERNOON AND THE THUNDER CLAPPED A FEW TIMES BEFORE THE DOWNPOUR CAME AND EVERYONE DUCKED INSIDE.  WE WERE IN THE CORRUGATED STEEL COVERED MARKET FOR A COUPLE HOURS WHILE IT RAINED TILL THE SMALL WALKWAYS BETWEEN THE STALLS BECAME FLOODED WITH ANKLE DEEP WATER, IT WAS PRETTY CRAZY. MY GOAL WITH THE MARKET WAS TO SEE A COCKFIGHT, THE RAIN RUINED THAT AMBITION. AFTER THE MARKET WE TRIED TO HAIL A CAB FOR ABOUT AN HOUR OR MORE BEFORE FINALLY GETTING A TUK TUK BACK TO THE ROOM, WE ATE, SHOWERED, NAPPED AND HEADED BACK OUT TO OUR FAVORITE CHEAP BUCKET DRINK PLACE THAT "DOESNT CHECK ID CARD" ACCORDING TO THE SIGNS.  AFTER OUR FIRST BUCKET OF SANG SOM WHISKEY, COKE AND RED BULL, I WANTED TO START IT OFF RIGHT, WHEN I ORDERED THE FIRST ROUND OF TEQUILA SHOOTERS FEDES FACE LOOKED AT ME WITH A SOUR AND BLANK OH FUCK FACE...THAT FIRST ROUND TURNED INTO ABOUT 9, ENDING WITH ME TAKING A SHOT FROM SOME THICK, WELL BREASTED SOUTH AFRICAN BROADS TITS. OUR MISSION WAS CLEAR AFTER THE BUZZ HAD SET IN...IT WAS MORE OF A DRUNK AT THAT POINT BUT WHOS COUNTING: WE WERE OFF TO SEE THE PING PONG SHOW, BELIEVE IT OR NOT ON MY SISTERS RECOMMENDATION (MY INNOCENT LITTLE BABY SISTER, OR SO ID LIKE TO THINK) WE HOPPED IN A TUK TUK DRIVEN BY THE SECOND DRIVER IN A ROW NAMED TODO, WHO DROVE US INTO THE DARK PART OF DOWN TOWN TO SOME FUCKED DARK BACK ALLEY TO A POURLY LIT DOOR SURROUNDED BY ARABS.  TODO DRAGGED US THROUGH THE CROWD TO THE OLDER THAI FELLA THAT DEMANDED OUR 1000 BHAT EACH, FEDE WASNT HAPPY, I THINK HE WAS EXPECTING SOMETHING A LITTLE LESS UNDERGROUND...ME, ON THE OTHER HAND, WAS RIGHT WERE I WANTED TO BE, I BARTERED HIM DOWN TO 1200 FOR BOTH OF US AND WE WENT IN.  WITHIN 30 SECONDS OF SITTING DOWN WE BOTH HAD COCKTAILS AND FEDE WASNT SO PISSED ANYMORE.  NOW, BEING A KID THATS BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK A BIT, IVE SEEN A GIRL SMOKE A CIGARETTE WITH HER PUSSY BEFORE BUT THAT IN NO WAY PREPARED ME FOR WHAT I WAS ABOUT TO SEE. EACH ACT STARTED WITH G STRING BIKINI CLAD LADIES DANCING ON THE POLE UNENTHUSIASTICALLY, THEN THEY WOULD LAY DOWN ON THE STAGE TYING THEIR BOTTOMS AROUND ONE LEG TO PREFORM THEIR SPECIALTY, WHICH, ASTOUNDED ME EACH TIME.  IT STARTED SLOW, GIRLS SMOKING CIGS IN THEIR VAGINAS, NEXT A GIRL USING A BLOW DART GUN TO POP BALLOONS A FEW FEET AWAY AND THEN BLOW ABOUT 20 CANDLES OUT ON A BIRTHDAY CAKE (WHICH I CANT DO WITH MY LUNGS), THEN, A GIRL WHO PROCEEDED TO OPEN A BOTTLE OF SODA, POUR IT INSIDE HER, WALK AROUND THE STAGE A BIT, THEN FILL THE BOTTLE BACK UP. A COUPLE OF THE GIRLS WERE PULLING HUGE AMOUNTS OF RIBBON OUT AND WINDING IT AROUND THE 4 POLES ON THE STAGE AND THEN BACK AROUND THEM, THEN GIVING IT TO AN AUDIENCE MEMBER AND LETTING THEM PULL THE REST. THE SHOW ENDED WITH A FULLY NAKED SKINNY LITTLE THAI GIRL AND A BIG MUSCLE CLAD WHITE DUDE AND THEY STARTED FUCKING ONSTAGE. LIKE CIRQUE DU SOLIEL OF PORN, THEY WERE FUCKING IN EVERY POSITION I COULD IMAGINE, UTILIZING THE POLES AND GETTING UPSIDE DOWN, LIKE A GOOD PORN STAR WITH FULL AWARENESS OF THEIR BODY POSITION KEEPING JUST ENOUGH SPACE BETWEEN HIMSELF AND THE GIRL TO MAKE SURE THE CROWD COULD SEE MAXIMUM PENETRATION. WHEN WE LEFT I REMEMBER THINKING...THIS IS WHY IM ABROAD.  WE THEN WENT STRAIGHT TO THE SOAPY MASSAGE JOINT, A SHITHOLE, WHEN WE WALKED IN, AGAIN ARABS EVERYWHERE, THERE WERE ABOUT 15 THAI GIRLS SITTING IN THE FRONT ROOM ON DISPLAY TO CHOOSE FROM.  A MAN QUICKLY ZEROED IN ON ME AND STARTED NEGOTIATING WITH ME, HE STARTED WITH 3500 BHAT, GET FUCKED I TOLD HIM AND LAUGHED (I HAD LESS THAN 1500 BHAT TO MY NAME, NOTHING TO FALL BACK ON EITHER, I WAS DRUNK ENOUGH TO WANT TO SPEND IT ON A BLOW JOB) I GOT HIM DOWN TO 2000, I DIDNT WANNA FUCK I KEPT SAYING, I JUST WANT A FUCKING BLOWJOB! FEDE HATED IT THERE AND HIS INSISTENCE FINALLY PREVAILED AND WE HEADED HOME, IT WAS ABOUT 4AM AND MY HEAD WAS SPINNING LIKE A HYPNO-WHEEL THE WHOLE FUCKING WAY HOME; MY FAULT FOR CHOOSING NOT TO EAT IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE MAXIMUM DRUNK.  TODAY, FEDE LEFT FOR THAI WAKE PARK FOR THE FINALS AND THE BIG PARTY TONIGHT, SO IM HERE IN BANGKOK ALONE, ABOUT TO HEAD OVER THE DIVINE INK FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.  IVE GOT ABOUT 1200 BHAT LEFT, THERES NO SECRET MONEY LEFT, IVE GOT TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT QUICK, FOR THE FIRST TIME ILL PROBABLY HAVE TO BORROW SOME MONEY EITHER THAT OR LEAVE FEDE AND FIND A JOB IN BANGKOK FOR A FEW WEEKS, ID BE BUMMED TO BAIL ON CAMBODIA AND VIETNAM BUT WE WILL SEE.  TODAYS EASTER, TUESDAY WE ARE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE FOR CAMBODIA, FROM WHAT IVE READ, ONCE YOU GET TO THE CAMBODIAN BORDER ITS ALL THIEVES AND COWBOYS WITH MACHINE GUNS, THEY MAKE IT SOUND PRETTY SCARY...I CANT FUCKING WAIT.

APRIL 20TH MMXI

IM IN CHIANG RAI RIGHT NOW, LISTENING TO BRIGHT EYES, GETTING EATEN ALIVE BY MOSQUITOS AND WATCHING THIS GECKO STALK FLYS ON THE INTERNET 20 BHAT PER HOUR SIGN UNDER THE FLOURESCENT LIGHT.  THIS PLACE IS QUITE THE SLOW PACE COMPARED TO CHIANG MAI, WITH A LACK OF PRETTY EUROPEAN BACKPACKING BEAUTIES, FEDE AND I HAVE BEEN TURNING IN EARLY TO GET OUT TO SEE THE SIGHTS.  TODAY WE WENT TO THE GOLDEN TRIANGLE, AND I WAS A BIT DISAPOINTED TO NOT SEE A SINGLE POPPIE, OR SMOKE OPIUM FOR THAT MATTER.  WE DID GET OVER TO LAOS AND TOOK SHOTS OF THE COBRA SNAKE WHISKEY, LITERALLY WHISKEY IN A BOTTLE WITH THE CARCASS OF A COBRA INSIDE, WE BOTH PASSED WHEN THEY OFFERED US THE SAME WITH A GIANT TIGER PENIS ROTTING IN THE SAME.  WE ALSO GOT OFF TO SEE THE HILL TRIBES, THE LONG NECK AND A COUPLE OTHERS THAT HAVE COME HERE AS REFUGEES FROM BURMA OR CHINA, IT WAS COOL, A MUCH SIMPLER LIFE, I ENVY THEM IN A WAY.  THE FACT THAT ILL BE ALONE AFTER FEDERICO LEAVES IS REALLY SETTING IN, IM A BIT FREAKED OUT THAT ILL BE LOSING MY TRAVELING PARTNER, BUT I GUESS THATS HOW ILL GROW.  STILL IT MAKES ME THINK OF THE PEOPLE I MISS AND THE GIRL THAT COULD BE OR WONT BE NOW THAT IM GONE, ALMOST FEELS LIKE SADNESS.  TOMORROW WE LEAVE TO TAKE THE BUS TO CHIANG MAI TO CATCH THE OVERNIGHT TRAIN TO BANGKOK.  IVE DECIDED TO SKIP THE THAI WAKE PARK PARTY THAT EVERYONE IS GOING TO, MORE TO CHECK OUT THE TATTOO SHOP THAT RAK RECOMMENDED THAN TO AVOID THE WAKEBOARD SCENE THAT I JUST DONT LOVE ANYMORE.  MY GOALS IN BANGKOK ARE TO CATCH A COCKFIGHT AND SMOKE SOME OPIUM...WE WILL SEE.  IVE GOT ABOUT 257 USD LEFT TO MAKE IT FROM HERE TO HO CHI MIN CITY IN VIETNAM. NOT GONNA WORK...WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.  I DO KNOW THAT MAY WILL BE MY MONTH BECAUSE I CHOOSE IT TO BE, SO ILL MAKE THE MONEY I NEED AND HEAD TO INDIA I HOPE, MY DESTINATION HAS YET TO BE DETERMINED, IT STRESSES ME OUT BUT MAKES ME HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME.  OFF TO BANGKOK TO SEE WHAT THE BIG THAI CITY HAS TO SHAKE SHIT UP.

APRIL 16TH MMXI

TODAY WAS MY DAY OF RENEWAL.  IM AT THE END OF MY DAY AND I FEEL LIKE A BRAND NEW PERSON, TOTALLY REVIVED FROM WHATEVER I WAS YESTERDAY, I CANT REALLY EXPLAIN HOW AMAZING I FEEL, AFTER A RUN AT SOME MORE TEMPLES, A THAI FOOT MASSAGE AND SOME REALLY EPIC BLACK CURRY TO TOP OF THE ALREADY INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCES I HAD EARLIER IN THE DAY, I FEEL LIKE 2.0, LIKE I ONLY HAVE ONCE BEFORE, THAT LEGENDARY YORKATRONIC STAGE THAT SCARES EVEN ME!  SO YESTERDAY WE WERE BOOKED TO GO TO THE TIGER KINGDOM TO PLAY WITH THE BIG KITTIES, OUR DRIVER SAID IT WAS TOO CRAZY WITH SONGKRAN AND ADVISED US TO WAIT TILL TOMORROW (TODAY), BECAUSE OF THE EXTRA TIME ON MY HANDS AT THE HOSTEL (LESS THAN $4 USD PER NIGHT), I WAS ABLE TO DO A BUNCH OF RESEARCH ON SAK YANT AND THE MASTER MONK TATTOOERS UP HERE, I FOUND ONE THAT I LIKED, A YOUNG MONK, OUT IN THE STICKS, A STARK CONTRAST OF THE MONKS IN BANGKOK THAT ARE RIDING ON THE FAME OF THE SAK YANT BECAUSE OF ANGELINA JOLIE. HE TATTOOS ALL OF THE MONKS UP HERE IN CHIANG MAI AND IS RENOWNED FOR HOW POWERFUL THE MAGIC IS THAT HE PUTS INTO HIS TATTOOS, IT WAS REALLY HARD TO FIND HIM AND EVERYONE I ASKED HAD NEVER EVEN HEARD OF THE WAT MAE TAO HAI TEMPLE LET ALONE HEARD OF TU EAK THE MONK...LITTLE DISCOURAGING BUT I FIGURED ID ASK OUR DRIVER THE NEXT DAY ON OUR WAY TO THE TIGER KINGDOM, NOW HAD I HAVE GONE TO TIGER KINGDOM THE DAY BEFORE THE FOLLOWING WOULDNT HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE AND I AM COMPLETELY REASSURED THAT I AM ON THE CORRECT PATH.  WE ARRIVED AT TIGER KINGDOM WITH A LITTLE BIT OF APPREHESION, CAGED TIGERS?? THAT THOUGHT WAS IMMEDIATELY SMASHED TO SMITHERINES WHEN FEDE AND I WERE LAYING ON THE GROUND PLAYING WITH THESE 5 MONTH OLD TIGERS AND SMILING SO BIG OUR FACES HURT, IT WAS NOTHING SHORT OF AMAZING.  WE THEN GOT TO GO CUDDLE THE BIG 2 YEAR OLD CATS, ONE MALE ONE FEMALE AND THEIR PAWS WERE BIGGER THAN MY HANDS AND AT ANY MOMENT I COULDVE BEEN MEOW MIX!!! IT WAS AWESOME, I HAD MY EAR OVER THE HEART OF THIS GIANT CAT AND COULD HEAR ITS HEART BEAT, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.  WHEN WE WERE FINISHED PLAYING WITH THE GIANT KITTIES, WE WENT OUTSIDE AND OUR DRIVER SAID HE FOUND THE NUMBER FOR THE MONASTARY AND NO ONE ANSWERED, HE SAID "LETS JUST GO THERE!" FEDE AND I NODDED AND JUMPED IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK AND BEGAN A LONG RIDE THROUGH THE THAILAND OUTSKIRTS OF CHIANG MAI.  IT WAS BEAUTIFUL WITH RICE FIELDS AND LOTUS PONDS ON THE SIDES OF THE ROAD, WITH THE OCCASIONAL SONGKRAN MOB WAITING TO DRENCH FEDE AND ME IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK...APPRENTLY THEY STILL CELEBRATE SONGKRAN IN THE SUBURBS TILL THE 19TH, THEY DIDNT GET OUR PHONES THOUGH, SO ALLS GOOD.  WE TOOK A BACK ROAD THROUGH SOME SMALL SHACKS AND HOUSES AND ENDED UP IN THE MIDDLE OF WHAT SEEMED LIKE NO WHERE TO THIS LARGE, INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL TEMPLE, IT SEEMED LIKE A GHOST TOWN WHEN WE ENTERED UNTIL WE SAW A YOUNG THAI GIRL SMILING IN A DOOR WAY AND AS WE APPROACHED WE SAW THE MAN, TU EAK TATTOOING AWAY WITH A BAMBOO STICK AND MY BLOOD STARTED TO RACE, I WAS HALF CONCERNED HE WOULDNT TATTOO ME BECAUSE I WAS A WESTERNER, BUT AFTER SOME TRANSLATING, I WAS HANDED A BOOK OF SAK YANT DESIGNS AND TOLD I COULD BE TATTOOED IN ABOUT AN HOUR, ELATED, I ASKED OUR DRIVER IF WE COULD GO FIND SOME FOOD AND RETURN, WHEN WE DID, TU EAK DID A BUDDAHS LOTUS ON THE TOP OF MY HAND, SUPPOSED TO BRING THE WEARER SUCCESS IN LIFE AND BUSINESS, AT THE END OF THE TATTOO HE HELD MY HAND ROCKING BACK AND FORTH PRAYING AND BLOWING THE MAGIC PROTECTIONS INTO MY TATTOO. I WAS TOTALLY INTO IT, IN A BIT OF A TRANCE AND BREATHING WITH HIM AS HE PRAYED, IT WAS LIKE ALL THE LIGHTS WENT OUT ON EARTH AND WHEN HE FINISHED PRAYING A GOLDEN GLOW RELIT THE WORLD FOR ME. THE MONKS BELIEVE THAT DISEASES CANNOT GROW INSIDE THE TEMPLE SO THE NEEDLE THAT WAS USED ON THE PERSON BEFORE ME WAS ALSO USED ON ME AFTER A VERY SHORT RINSE IN ALCOHOL, FOR SOME REASON I WASNT CONCERNED AT ALL WHICH I THOUGHT WAS STRANGE, TU EAK ALSO SAID HE WAS EXCITED TO DO THE LOTUS, THAT ITS VERY UNCOMMON AND IT WAS LIKE A PRESENT FOR HIM! WHEN I LEFT AND UNTIL NOW, IVE FELT COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, COMPLETELY CONTENT, COMPLETELY IN AWE OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY.  THE BEST PART OF THIS TATTOO FOR ME (OTHER THAN BEING MAGIC) IS THAT IT IS ON THE TOP OF MY RIGHT HAND, THE BUDDHIST CONTRAST TO THE ROSARY CROSS ON MY RIGHT.  WHAT A PERFECT PARADOX, JUST MY STYLE! ILL HAVE A FULL VIDEO OF THE ENTIRE PROCESS FOR YOU GUYS TO PEEP ONCE I GET BACK TO SINGAPORE TO DO SOME EDITING, THAT IS IF I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO PURGE MY VIDEO MEMORY ON THE IPHONE, ITS NEARLY FULL AND IM LESS THAN HALF WAY THROUGH THIS TRIP!!! OH MAN, THAILAND ONCE AGAIN IS PROVING TO BE STEEPED IN MYSTERY AND AWE, IM A LUCKY MAN TO LIVE WHILE I DO.

SONGKRAN IS OVER, SOWA DI PI MAI, THATS NOT HOW YOU SPELL IT BUT HAPPY THAI NEW YEAR ANYWAY.

APRIL 14TH MMXI

TODAY IS MY LAST DAY AT SIAM INK AND IN PATONG BEACH...IVE HAD THE GREATEST TIME AND MET THE MOST INCREDIBLE PEOPLE.  DANA, ONG AND RAK AND ALL THEIR FRIENDS REALLY WELCOMED ME INTO THEIR HOME AND TATTOO SHOP AND THIS CITY WITH OPEN ARMS AND TREATED ME LIKE FAMILY.  FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS WEVE WORKED, EATEN, PARTIED AND PLAYED TOGETHER...ITS REALLY HARD FOR ME TO LEAVE ESPECIALLY WITH HOW MUCH IVE LEARNED ABOUT TATTOOING AND THAI CULTURE IT MAKES ME THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH MORE I COULD LEARN IN THIS PLACE.  IN SHORT I WILL DEFINATELY BEING HEADED BACK HERE TO VISIT UNTIL THEY KICK ME THE FUCK OUT! TODAY I WOKE UP WITH A CRACK IN MY HEAD FROM DRINKING JACK AND JAGER BOMBS AND RED WINE AND BEER AND JACK AGAIN AND TEQUILA AND...THATS ALL I CAN REMEMBER, I ENDED UP IN SOME NICE HOTEL IN SOME WEIRD PART OF TOWN AT NOON NEXT TO SOME CRAZY NAKED THAI GIRL WHO MUST HAVE PAID FOR FUCKING EVERYTHING, I WOKE UP GOING FUCK WHERE THE FUCK AM I, AND WHEN I ROLLED OVER I JUST STARTED LAUGHING, THREW MY CLOTHES ON AND WALKED BACK TO THE SHOP WITH NOT A CIG OR A BAHT ON ME, SHORTS STILL WET FROM SONGKRAN, GOD DAMN! ANYWAY IT FUCKIN HURTS STILL...LUCKILY AT 1 I WAS STILL DRUNK ENOUGH TO GET BAMBOO TATTOOED BY ONG, IM THE ONLY WHITE FUCKER IN THE WORLD WITH AN ONG BAMBOO TATTOO.  FUCKING HELL IM AWESOME. IT WAS REALLY FUN! YESTERDAY WAS ALL FUCKING TALCUM POWDER AND WATER PISTOLS, ALL GOD DAMN DAY AND ALL GOD DAMN NIGHT I WAS SOAKED HEAD TO TOE AND ONLY STOPPED LONG ENOUGH TO TATTOO THIS TRADITIONAL EAGLE ON THIS AUSSIE.  YESTERDAY WAS THE MOST FUN IVE HAD SINCE I WAS A KID, MY CHEEKS HURT FROM SMILING ALL DAY AND I THINK I LAUGHED SO MUCH THAT SOMETIMES I FORGOT TO BREATHE. EAGLE TURNED OUT REALLY GOOD, IM SUPER HAPPY WITH IT, BEST TATTOO IVE DONE IN ASIA BY MILES.  GUY WAS REALLY EXCITED, HIS SON LIKED IT SO MUCH HE IS GONNA GET THE SAME ONE, SHAME I WONT BE HERE TO DO IT BUT I GAVE HIM THE DRAWING ANYWAY, THEY WERE REALLY STOKED.  AT 5 TODAY FEDE AND I ARE HEADED TO CHIANG MAI TO EAT UP SOME MORE THAI CULTURE, LUCKILY AFTER MY TATTOO AND THE 3500 I GOT ON THE SPLIT, MY ROOM WASHED OUT AND I STILL HAVE SOME MONEY! (ONLY BY WAY OF AN AMAZING ACT OF KINDNESS FROM DANA AND ONG, LETTING ME GET AWAY WITH MURDER ON MY ROOM RATE) ONCE IM HOME I THINK ILL SEND THEM SOMETHING CRAZY...ITS ALL HOSTILES AND TRAINS AND CULTURE FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, CANT WAIT TO SEE WHATS GONNA HAPPEN! STILL STOKED ABOUT MY SAK YANT, CANT WAIT TO GET YOU GUYS THE FOOTY OF ALL THIS MADNESS OUT HERE. OFF WE GO, THE RACE TO HO CHI MIN IS ABOUT TO GET STEPPED THE FUCK UP.

MUSTARD GAS N PRETZELS MY NIGGAZ...

APRIL 12TH MMXI

IVE BEEN IN PATONG BEACH PHUKET FOR NEARLY TWO WEEKS, IM IN LOVE WITH THAILAND...ANYTHING GOES IN THIS PLACE...REALLY.  LAST NIGHT I SLEPT WITH THE FIRST WHITE GIRL IN THE 4 MONTHS IVE BEEN IN ASIA.  IT WAS NICE-SHE WAS A CRAZY LITHUANIAN GIRL THAT REALLY WAS CRAZY...SHE WAS POUNDING ON OUR ROOM DOOR AT LIKE 6 THIS MORNING, I HAD BEEN CRASHED OUT ON THE COUCH FOR 20 MINUTES OR SO AND WOKE UP TO THIS SOAKING WET (SONGKRAN) EASTERN GIRL...SHE LOOKED GOOD! AND I ESPECIALLY LIKED THE ROMANCE OF THE BEATLES SONG "BACK IN THE USSR" PLAYING IN MY HEAD WHILE I WAS KISSING HER FAKE LIPS...I THINK I LIKE FAKE LIPS WAY BETTER THAN TITS, THAT WAS A STATEMENT FOR ME. SINCE IVE BEEN HERE IVE HAD THE FIRST HAPPILY ENDED MASSAGES IN MY LIFE, A FEW DONE BY THESE GORGEOUS FULLY NAKED THAI GIRLS, AND HAPPY ENDING HERE MEANS HAND JOB OR BLOW JOB, I USUALLY OPT FOR THE LATER...THIS PLACE COULD BE BAD FOR MY HEALTH! TOO MUCH FUN CAUSES CANCER! BUT ITS NOT A QUESTION IF ONE CAN REACH HIS END SUCCESSFULLY, BUT HOW FUCKING FAST YOU CAN GET THERE...THATS WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A ROCK N ROLLER, AND ILL BE GOD DAMNED IF IM NOT WRITING THE BOOK.  WE DRINK EVERY NIGHT, MY SIAM INK FAMILY IS NOTHING SHORT OF AMAZING, WE ALL GO OUT AND GET WRECKED THEN SPEND MOST OF THE FOLLOWING DAY TALKING ABOUT ALL THE RIDICULOUS SHIT WE DID...LIFE IS FUCKING GOOD.  ON THE TENTH I MET FEDE IN KO PHI PHI, I TOOK THE FERRY THERE AND WE STAYED FOR THE NIGHT, GOT FUCKED UP ON 60 BHAT ($2USD) VODKA REDBULLS, I DIDNT SLEEP FOR SHIT SHARING A KING SIZE BED IN A TINY LITTLE ROOM WITH NO AC...WE GOT UP THE NEXT MORNING FOR A BOAT TOUR OF THE PHI PHI ISLANDS...FUCKING AMAZING.  I SAY FUCKING AMAZING QUITE A LOT IN THIS BLOG, ILL HAVE TO GET A BIT MORE CREATIVE AYE? IN KO PHI PHI FEDE WAS TALKING ABOUT HIS SOON TO COME HOMECOMING AND I GOT A BIT JEALOUS KNOWING HOW FAR I HAVE LEFT TO TRAVEL, THATS THE FIRST BOUT OF REMOTE HOMESICKNESS IVE HAD I BELIEVE.  PHI PHI WAS BRILLIANT, THERE ARE NO CARS ON THE ISLAND, THE COCKTAILS ARE CHEAP AND THERE ARE FOXY EUROPEANS SWARMING ALL OVER.  ON OUR BOAT TOUR WE WENT SNORKLING AND GOT TO GO TO MAYA BAY (WHERE THEY FILMED THE BEACH) AND WE ALSO WENT TO A BEACH CALLED MONKEY BEACH...WITH MONKEY FAMILIES HANGING OUT ON THE BEACH AND TOURISTS FEEDING THEM...I GOT A SHOT OF A MONKEY DRINKING A SODA...NOT COOL, BUT HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN SAY THEYVE SEEN A WILD MONKEY DRINKING A SODA A FEW FEET FROM THEM? NOW I CAN! LOL ON THE ENTIRE TOUR FEDE AND I WERE SWIMMING AND ACTING LIKE LITTLE KIDS, IT WAS GREAT, AFTER SWIMMING NEARLY ALL DAY IN THE BATH WATER THEY CALL THE OCEAN FEDE AND I KEPT SAYING: SOAK IT UP NOW, THE NEXT FEW WEEKS IS ALL JUNGLE! FUCK MAN ITS GONNA BE HOT!, LIKE I DONT SWEAT THROUGH 3 T-SHIRTS A DAY ALREADY! AFTER WE GOT HOME I TATTOOED THE LITHUANIAN GIRL AND WE ALL STARTED DRINKING...SONGKRAN (THE THAI NEW YEAR, AND MY 3RD NEW YEAR CELEBRATION IN 2011, NEW YEARS IN THE STATES, CHINESE NEW YEAR AND NOW SONGKRAN!) STARTED TODAY, THE STREETS ARE FILLED WITH DRUNK CRAZY PEOPLE WITH SUPER SOAKERS AND YOU LITTERALLY CANT GO OUTSIDE WITHOUT GETTING SOAKED...ITS FUCKING AWESOME! IT LASTS 3 DAYS AND I HAVE A FUNNY FEELING THAT TONIGHT AND THE REST OF THIS WEEK ITS GONNA GET INSANE! I MEAN, WAY MORE THAN NORMAL...LOL THE BOYS AND I HAVE BEEN GAUKING AT THE GIRLY BOY FROM BRAZIL THATS NEXT DOOR...ITS FREAKY, MY MIND KNOWS ITS A BOY BUT HOLY CHRIST...THAT BITCH IS SMOKING HOT, IM AIMING TO GET MY PHOTO WITH HER SO I CAN FREAK MY FRIENDS OUT...THEYLL NEVER GET IT UNLESS THEY SEE ONE LIKE THIS ONE. THE TENTH MARKED 30 DAYS LEFT ON THIS NORTHERN ADVENTURE, MY MONEY IS LEAKING FROM MY WALLET AND I THINK ILL PROBABLY HAVE TO TAP INTO THE LAST $500 I HAVE AT HOME THAT I SAVED TO LEAVE SINGAPORE JUST TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE REST OF THE RACE TO HO CHI MIN. IVE BEEN DOING A BIT OF HOMEWORK ON BUDDHISM, ITS AN AMAZING RELIGION, I CANT WAIT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT IT FROM THE TEMPLES AND PEOPLE UP NORTH. GOOD NEWS IS THAT TOMORROW IVE GOT AN APPOINTMENT TO DO A TRADITIONAL EAGLE ON THIS OLDER GUY...IM REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT, NOT JUST FOR THE TATTOO BUT THE 3000 BHAT IM GONNA POCKET FROM IT.  IM GONNA BE BUMMED TO LEAVE SIAM INK, IM REALLY AT HOME HERE AND JUST GETTING THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE AROUND TATTOOING AND ACTUALLY WORK IS MAKING ME HAPPY.  IN THE BACK OF MY MIND IM A BIT CONCERNED ABOUT WHERE THE FUCK ILL GO AFTER SINGAPORE, I DONT WANNA STAY THERE TOO LONG, I WANNA KEEP MOVING...A MID EASTERN FORTUNE TELLER TOLD ME THAT MAY IS GONNA BE MY BEST MONTH THIS YEAR, IM GONNA HOLD HIM TO THAT. MY KNEES AND RIGHT WRIST ARE ALL FUCKED UP AND STIFF FROM GETTING RUN OVER THE OTHER DAY, BUT ALL MY FUCKING ROAD RASH IS STARTING TO GO AWAY FINALLY, FUNNY THING IS THAT THE BIGGEST AND NASTIEST BIT OF ROAD RASH WAS ON MY LEFT WRIST RIGHT OVER THE O AND M IN TACOMA...I KIND FEEL LIKE ITS AN OMEN...MAYBE ILL NEVER MAKE IT HOME...RIGHT NOW THAT DOESNT REALLY BOTHER ME.  ALRIGHT GUYS, THANKS FOR READING, IM OFF TO HAVE A FEW COCKTAILS, GET A SUPER SOAKER AND START THE YORKATRONIC SONGKRAN REVOLUTIONARY MILITIA OF WATER WARRIORS (THE YSRMWW FOR THOSE WHO HAVENT HEARD)

LET GO OF WHAT YOU HAVE & KNOW, NOTHING WILL SERVE YOU BETTER IN LIFE.

IM LEARNING THAT THE MORE I LET GO, THE BETTER EVERYTHING GETS EVERYDAY.

APRIL 5TH MMXI

THE LAST 24 HOURS IN PATONG BEACH:  LAST NIGHT WE STARTED DRINKING PRETTY EARLY, ALL OF US WENT OUT TO SOME BIKER BAR ON THE OUTSKIRTS, RAK, HIS BEST MATE AND MYSELF BAILED SHORTLY AFTER AND HIT THE GIAGANTIC POOL JOINT, HOUSING AT LEAST 70 TABLES AND LADIES EVERYWHERE...FOR SALE...I ENDED UP WINNING MY FIRST GAME IN POOL SINCE IVE BEEN IN ASIA.  FINALLY...THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING SHARKS! SO I GUESS THAT MAKES THE SCORE YORKATRON 1-ASIA 38.  IM MAKING A COMEBACK! I GOTTA SAY, I REALLY LOVE THE THAI PEOPLE, THEYRE SO POLITE AND SMILE ALOT, ITS REALLY REFRESHING, EVERYONE ALWAYS PUTS THEIR HANDS TOGETHER LIKE IN PRAYER AND SMILES BIG AND LOOKS YOU IN THE EYE. AFTER THE POOL JOINT WE WENT ACROSS THE STREET TO A TINY LITTLE GRASS HUT BAR OFF SAN SAIBAI ROAD AND WE WERE TALKING CRAZY TO ALL THE LADIES, I HAD MY EYE ON ONE AND WAS FLIRTING AND WHEN SHE WANTED TO COME BACK WITH ME TO THE ROOM RAK QUICKLY TOLD HER NO...LADY BOY HE SAYS...FUCKING HELL.  SO I PRECEDED TO PICK OUT THE NEXT 3 HOT GIRLS I SAW...ALL LADY BOYS, WE WERE ALL HAVING A GOOD LAUGH.  AFTER THAT I GAVE UP ON MY ABILITY TO PICK A REAL LADY OUT OF A CROWD (AT LEAST FROM A DISTANCE) FINALLY I ASKED RAK TO PICK ONE OUT FOR ME THAT WAS AN ACTUAL GIRL...HE DID AND I ENDED UP MEETING THIS TALL THAI WITH BRACES...ODDLY ENOUGH I REMEMBERED WORKING AT THE FAIR BACK HOME AT THE NOELS RESTURANT BOOTH AND LESLIE DUKES COMIN TO TALK TO ME...I HAD QUITE THE CRUSH ON THAT ONE WAY BACK WHEN...ANYWAY SHE HAD BRACES AND MY BOSS STEVE SAID: "BOBBY, (HE CALLED ME BOBBY VEGAS, THUS THE 3RD PERSONALITY OF YORKATRON) YOU DOWN WITH THE PENIS SHREDDER!??" LOL...STUPID STORY.  ANYWAY, I ENDED UP GETTING HOME WITH HER AROUND 630AM.  I AWOKE AT 2PM TODAY AND STUMBLED DOWN TO THE SHOP.  AFTER FUCKING OFF, AND DOING RESEARCH FOR MY SAK YANT AND OTHER WEIRD SHIT TO DO IN CHIANG MAI TILL ABOUT 545 I REALIZED I MIGHT BE HUNGRY, SO I WENT OUT TO MY FAVORITE SPOT TO EAT, THE YO YO RESTURANT.  I SAT FOR A MINUTE AND WATCHED THE TRUCKS AND SCOOTERS WHIZ BY TILL I FOUND MY SPOT TO CROSS THE ONE WAY STREET.  THERE WAS A SCOOTER PRETTY FAR OFF IN THE DISTANCE ON THE NEAR SIDE OF THE STREET, I QUICKLY SHUFFLED IN MY SANDLES TO A SAFE DISTANCE AND WAS OUT OF HER WAY, THEN, WHEN I LOOKED AGAIN THE SAME SCOOTER WAS ON THE FAR SIDE OF THE STREET AND ABOUT A NANO-SECOND FROM HITTING ME, SO IT DID...I HAD NO CHANCE TO THINK, I REMEMBER LOOKING DOWN AT THE TOP OF THE GIRLS HEAD BEFORE HITTING THE GROUND, I DID A FULL FLIP OVER THE BIKE AND LANDED ABOUT 25 FEET FROM WHERE WE FIRST MADE CONTACT AND SLID A FEW MORE ON THE BACK OF MY HEAD! FUCKING HELL, I IMMEDIATELY GOT UP, GRABBED THE YOUNG EUROPEAN GIRL (SEXY AS ALL HELL TOO) OUT OF THE STREET AND WHEELED HER BIKE OUT FROM HARMS WAY.  EVERYONE WAS STANDING THERE GAUKING AND LOOKING AT ME LIKE I WAS A FUCKING FREAK FOR EVEN WALKING...ALL THE GIRL COULD SAY WAS "WHAT THE FUCK! I WAS GOING LIKE 50 MAN!" LOL, GUESS IM TOO STUBBORN TO GET HURT.  IM SURE TOMORROW WHEN MY MUSCLES ALL SIEZE UP WITH RIGOR ILL HAVE A DIFFERENT STORY! ONCE I GATHERED MY THOUGHTS I REALIZED MY HEAD HURT, MY HANDS AND FEET TOO, LOOKING AROUND I REALIZED I ONLY HAD ONE SANDLE AND I HAD BLOOD AND DIRT ON MY HANDS AND ARMS, I SPOTED MY SANDLE AND WENT TO GET IT, NEXT TO IT WAS A HUGE CLUMP OF MY HAIR, LIKE THE KIND YOUD SEE AFTER A GIRL FIGHT, MUST'VE BEEN FROM WHEN I WAS SLIDING ON THE BACK OF MY HEAD, I FELT THE BACK OF MY HEAD AT THAT POINT AND ALREADY FELT A HUGE GOOSE EGG COMING ON, THERE WAS BLOOD ON MY HANDS FROM MY HEAD...SOME GERMAN DUDE KEPT SAYING, PLEASE GO TO THE HOSPITAL...I WAS THINKING, MAN! I JUST WANTED SOME FUCKING THAI FRIED RICE!!! ANYWAY, THE GIRL WAS NEARLY IN TEARS AND CUTE SO OF COURSE I SAID, AS LONG AS YOURE OK DARLING, GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE YOU GET INTO ANY TROUBLE WITH THE COPS.  SHE LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS CRAZY AND ASKED IF I WAS SURE...GO ON I TOLD HER WITH A SMILE.  I THEN RELUCTANTLY CROSSED BACK ACROSS THE STREET AND BACK TO THE SHOP.  WE ALL LAUGHED AND DANA GOT OUT THE ALCOHOL AND STARTED CLEANING MY WOUNDS, (WORST PART) WHAT A DOLL. SHE THEN WENT NEXT DOOR AND GOT ME MY PLATE OF FRIED RICE, GOOD LORD IM LUCKY.  SO NOW, HERE I AM, IN THE SHOP WRITING THIS BLOG LISTENING TO MY NOW SUPER SMASHED UP IPOD, THE INDESTRUCTABLE ONE IVE HAD SINCE THEY FIRST HAD THE BLACK ONES, I THINK ITS A SECOND GEN...ITS A SAD DAY FRIENDS, AFTER AT LEAST 6 DIFFERENT ELECTRONIC OPERATIONS, SOME INCLUDING BUBBLE GUM TO KEEP THE RIBBONS IN PLACE INSIDE, AND NOWGETTING SMASHED BY THE HOT EUROPEAN BROAD ON A FUCKING SCOOTER-THE OLE GIRL WORKS, BUT I CANT TELL WHAT IM SELECTING ANYMORE, SO IM STUCK WITH NIRVANA TILL I FUCK IT UP,...I FEEL LIKE THE WHOLE GETTING FUCKING SMASHED BY THAT SCOOTER WAS ALL SO I WILL LEARN SOME FREAKY LIFE LESSON THROUGH NIRVANA IN THAILAND...ANYWAY, IM ANXIOUS TO START IT ALL OVER AGAIN TONIGHT. 

PHENOBARBITAL N VODKA YALL...

APRIL 3RD MMXI

PHUKET...(WELL PATONG RATHER) THAILAND IS A GREAT TOWN, ITS VERY DIFFERENT FROM THE PLACES IVE BEEN.  THE ARCHITECTURE IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM ANYWHERE IVE BEEN, THE PLACE IS ALIVE FROM NOON TILL 8 AM EVERYDAY...I LOVE IT! THE SHOP IM WORKING AT IS CALLED SIAM INK, MY HOSTS DANA, ONG AND RAK ARE GREAT PEOPLE AND IM REALLY GETTING ALONG WITH THEM PERFECTLY! AFTER THE FIRST 2 NIGHTS IN A HOTEL A BLOCK OR TWO DOWN IM STAYING ABOVE THE SHOP IN THEIR RECENTLY TAKEN OVER GUEST ROOMS, MY ROOM IS HUGE WITH A PANORAMIC VIEW OF THE STREET BELOW, AND ILL BE PAYING PROBABLY HALF OF THE 800 BAHT I WAS PAYING DOWN THE STREET WHICH IS BEST CASE SCENARIO.  MY LUCK IS AMAZING...TO TOP IT OFF RAK AND ONG ARE FUCKING WICKED GOOD AT TATTOOING, THEIR BLACK N GRAY AND COLOR WORK IS NOTHING BUT EPIC! IM TRYING TO LEARN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.  IVE GOTTEN A MASSAGE EVERYDAY FOR ABOUT $12 US, THE RED BULL COSTS .50 CENTS AND THE FOOD IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE! LIFE IS GOOD! THERE ARE AUSSIES AND RUSSIANS AND ALL KINDS OF LOVELY PALE SKIN BEAUTIES ALL OVER, NOT TO MENTION THE WORKING THAI GIRLS AND MY LOVELY LOVELIES THAT TELL ME THEY LIKE ME AND WANNA GIVE ME A MASSAGE...OH DOCTOR! BEEN GOOD TILL TONIGHT, WE ARE ALL GOING OUT DRINKING AND I HAVE A FEELING THESE GUYS MAY TEACH ME A THING OR TWO, THEY DONT GET IN TILL 6AM AND RAK HAS BEEN HUNGOVER EVERYDAY.  I WAS STOKED THAT I WAS INCLUDED WITH THE SHOP RITUAL LAST NIGHT, AFTER RAK FINISHED I WAS INVITED FOR SHASHIMI, RAW TUNA WITH WASABI, IVE NEVER HAD IT SO I DOVE RIGHT IN AND KINDA THINK THAT THE SHASHIMI MAY BE THEIR SECRET TO BEING GREAT TATTOOERS.  ONG DIDNT JOIN US, RAK FINISHED AT MIDNIGHT AND I LEFT AT 2AM, ONG TATTOOED TILL 5 AM ON THIS FUCKING HUGE BOB MARLEY PORTRAIT-PROBABLY THE BEST BOB IVE EVER FUCKING SEEN, COULD BLESS ANY MAGAZINE IN THE WORLD.  I FEEL REALLY REALLY FUCKING LUCKY HERE, DID I SAY THAT? I GOTTA MAKE SURE I DO SOMETHING AWESOME FOR JAP WHEN IM BACK IN SINGAPORE FOR THE HOOK UP.  I REALLY WISH I COULD STAY HERE AND MAKE SOME FUCKING MONEY, THE WHITE FOLKS COME IN THE SHOP AND ARE STOKED TO TALK TO A NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKING TATTOOER...IVE GOT AN EDGE! I JUST NEED MORE MOTHER FUCKERS TO WALK IN! THE RAIN IS GOING AWAY AND THE FLOODING UP NORTH THAILAND IS CALMING DOWN APPARENTLY SO MY HOPES ARE HIGH.  ALL AROUND MY SPIRIT IS GOOD AND I FEEL LIKE IM TURNING A CORNER MENTALLY, MY EYES ARE SET ON "ABSORB" AND EVERYTHING I SEE I SEE WITH NEW EYES IN AWE...ITS A GREAT FEELING.  JAP GETS HERE ON THE 8TH FEDE ON THE TENTH, I HAVE A FEELING MADNESS WILL CERTAINLY ENSUE...AND THE RACE TO HO CHI MIN CAN OFFICIALLY BEGIN. GONNA REALLY TRY AND GET THE HOOK UP FROM ONG TO GET A SAK YANT (MAGIC/PRAYER TATTOO) FROM A MONK ONCE WE MAKE IT UP TO CHAING RAI.

MAYBE ILL MAKE A LIST IN MY NEXT POST OF ALL THE WEIRD SHIT I MISS...

PUSSY ALL NIGHT.

MARCH 31 MMXI

TODAY IS MY LAST DAY HERE IN SINGAPORE, IM HEADED OFF TO START THE RACE TO HO CHI MIN, FEDE WILL BE JOINING ME IN PHUKET ON THE 10TH APRIL.  IN THE MEAN TIME, IVE GOT A GIG WORKING AT SIAM INK IN PATONG WITH A COUPLE OF REALLY GOOD ARTISTS, IM PRETTY EXCITED, FROM WHAT I HEAR ITS A REALLY BUSY SHOP, BAD NEWS IS THAT ITS BEEN RAINING AND FLOODING IN THAILAND AND ACCORDING TO DANA AT THE SHOP ITS BEEN PRETTY SLOW, SO IM CROSSING MY FINGERS FOR SUNSHINE.  GOT TO SPEND THE DAY WITH JAP ON THE 29TH, HE GAVE ME A MAP AND TOLD ME WHERE TO EAT, SLEEP, WHAT TO WATCH OUT FOR ETC...IT WAS GREAT.  THEN I MET UP WITH FEDE, RYAN, EDDIE AND MARK FOR A BIKE TRIP TO THE HAUNTED OLD CHANGI HOSPITAL, IT WAS SOOOO MUCH FUN, I HAVENT BEEN ON A BIKE FOR YEARS AND YEARS, RYAN WAS GIVING US THE RUN DOWN ON HIS OLD COMMANDO CAMP WHEN HE DID HIS SG NATIONAL SERVICE, THE HOSPITAL WAS LOCKED UP TIGHT WITH CCTV ALL OVER AND BARBED WIRE ETC, I WAS PRETTY BUMMED, IT WAS WHERE THE JAPANESE WERE TORTURING PEOPLE DURING WWII (AMOUNG OTHER PLACES) AND I WAS EXCITED TO GET INSIDE AND GET SPOOKED...OH WELL, THERE WERE SOME OLD BARRACKS THAT WERE SUPER CREEPY AND HAD IRON BARS OVER THE DOORS...MY PHONE WAS DEAD AND I DIDNT BRING MY CAMERA...FUCK.  WE WERE DRINKING BEER AND RIDING THE BEACH BOARDWALK FOREVER, IT WAS SO MUCH FUN AND I WAS REALLY GLAD TO GET SOME FUCK OFF TIME WITH RYAN AND THE BOYS. YESTERDAY WAS REALLY SPECIAL, YVES TOOK US OUT ON HIS SAILBOAT (MY FIRST TIME ON A REAL SAILBOAT) AND WE WENT SAILING, IT WAS GREAT! THE WHOLE RAFFLES MARINA CREW WENT OUT AND EVERYONE WAS THERE BECAUSE IT WAS MY LAST NIGHT, I WAS TOTALLY HONORED, ESPECIALLY SINCE ILL BE RIGHT BACK IN MAY.  IM SURROUNDED BY AMAZING PEOPLE. SO MY FLIGHT LEAVES IN A FEW HOURS AND IM EXCITED TO GET THE CHAOS GOING UP NORTH, LETS HOPE I CAN MAKE WHAT LITTLE MONEY I HAVE LAST, IM HEADED OUT ARMED WITH MY BACKPACK HALF FULL OF TATTOO EQUIPMENT HALF FULL OF THE 5 SHIRTS, 2 SHORTS IM CALLING A MONTHS WORTH OF CLOTHES...NO COMPUTER, NO CAMERA, JUST THE IPHONE...I LOVE IT! LETS HOPE I CAN HANDLE THAILAND WITH SEX AND DRUGS SO READILY AVAILABLE ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN!

MARCH 24 MMXI

MARCH 19 MMXI

SO...FOLLOWING MY LAST POST, WE IMMEDIATELY STARTED DRINKING UNTIL WE WERE BUZZED ENOUGH TO GO RACING AROUND ON OUR SCOOTERS...AGAIN, JUST THE THREE OF US, SOUTH AFRICAN BRENT, FEDERICO AND MYSELF.  WE DID A QUICK COUNT OF MONEY AND REALIZED THAT WE WERE ALL FUCKING BROKE AND DECIDED TO GET NICE AND LOOPY BEFORE WE HIT THE CLUBS.  SO, BRENT, BEING THE MANIACAL SUPER DJ GENIUS THAT HE IS, DECIDED TO TAKE A CIRCLE K TOUR OF BALI...LITTLE DID WE KNOW THERE ARE A MILLION CIRLE K'S...SOMETIMES LESS THAN 20 METERS FROM THE PREVIOUS ONE. THE ROADS WERE WET AND THE FRESH SMELL OF BALI WAS EVERYWHERE...ILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT NIGHT.  I LOST COUNT OF HOW MANY BEERS AND MIX MAX VODKA COOLERS WE HAD BEFORE FEDE AND BRENT WERE PLAYING SPLISH SPLASH SCOOTER WARS CAUSING BRENT TO SLAM ON HIS BREAKS AROUND A CORNER AND ME TO SWERVE LOSE MY BALANCE AND FALL SIDEWAYS INTO A WALL AND FILTHY PUDDLE ON THE COBBLE LIKE STREET...I GOT UP AND WE WERE ALL LAUGHING...AND...YORKATRON WON FIRST BLOOD IN BALI...WINNER.  AFTER DRINKING AND CATCHING THE GIGGLES WE WENT TO A COUPLE BARS AND I COULD TELL THE MOOD WAS CHANGING TO TROUBLE...AFTER SHOTS AND FISHBOWLS AND BLUE COCKTAILS WE ENDED UP AT THE SKY GARDEN AGAIN AND I SWEAR TO CHRIST WE TALKED TO EVERY BROAD IN THE PLACE, TELLING THEM HOW TALENTED THEY WERE AND OTHER GOD AWFUL NONSENSE WE COULD MAKE UP.  OH MAN WHAT A FUCKING TEAM WE BECAME! WE NAMED OURSELVES THE BASIL BOSTON BALLS AND EACH HAS A NICKNAME: ME: BOBBY LAS VEGAS (STILL), FEDE IS NIKKI NEW JERSEY AND BRENT IS MICKEY MIAMI, CAN YOU TELL ALCOHOL WAS INVOLVED? LOL, ANYWAY, AFTER THE BLUR AND LOST TIME STARTED TO SET IN, I FOUND MYSELF SPEAKING TO A PRETTY SEXY SWEDISH BLONDE HAIRED BEAUTY...AFTER SHE BLEW ME OFF AND WENT BACK TO HER "MAN" BRENT SNICKERED AND SAID "NEXT!" IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE SWEDISH GIRLS "MAN" WAS IN MY FACE, NOSE TO NOSE SAYING SOME NONSENSE ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?? I SAID, LISTEN, BUDDY, WE ARE FROM HERE (I WAS, BY ASSOCIATION AT LEAST) AND SAID IF YOU FUCK AROUND WITH ME, ILL HAVE YOU BLEEDING ON THE GROUND BY A THREE COUNT. (MAN AM I TOUGH) HE THEN TURNED HIS ATTENTION TO BRENT, AND STARTED RUNNING HIS MOUTH, NOW BRENT, HES A BIG ASS GUY, ABOUT 6'9, COVERED IN TATTOOS AND MEAN LOOKIN WHEN HES NOT SMILING AND SAYING SOMETHING AWESOME.  I ON THE OTHER HAND AM NO MOUSE, IM 6 FOOT, ABOUT 220, AND KNOW HOW TO HOLD MY OWN...NOW WHAT FOLLOWS I NOT A STATEMENT OF "COOL" OR SOMETHING TO BRAG ABOUT, SIMPLY A DOCUMENTED SERIES OF THINGS THAT HAPPENED THAT I NEED TO LET YALL KNOW ABOUT SO YOU CAN ADD IT TO THE MYSTERIES OF MY DEMISE, AT THE BEGINNING OF THE NIGHT I DECIDED I WAS EITHER GONNA FUCK A MOVIE STAR OR GET IN A FIGHT, AND WITH THE SHORTAGE OF MOVIE STARS IN BALI THAT PARTICULAR NIGHT THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED:  I HEARD THE DUDE CALL BRENT A PUSSY, I WAS FRUSTRATED AND BORED OF THE SHIT TALKING AND WANTED SOME ACTION...FEDE WAS ON HIS WAY UP TO ME AT THAT MOMENT, FEDE, WHOS NEVER BEEN IN A FIGHT, WHO WANTED TO BE IN A FIGHT, WALKS UP AND I CALMLY SAID: TAKE OFF YOUR BRACELETS...HERE WE GO...HERE WE GO...I TURNED AND JUST POPPED THE GUY WITH A YORKATRONIC SUPER RIGHT HOOK (MY BEST PUNCH, SO GOOD, ITS ON MY RESUME...IM DEAD SERIOUS, ITS ON MY RESUME UNDER SPECIAL SKILLS) MEANWHILE: THIS DUDE SERIOUSLY SLID SIDEWAYS ON HIS TOES STANDING AND HIS KNEES BUCKLED UNDER HIM AS HE HIT THE WALL A FEW FEET BEHIND HIM AND LANDED UNDER THE BAR STONE COLD KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT, I GRINED A DEVILISH GRIN AND REACHED FOR MY CAMERA, BY THE TIME MY FINGERS TOUCHED THE TOP OF MY PHONE I HEARD: "HEY!!!'' I SPUN TO SEE THE FIRST BOUNCER RUSHING TWOARDS ME ON THE TOP STORY OF THIS FOUR STORY CLUB...HOLY SHIT I THOUGHT, YOURE GONNA BE IN BALI JAIL AND MISS YOUR FLIGHT TOMORROW...BEING DRUNK ENOUGH TO THINK I KNEW PARKOUR I DID A STRAIGHT EMMIT SMITH JUKE AND SPUN AROUND AND JUMPED DOWN SOME STAIRS, DOUBLING BACK ACROSS THE SAME FLOOR TO THE OPPOSITE STAIRS, RUSHING DOWN THE FLIGHT AND SOMEHOW ENDING UP ON THE 2ND FLOOR AND IN A SPIRAL STAIR CASE WITH I SWEAR TEN SECURITY GUYS SCREAMING AT ME TO STOP...I WAS LAUGHING AND SAYING FUUUCK YOU!!! ONE MANAGED TO GRAB MY LEG THROUGH THE RAILS OF THE SPIRAL STAIRS AND ANOTHER GRABBED MY ARM, MY HEART WAS RACING AND I WAS INDEED LOVING THE EXCITEMENT, I SPUN OUT OF THE LEG HOLD AND WRESTLING STYLE WIPED OFF THE HOLD ON MY ARM AND I FELT LIKE THE PUNK ROCK JASON BOURNE!! I SPRINTED OUT THE FRONT OF THE CLUB AND TOOK AN IMMEDIATE RIGHT...I WAS FUCKING COOKIN AND WAS THINKING: THESE DUDES ARE SHORT, THERES NO WAY THEY CAN KEEP UP, LOOKING BACK I THOUGHT: OH FUCK THEYRE ON ME!, THEN I STARTED REALLY RUNNING, STILL SAYING TO MYSELF, IF YOU GET CAUGHT YOURE GOING TO JAIL OR FIGHTING FOUR DUDES FOR NO REASON...I KICKED IT INTO HIGH GEAR AND ENDED UP IN SOME FUCKED UP PRIVATE CONDOS OR SOME SHIT PASSING THE SECURITY GATE AND WAVING AND SMILING AT THE GUARDS THERE, IT WAS A DEAD END...FUCK...I COULD SEE TWO OF THE BOUNCERS FROM THE CLUB STILL RUNNING TOWARDS ME, I SPUN AND HEADED UP SOME WHITE INDUSTRIAL STAIRS AND ENDED UP WITH TWO LOCKED DOORS AND ONLY ONE WAY DOWN...SO I JUMPED INTO SOME FUCKING BUSHES AND WENT DOWN THE FIRST SIDE STREET, STRIPPING OFF MY NOW SOAKED IN SWEAT BUTTON UP SHIRT, OFF MY NOW, UNFORTUNATELY SOBER ASS AND STARTED WALKING THE LONG WAY BACK TO MY SCOOTER (THAT WAS PARKED DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE CLUB) TO TRY AND RENDEZVOUS WITH BRENT AND FEDE, I SNUCK BACK IN ONCE OR TWICE AND THERE SCOOTERS WERE STILL THERE, I HAD NEITHER OF THE BOYS NUMBERS (AND HAVE NO SERVICE ANYWAY) I TRYED SKYPING AND FACEBOOK FROM A STOLEN WIFI CONNECTION, I WAS FUCKED WITHOUT THEM, I HAD NO FUCKING CLUE HOW TO GET BACK TO THE VILLA, WE TOOK EVERY SIDE STREET YOU COULD IMAGINE TO GET THERE AND HIT EVER CICLE K, MY BEARINGS WERE BACKWARDS AND I HAD NOT LESS THAN 3 BUCKS US IN MY POCKET AND MY BIKE WAS NEARLY OUTTA GAS...I POSTED UP AND WATCHED FOR THEM ON THE ONE WAY FOR AN HOUR OR SO BEFORE HOPPING IN A CAB, CLIMBING UP THE VILLA WALL AND GETTING SOME CASH TO PAY MY CABBIE.  WHAT A NIGHT, THE NEXT DAY I POPPED OVER TO PICK UP SOME GIFTS I HAD CARVED UP AND WE GOT ON THE PLANE BACK TO SINGAPORE.  I HAVE $16 US LEFT AFTER THE CAB RIDE BACK TO THE MARINA FROM THE AIRPORT, I WOKE UP TODAY KNOWING THAT ITS ALL OR NOTHING, SO I ROPED IN 2 TATTOOS AND MADE A FEW BUCKS IN THE MAXOUT OFFICE. I GOT TO DO A PRETTY DECENT SIZED LETTERING TATTOO AND IM KIND OF STOKED ON IT, ESPECIALLY AFTER HOW EVER MUCH OF A LONG ASS TIME ITS BEEN SINCE I TATTOOED LAST. THE OTHER WAS A TOUCH UP JOB ON SOME PRETTY WRECKED OLDE ENGLISH. TWO WEEKS TILL THAILAND, LAOS, CAMBODIA, VIETNAM...WHICH FROM THIS POINT FURTHER WILL BE CALLED BY THE PROPER NAME FEDE AND I HAVE DEEMED IT: THE RACE TO HO CHI MINH, WE START IN PHUKET AND HAVE TO SOMEHOW MAKE IT UP AROUND DOWN AND OVER TO HO CHI MINH BY THE 9TH OF MAY...I LEAVE ON THE 31ST AND AM REALLY HOPING TO BE TATTOOING AT A PLACE CALLED SIAM INK, IF THE GODS FAVOR ME...I WILL, STILL WAITING TO SEE IF ITS GONNA WORK OUT.

GO FASTER, FIND THE EDGES, DIE YOUR DREAMS, SLEEP WHEN YOURE DEAD.

MARCH 17 MMXI

AFTER A LONG WEEKEND OF WESTSIDE JAM AND TRIPPLE 14 HOUR DAYS OF BARTENDING AND DRINKING MORE BOOZE THAN ANYONE COULD IMAGINE, INCLUDING MYSELF AFTER A MASSIVE BLACKOUT AND LOSING MY VIDEO CAMERA, IM A BIT BUMMED THAT THE FOOTAGE OF THE DEBAUCHERY IS NOW GONE FOREVER, BUT MAYBE THATS A GOOD THING.  THE WEEKEND DID YEILD A MASSIVE REJECTION FROM MY NEW CRUSH, BUT WHO KNOWS MAYBE ILL WEAR HER DOWN, NOW, IVE FOUND MYSELF IN BALI FOR THE SECOND TIME IN MY LIFE.  FEDE AND I CAME DOWN BEFORE THE REST OF THE SINGAPORE CREW AND COMPLETELY VEGGED FOR THE FIRST TWO DAYS. EVERYONE ARRIVED YESTERDAY AND BRENT BURNS (ALSO KNOWN AS MICKEY MIAMI TO THE UNDERWORLD) TOOK FEDE AND OUT LAST NIGHT AT NEARLY 2AM, WE DIDNT RETURN UNTIL WE WERE ALL WALKING CROOKED AND SLURRING AND THE SUN WAS SHINING BRIGHTLY ABOVE US.  AFTER WE DRANK AWAY THE HANGOVERS WE RENTED BIKES AND TOOLED AROUND TOWN (ITS COMPLETELY FUCKING INSANE DRIVING HERE) THEN HEADED OUT TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BEACH IVE EVER SEEN, THIS PLACE IS NO DOUBT PARADISE, AND IM GETTING THE ITCH TO TRY TO GET A JOB HERE AFTER GOING NORTH.  BRENT IS AMAZING, HES A DJ, AND A GOOD ONE, COVERED IN TATTOOS AND FROM SOUTH AFRICA, ITS REALLY COOL TO HAVE SOMEONE WHOS A LOT LIKE ME AND REMINDS ME OF MY FRIENDS BACK HOME.  NOT THAT MY NEW FRIENDS ARENT, BUT FACT IS, THEYRE STILL DIFFERENT...SAME SAME BUT DIFFERENT.  THE BEACH WAS CALLED ULUWATU AND THE FOOTAGE FROM MY PHONE IS FUCKING AMAZING, I CANT WAIT TO CHOP THE BALI FOOTAGE WHEN I GET BACK TO THE CARPE DIEM.  THE BAR DIDNT DO THAT GOOD OVER THE WEEKEND, PARTLY BECAUSE OF ATTENDANCE, PARTLY BECAUSE OF ME BLACKING OUT...IM INFINITELY SAD ABOUT THIS AND FEEL I LET RYAN DOWN, EVEN IF ITS ONLY A COUPLE HUNDRED BUCKS, I BUSTED MY ASS EITHER WAY AND IT WASNT GOOD ENOUGH, BUT THAT SEEMS TO BE THE GENERAL FEELING ABOUT BEING AN AMERICAN IN ASIA.  NOW, WE ARE SITTING HERE CHILLING AFTER DRIVING THOSE SCOOTERS ALL DAY AND GETTING RECOUPED TO GET DRUNK AND FALL IN LOVE WITH SOME BEAUTIFUL STROMZETTA MIA'S AND GET FUCKING KRUNK.

HOLLER BACK...

MARCH 4 MMXI

TODAY I GOT A LITTLE PISSED.  IT WAS A GREAT DAY FOR ME THAT ENDED IN A WICKED GOOD CHEST WORKOUT AND A GIN AND TONIC (STILL DRINKING).  THE REASON I GOT PISSED WAS BECAUSE IVE HAD A HANDFUL OF GIRLFRIENDS THAT I COULDNT STAND THE MUSIC I WAS INTO, WHICH, IN TURN MAKES ME NOT LISTEN TO WHAT I LOVE, MAKES ME DICTATE MOODS TO MOODY ASS BITCHES, GRANTED, MY MUSIC TASTES ARE SERIOUSLY "ADVANCED," "STRANGE," AND "WACKY" BEING THE FUCKING CRACKO WAKO THAT I AM, THE MUSIC IS MY NUMBER ONE INSPIRATION, ITS PAINTS COLORS TO THE MADNESS IN MY BRAINS (DOES EMOTIONAL MUSIC HAVE QUITE AN EFFECT ON YOU?)...WHAT BITCHES.  FACT.  WHAT BITCHES.  IN FACT, I DONT REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I COULD HONESTLY BE MYSELF, GUESS IM FREAKED OUT ABOUT LETTING IT ALL OUT BECAUSE THEYLL EITHER CANE AND JAIL ME OR RUN SCREAMING FOR THE CLOSEST BOMB SHELTER AND CONDEMN ME AS A HERETIC OR SOMETHING.  ANYWAY, BACK TO THE LADIES, IM OVER EM.  THE GIRLS BACK HOME THAT I THINK ABOUT ARE BECOMING LACKLUSTER, FADING IN THE FANTASY BRILLIANCE I RAISE THEM TO, IVE ALWAYS IMMORTALIZED WOMEN IN MY MIND IN ORDER TO REACH THAT "MUSE" STAGE, TO GAIN INSPIRATION, ON THE ASCENSION AND ESPECIALLY DURING THE CRASH N BURN...WHAT BETTER INSPIRATION FOR ART THAN A BROKEN HEART...OR THREE. FEDE TATTOOED ME NIGHT BEFORE LAST, "NO FUCKING REFUNDS" ON MY LEG IN A PIKE FONT THAT I DREW BACKWARDS ON MY LEG...IT WAS AWESOME TO BE TATTOOED BY SOMEONE WHO'D NEVER HELD A MACHINE, HE DID PRETTY GOOD...AND ITS ABOUT THE MOST PUNK ROCK TATTOO IVE GOT.  THE LONGER I SPEND OUT HERE THE LESS THINGS MAKES SENSE, I GUESS THATS A SURPRISE FOR ME, SINCE I LEFT HOME TO GAIN SOME KIND OF TRUTH...I THINK I MAY GET HOME TO LEARN ILL BE MORE FRUSTRATED AND CONFUSED THAN BEFORE AND HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ON THE ROAD, I LIKE THE POETRY IN THAT...THE MORE I THINK ABOUT WHAT I LEFT, THE MORE IM REALIZING, I ONLY NEED WHAT I CAN FUCKING CARRY, ITS FREED ME IN MORE WAYS THAN I CAN EXPLAIN.  IM FREE TO DO WHAT I WANT WITHOUT RESTRICTIONS...I FEEL LIKE A GIANT WHEN I SAY THAT, I NEVER STOPPED THINKING THAT I COULD ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING, BUT NOW, ITS LIKE THE BLOOD IN ME IS DIFFERENT, IT RACES FASTER, AND IT RUNS HOT. I WANT TO FIND MORE WAYS TO GO FASTER, MAKE MY HEART RACE, AND BREAK THROUGH BOUNDARIES OF CONFORMITY AND TAKE RISKS THAT NO ONE ELSE COULD TAKE AND TALK ABOUT.  I KINDA WANNA DIE OUT HERE, THATS NOT MEANT TO BE DARK, EVER SINCE I WAS AN ALTER BOY AT SAINT MARTIN OF TOURS I DREAMED OF MARTYRDOM, (STRANGE BUT ALSO POINTS TO MY OBSESSION WITH DEATH) IM SURE NOT MANY PRE-TEEN BOYS DREAM OF DYING FOR A CAUSE, BUT I DID, DONT BLAME IT ON CATHOLICISM.  BUT TO DIE OUT HERE WOULD HAVE A PROFOUND EFFECT ON EVERYONE WHOS EVER MET ME, I LEFT TO RE-LIVE MY LIFE, I BROKE OUT OF MORTGAGES AND FAVORS TO UNWORTHY FRIENDS, IM FREE FROM THE RULES OF THE SOCIETY THAT I CORNERED MYSELF INTO...I CAN DO FUCKING ANYTHING NOW.  ITS NOT THAT ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, ITS THAT ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE...FOR ME.  IM GONNA CRACK THE SKY OPEN AND START A WAR WITH HEAVEN.  IM GONNA SMOKE FUCKING OPIUM AND PUT MY HEAD THROUGH A FUCKING THOUSAND MIRRORS AND ASK WHAT HAPPENED THE NEXT DAY.  WESTSIDE JAM IS IN 6 DAYS, PLUS THREE TILL BALI 2.0...I CANT WAIT TO GET BACK TO BALI, TO KICK BACK AND GET FUCKING WILD IN INDO. FINALLY, THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO FINALLY BE UNLEASHED...BALI, THEN THAILAND, LAOS, CAMBODIA, VIETNAM...ALTHOUGH ILL BE COMING BACK TO SINGAPORE IN MAY, IT SEEMS THAT I AM FINALLY GETTING TO THE FUCKING ADVENTURE AND UNCERTAINTY THAT IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR...THINGS ARE TOO SAFE IN SINGAPORE...THAT, AND ILL GET FUCKING CANED FOR EVERYTHING IVE ACTUALLY THOUGHT OUT LOUD...PART OF ME WANTS TO GO BOMB CAN THE YORKATRONIC LOGO ON SOMETHING...PART OF ME REALLY DOESNT WANNA GET CANED...

TILL NEXT TIME...AN ALL MY BITCHES SING...YORKATRONIC, NA, NA, NA, NANANA, NAHHHHHH....

FEBRUARY 18TH MMXI

GOT BACK FROM ANGELES CITY OUTSIDE OF MANILA IN THE PHILIPPINES LAST NIGHT...I REALLY ENJOYED THAT PLACE, MY FIRST IMPRESSION WAS CHIRST IM BACK IN GUATEMALA, THE VIBE IS NEARLY IDENTICAL IT WAS AMAZING.  THE SMELLS, THE POVERTY, AND TROUBLE WAS AROUND EVERY CORNER.  ITS FUNNY HOW RICH YOU CAN BE EXCHANGING THE DOLLAR IN A POOR COUNTRY...IT MAKES YOU SPEND TWICE AS MUCH TWICE AS FAST.  OUR FIRST NIGHT OUT I THINK I DRANK 17 REDBULL VODKAS AND ENDED UP TAKING A LIL PHILIPPINA COBRA HOME AND HANGING OUT WITH HER FOR A COUPLE DAYS, TILL WE WENT OUT AGAIN THE NIGHT BEFORE I SPLIT, IVE BEEN TELLING EVERY GIRL I MEET THAT MY NAME IS EDWIN SO THEYLL NEVER FIND ME AGAIN. THE GIRL I BROUGHT HOME THAT NIGHT WAS A REAL TROUBLE MAKER.  A LOT OF THE GIRLS THERE DONT DRINK OR SMOKE THEYRE PREDOMINATELY A CATHOLIC COUNTRY WHICH WAS RAD FOR ME, CATHOLICISM IN AN ASIAN COUNTRY WAS TRIPPY...I MISSED OUT ON ALL THE CHURCHES AND ANY CULTURAL INVESTIGATIONS MOSTLY DUE TO MY HOSTS (THEY REALLY DIDNT WANT TO GO APPARENTLY, WHICH IS FINE) THEY DID HOWEVER, TREAT ME LIKE A KING, INCLUDING JUSTINS GIRL,ETHEL, COOKING ME A BIG BREAKFAST EVERY MORNING AND SECRETLY DOING MY LAUNDRY FOR ME, THE WOMEN THERE REALLY TAKE CARE OF THEIR MEN...CULTURALLY!, BIG CHANGE FROM THE WOMEN I KNOW! (MY LOVING MOTHER EXCLUDED) LUCKY FOR ME THERE HAS BEEN A BIG INFLUX OF COCAINE THERE (WHICH IS REALLY RARE) I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO BUY A COUPLE GRAMS AND GET EXTRA LOOPY...PROBABLY THE BEST BLOW IVE EVER HAD, THEY TOLD ME 2 TONS GOT DROPPED OFF A CARGO SHIP AND PEOPLE WERE SNATCHING UP KILOS OFF THE BEACH!! MAN!, HOW CRAZY WOULD THAT BE?? TANNING UP ON THE BEACH AND LEAVE WITH A FREE KILO??, I COULD FUND THE REST OF MY TRIP!, OK MAYBE NOT...ID BE A POWDERED FACED GHOST! SO I BOUGHT ENOUGH COKE TO BE PUT IN PRISON THE REST OF MY LIFE...IF NOT EXECUTED...(SORRY MAMA) THE PHILIPPINES WAS REALLY SPECIAL, FULL OF HARD WORKING PEOPLE AND CRAZY DRIVERS, I LOVE SPANISH COUNTRIES, EVEN THE ASIAN ONES! THE FIELD THAT I LANDED ON WAS ONCE THE AIRFORCE BASE THAT THE JAPANESE OCCUPIED IN WWII, THE ONE THE AMERICANS BEAT THEM OUT OF, IT WAS REALLY COOL TO BE IN A PRETTY IMPORTANT PART OF THE PACIFIC WAR (GEOGRAPHICALLY), I COULD DEFINITELY SEE ALL THE WESTERNISMS LEFT BEHIND...AGAIN, IN THE PHILIPPINES, EVERY PERSON SPEAKS ENGLISH, AND USUALLY 2 OTHER LANGUAGES, SOME PEOPLE MORE DEPENDING ON WHERE THE DIALECT WAS FROM.  QUOTE OF THE WEEK GOES TO JUSTIN, AFTER I KEEP DROOLING OVER THE "TALLER" (5'2"ISH?) LADIES THAT HAD CHOPPED BANGS: "YORK, BUDDY, YOURE NOT FUCKING HER BANGS!!" VIDEO SOON...

FEBRUARY 22ND MMXI

FEBRUARY 13TH MMXI

IVE BEEN IN A PERPETUAL HANGOVER FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE WEEKS, IM GETTING USED TO MY HEAD HURTING DAILY TO WHERE IT DOESNT REALLY BOTHER ME ANYMORE...I DO FEEL A BIT DUMBER THOUGH.  THE WEST SIDE JAM CONTEST IS QUICKLY APPROACHING HERE AND THINGS ARE RAMPING UP AND GETTING A BIT LOOPY, YOU CAN FEEL THE STRESS STARTING TO MOUNT ON EVERYONE.  IM LEAVING FOR MANILA TOMORROW WHICH WILL BRING SOME WELCOMED TIME OFF.  FUCK I WISH I COULD TATTOO...FEDE AND I ARE PLANNING OUR TRIP TO THAILAND/CAMBODIA/VIETNAM AND IM A BIT NERVOUS BECAUSE IM BROKE AS ALL FUCK AND REALLY DONT WANT TO GET TO OUR SECOND WEEK THERE AND HAVE TO BAIL AFTER WE PLAN EVERYTHING FOR 4-5 WEEKS.  IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO PHUKET AND HOW MANY TATTOOS I CAN DO AFTER WHAT WILL BE BY THEN, 3 MONTHS OFF...WHAT A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.  ITS FUNNY, EVERYDAY I WAKE UP, IM HAPPY IM HERE, I THROUGHLY ENJOY THE HEAT AND MY SINGAPORE FRIENDS, BUT I SWEAR TO CHRIST I JUST CANT BE HAPPY, I FAKE IT PRETTY GOOD, BUT IVE LOST THE JOY IN MY LIFE.  THE GOAL FOR THIS TRIP WAS TO FIND MYSELF, FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS I REALLY WANT OUT OF THIS MESS OF A LIFE, THE OLDER I GET THE LESS IM CONCERNED WITH MONEY, THE LESS IM CONVINCED THAT ILL BE MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS...WHICH LEADS ME TO THE CONCLUSION, IF IM NOT INTERESTED IN MONEY AND PROCREATING THEN I GUESS I WAS BORN TO DIE...WHAT A WASTE. I HAVE ALWAYS FEARED, THAT LIKE A FAMOUS MATHEMATICIAN THAT MY IDEAS AND ANY BRILLIANCE ONCE HARBORED WOULD FADE WITH AGE...I CERTAINLY FEEL THATS THE CASE LATELY, IT MAY BE A CASE OF PERSPECTIVE, HERE IN ASIA THE PEOPLE WORK HARDER, EAT AND COMPLAIN LESS -MAKES ME SAD TO BE AN AMERICAN.  I LOVE MY COUNTRY, DONT GET ME WRONG, IM A PATRIOT, BUT ITS HARD NOT TO HONESTLY LOOK AT THE STATE OF THINGS AND ASSUME A FUCKING REVOLUTION IS COMING, NO WONDER CHINA OWNS THE US. IM STARTING TO REALIZE THAT ILL PROBABLY RUN OUT OF MONEY VERY SOON...ILL FUCKING DIE BEFORE I GO HOME DEFEATED, I TELL MYSELF THIS EVERYDAY, IN MY MIND I SEE ALL THE FUCKING DOUBTERS IN MY LIFE, THE PEOPLE THAT TELL ME I CANT DO SOMETHING, THESE PEOPLE ARE NECESSARY BECAUSE THEY ARE WHAT FUEL MY DESIRE TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING WORTHWHILE, THEY IGNITED THE FIRE IN ME LONG AGO AND CONSTANTLY FEED THE RAGE IN ME, THE RAGE THAT DEFINES ME. I WANNA DO HANDFULS OF DRUGS AND FORGET EVERYTHING I KNOW...MAYBE ITS JUST THE HANGOVER...VINO VERITAS...LOL... CRAPULA VERITAS.

FEBRUARY 6TH MMXI

THE LAST TWO NIGHTS I GOT TO HANG OUT WITH MY HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND JUSTIN, THE 101 POUNDER FROM MY WRESTLING DAYS, HE AND HIS DAD CAME UP ON A VISA RENEWAL RUN FROM THE PHILIPPINES, WHERE HE NOW LIVES.  THE TWO OF THEM WOWED ME WITH STORIES OF HOW POOR AND AMAZING IT IS IN MANILA...SO, I BOOKED MY TICKET TO HEAD OVER THERE NEXT WEEK.  REALLY STOKED!, BEING A FORMER SPANISH COLONY IM EXCITED TO SEE THE FIERY ASIAN/SPANISH MIX OVER THERE...MAGELLAN FOOL!!!  FLYING ON TIGER AIR FOR THE FIRST TIME, GOT THE ROUND TRIP FOR 146USD, GONNA BE FUN TO BE RICH DOWN THERE, I GUESS THE PESO IS RIPE AND READY TO BE EXPLOITED BY YORKATRON! GONNA BE FUN, JUSTIN IS WORKING IN THE CLOTHING INDUSTRY, MAYBE ILL LUCK OUT AND GET SOME CLOTHING MADE. EXCITED TO HAVE MY FIRST TRIP OUT, GONNA BE A REALLY NICE CHANGE FROM BEING AROUND ALL THE BLEEDING MONEY HERE IN SINGAPORE.  IM CERTAINLY RECOGNIZING THAT NOT BECAUSE OF ENVY, BUT BECAUSE OF EXCESS I START TO BECOME FRUSTRATED WITH THE MINDLESS ZOMBIES THAT GO TO WORK DAILY TO PAY FOR THEIR FREAKIN MASERATIS AND ONE VACATION A YEAR.  PLAYED BLACKJACK WITH THE CREW THE OTHER NIGHT ON THE CARPE DIEM, LEARNED THAT POKER HERE IS A LOT LIKE VIETNAMESE POOL...AN ACE COUNTS: 1, 11 OR 10, IF THE DEALER GETS BJ I PAY HIM DOUBLE MY BET, 3 OF A KIND=TRIPLE MY BET! WE QUIT WTIH ME UP (OR WE QUIT BEFORE I COULD LOSE).  MEANWHILE...IN EGYPT, IM ANXIOUSLY WAITING FOR THE PROTESTS TO END AND HOPING THAT IF EGYPT BECOMES AN ISLAMIC STATE THAT IT WONT FALL INTO CHAOS AND LEAVE ME WITHOUT SEEING ALEXANDRIA. AGAIN, NO TATTOOS THIS WEEKEND WHICH LED TO MORE OF THE STRONG DRINKS...NORMALLY I WOULD WORRY, BUT FOR NOW I FEEL LIKE THIS MONTH IS ABOUT THE HEART & NEXT MONTH WILL BE ABOUT THE MIND...SO ILL WORRY NEXT MONTH...OR THE MONTH AFTER THAT. 

FEBRUARY 2ND MMXI

TOMORROW MARKS THE START OF THE YEAR OF THE RABBIT, YESTERDAY WAS PURE MADNESS, IT ENDED WITH FEDE AND MYSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF CHINA TOWN IN WHAT I COULD SWEAR WAS HALF THE POPULATION OF SINGAPORE PACKED INTO 5 BLOCKS OF CHAOS, SELLING THE CRAZIEST SHIT!, I SAW SOME AMAZING ART AND WATCHED AN OLD CHINESE MAN PAINTING KANJI IN AWE, IT WAS AMAZING.  WE RAN INTO THREE OF THE MOST GORGEOUS LADIES FROM PERTH AUSTRALIA, GAVE EM MY CARD AND AM HOLDING MY BREATH THAT THEYLL HIT ME UP SO WE CAN HAVE EM OUT TO THE MARINA...IM BLUE IN THE FACE ALREADY IM SURE...BEFORE THAT YESTERDAY, ME, FEDE AND RYAN WENT OUT TO THE CABLE PARK TO WAKEBOARD, IT WAS CRAZY! NEVER TRIED THAT BEFORE AND IT WAS REALLY DIFFERENT, THE BEST I COULD DO WAS A SHIFTY INDY GRAB OFF THE BABY KICKER, MAN I SUCK AT WAKEBOARDING NOW, AFTER THAT WE WENT TO BOON LAY AND CASHED OUR CHECKS AND GOT SOME GROCERIES, I WAS LOOKING FOR SUPPLIES TO MAKE SKIP N GO NAKED, AND TACOS, COULDNT FIND ANYTHING, NOT ONE INGREDIENT TO MAKE THAT SHIT...PISSED, WHILE FEDE IS MAKING THE MOST AMAZING PASTA FOR US FOR DINNER THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS COOK A STEAK AND MAKE FRENCH TOAST! AFTER THAT WE TOOK A CAB HOME, WITH IN 10 MINUTES OF ARRIVING BACK I GOT THE CALL THAT I HAD A TATTOO APPOINTMENT AT 7 FOR SOME LETTERING...SO OFF I WENT! IT WAS CRAZY, I HAD TO GET MY FUCKIN ZEN ON AND TELL MYSELF THAT I HADNT TAKEN 5 WEEKS OFF, ENDED UP DOING SOME SINGLE LINE SCRIPT ON A WRIST MASS SMALL...LOVE, DREAM, HAPPINESS...THERE ISNT STENCIL TRANSFER PAPER LIKE IM USED TO SO IT WAS REALLY TOUGH, SO AFTER WORK I IMMEDIATELY STARTED DRINKING AND WENT TO MEET FEDE IN CHINA TOWN AND LOST LIKE 2 KILOS IN THE HEAT! 

THERE ARE THINGS GOING ON IN MY HEAD.  IM FORGETTING HOME A LITTLE MORE EVERYDAY, I FEEL LIKE IM BUILDING UP TO SOMETHING, THAT THE CHAINS THAT BIND ME ARE GETTING WEAKER AND SOON ALL THE MADNESS AND MOST RADICAL YORKATRONIC QUALITIES ARE GOING TO HUM IN UNISON AND ILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO FOCUS ON DOING SOMETHING WORTHY OF MY NAME.  RIGHT NOW THOUGH, I NEED TO FOCUS ON TATTOOING, ITS FUNNY, AS MUCH AS I HATED MY LAST JOB THE ABILITY TO TATTOO SO OFTEN WAS QUITE THE BLESSING, BUT DEF NOT WORTH WORKING WITH MARGITES (GREEK POETRY, LOOK IT UP) AND HIS CONSTANT BLASPHEMY. I REALLY MISS MY BOYS AT BULLDOG...SOMEHOW EVERY TIME I WOULD WORK OR HANG OUT, THEY WOULD SORT ME OUT AND ID LEAVE EVERY FUCKING TIME WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE, WHAT FRIENDS! MY MOM ASKED ME VIA EMAIL IF I HAD HEARD ABOUT EGYPT...NO, I HAVENT, IM IN THE NEWS VORTEX.  BUT WHATEVER THEYRE DOING TELL EM TO KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF SO I CAN COME SHAKE EM THE FUCK DOWN. 

SOME MOMENTS CREEP IN WHERE I FEEL A BIT LONELY, NOT OFTEN BECAUSE MOST OF THE TIME IM ATTACHED TO FEDE (A GOD SEND) BUT I SUPPOSE ITS ALWAYS BEEN A BIT LONELY BEING ME, GOING AGAINST EVERY GRAIN I CAN FIND.  I CONSTANTLY THINK OF THE MANY SACRIFICES I HAD TO MAKE TO GET HERE AND TRY MY BEST TO APPRECIATE THAT MY FATE MAY BE SOMETHING NEVER CONSIDERED, I NEVER REALLY BELIEVED IN FATE BUT SOMETIMES LETTING GO AND LETTING THE WIND OR FATE OR WHATEVER BLOW YOU WHERE IT WANTS IS THE BEST MEDICINE FOR YOUR SOUL. IN SHORT...FUCK IT...WHAT HAPPENS WILL WHAT DOESNT IS BORING.  I IMAGINE IM SITTING ALONE WITH LSD BLACKENED EYES, JUST COMING DOWN REMEMBERING THE REAL WORLD AGAIN, ITS AMAZING, I REALIZE THAT IM HERE FOR CONQUEST, KNOWLEDGE CHANGE CHAOS AND DEBAUCHERY! LATELY IM REMINDED OF SECRETS I ONCE KNEW, SECRETS TO MY PERSONALITY ONCE FORGOTTEN, IM REMEMBERING WHO I WAS, WHO I AM, WHO I WILL BE, IM LETTING THE DARKNESS IN MY HEART BE BALANCED WITH THE LIGHT IN MY MIND LIKE ONLY I COULD, IF I HAVE ONLY ONE TALENT ITS BEING TWO THINGS THAT NO OTHER MAN COULD...THE PARADOX.

JANUARY 30TH MMXI

JANUARY 25TH MMXI

ya get out on your own
And you/take all that you own
And you/forget about your home
And then you're/just fuckin' gone


There's no logic here today
Do as you got to, go your own way
I said that's right
Time's short your life's your own
And in the end
We are just


DUST N' BONES

-Axle Rose

LISTENED TO GNR LAST NIGHT AFTER A LONG DAY...HOW WELL DOES THAT SHIT FIT? I GOT VERY LITTLE MONEY LEFT, AND IT EXCITES ME. IM GONNA BE HUNGRY SOON AND HUNGER EQUALS PROGRESS.  WENT TO JAPS KUSTOMS SEVEN TATTOOS YESTERDAY, MET THE CREW, HUNG OUT ALMOST ALL DAY WITH FEDE (THE CORRECT SPELLING, FREDDY IS WRONG BUT THATS WHAT EVERYONE CALLS HIM) GOT TO WATCH JAP DO A BIG POLYNESIAN TATTOO, FILLING ALL HIS BLACKS WITH ROUND SHADERS AMIST THE CHAOS OF HIS SHOP...PRETTY RAD.  MADE ARRANGEMENTS ABOUT HIM ANNOUNCING ME TO HIS CLIENTS AND TALKED THE MONEY SPLIT...WHICH IM REALLY HAPPY WITH, IM STOKED AFTER MY LAST EXPERIENCE (NOT BTP, THE TATTOO SHOP OF THE GODS) IM SO STOKED TO WORK WITH JAP-HES A REALLY COOL GUY, AND HIS SHOP IS SUPER LAID BACK & IN A CRAZY BUILDING.  I SWEAR IM GONNA PUT UP SOME FOOTAGE SOON, IM GONNA TRY AND CAPTURE IT TO THE LAPTOP TODAY.  THAILAND IS GONNA BE FUCKING NUTTY, BIKER RALLY, THEN THE THAILAND WATER FESTIVAL (THEIR NEW YEAR) IN THE CRAZIEST PARTY TOWN IN THE KNOWN WORLD...ILL BE WORKING THERE FOR ONE OF JAPS CONNECTIONS-HE SAID THEY TATTOO TILL 4AM AND RAPE ALL THE TOURISTS!!! MY KINDA PLACE.  BUT MY THOUGHTS IMMEDIATELY WENT TO GREG IRONS AND I WONDER IF ILL SHARE HIS FATE & NEVER MAKE IT OUT OF THAILAND? FUCK IT...WHO KNOWS THESE THINGS? SUCH WORRIES ARE FOR PEOPLE THAT THINK TOMORROW IS GUARANTEED.  THE DAYS IN THE OFFICE ARE BECOMING SHORTER, IM MAKING NEW FRIENDS EVERYDAY AND THINK THAT SOMEHOW, THIS KOOKY LITTLE TRIP IM ON, SOMEHOW IS GOING TO LEAD ME TO THE FORTUNE AND GLORY THAT IVE BEEN LIVING FOR...ITS JUST A FEELING IN MY GUT, BUT I DONT GET THOSE OFTEN, AND THIS TIME...I GOT NOTHING TO LOSE...DUST N BONES...

JANUARY 23 MMXI

TODAY ID LIKE TO QUTOE THE CLASH SONG JIMMY JAZZ: I FEEL LIKE A SOLDIER LOOK LIKE A THEIF.  A HAD A HELL OF A GOOD FUCKING DAY TODAY.  I WOKE UP TO NEWS THAT MY MAIN NIGGAZ AARON AND DANNY FROM OBSCURA WAKESKATES WILL BE COMING TO WEST SIDE JAM TO REP THE STATES AND BRING ON NEW AMERICAN DEBAUCHERY TO SINGAPORE...THEN AN EMAIL FROM WRATH SAYING WE MAY HAVE THE CONNECTIONS NECESSARY TO WORK AS TATTOOERS IN BORNEO...FUCKING HELL!!! EVEN IF IT DOESNT WORK OUT!, THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN FROM REAL BORNEO HEADHUNTERS AND LIGIT TRIBAL WOULD BE QUITE THE HONOR! FUCK! THEN TO TOP TODAY OFF, AFTER MY 3RD RED BULL VODKA EMERGENCY COCKTAIL...I MET JAP FOR THE FIRST TIME, AND HE WAS STOKED (ESPECIALLY AFTER I GAVE HIM KNOCKOUT LETTERING FOR THE BLACK BELT TATTOOER) TO MEET ME, AND AGREED TO GIVE HIS TATTOO TROOPS THE HEADS UP THAT IM IN TOWN AND PISSED OFF ENOUGH TO DO SOME WICKED TATTOOS!!! SO TUESDAY, IM HEADING TO TOWN TO CHECK OUT HIS SHOP, AND GIVE HIS PEOPLE THE FUCK OFF THAT IM HERE.  THEN, LIKE IT WASNT ENOUGH, HE WANTS ME TO GO TO PHUKET THAILAND AND BE IN HIS BOOTH AND TATTOO LIKE FUCK FROM THE 11TH-13TH...GONNA AXE WRATH IF HE WANTS TO ROCK THE THAILAND FUCKERY...WHO KNOWS! EVEN BETTER OFF TODAY...I LEARNED MORE COCKNEYS RHYMING SLANG FROM MY FAVORITE BRITS KEVIN AND MILES HERE IN SINGAPORE: DOG AND BONE FOR PHONE, AND JAM AND TART FOR HEART! GOOD SHIT!!! ALSO, PLATES OF MEAT FOR FEET AND APPLES N PEARS FOR STAIRS...DONT KNOW HOW OFTEN ILL USE THOSE BUT FUCKING HELL!!! YOU CANT FIND THOSE EVEN ON THE NET!!! NIGGA PLEASE!!!!!  OK SO MY STOKEDNESS IS GONNA END AND THE SHIT I WROTE EARLIER WILL FOLLOW! READ OR DONT...I COULD GIVE A FUCK...THIS IS MY BLOG, IM DRUNK, ITS ONE AM AND IM AWARE THAT WHAT I SAY HAS CONSEQUENCES...WHATS MY MUTHA FUCKIN NAME????  WELCOME TO THE TWO SIDES OF THE COMPLICATED AND WAKO YORKATRON...

IVE BEEN WONDERING LATELY…WHY AM I SO MISERABLE? IM TRYING TO TELL MYSELF THAT I HAVE WORTH, THAT IM GONNA DO SOMETHING WITH MYSELF-MY LIFE, THAT THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG THAT MY PATH IS MY OWN, BUT IM IN THE SHARK TANK NOW AND CANT KEEP FROM THINKING THAT IM THE FOOL IN EVERY ROOM I FIND MYSELF IN, I KEEP MEETING SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE AND PEOPLE THAT HAVE WORTH, PEOPLE THAT SPEAK SIX LANGUAGES, I CANT HELP BUT FEEL THAT THEYRE ALL BETTER THAN ME.  THEY ARE I SUPPOSE.  WHEN I DIE, IM CERTAINLY GOING TO HAVE MORE RIGHT TO SAY "I REALLY FUCKIN LIVED WHILE I COULD" MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE IVE EVER MET.  BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?, DOES THAT MEAN I WASTED MY LIFE ON RIDICULOUS IDEAS THAT NEVER PANNED OUT OR THAT MY IDEAS FINALLY OUT WEIGHED MY WALLET AND I WENT FUCKING BROKE AS DICK? OR IS IT THAT SINCE MY EARLY TEENS IVE BEEN OBSESSED WITH DEATH AND THAT IT HAS FILLED MY THOUGHTS DAILY SINCE, MAKING ME REALIZE WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE BECAUSE TOMORROW CERTAINLY WILL NOT COME? FILLING MY TIME WITH PARTYING & WOMEN HAS MADE ME SOMETHING…A GUY WITHOUT KIDS, WITHOUT A WIFE, AND WITH FEW SERIOUS ACCOMPLISHMENTS PASSING UP THE HALF POINT OF HIS LIFE…I HAVE A FREEDOM FEW ARE AFFORDED, IF I WANNA STAY I WILL, IF I WANNA LEAVE ILL ALREADY BE GONE.  IT FEELS REALLY GOOD, BUT IM STILL HAUNTED WITH THE SAME SHIT I THOUGHT I LEFT AT HOME.  IVE BEEN READING A BOOK ON ALEXANDER, ARISTOTLE PERSONALLY WROTE A SHORTENED VERSION OF HOMERS ILLIAD THAT HE VALUED ABOVE ALL THINGS, THATS WHAT IM LOOKING FOR I GUESS, SOME KNOWLEDGE I CAN VALUE ABOVE ANYTHING ELSE.  ITS THE END OF MY THIRD WEEK ABROAD AND IM AS DETERMINED AS EVER TO FIND SOME KIND OF HAPPINESS OR DIVINITY…OR DIE TRYING. 

JANUARY 22 MMXI

FEDERICO AND I ALONG WITH TOMCAT AND AHDANG WENT TO WORK ON THE FUNBOX FOR THE WEST SIDE JAM WAKE CONTEST IN MARCH, I GOT BURNT TO ALL FUCK SO BAD THAT I FELT SICK ALL DAY YESTERDAY.  ME FREDDY AND KELSY GOT OUT TO AN ADVENTURE TO LITTLE INDIA TO GO TO TAI PUSAM, WHICH IS A HINDU FESTIVAL HONORING THE SON OF CHIVA, LORD MURGAN WHERE MEN PIERCE THEMSELVES AND CARRY HUGE WEIGHT ON THESE PIERCED RODS...ANYWAY COOL BUT WE MISSED IT AND ENDED UP HAVING SOME SUPER GOOD INDIAN FOOD AND TEA AND THEN WENT TO THE MUSTAFA MARKET AN ALL NIGHT MARKET THAT IS COMPLETELY INSANE...ITS LIKE A WHOLE MALL IN ONE STORE.  YESTERDAY, I WENT TO VISIT A MUTUAL FRIEND SCOTT DE SILVA AT SHARK TATTOO, ENDED UP RUNNING OUT OF TIME AND MISSING HIM, BUT GOT TO EXPLORE ARAB STREET WHICH WAS FUN AND PROBABLY THE CLOSEST THEYLL LET ME INTO THE MIDDLE EAST, ID DIE TO STAND WHERE BABYLON ONCE WAS...I DONT THINK THEYLL LET ME GO TO BAGHDAD THOUGH...I WONDERED IF MAYBE I COULD SNEAK OVER THERE AND MAYBE TATTOO ON BASE, FUCKING HELL ID BE THE RICHEST DUDE I KNOW, MILITARY GUYS ARE SUPER FUN TO TATTOO AND MAKES ME FEEL CLOSER TO THE INDUSTRY AND ITS AMERICANA HISTORY.  TODAY THOUGH, IM WORKING IN THE OFFICE AND THEN GET TO MEET JAP FOR THE FIRST TIME AND TALK GUEST SPOTS, NOT THAT IM NEARLY COOL ENOUGH TO "GUEST" BUT IT WOULD TAKE FAR TO MANY WORDS TO EXPLAIN IT OTHERWISE.  CHINESE NEW YEAR APPROACHES AND THE SHOP WILL BE CLOSED FOR A WEEK, SO PROBABLY WONT BE TATTOOING FOR ANOTHER WEEK, IT SEEMS LIKE CHINESE NEW YEAR ITS THE BE ALL END ALL, IM STOKED ABOUT IT, HOPEFULLY ITLL BRING ME WEALTH IN 2011, ANYWAY ONE MORE WEEK: WHICH MAKES A MONTH OFF...SCARY, I PROBABLY WONT HAVE ANY CLUE WHAT IM DOING, BETTER GET USED TO IT I SUPPOSE AND FIGURE OUT HOW TO PICKUP RIGHT BACK TO WHERE I LEFT OFF, THE LAST TATTOO I DID IN THE STATES WAS ON MY FRIEND TODD AT BULLDOG, THAT WAS THE FIRST TATTOO I DID SINCE I LEFT ICT THAT I FELT 100% CONFIDENT.  TATTOOING IS SUCH A CONUNDRUM! IM LOVING FACEBOOK IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IVE ONLY BEEN GONE FOR A MATTER OF DAYS, MY PHONE IS STILL OFF, I STILL FUCKING LOVE IT. I GOT DRUNK ON TOP OF THE CASINO (WITH ANY EPIC VIEW OF THE CITY) AND ENDED UP SMOKING A JOINT AND BLACKING OUT...NOT MY INTENTION, BUT IT WAS FUN ALL THE SAME.  IVE TALKED TO MY FOLKS VIA FACETIME EVERY FRIDAY, ITS FUN AND MAKES ME FORGET IM GONE.  BEEN EMAILING SHOPS IN THAILAND ABOUT GETTING ON WITH SOMEONE IN BANGKOK OR SOMETHING...WISH ME LUCK...I MAY BE WAITING TABLES IN APRIL... 

JANUARY 10 MMXI

I WENT TO THE ClOSEST GROCERY STORE YESTERDAY, IT WAS IN A GIANT MALL FILLED WITH EVERYTHING YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE, AND THERE WERE AT LEAST A MILLION FUCKING PEOPLE THERE.  I WENT ALONE, IT WAS AN ADVENTURE, REALLY IT WAS, I JUST WANTED SOME SUPPLIES FOR THE BOAT, BREAD, DRINKS, CIGS ETC...THE PERSONAL BUBBLE IS MUCH SMALLER HERE.  IVE ALWAYS BEEN TOLD THAT BUT GUESS IT DIDNT CLICK LAST TIME, WHILE I WAS SHOPPING AND BUYING FRUIT AND STUFF THERE WAS AT LEAST ONE PERSON WITHIN ONE FOOT OF ME AT ALL TIMES.  THE PLACE WAS LIKE WALMART TIMES 1000! I HAVE PANIC ATTACKS AT WALMART I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE WHEN I FIRST WENT IN BUT I QUICKLY GOT USED TO IT AND ACTUALLY HAD FUN-I THINK NORMAL SMALL TALK AND THANK YOUS TO CLERKS AND SALESPEOPLE ARE RARE HERE SO I ALWAYS GET A SMILE. THE CANONBALL SIZED HOLE THAT USUALLY SITS SOMEWHERE IN MY CHEST CAVITY SEEMS TO BE SLOWLY SHRINKING, THAT HOLE THAT IVE ALWAYS FILLED WITH WOMEN AND DRUGS OR WHATEVER I MIGHT BE OBSESSING OVER...MAYBE ITS THE HEAT OR ALL THE CHANGES, MAYBE IM GROWING AS A HUMAN OUT HERE, THE WORLD SHRINKS LIKE THAT HOLE THROUGH ME A BIT MORE EVERYDAY...YOU EVER GET FRUSTRATED THAT YOULL BE STUCK ON THIS PLANET TILL YOU DIE?? I REMEMBER LOOKING AT THE STARS WHEN I WOULD HUNT OR FISH WITH MY DAD AND THINK: WHAT FUCKING BULLSHIT IT IS THAT I WONT GET TO GO UP THERE, FUCK. ...SORRY, RANDOM, ANYWAY, THE MALL WAS FUN, IM A BIG ASS WHITE DUDE WITH TATTOOS AND A SPARKLE IN HIS EYE WINKING AT ALL MY LOVLIES...FUCKING HELL LIFE IS GOOD!

JANUARY 7 MMXI

TODAY I FEEL SO BLESSED TO LIVE IN THE TIME I AM IN, I HAD A FACETIME CONVERSATION WITH MY PARENTS THIS MORNING AND GOT TO LOOK THEM IN THE EYE FROM OUR IPHONE 4s AND TALK AS IF I WAS IN THE ROOM WITH THEM...HOW FUCKING AMAZING AND LUCKY WE ARE TO HAVE SUCH TECHNOLOGY, FROM HALF THE WORLD AWAY TO TALK LIKE THAT.  GOD BLESS THE PEOPLE THAT PUT THEIR LIVES IN TO THE DEVELOPMENT TO MAKE SUCH THINGS!  LAST NIGHT WE HAD A HUGE DINNER WITH LIKE 11 PEOPLE, EATING CHINESE OR SOMETHING SEAFOOD...MOSTLY STUFF I HAD NO CLUE AS TO WHAT IT WAS BUT ITS WAS GOOD AND I LEFT FEELING HEAVY...BUT SINCE IVE BEEN HERE I THINK I HAVE ONLY EATEN FISH, FISH PASTE IN PALM LEAVES, FRIED FISH, CRAB, PRAWNS COOKED WHOLE, FISH SOUP, FISH FUCKING EVERYTHING!! ITS AWESOME! TODAY, FEDERICO AND RYAN AND EILEEN (WHOM IVE SPENT THE MAJORITY OF MY DAYS WITH SO FAR) ARE LEAVING FOR BALI AND LEAVING ME TO RUN MAXOUT AND HANDLE THE COLLECTION OF MONEY AND BOOKING CHARTERS AND WAKEBOARD SESSIONS AND SUCH...BUT TONIGHT I BELIEVE I WILL GET TO PAINT THE TOWN WITH MEL AND JIN MY GIRLS THAT I KNOW HERE FROM MY PREVIOUS VISIT, EXCITED TO GET TO THE CITY AND LEAVE THE FAMOUS YORKATRONIC MARK!  

JANUARY 14 MMXI

BELIEVE IT OR NOT...HERE I AM IN SINGAPORE, BORED OUTTA MY BLEEDING MIND.  FEDERICO GETS BACK TODAY SO HOPEFULLY WE WILL GET A BOTTLE OR SOMETHING AND GET RETARDED.  80% OF ME WANTS TO GET ON WITH IT AND GO, SINGAPORE IS LACKING THE MIND BOGGLING ADVENTURE I WANTED IT TO HAVE.  ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE THOUGH, THE REI MTS UNDERWEAR MY DAD GOT ME FOR CHRISTMAS ARE FUCKING EPIC...MAN!, THEIR DRY IN LIKE LESS THAN A MINUTE...I THINK I MAY SEND THE REST HOME!, THERE WILL BE A LOT OF THINGS SENT HOME BEFORE I LEAVE SINGAPORE.  I KEEP ON FINDING LADIES EVERYWHERE, THIS WEEKEND SHOULD PROVE SUCCESSFUL...THE LAST WORDS VIA EMAIL FROM GORDON WAS "BAG IT HOMIE" SENT THROUGH MY MOM. SPEAKING OF, MY MOM TOOK THE TIME BEFORE I LEFT TO CONTACT MY RELATIVES AND BEST FRIENDS TO WRITE SOMETHING SHORT FOR ME TO TAKE WITH, FINALLY GOT TO READING THEM ALL LAST NIGHT AND FOUND MYSELF LAUGHING AND CRYING MORE THAN ONCE.  I HAD MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY WRITE ME SOMETHING TOO, HAVENT CRACKED INTO THAT JUST YET...GONNA WAIT TILL I FEEL THAT ALL MAY BE LOST, WHICH MOST DEFINITELY WILL COME, TO READ AND BE RESTORED.  STARTED WRITING A SCREENPLAY, PROBABLY WILL HAVE TO FINISH IT WHEN I GET HOME WITH A WEEK OR TWO IN SECLUSION AT THE RANCH, BUT I THINK IT MIGHT BE WHAT IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO WRITE BUT NEVER HAD THE TIME BECAUSE I WAYS SO BUSY SERVING OTHERS.  NOW THAT MY PHONE IS OFF, IVE FOUND MYSELF WITH AMPLE FREE TIME TO LET MY MIND WANDER...WHICH IS A GIFT ALL OF ITS OWN.  IM MISSING THE GIRLS FROM HOME A LITTLE...THOSE FEW I THINK ABOUT OFTEN...HONESTLY IM HAPPY TO BE SO FAR AWAY, BUT AT THE SAME TIME...I WONDER YA KNOW? FUCK EM...IM HERE FOR CONQUEST...THOSE WHO LOVE WITH IRONY...RIGHT?

JANUARY 9 MMXI

JANUARY 5 MMXI

HELLO YALL!! IM SAFE IN SINGAPORE STAYING DELIGHTFULLY ON THE CARPE DIEM WITH RYAN AND MY NEW FRIEND FEDERICO FROM FLORENCE!, ITS SO FUNNY HOW SMALL YOUR JOURNEY BECOMES NO MATTER HOW BIG IT MAY HAVE BEEN AT HOME...ITS GENERALLY SHRUGGED OFF LIKE NO BIG DEAL, TO EUROPEANS ESPECIALLY, THATS AN AVERAGE HOLIDAY TO THEM TREKKING AROUND THE WORLD WITH NO PLANS AT ALL...THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM AND ME?, IM BROKE AND CANT REALLY WRITE HOME FOR MONEY.  THE AIRPORTS GOODBYES WERE TEARY AND GOOD, SAYING GOOD BYE IS NEVER FUN, BUT FOR ME, I RARELY HAVE HAD TO SAY ADIOS TO MY MOM AND DAD FOR ANY AMOUNT OF UNDETERMINED TIME.  IT SUCKED...MY SIS ALSO POPPED DOWN TO THE AIRPORT AND GAVE ME MY HUGS.  THE FIRST LEG OF THE TRIP TO TAIPEI (NOT KOREA) WAS A BLINK OF THE EYE THANKS TO THE XANEX I WAS GIVIN TO MAKE IT EASY...I BELIEVE I SLEPT FOR NEARLY 17 STRAIGHT HOURS.

DECEMBER 29 MMX